by sack
How very difficult to lose someone dear to you. I'm glad you wrote this story...it almost seems like you needed to. The love the characters felt was plain to see and you related that very well.
Job well done, my friend.
my heart. How sad to lose someone, especially someone so young at the beginning of a relationship that seemed destined for you. It was beautifully written articulated well and almost had me in tears. Good luck with the contest.
Danielle
Thanks for sharing; your story is a beautiful tribute to a loved one. Good luck!
Cookie :)
Thank you for sharing this. I was particularly moved by the dreams, falling like leaves. Isn't that how memory returns sometimes? This story made me feel very blessed.
Tender, romantic, and bittersweet. Very moving. While reading, I had hoped that the lovers could be reuinited.
I couldn't stop reading. Such a short story, yet full of soo much emotion. Bravo for being able to write something so clear and beautiful.
if you have one, pass it NOW.
And here I thought you had a
really good imagination,
leading me into this strong thought
of story.... and the BOOM,
the bomb..
reality, brought forth the tears,
that have now been removed to
puddles.
-sGp-
STUPID SCORE KEEPER,
GGrrrrr, I forgot it was
there all ingrossed in the
story and tears..
so here ... have a 100.
AND ***** of these.
sGp
seemed to come through here. i dug the veiled concept. you worked that in really nice. overall a great read. the only halloween memory i have is of smashing pumpkins throughout the well to do neighborhood....*LOL*.
Your 'warning', while appropriate, seems irrelevant to the beautiful romance you portray in this story. Very Moving!
Sack,
I know you don't mind getting something beside "atta boy" comments. So while this story has earned all the praise that's come its way, I'm taking the liberty of passing along two writing thoughts.
IMHO you may have overused "had". As an exercise, you might go through and see how many could be omitted w/o harming the plot while picking up the pace.
Also, and again this is all, IMHO, the opening was a tad slow and confusing. I might be wrong or that may have been intentional. In either case, consider the source and ignore my comments.
Those two quibbles aside, You gave us a first-rate piece of imaginative, compelling writing. Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Rumple
...but I can't deny the quality of the work. Extremely well done with the aformentioned twist that really made it ring true. Bravo.
your bravery in exposing something so close to your heart in a beautiful story.
It was a bit confusing at first, maybe just one episode too many at the beginning. But nevertheless, a moving story.
Good luck.
Black Tulip
Very well done. It reminds me of another Haloween-fantasy I have read by the Tarheel Writer. Like one of the other reviewers said 'pass the tissues'! My sincere compliments.
Possibly your best story Sack, the ones that come from inside are often that way. Hope you are at peace with yourself.
I guess this isn't what I'd usually read, but it was very touching. You did a great job with the storyline..and the song, I'm glad you mentioned that in several places, which made the story even that more haunting. Good luck with the contest.
Kisses,
Ali
I agree with what many others have said - haunting and touching.
Those stories that bleed out of our own experiences are always the hardest to write and also usually the best. The emotion is there behind the words, and if it's genuine, it comes through. It comes through in this one.
Nicely done, and best of luck in the contest.
Actually, I liked this one better and I gave the other one a 5 already so I guess another is in order-very touching story
A riveting story and a sweet haunting homageā¦
I feel really privileged to have read this.
Emotional tale well told. The reader defintely 'feels' the writer's love and pain.
thanks