All Comments on 'Guilt & Redemption Ch. 06'

This tale is simply beautiful. I love that little Pixie is finding happiness.

This story is simply beautiful. I am so hoping that little Pixie’s deserved happiness continues.

Dear Pixiehoff,

Thank-you Pixie, for reaching out for Ali and to find your true love, and my “Lizzie Syndrome remains active / alert until Abby makes peace with Pixie in your “The Training of Pixie” story series.

I uploaded the entry below, via the Literotica’s Feedback option, in case this entry fails to upload utilizing Literotica’s Add Comment option. Once again congratulations Pixie again Pixiehoff for finding your “True Love.”

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My Reality of Two Pixiehoff’s Story Series

Dear Pixiehoff,

First, I want to thank-you Pixie and the Literotica screening police for allowing me to post my long and unusual “Lizzy Syndrome” comment, in Chapter 5 of your “Guilt & Redemption” story series. I knew right from the beginning of your “The Training of Pixie” story series, that I had my own Pixie that lived constantly thinking outside the box to conform / live within your character “Abby” / real world, established rules, and regulations. However, I did not possess your wonderful writing talent, to express those feelings; unless, I provided you objective evidence. Now, that you received my objective evidence, welcome to the way I intrepid your two-story series into my writing world.

I started sensing “Lizzy Syndrome” symptoms again as your “The Training of Pixie” progressed for the following reasons:

1. My Pixie intended to avoid taking any English courses until completing all other college courses.

Your Abby eliminated my Army Enlisted position and pushed my ambition to become a Warrant Office and complete the six-credit hour, College English course requirement.

2. My Pixie wanted to “get the hell out” of English Composition (COMP) I, when my English Teacher (Roberta,) recommended the “drop out” option for not giving a full comment to her class, because I felt, that I did not have the necessary skills to complete her requirements.

Your Abby forced me to stay by eliminating Enlisted position / and taking away my comfort zone.

3. My Pixie loved the effects of the “Ritalin” medication, prescribed by the doctor, then my Pixie played by the rules and wrote taking Ritalin in the medications block of my Army Physical paperwork.

Your Abby wrote “Unfit for Warrant Officer Position,” on my Army Physical report, due to taking Ritalin, which forced my Pixie to confiscate and destroy that physical report and throw away my Ritalin prescription.

4. My Pixie asked that writing evaluator three times if he was sure, that I belonged in the English COMP I, course and not the Creative Writing course.

Your Abby / writing evaluator replied “relax and have a drink.” Oh, I wanted to take revenge on your Abby and that writing evaluator, because I felt so lost and alone and all I could is say is “I knew this was going to happen plus “God why did you do this me” over and over and over and that’s when I developed my “Lizzie Syndrome.”

5. Worst of all, I received a grade of B+ for English COMP I, but my Pixie felt that Roberta felt sorry for me and just gave that grade to push me along like all the other teachers. So, my Pixie did something awfully stupid, that I will always deeply regret, I kept turning my Lizzy paper every week just to “push Roberta’s buttons,” because I needed to know if I could trust her.

Roberta scolded me soundly and told me, “English COMP I is over and you did well.” She further explained “You are about fail English COMP II for not writing the required assignment.” Finally, Roberta told me to leave. The letter below, explains what took place that night and together we put “Lizzie Syndrome” to bed as Penny does with your Pixie. That letter took me a week to write, because I wrote via my feelings for the first time.

At first, I did not notice, that you started your Guilt & Redemption series, so I read all four chapters together, which caused an information overload issue that triggered my “Lizzie Syndrome” senses but in a positive way. I used my own, real life, multi-tasking issues, that normally associates itself with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD,) and how it took me 30 years to obtain two Associate Degrees to counter your multi-tasking issues by pushing forward the fact that you earned your Master of Arts (MOA) by the age of 24. I was further saddened that when you responded, “Yes, there is a good deal of autobiography here” in my Chapter 4 comment.

At 1 am, 2/10/2021, US. Eastern Time, Literotica posted Chapter 5 of your “Guilt & Redemption” story series, at this point, I despised your former lover Ruth and liked Pixie having a potential relationship with Ali. I blurted out, “Lizzie Syndrome” for the first time, in over 5 years, after reading your "Darling Pixie, money is often given as a substitute for love - but it is not love. I can promise one thing - I will show you what love mean" sentence. I knew exactly what I needed to do, but I had one major problem where did I store my Lizzie letter to Roberta? I did not store those letters on this computer so two hours later, of searching 4 older computers, I found my Lizzie letters. Now, I ran into the greatest risk of all, am I okay of exposing my “Lizzie Syndrome” to everyone. I answered that question quickly because of the phase “If You See Something, Say Something” because my whole life changed, when I reached out to Roberta. Now, I had one issue left, how to reach Pixiehoff? Obviously, the Literotica comments section worked so far, but I was afraid of four issues:

1. The comment section might not be large enough to handle this large upload.

2. The “Literotica Police” would think I am a lunatic and deny my posting and block me from posting on their site again.

3. Would Pixiehoff contact the “Literotica Police” herself, stating I am a lunatic, and deny my posting and block me from posting on their again site again.

4. Would Pixiehoff herself or Literotica issue a restraining order against me from accessing their web site or restrict access to your Pixehoff story site.

Despite all the consequences, I wrote my Chapters 5 comments and pasted my Lizzie letter to Roberta and clicked send comment, and I received the “Comment Successfully Submitted.” The next day, my comment never posted, and my “Lizzie Syndrome” started to overwhelm me again, so I chose to use the feedback option and submitted Lizzie. I also re-submitted Lizzie via comment section again in chapter 5. I received the same “Comment Successfully Submitted” reply and thought that was odd. I also informed Pixiehoff of what I was attempting to accomplish in your Chapter 11, of her “The Training of Pixie” story series and you made me so happy with your “I was very moved” in your comment response to me.

It seems so strange that two stories performed two polar opposite effects of my Lizzie Syndrome:” Your “The Training of Pixie” story that shows the creation of my “Lizzie Syndrome” and your “Guilt & Redemption” allows Pixie a chance to reach out to Ali, like I did with Roberta, to escape “Lizzie Syndrome.”

Thank-you Pixiehoff, for taking the time to read both of my story interpretations. Please, promise me Pixiehoff, that you will never edit or alter your thought pattern to any of your stories on my account. You are kind and a special lady Pixiehoff, just like my dear Roberta. With your permission, I would like to share with you, at least one more Roberta letter at a later date. Can you please answer on question Pixiehoff, what is the official name / medical term for my “Lizzy Syndrome?”

Please, Stay Heathy and COVID Safe,

Jeff

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Dear Roberta,

I owe you a deep apology for the way I acted at the beginning of English COMP II. I had no idea how I earned a B+ with a terrible final paper for English COMP I. I thought you were like all the other English teachers that smiled and pushed me along. Though scared, I had all the intensions to learn and grow but I knew I did poorly on my final paper. For seven weeks, I felt confused, bitter, and alone. I continued to work on Lizzie to prove to you that I could write a research paper, but I failed miserably. I purposely did not work on any of the required English COMP II assignments because I felt you would pass me like before. The truth is, I did not trust you, so I intentionally stopped working to “push your buttons.” I made an unwise decision, that I deeply regret because, after you scolded me, I realized you really did care about me, but I hurt you.

When I left school that night, I waited in my car and cried then watched you drive away. I went home and I put all my Lizzie notes, newspaper articles into a box and never looked at them again. But instead of writing a letter, I vowed to never hurt you again. It was that night, I understood the meaning of your smile, why I attached myself to you, why I always kept you in my thoughts and prayers, and why I wanted to hug you and never let go. I knew that night I discovered a special person that could teach me about English, and help me grow. More important, I always wanted to see you smile, so I helped you find a job, helped David with yard work, and obtained a VHS video of a one-woman performance that required an official school letterhead document to obtain.

Though we separated for nearly 20 years, I always tried to do things the way that would make you smile and not scold me. You and Tricia have been my inspiration to do well in all my endeavors. But it’s your teachings/standards that have allowed me to grow educationally and professionally.

I finally let go of Lizzie Borden at her 100th murder anniversary. I left a copy of my “Lizzie paper” with the Fall River Historical Society. I gave you all my “Lizzie” newspaper articles for other students to utilize, because I never wanted to see a student fail due to lack of information. You now know everything about my “Lizzie Syndrome” and a whole lot more than I told the doctor. Because of you, I can talk to you freely about Lizzie (though I may cry because I hurt you), after the past 20 years, and my feelings to renew our friendship that includes Tricia.

I am deeply sorry for hurting you that unfortunate night. I never did ask you how my actions affected you. I realize now that you had an unsuccessful relationship with your first husband and that made me feel so sad. But losing your beloved David hurt me deeply, because I enjoyed spending time with him.

I know our renewed relationship will be challenging because of our 20-year separation, but I know with your help, it will include Tricia. But please, understand, when I hug you it is my way of thanking you for everything you have done for me. You truly are a remarkable woman that I am glad, proud, and honored to call you my Trusted-Blanket, Teacher, Friend, Mentor, and Hero; Roberta.

Sincerely and Always from my Heart,

Jeff

I think an appropriate closing quotation for this (final?) chapter is from Catullus: "My sweetest Lesbia, let us live and love..." Pixie has found much-deserved peace---long may she rest in Ali's arms and that her peace is not disturbed by any more Ruths. A very fine, serious story, Pixie.

I am touched that you wrote this extra chapter, to share the love of your life with your readers. All I can do is try following your example, affirm, celebrate and nourish love wherever I find it.

Stay beautiful. Stay in love.

Thank you so much Jules. I so appreciate your comments x

I would never, ever, try to block you Jeff, and am happy that the moderator should have taken the same attitude.

I don’t know what the technical term for what you call your”Lizzy syndrome” is, and have never been sure that labels help. I suspect that we are both on the autistic spectrum, something more commonly diagnosed in men than women, which is why I was shocked when a Consultant suggested it to me. But it makes sense. I am obsessive. I am fortunate in that my brain and talents have found a way to harness that through my academic work.

You have been less fortunate, but through your own hard work found a way to make it work in your life and career.

Other people see, naturally enough, through their eyes, and given our problem seeing things through their eyes, we fail, often, to realise that we can come across as weird and even disturbing. We react to our own stimuli rather than interacting with them the way others would.

I hope Roberta understood. And most of all I hope your demons, like Pixie’s, can be laid, if not to rest, then at least are amenable to being managed xxx

...throughout the entire reading of this chapter. Truly, my heart soared along with Pixie's at how beautiful her relationship is with Ali. The lovemaking scene was the perfect ending to the episode. And if it be the end of this story, it is a perfect one for that as well. Thank you for writing such a beautiful and heartwarming saga. :)

Thank you so much, Amadeus. There is one, probably concluding chapter to come - the shadow of the past xx

Thank you, Maonaigh, there is one, final, chapter to come - Ruth remains xx

Thank you, OneAuthor. I hesitated long before writing and publishing this, but the reaction has warmed my heart. There is one final chapter where the shadow of the past needed to be confronted, and that is nearly finished xxx

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This is so different from your other works. I would equate it to Rembrandt's self portrait. So honest and human. Truly worthy of love........

The romance is wonderful and heartwarming these two melt my heart and gives me hop of finding love someway somehow.

Keep it up my little one.

Thank you, Anonymous. I thought long and hard before publishing something so personal, but Ali encouraged me to, so I did xx

Thank you, C - your encouragement is appreciated by your little one, and so, so much helps xx

Dear Pixiehoff,

I hope my feedback message made it clear that "My Pixie" ment "My Instinct."

My apologies Pixiehoff for confusing you.

Please Stay Healthy and COVID Safe,

Jeff

I did understand that, Jeff, and thank you so much x

Dear Pixiehoff,

Thank-you for the never trying to block me Pixiehoff, I enjoy so much writing to you. The Military writing class suggests saying thank-you up front when writing potential controversial correspondence to Civilians. Though, I had no doubt that you would never turn me away because of your extreme kindness.

I noticed, via your stories, that you are obsessed with downing yourself and this hurts me deeply. I assume this negative obsessiveness began early in life and still bothers you some at present. Please, remember, the less fortunate people that would give anything just to be Pixiehoff. You have a wonderful mind and a huge heart Pixiehoff, and no one can take that away from you. I’m sure all the people you teach, assist, and mentor look up to you. You make feel safe to attempt writing this letter with more feelings verses facts for the first time.

I apologize in my, at last Chapter 6 comment, because I failed to identify my Pixie fault. You mentioned it as a “demon;” however, I identify it as “instinct.” So, every time my instinct did something your Abby kept blocking me. I keep thinking how my future would have turned out if Abby blocked me from pushing “Roberta’s buttons” at the beginning of English COMP II.

I was at the grocery store buying baby food for our cat, Midnight. Midnight had mouth surgery, a week ago, and he can only eat baby food at least a week another week. Unfortunately, this past weekend, Midnight encountered two emergency hospitals stays due to insulin seizors. Now, Midnight requires another mouth surgery to drain saliva that leaked into his chin again. In just 4 days, we never hesitated spending a moderate amount to money to save our beloved, Midnight. Midnight will return home tomorrow (Thursday) and will make a full recovery, from having his left saliva glands removed, to seal his saliva from leaking into his chin. The doctor stated Midnight should live for another four years from this surgery procedure. However, a CT scan revealed a tumor in Midnight’s brain. The doctors will keep monitoring the tumor. Down the road, we may notice signs in Midnight’s behavior pattern and Midnight may possibly go blind. No one knows when this will occur, but rest assured, we will put our beloved Midnight to sleep before he truly suffers.

I also started laughing, when I picked up that jar of baby food. I pictured you as Mom working on your stories, perhaps talking on the phone, or on a Zoom call meeting, when Abby just yells out one word, “Mom!” Then Mom / Pixiehoff instinctively says, “Jeff, play nice and follow the rules.”

I took American Literature I with Roberta. At this point, I was nothing but her loyal puppy dog. I remember the first story read / write, In Roberta’s class. Students had the option of writing about interpreting the story characters to the story meaning, writing about the story to reflect a personal experience, or reflect upon the story to historical events. For the first story, I utilized the historical event option and everyone just stared at me. Poor Roberta looked dumbfounded until her she got home. She had her second husband, David look-up my references, and I was right, but I never got called upon again. I was doing well until Roberta stepped in and forced me to write about the story characters to the story interpretation. I swear Roberta wanted payback for what I did to her at the beginning of English COMP II. She made write the story myself then sat with me, after class, and of course smiled. Roberta always kept me on track but Roberta never knew about my “Lizzy Syndrome” until 20 years later. All Roberta had to do is smile at me, and I melted and still melt like butter today.

That is how I feel about you Pixiehoff, when I read your one line, from Chapter 5 of your “Guilt & Redemption” story sentence: "Darling Pixie, money is often given as a substitute for love - but it is not love. I can promise one thing - I will show you what love means." It was pure instinct. not a demon, that caused me to blurt “Lizzie Syndrome,” because I; instinctively, needed to find Roberta’s “Lizzy letter,” because I knew Pixie and Pixiehoff found their “True Love,” but I could not clearly state that to you without providing objective evidence.

As a former Military Safety Officer, I composed a list of possible risks associated with sending you Robert’s “Lizzy Letter” in a public forum. It took me three minutes to compose my list of consequences but only 3 seconds to ignore every consequence and click the send button, because I want my magical Pixie and Pixiehoff to always feel alive. feel safe and “Live Happily Ever After” with their “True Love.”

Please Stay Healthy and COVID Safe,

Jeff

Thank you do much Jeff - I appreciate your comments - and have now received my vaccination notice xx

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Ali is definitely one smart cookie; or biscuit as you curious Brits like to say.

The world would have been a slightly colder and darker place without this warm and cheery narrative.

Please thank her appropriately(nudge nudge wink wink) for encouraging you to publish this revelation.

Thank you so much, Anonymous - and I shall xxx

Very sweet story. Hits a little too close to home (in the right ways). :)

Thank you, my darling Bella xx

I love this story. It brings tears to my eyes. I am so happy for Pixie.

Paul

Paul, thank you so much xx

Magical, I just love the way you write, this time a nice warm feeling that all is well xxx

Thank you so much, darling Evie xxx

Reading this, I felt the beauty of their love. Then I felt sad because it's something that I no longer have in my life.

Anonymous, I would reach out and give you a hug, so I hoe a cyber hug (((xx))) will help xxx

Thank you. You give good cyber hugs.

I am glad they reached you (((xx)))

Things proceed in a positive direction for Pixie. Thanks to the gentleness and openness of Ali the Vicar. Ali is a woman of God, but still embraces a practical acceptance of her sexuality. And nice usage of the words of John Dowland. Such a enjoyable read Pixie. xxxx

Thank you so much, Jenny, and yea, Ali is a wonderful woman xxxxx

So does does hoff have a thing for vicars? Happy pix know true love

2x - she does x

Just beautiful to see Pixie find true love and know what it really feels. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Thank you so much, Aoife xxxxx

Pixie's emotional awakening is so beautiful; like flowers blooming in the spring after a hard winter. Her fear of being unloveable, and the way Ali holds her as she unburdens herself of those pent-up tears is so tender as to bring me to tears myself. The religious context gives the story a calm warmth with adds to Pixie and Ali's unique love. I'm in love with this series.

Oh Katie, thank you so much, coming from you that means a lot. I hope you are recovering and that we shall see you soon xxxxx