All Comments on 'Halloween with My Sisters'

Reading this story is like reading a tech manual, almost robotic in nature. Take some creative writing classes to have a more conversational and human tone.

People appear and disappear in the story and you change settings without explanation. This should have been in sci-if/fantasy or in the humor section because I could not stop laughing.

There were so many convoluted twists in the story, and the descriptions of anything sex-related seemed forced.

That is one of the wildest Halloween stories I have ever read . Thank you for the story it was different but enjoyable .

It was shit starting out of no where? Are you alright? I mean I think you should get some therapy. Some decent feelings about your siblings changes to a mass fuckfest?!!!!!!!!!!! Without any logic reason. You should write in fantasy or sci-fi section.

Whole family except maybe Wendy treated him like shit on his birthday. His sister called him a perv for looking at her topless??? is the whole world a perv EXCEPT emma?? anyone would fucking look. sissy is the fucking prev and they continue to humiliate him... the fucking later doesn't matter he has an awful family...

What the fuck was that? It started out interestingly enough and then swerved right off into the weeds, completly changing both the tone and the style of writing. Feels like something you snagged half-finished and then jammed in some hocus pocus on in order to give a "spooky" flavor?

5 stars. Halloween stories are supposed to be wierd!! And I don’t even like Halloween.

Your transition was a little ragged, but it was a fun read. Don't be troubled by the naysayers but do consider their valid issues. Thanks for the ride!

"Because I'm a crazy bastard that's why ha ha ha ha!" 😜😅

A bit different I liked it. Gave it 5 stars. I knew where it was headed still cool. And in regards to the naysayers. Haters gonna hate. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

Interesting. Different. You are an able story teller. I encourage you to continue. "They're" instead of their when called for... Just sayin'.... Peace and H H!

Very different, bit weird and confusing ,but fuck it. Five stars besides it's Halloween we need more weird for Halloween.

Do not let the Goblins upset you. Halloween is supposed to be weird, but you should still use spell check and proofread. A couple of times, I had to reread sentences to determine what you were trying to say. Homonyms can destroy a story when the wrong one is used too many times. I feel that if a reader will not set up an account and log in to leave feedback they must be ashamed to be here. Do not take their comments with too hard personal.

There are a lot of holes in the story. The magic is introduced very suddenly and without much explanation. As was the whole history around the relationship between the families. This was especially true regarding the party. It made the story and its flow very confusing at times.

That said, it was an interesting & unique story. With a little more development, this would be an excellent romp and a compelling tale. The staccato thoughts of the main character were funny at times. The rivalry between the families has a lot of promise if given more attention. I wish I was better at coming-up with unique plots like this. ;)

that is quite the halloween story definetly 5*****

I give two 🌟 if you make a part two where he has sex with mom give a five 🌟 on them.

W.T.F. LOL

I don't know if it's the sleep deprivation or if I actually read some of this story.

I'll get back to it later. Oh one thought that just came to me. Normally writing

in a stream of consciousness style is poor writing but I suppose it works with

this story since his mind is working as if he is under the influence of a mind

altering drug. The "forbidden" style helps to enhance the dream-like feel of

the story. So yeah, I gave it a four even tho I haven't finished it yet.

Cheers

This was painful to read..... Couldn't even make the 4th page.... Consider getting someone to read the next one before you submit it

If this is the evaluation of the residence and the residents: Nice hardwood floors throughout this old house. It's really an odd mixture, a beautiful old house, and it's wasted on a bunch of young rowdy frat boys. How do you evaluate this kid: I am wearing my High School baseball uniform with CLEATS. (On nice hard wood floors?) Of course, the "protect the kiddies" group may have forced schools to ban the use of cleats in use when I played in the '50s.

Well that went in a weird direction. What is this voice in my head, mind control weird. Not five minutes later I am a master wizard and will fight all bad men... right sure

The English is technically correct by socially wrong. I kept getting lost and loosing immersion because of turns of phrase I had to parse. keep writing!

J

' Slowly, it sheathes in her like a sword in a scabbard, a perfect fit. I glide into her body until I hit the barrier. I stop. '

Rofl!! This is hilarious! The author writes about the sister giving him a hard time about being sexually uneducated and not using the internet to learn, yet the author didn't take a page from the same book and learn where the hymen is, lol!! How can you write about something and not bother to get it right? ;)

' Somehow, she knows to use her tongue on my cock and she spends a bit of time on the soft spot where the circumcision was performed. '

Heh, 'somehow?' Lol, well duh! Of course she used her tongue! After the initial shock of 'I'm really sucking a cock for the first time!' wears off, it's only natural to use your tongue! That would be like going down on a girl but not using your tongue, lol!

...and what's up with the whole whole under the head of the cock thing? It's no more sensitive on me than anywhere else on my shaft, lol. I guess guys differ, but sometimes I think authors just copy what they see others write. Heh.

' Emma complains, "I have sperm mouth, and it's your sperm. You can't kiss me." '

...so if it was another guy's then I could/should? Hehehe!

I actually liked the story until it went off the rails. At first I thought the main character was hallucinating but it continues to the end. Not even worth one star.

I say it was fun, loved the fantastical spin on it keep it up

Sorry, you probably don’t care, but I found this story utterly confusing and weird.

Dude you need to improve your writing a lot. It's all very jumbled and disconnected and doesn't really make much sense. If you want to write good incest stories read some stuff from pros like Xarth and PacoFear. This is not to discourage you but you should make an effort to improve.

I almost stopped reading after 1st page, I wish I did, this made no sense, was totally confused trying to follow this.as you were jumping all over the place, was a total waste of my time, give the readers a break and don't write anymore like this. one star.

Reading some of the comments saying they couldn't follow, that the story jumped all over the place is kinda funny... i had non problem following it. Its fantastical and silly and just plain fun.

Keep up the good work!!

Another winning tale, I'll admit it was very odd but also very satisfying. I was surprised by the revelation that his father participated in the parties and allowed them to use his wife.

Don't listen to the downers. You write a great story even if it didn't have good sex. but it does have good sex. lay on McDuff and woe to him that says enough.

Took a while to figure out what the hell was going on but it was very enjoyable in the end.

Rapier

Loser!!

I don't see why so e people couldn't follow the story I followed along just fine and had no problem understanding what was going on. As a matter of fact I loved this story not only was there hot sex but a really interesting plot I especially lov d the magic. Please turn this one into a series it was really good and I really want to see what happens next

Interesting story though a continuation would be great to see what happened later i.e. if any got pregnant and what backlash the other family got and any attempted retaliation

And then degenerated into a 12 year old boy's fantasy. Hell, a 12 year old would have a better imagination. I was waiting for the Power Rangers to appear. Just like a child, subtlety is lost on you. "I want all the magic in the world and I want to have the biggest dick in the world and I want to fuck all the women in the world and I want all the boys to be afraid of me and I want pizza for dinner every night and I want no homework ever. Also I want a new bike. So there! "

Good story. Would like to see its continuation.

It's a beautiful tale.

A little illogical.

But again " I glide into her body until I hit the barrier. ", "I use two fingers to stimulate the walls of her pussy while", "I reach an impasse, someone placed a barrier in my way."

Where did that come from?

Haven't any of the writers ever fucked a virgin before? I get it: Emancipation, feminism, Tampax, dildos, etc.

But fuckin' read Wikipedia then.

What a hymen looks like and where it's located. Good thing it's not on your forehead.

That's a very good story.

Who wants deep meaning and philosophical treatises, go to the Library of Congress. It's a criticism and porn site. ;)

Ok it wasn't bad a little to far fetched towards the end need to work on that

Excellent und TRIPPY as 4Q!

11/10!!!!!

First page is good. Then it just becomes rambling crap. Not worth the time wasted reading the amount I did

This was the stupidest boring least sex arousing story I have ever read in my life I hope you f****** never write another one yours truly the wizard dick

Should have read the commnets first and not waste my time reading some of this noncoherent ramblings that ended up being non-erotic overall........ pathetic......

Not to bad. But should have stayed off talking about magic and such. Doing it in like that just made the whole thing confusing