All Comments on 'Halloween Mom'

Only you could come up with such a red hot erotic story,I find it a bit difficult to accept that she had no idea it was her son,still that makes it even more erotic.

Erotic...yes. Sick....very.

Like your other stuff but this crosses too many lines

how or when you write your stories they come out great.keep us happy and keep writing your way.

Full marks for your excellent style and writing! That being the case, why did this story leave me feeling uneasy with a bad taste in my mouth? Could it be the rape of his mother? Could it be his murder of the father he loved? Best of luck in the competition but I think that many readers will find this tale a little too much for their sensibilities. Pete.

I gave you a 5 but am not sure why. I agree with PEATBOGs comment.

This was very well written, but unfortunately, I believe was miscatagorized under Incest/Taboo when it should have been placed under the Erotic Horror catagory. Good stuff though--very Stephen Kingish.

This very erotic story linked with a touch of evil is the very thing that halloween is all about.I am sure you know that halloween really started as a pagan celtic festival.The Celts originate from what is today central europe,this story has just the right amount of sexual evil,the sort of blackness that makes Vampire stories so sexual.The very best of luck with the competition,if there is such a thing as luck?

this was one of the best written stories i have read but it left me feeling very uneasy not quite full marks. a very very strange story

Have always enjoyed reading your storys. Have been disappointed lately with Literotica due to low quality of the storys submitted. Very refreshing to see a nicely developed and believeable story. The end is kinda strange but thereagain as you stated it is Halloween.

the story was well written, but had troubling elements.

especially the murder of the father, the not quite castration of the boss, and, above all, the mother's inability to recognize her own son's body

it didnt help that there was a hint of fornication with the girl friend's mother earlier in the story

quite simply, i think the ending was too rushed, almost as if the word count was reached or the writer had a dinner engagement to attend and wanted to wrap things up

harrison

I agree Erotic horror almost, although not gruesome and there is a strong incestuous aspect to it as well. It does show the sons controlling and single minded jealous desire for his mother. A little bizarre at the end where there is a suggestion that he has done away with his father. Not really into the getting pregnant or having children with his mother but it does add to the illicitness and how wrong the situation really is. Still well written if deliberately disturbing in some ways. Then again it's Halloween and although I'm not really up for these seasonally themed stories this one fits the bill alarmingly well and the sexuality is erotic.

This was good in a strange kind of way.

Worrying.

Yet captivating.

good luck

I see this story just passed mine for #1 in comments in the last 24 hours. Well no wonder, it is TOTALLY FRIGGING HOT. If this story doesn't win the Halloween Contest, there is no JUSTICE in Literotica land. I think I'll go put a comment on my story, and maybe I'll go back to #1.

On Halloween the spirits of the dead when they return to mix with the living will appreciate this.I liked the way you used incest ,son impregnating mother ,the death of the father to highlight the mystery that surrounds our very existance.I do not find this disturbing in the least,it is very erotic and extremly sexual.A winner.

jim that was the best story i have read for along time it was so believable well done

hilly

Not up to your usual standards. I greatly disliked the killing of the father at the end. The act is disturbing enough, but I could deal with it if it fit the story. It's the way it's tacked on the end that didn't work. "Oh, by the way, did I mention I killed my father, whom I love very much, because he was in the way?" That's about how you presented it. If he was going to kill his father, he would have been thinking about it, he would have been conflicted about it, etc... There should have been foreshadowing of some kind. Basically, it's a BIG DEAL, yet you tack it on briefly at the ending like an afternote almost not worth mentioning. As it is, it seems bizarre that the kid would do it and the mother would happily accept it because it doesn't fit with what we know of them up until that point (sure, the kid does some wild stuff, but murder is a whole different ballgame). That's just bad writing. Either do it right or don't do it at all.

that was fantastic. didnt like killing the father but the rest was the best i have ever read

This is an excellent story,you must have done your homework on The real meaning of Halloween,an ancient celtic festival,the story weaves ancient beliefs with the modern day world.The evil dark side of the story,the sexual theme and the almost wicker like disposal of the father all weave together.I will leave it there,except to say we on this side of the atlantic also have all saints day and november 5th[not celebrated in the republic of Ireland]to "celebrate"

This has been the most difficult story to read, vote and comment for Halloween. The writing is good, but the content (for me) was nil, so it was a 50-50. I did not find this story frightening. I found it disturbing. There is no horror, no sensuality, just a story of a juvenile, self-centered, amoral psychopath on a rampage. Regretfully, I can read about those in the newspapers.

I like this story very much,it has made a lot of people think,some comment the son has done away with his father,where does it say that,it doesnt does it?If you believe in halloween,then the restless spirit of the father will be back to walk once more to haunt them in their evil incestuous relationship.This is a fun erotic sex story with a bit of horror thrown in,isnt that what we do today on halloween?

This story had all the elements, but not the pacing or the tautness of writing. The killing of father was not required, but good elements of gripping drama are here. Nice job, just more polish required.

The storie i mean. you advertise this as a dark story, implying a sort of evil and and harshness, but then its just the same old scouries, someone fucking their mom, sister whatever. as a sex story it didn't work. as a scary story it didn't work either. You just grabbed one of your plots and made it halloween. no luck, author. It's just another storie

Very good job. All the things I enjoy in a good incest story, the son taking his fathers property, the mother being the perfect slut. You have my sincer respect as a writer. Very talented.

Greetings.

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First off, I read a lot of the incest/taboo category, so please don't think I'm picking on for your category. It's one of my favorite categories. This one just didn't get my cock hard. I think you tried to cram too much in too small a place, resulting in an overstuffed item. Perhaps you should consider expanding it to be a novella or breaking it into pieces, expanding them a bit, and posting them as separate chapters. Take your time, expand on the eroticism slowly, drawing the reader in. Think about your story arc, and let it draw to a natural peak. You had several peaks in this story, none of them very high, and the end was anti-climatic. You seemed to hit the apex of your story in the middle, not the close, but it's hard to tell since you go up and down and up and down again.

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This leads me to my next critique. Perhaps you should slow down on the writing, and study your craft. If your story is a bridge between two people, you must build your structure to support the weight of your story. Your formatting skills are weak. There are several basic errors in punctuation - improper ellipses, irregular dialog formatting, apostrophes! Please watch your apostrophes! - as well as several run on sentences. Some of your paragraphs break in odd places. Some are too long; some break a logical thought pattern too early. Lit has an excellent editor program, may I gently suggest you take advantage of it? If not, find a reader you trust who'll be brutally honest. We all like to have readers who gush and tell us how wonderful we are, but really, an honest beta reader is more valuable than hundreds of 5's. You will learn much more from one honest beta reader than all the gladhanders on Lit. At the very least, there are spell and grammar checkers built into just about every word processing program out there. Take advantage of them. These tools will make your writing much stronger.

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Finally, I hope that you're not too put out by my review. I made the same sort of comments that I make to my students. I have been published in both fiction and non-fiction markets, and I teach. If a student handed this in to me, I would hand it back and request a re-write. You've got a very good start here. If you insisted it was done and returned it in to me, I'd say it's good solid C. It still needs work. (I'm more interested in being honest with an eye to helping you improve than stroking your ego.) If it had gotten my cock hard, I would have given you a 50. However, for me, lack of the "big, red H factor" and the flaws in execution make it a 00 score.

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Best of luck to you, and I hope to see more from you in the future.

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Sorensen

It was a fantastic story and I hope that you will do more.

I have always wanted to make love to my mother and my sisters, all three of them have big tits that I would love to suck and a sweet pussy that I would love sucking on.

So as you can see your story really means a lot to me.

I am a big fan of yours, but was disappointed by this story. There was no preparation for the offing of the father by the son. The son appeared to like his father, and to be angry with those who showed disrespect for the family. He showed obvious affection for his father for the way the father had demonstrated love for the mother by his treatment of her after the first "rape". Casually killing him at the end demonstrated inconsistent behavior on the part of the son, and was not essential to the development of the story.

I agree with many of your followers; it's not scary. I think it would have been more realistic if Will had confronted his mom and boss at the cabin in his Zorro costume and altered Parker's anatomy with the customary Z, in such a way as to prevent any woman from wanting him again. But to let him live and then get rid of his dad? It just isn't right. To have him die while hunting; would have been sufficient. To continue with the Zorro rapture of his mother would have been good. To continue being 2 people, like the split personality of Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde, would keep the interest going. Sadistic and demonic at one time, followed by the embrace of a loving and caring son; who new just what was going on in his mothers mind, would have continued to degrade her, as well as give her a new awareness of unknow pleasures. jim

may be u should have added some affair's . the son could kill dad after getting caught by dad

Enjoyed the story, like most of scouries' work - right up to the point where our hero kills his father. Too dark, unnecessary and not credible. His mom is such a sub/slut that she'll overlook the gruesome murder of her husband in her desire for a dom?? You lost me there. Lots of other options - you could have cuckolded him, kept him dumb and happy... For me, a blemish on a nice, dark bit of erotica.

Sorensen, of Australia, so I'm not going to whip a dead horse. But I do injoy your stories, and if I had wrote this one, the ending would have been differant. Keep it Up, ;)

I enjoyed this story throughout, until you killed off the father. Not only didn't it ring true, but it sends a repulsive message to readers.

The skill of writing is in the details. You must be a pro. Great stuff, dusting daddy at the end was just right for All Hallows Eve. Buzz

this is the best story i've ever read, ever, excellent well done, i don't know why but i feel the character in this story is like a more perverted incest loving future serial killer that the tv show dexter is. lol, the character reminds me of dexter with the dustin of dad, and mr parkers treatmant, ofcourse dexter isnt into incest *lol* but a very good story!

DUDE THE REST IS FINE EXCEPT THE ENDING WHICH IS JUST SICK. NOBODY WOULD KILL HIS OWN DAD UNLESS HE WASNT A COMPLETE PSYCHO

i'm usually a big fan of yours but the killing of the dad was unnecessary in your story Two Moms and a Sis...? you left what happened with the dad out that would be better than killing him.

killing the dad completely ruined the story and most of you other stories are loving but this was just too rough. im a huge fan though

You........are..........GOD!!!

This story was great but like others have said the endinng is a little extreme. i doubt any woman would accept the death of her husband like that. still huge fan

This is a brilliantly conceived and executed story, as we'd expect from Mr. Scouries. The hero, Will, is a son who really knows what he wants and pursues it with utter ruthlessness. What he wants is his mother's fine fat twat and his supersized dick plundering it without compunction. Will's big stiff prick is the center of his being, and he has no problem whatsoever in shoving it up his Mom's cunt. At first his mother resists, but the sight and feel of "Zorro's" big hard cock quickly wins her over. Will enjoys the satisfaction any son would in blowing his balls up the same cunt he came out of. Like any Alpha Male, Will decides to get rid of competitors for his mother's twat, the wimpy Mr. Parker and finally his own Dad! Will likes his father and all, but in the end he knows it is his own superior stiff prick that must rule alone. He puts down his Dad with a minimum of pain and trouble and enjoys his destiny, his great triumphant cock as the sole occupant of the finest cunt in the whole fucking world--his own mother's!

.........Your talent varies with the different stories you write...all truly enjoyable.....thank you so much....

Killing off Pop is an extreme act and that of a pyscho son and creates the wrong message for readers who enjoy your style. The pscho image emerges when Will goes into the spying game and carries on from there. But in this modern age, it is pure caveman tactics of the man going out to get what he wants and no explanation of how he died. The sick part is the mother willing accepts it and carried on this relationship.

The end was horrible.

Please rework on the ending & then I will rate you much higher

Rest is good

A very well written story. Despite what others have said, I didn't think the killing of the dad ruined the story, it completed it. It was fitting. It was despicable act, but all that Will did was despicable. That act was Will's last descent into madness. A madness that had begun long ago, and was probably partly inherited from the mother. The whole story was dark and distasteful and arousing. Very fitting for a Halloween story.

be fantasies to take you away from reality and the stresses of life - to be enjoyed for what they are - escapism - this has to be the most vile story ever written on here - not only does he rape his mother but then commits murder and thinks it is OK. Just what sort of sick bastard is that or are you for writing such demonic crap - hated it - one very sick minded person to write this and think it is enjoyable - probably only to someone equally as sick minded as you.

One of your better stories - the woman was more interesting somehow. The ending went a little far. I don't think cuckold stories are a good idea, for that reason. Sex is supposed to be fun: how many nonconsent stories end with "and she was frigid and mentally messed up for the rest of her life " vs. "and she came to love rough sex and they lived happily ever after." I think you either have to make the cuckold an unsympathetic character or have him be a non-character who leaves the story for some innocuous reason.

amazing i luv the whole rape thing

There's no fun in that and it makes your story look like the ones or ordinary writers. A different ending could have fetched 5 stars, killing fetches only 3.

RAW, but as erotic fiction, it kept my interest, and so, after many of your stories, had me wondering what the twist would be. As others have commented, I might have preferred a different ending, but these stories aren't supposed to be moral, just engrossing, as this one surely was. Thanks.

What evil lurks in the minds of men (or boys). LOL! Really didn't see THAT level of it coming...but I can imagine his desire to completely OWN his mother. Patty, however, will never understand..especially when she realizes it's HER blood that spawned this evil! Other than THAT little tidbit, the story was somewhat HOT. Excellent tale.

Eventhough this is not a new story, it's still one of my favorites on this site. Please keep sharing your wonderful clever and erotic stories with us readers even if it's not Halloween.

haha. definately a halloween story thats for sure. cant kill the bastards that are porking his mom but can kill his dad? thats definately a twist not to be expected. lol. though got to ask yourself which is worse? death or making someone so scared they shit their pants everytime someone turns on a light or comes up behind them. hahaha

of these stories is why young adult men say "Mommy" so much. It's fetishist in stories that are otherwise not fetishistic.

Also, +1 on TechRaider's comment: killing off Dad is a lame way to end the story.

Even with those issues, it's still 5-star.

I liked it until the ending ... I like the depiction of the son's anger. It seems plausible however the ending could have been more convincing if you play on Will's behaviour that he may be Bipolar or borderline personality disorder that led to his killing of the father. Because his treatment of Graham doesnt seem like something coming from a well-brought up pampered kid.

Even after four years, it's still of the best Halloween stories on the site.

bad ending, not needed. not like your usual, keep your stories light,

The ending took me by surprise and sorry to say made this story ( I am reading through all your's ) feel sad at the end. I felt you let yourself down by this ending. 3 instead of five for me.

Okay... Incest Erotica has always been a kind of preference of mine. I like twisted and unusual ideas. I have read and enjoyed many. And you my friend, have created one of the best. Very nicely done!

Talk about wild and fucking crazy !! I came twice while reading this story and I'm still hard ! Happy fucking halloween !!

Kills his own Dad, huh? Definitely caught me by surprise but I'd say it had a nice symmetry to it. After all, the cocksucker rapes his own mother (which the cheating whore loved) and puts a baby in her (which was pretty hot, I'll admit). I think in some ways, it was better that the dad never found out.

was very hot till he kills dad at the end i dont useally like slut moms that sleep around but was hot keep it up

Can you say "Oedipus", boys and girls?

This story was good until the last paragraph...

By offing his father and then TELLING his mother.... you set up a situation that goes against what he does with the scumbox that set up his mother's original infidelity. That idiot(the realtor scum) he lets live... and then offs his father, while expecting his mother to accept such actions against a person she loves. His mother loves his father while still being unfaithful. This is repeatedly stated. GO TO JAIL. Do not pass go... You need a reality check. Do you think his mother is going to accept such hardness, nay even iciness of being and not run scared for the rest of her life.

Capital crimes are never closed until a court has ruled - guilty or not guilty. There isn't a true way to have the perfect crime. You have the opening now for another chapter and even a few more - finish the story. You got my five star vote and I considered rating it as a one star but as this is fantasy writing, you got the highest score from me.

It was kinda weird ending, a little sinister but it was unexpected.

I really like this, but you screwed up the ending. She accepts a rapists baby. Ok, lots of women do. They don't report rape because they are ashamed. The husband thinks it is murder, so he accepts it also. She accepts repeated rapes. Well, she IS a bit of a sexual animal and she's realized that he isn't really going to hurt her permantently or let her husband know. So, as it the kind of kinky sex that she likes she rides with it. Its a bit of a stretch, but this an incest story on literotica, but she accepts her son as her secret past and future lover. But a Murderer? I just don't see even an adulterous mother of an incestous teenaged boy being ok with him killing his father. She harbored no animosity toward her husband, had no split in their marriage, had just had a daughter, was having all the sex she probably wanted. A comfortable life with good friends and job. So, we the reader are supposed to say 'ok - right on!' to an out of the blue killing. By his son. Who thinks of it almost as a mercy killing. No, not good. Scouries, I like reading your work. But this stretches even my imagination too far.

You create a sociopathic, Oedipal, patricidal animal and present him to your readers to admire!!! Curious, in a WTF sort of way. A good story, ruined by a nonsensical, ugly ending. His mother adopting the attitude that when one cock goes away another can just take its place without recrimination or regret. The goings-on between mother and son might seem immoral to some, but there is no might about murdering your father just for some of mommy's ass. you ruined all the good work you had previously done with just one off-the-wall idea. Sorry, NO BUENO!!!!

sort of all rite . rape murder is a big no no would made a 5 .not after that

He should not have told his mom as this confirms that he (the son) is a sociopath. Now, if she thinks about it she will realize that fact and will grow to hate or fear him. But still, like most of your stories, it was a really good read. I must have read it before

but I did not see a comment. Oh, well. Keep up the good work, Jim. Lamar

Horrible ending

No way will this fly. Mom will tell after guilt eventually overcomes her mind.

ending for sure...most unpleasant. Otherwise a good read.

but the ending SUCKS

I am not sure i like the ending either, to knock off your own dad and start a relationship with your mom and always have that in the back of your mind is a heavy matter to deal with.

Great read and I gave you five stars. The murder is a problem and you need to do another chapter to explain such action.

But you've written about dark before. However I have no problem with incest, and not too many scruples about murder - in a good cause, of course - but I don't like rape. This, though, was really more of a teaching session, so I'm torn. I won'd say I like this, but I'm not going to put it down either

Even though I gave you 5 stars, you finally lost me in the last bit where he kills off poor old dad, why didn't you keep him around and then you could have written a second or more chapters with old dad being the baby sitter for all of his former wife and sons future brood of 10 to a dozen ankle biters

I always find the morons who lecture morals on *pornographic stories* hilarious. It's porn, morons. Great story!

but the murder was a bridge too far.

Please add a part 2 for this story.

You killed the dad? The fuck is that about?

He could have started fucking his secretary or something. Uneeded darkness

When you decide to kill a 5 star story you don't fool around...2 stars

I know you want to try new things, and anyone would get bored, writing the same thing over and over, but that ending...wow...just too dark. You instantly go from wishing you were him, getting to fuck your super hot mom, to not wanting to be him anymore. The overall story was incredible, so I gave you 5 stars, but I could have done without the ending. Total boner killer.

The ending totally sucked! Patty and Will could told Stan and gotten to understand. Then Stan and Will could have taken her at the same time: Spit-roasted her; dp'ed her until Will headed off to college. But murder? Totally wrong ending. Still got three stars for the rape and incest.

If he killed his father he does not deserve to raise his daughters. He should go to jail. Because of ending one star given.

This fool is severely twisted in his head, he didn't murder the creep that his mother was having the affair with, but he kills his own father, after cuckolding him, what a piece of human (CRAP). His death should be slow and painful. I didn't like this one at all. Dads/Fathers get no respect here. 1- Star!

Good story but killing off dad . Not so much

well that was fucked! Good story, right up To the point where it turned into a snuff film story… Sorry bud, one star only because you crossed the line…

Was good till you had him kill his dad out of the blue. That did not mesh with the character.

Everything good except the ending, Him killing his dad sucks,

Sonny boy was a WIMP just like his Dad...there was no revenge. just a bit of scare that will go away, actually already has...SO! just another whore/fuck story.

The killing of Dad was too much

I agree with the numerous other commenters that Will killing his dad was too much, and that it didn't quite fit with the character as developed. I understand why you'd want to write dad out of the story, but a heart attack or an accident would have been better.

I disagree with Anonymous (02/22/2021) that Will "wimped out" on revenge against Graham. It was Graham that proved to be a wimp; Will simply recognized that what he'd already done was enough. I mean, sure, he could have followed through, but what was the point? Graham's mind was already totally fucked over.

Rapeing his own mum, the woman being cool with more consensual sex with her rapist, and having an incest baby is ok, but killing his dad was bad? I'm confused. And horny.

Usually love your stories but hate the outcome of this one.

rape and murder are not my idea of a good time

I really would be great if you’d come back for a sequel.

Killing his father was to much. For me, it kind of ruined the story, but he should have cut the other guy's dick off.

Ahhh man, ya gotta write another chapter for this story... amazing.. I gave it 5🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟...please continue more to the story..thank you

Killing his farther and raping his mom is way too damn much raping his mom could have been over looked since she liked it however Killing his dad on top of it no way can it be

(6/25/2022) You had to do it didn’t you. So, he couldn’t kill Parker but he sure could kill his dad. You screwed with a great story by having the son commit patricide? This was an outstanding shit ending. I could overlook the rape in this context of how his mum enjoyed sex. Just barely. But the son killing the dad off was so far out there it was ridiculous. You did it to screw with your readers' minds just because you could, IMO. I can’t believe that you would actually believe it was a great ending to this narrative. Again I have several of your stories on my favorites list and several on my shit list. Turning the son into a psychopath was, well…, stupid. What a waste of talent. It’s all I can say. Guess what rating I gave this piece of literary flotsam.