Groceries

As Karen walked out of the bookstore like she was sneaking out of a porn store. She slipped Janet's picture into the book at the start of chapter one and the book into her purse. The weather was cold, the wind howled against her back, and she walked quickly down the sidewalk to work.

Karen's desk was in a corner where most people didn't go except to talk to her. She pulled the book out of her purse, leaving one drawer of her desk open so she could quickly dump it if anyone came her way. For several minutes she just looked at the picture, a fingertip occasionally touching the face as though she was actually touching Jackie.

She was so entranced that she didn't hear Sandy walk up. "Who is she?"

Karen was startled and fumbled with the book and picture. The book landed face up with the title so Sandy could easily read the big bold letters on the cover over a picture of two women kissing.

"I didn't know."

"It's for a friend."

"That's okay Karen. I understand. It's not like I haven't had those feelings too. More than a few times even. After Kevin left me two years ago I wondered even more." Sandy paused and they looked at each other not saying anything. "Is she the person you're seeing?" Sandy sat in the chair next to Karen's desk reaching over to take the picture.

Karen nodded her head. "Guess I couldn't keep it a secret anyway."

"Bet you look good together." Sandy handed the picture back and laid her hand on back of Karen's hand. "I won't tell anyone. Just know I understand and I don't mind. ... How long?"

"We just met, but she was the first woman..."

"I'm proud of you. If you need to talk, I'm here for you." Sandy stood and walked away.

"That went well, but it will be much worse with others," Karen thought. "Am I ready for that? Guess that is the big question."

-

Over the next few days, Karen read the 342 pages at least 3 times, some chapters 5 or 6 times. Her head spun and her mind raced, but she knew that love trumped all. At least that was what her mother had always told her.

The book was stuffed in her purse as she knocked on Janet's door.

"Hey darling, no need to knock. My place is your place you know."

Karen walked in, her smile was missing and her head hung down a little. Janet noticed and wrapped her arms around Karen. "Sweetie ... what's wrong? Talk to me." Janet held her hand and led her to the couch and pulled her down next to her.

Karen took the book out. "I've been doing some reading. One of my coworkers even saw me reading the book, but was supportive. I know most people might not be."

"Do you love me?"

"I do. I just have never gone against the tides before."

"If you really want to be with me, I will help. I sometimes forget what IT was like."

-

The snow covered trees flashed passed the windows of the ratty twenty-year-old four-wheel drive Blazer poorly painted in three shades of brown as the wipers slapped back and forth knocking snow off the windshield. The radio was just loud enough to drown out the drone of the transfer case that sounded like it was ready to fail 10,000 miles ago. A snowplow passed going in the other direction throwing huge sheets of brown snow high in the air.

"Thanks for asking me to come." Karen said, her hand resting on Janet's thigh.

"You belong in that seat."

They weren't going any place in particular, just driving down the road, a chance to be out and together. Something they had not done much. The snow got heaver by the mile and the wipers were having trouble keeping the windshield clear. Karen's hand slipped around on the thigh, occasionally touching sensitive places.

"Love your touch darling." Janet moaned in a throaty voice taking a quick peek at Karen before turning back.

The sun was barely shinning though the dark clouds, the snow and road grime covered the headlights so much that it was now hard to see where the edge of the two-lane road was. The half lit neon sign flashed 'otel', the part with the name no longer worked. It was one of those long one-story motels of the 40's that had seen too many owners to count. There were maybe thirty rooms and the parking lot was half full. Janet pulled in and stopped at the office.

"Come with me." Janet said.

Holding hands, Karen opened the office door.

The chubby old woman in a dress that was probably bought twenty years ago and looking like the last time she'd had sex was just after she bought the dress, stood behind the desk staring and saying nothing.

"We want a room with one queen bed."

"Of course you do. Fifty dollars," she said in a flat drone like she had said it a million times and nothing would surprise her.

As they walked out from the office, a line of 10 people now snaked around the small room. The snow was now coming down so hard that other cars were still pulling into the lot. There were no taillights further down the road.

The Blazer headlights barely lit the door of room 16 as Janet turned the engine off. "Not the Plaza is it?"

"No, but it will have you in it. That's all that matters to me."

One bare light bulb lit the room. The inside of the room was paneled in wide knotty pine boards running vertically, rectangular acoustic tiles covered the ceiling, a small table sat under a small mirror, and a threadbare Chenille bedspread covered the bed. The heater sounded like it might keep the room warm on a warm night and their breath was clearly visible. It was a good thing they were lovers, otherwise it would be a very cold night.

Not bothering to bring in any luggage, they closed the door, undressed, and pulled the covers over them. Through the well-worn curtains, the pink glow of the neon blinked on the wall as they held each other close, lips locked together, and tongues racing back and forth.

-

Barton wasn't a big city; actually it wasn't even a city. The sign said it had 8,250 people and the lake next to downtown was frozen over. No dinner last night and the 73 miles since the 'otel' had left them very hungry. An old man in a heavy coat and a green John Deere hat walked out of the diner as they parked next to the few other cars angled towards the curb.

One empty booth became filled as they sat next to each other on the same bench covered in red Naugahyde with little black flakes. Karen smoothed out a rip in the seat as she looked over at the waitress staring back at them and said, "Two coffees please" as she held up two fingers.

"Sure honey," said the middle-aged woman with short red hair dressed in the typical white dress and dirty apron. Under her breath she mumbled, "I know what T-W-O means" while she faced away from the women.

Two old men in bib overalls sat at the counter sipping their coffee and smoking cigarettes twisted around to see who had just come in. One looked back at the other and whispered a low groan, "Lesbians."

The waitress slapped him and yelled, "Shut up Fred!"

"Yeah Doris. I forgot you're one of them too," he snapped back.

Doris sat the cups on the table. "Don't mind them, just old farts that should drop dead. What can I get you?"

Janet squeezed Karen's hand, and then said, "Two waffles."

"Ain't got any of them Belgium waffles."

"That's okay," Karen said. Hearing the poor English and strange dialect, she had trouble holding back a slight giggle.

As Doris walked away, Karen gave Janet a little kiss.

Fred grumbled to the other guy, "Get a motel." He put his empty cup down along with a dollar, and then both men walked out the door giving them a frown as they passed.

The place was empty as Doris brought the waffles to the table. She sat on the edge of the opposite bench of the booth. "Been together long?"

"Not long enough for me. Less than a month." Janet said as she continued to hold Karen's hand but giving it a slight squeeze.

"My girl and me broke up last week. There're two good places in town, 'Julie's' is a nice bar and serves good burgers, and 'A Girls Place' is a great bookstore. If you're staying the night, the 'Town Motel' is fine. Of course it's the only motel here." A voice from the kitchen yelled, "Doris!" She patted Janice on the shoulder, and then walked away.

-

Janet and Karen held hands as they walked down a narrow melted path along the sidewalk.

"That wasn't so bad." Karen smiled as she looked where she was about to step. She knew there were a lot of 'Fred' types in the world.

"There will be rocky moments. Just hold my hand." It didn't take any explanation to make clear what Janet was saying.

Janet pushed the bookstore door open and the brass bell jingled. The strong smell of incense filled the store. A young woman with one arm heavily tattooed, the other not, sat behind the counter reading a book. She glanced up and said, "Let me know if I can help," then returned to her reading.

They walked passed the books on astrology and tarot cards, passed books on growing Marijuana, and then passed the books on Wicca. The young woman half looked up and said without really knowing what they were looking for, "Against the left wall in the back."

Sure enough there were the lesbian erotic books just where she had said. Karen flipped though one book while Janet looked at another.

Karen read out loud, "Her tongue slipped across the dampness that oozed from the soft pink skin between the strangers legs." As Karen put the book back on the shelf, she looked at Janet and smiled. "Maybe the 'Town Motel' is better than the 'otel' last night."

"As a great person recently said, 'but it will have you in it'," Janet cooed putting her book back too.

-

'No Smoking' the sign on the door to 'Julie's' read and Janet opened it. The sound of a 60's Dylan song drifted though the bar. Karen looked like she was trying to remember the title. "Just Like a Woman," Janet said.

"Any place," a female voice called out.

They sat in a booth facing the bar lined with mostly empty stools. Only two older women close to their age, wearing motorcycle vests with a Harley-Davidson logo on each, sat at the bar holding hands. They each had one elbow on the bar with a beer in that hand.

"What can I get you?" Candy said. That was the name on the tag pinned crooked on her blouse. She was younger with red streaks through her blonde hair, the part that wasn't shaved off on just one side, and a ring through one nostril.

"Two rum and Cokes."

"Any food?"

"You have great burgers I hear."

"I guess. I don't eat meat."

"Well get us two burgers, medium. Please. And fries."

Candy walked away, her hips wrapped in jeans that looked like they were painted on and wiggling back and forth with each step of her high top Dr. Martens.

"So ... we're moving to Barton?" Janet whispered very softly as she leaned close to Karen.

Karen let out a fake laugh.

Candy sat their drinks down hard and they both splashed a little. "Sorry. Where're you from?"

One of the women that had been sitting at the bar walked passed Candy and slapped her on the bottom. "Nice ass Candy. Want to ride my face?" she called out on her way to the bathroom. "Just for you Betty," Candy yelled back.

"Rockville," Janet said.

"You stop at the bookstore yet? Need to check that out. My girlfriend works there."

There were six empty glasses and two empty burger baskets on the table when Karen turned down a chance for another round of drinks. One of the few women that had arrived before they finished eating stood by the Rockolla jukebox. The clink of coins seemed like they would never stop. Two buttons were pushed and 'Blue Moon' by Ella Fitzgerald began playing followed by many more buttons being rapidly pushed like she had done it a million times.

Jackie pulled Karen up by the hand and began to slow dance her around the small space between their table and the bar. One hand rested behind Karen's back, the other clasped her hand and dangled along side them like teenagers dry humping at the senior prom.

"I like the version by The Marcels too. But this is nice and slow," Jackie whispered into her ear.

"I just like you holding me the way you are. I feel 'safe'. Have I told you how much I love you?"

"You mean in the last half day?" Janet moved her head from Karen's shoulder and kissed her gently on the lips.

Betty and her friend were watching and swaying back and forth. They softly clapped. Others joined in the clapping as Janet's hand slipped down Karen's back and rested over her hip.

-

The phone rang in the room of the 'Town Motel' and the voice said, "This is your wake up call."

"Can't be. Who asked for that?" Karen groaned as she dropped the handset on the cradle and rolled roughly onto Janet, an arm flopped over her back. "Just ravish me for a few more days dear."

Karen and Jackie took turns taking a bath in the shower that was too small to share. Dry and dressed, they walked the block to the diner from the day before. The same guys were sitting at the counter and Doris was filling up their cups with coffee once again as the smoke from their cigarettes clouded the air around them.

"Hi girls. Want the same as yesterday?"

"Sure." Karen called out as they sat in the same booth, the same rip under her.

Doris sat the thick ceramic mugs full of coffee on the table, a small oil slick floating on top of the black liquid, and a spoon in each cup. "Did you have a nice time at 'Julie's'?"

"The best," Janet said. She turned and whispered, "Just as long as you are next to me darling."

"Betty was quite taken with the dance. No secrets in Barton." Doris laughed as she walked away.

Fred and the other man walked past their table on the way out. "Sorry about yesterday," he said as he tipped his hat.

Doris returned with the waffles. "He can be an ornery old coot, but he can be nice too."

The door to the Blazer shut with a crunch as some snow fell on the pavement.

"Want to go down the road?" Janet asked.

"I will do down any road anywhere with you. If you don't mind, I'd like to run naked around the cabin with you. Forever."

"I couldn't find a nicer person to do that with. Forever."

-

The wildflowers were blooming and the days of early spring provided a wonderful contrast to the cold winter that thankfully was now over. They sat naked on the large flat rock by the stream, the sides of their hips touching softly.

"I don't feel 61," Karen groaned. "Where have the years gone?"

"Me either. And it doesn't feel like this will be our eighth spring," Janet said as she lay back on the rock letting her legs spread slightly. "The warmth of this rock will always remind me of your warmth against my back at night. I can't imagine my life without you."

"We've shared so many wonderful things - like that first night in the blizzard, or that wonderful dance at 'Julie's'. Can't forget the month in San Francisco. Would have been so grand to share all those years before we met with you. At least we get to have these." Karen's fingers parted the glistening lips between Janet's legs and she stared at the pink skin inside. "And I will never tire of looking at this part of you." Her fingertip touched Janet's clit and rubbed around it a few times.

"Oh-h-h my-y," was all Janet said.