All Comments on 'He Never Noticed'

At least that's what I remember, but I guess my choice was overridden. Apparently three romances that end badly but no marriage makes it a Romance and ineligible for LW. That's too bad. I was hoping for a lot of comments, otherwise how will I ever learn?

What a sad, depressing story! A man ain't got a chance.

What a sad, depressing story! A man ain't got a chance.

Maybe too real, but still great! A little sex would not hurt, but it is YOUR story and your right.

I might think of this story the next time I'm having sex so I'll last longer.

I read your lengthy foreword, took your advice and moved on to the next story.

Thank you, but why do you not just quit while you are behind?

The writing style kept me feeling detached from the main character. Perhaps it was the minimal dialogue. Parts of it felt like I was reading a summary of events. I take some comfort that Miryam's marriage was endogamous, rather than something officiated at by a Buddhist priest.

The intro was first class, though.

I agree with you, this should have been in LW.

The ending was rushed and unsupported by the story up to that point. Needed more development after the letter. 3* is the best I can do.

I’m a fan of long author’s notes in my own non-erotic writing so I read your entire note. We can’t say you didn’t warn us.

Two minor errors were noted near the beginning:

((...with young woman [women].))

((...he said [he] did.))

The story was a good romance, but I must admit to preferring a happy ending (though not necessarily in the erotic meaning). We see his development as he meets the young ladies, falls in love, and deals with the aftermath. The result of Strike Three was quite disappointing. Some give up and never try again, but the change that came over him was harder to believe and contributed to the depressing ending. 4/5*.

Hope this helps and best wishes with your writing.

A bit of 20th century nihilism - life sucks and then you die. Kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest. Social Darwinism. Live and Let Die. Happily never after. I get it. Definitely not Wesley and Buttercup.

Provocative experiment. Entertaining. Thanks

but a good read.

The title says it all for me.

Burninglove

This should be in nonerotic.

Although I agree it would have had more input and judgement from the commentariat had it been accepted in the Loving Wives category.

I found it, as others have said, rather dismal and a difficult read. But a worthy attempt at something different. Decidedly something that should be encouraged.

I'm not sure whether I am recalling the same episode some time back, but I too became involved in a similar contretemps regarding page breaks and line lengths to the one you mentioned in your intro.

I also recall one of the highly-regarded writers here expressing an opposing view. As you say: 'In case I didn't understand just how wrong I was, the writer concluded by calling my concern about page breaks "your bizarre fetish." '

Ah well, perhaps we should put it in the Fetishes section of our biographical notes.

Lue

to save the butterflys in Brazil. TK U MLJ LV NV

You write beautifully. This is terribly sad.

CP

Sorry, but I could not find a definition in and dictionary.

What does it mean ?

HP

How is this ROMANCE? This belongs in LW.

I am glad to have read this - it made me think. Thank you

Went to your bio page to see what else you have written, read story descriptions and realized there was a strong vibe through the verious stories that this is what you like to write. Some authors like the protagonist to be the super secret ninja, the ex covert military itelligence operative his wife never had a clue of, you I get the strong impression like the poor sad sack that always gets kicked in the balls and just says OH WELL like Eore the fucking donkey from Whinny the poo. 2 stars since the words seemed spelled correctly.

Why bother writing this.

Terrible....depressing doesn't cover it....1 star...not romantic or erotic

A Treat

Something I would write. Women are evil, destroy men and everyone wonders why some of us lash out, do despicable things. Being nice to anyone is the first step to a disappointment. Trusting women makes you even more at risk. Bitches,

And unromantic.

Why is this in romance? Non erotic seems better place. Another story of someone with developmental problems, not sure about the empath bullshit. He just has trouble dealing with people and situations. He cannot give to others which is why the girls leave him.

Much better alone as any partner would feel lonely anyway and look for a true relationship elsewhere.

in such a depressing way. It takes the "nice guys finish last" cliche to new lengths. But women want a guy with some umph, not a permanent doormat, that's the way it is. He could have ended up the cuckold in a bunch of Literotica stories.

I favourited it because it was engagingly written, it held the attention; actually I thought he was about to commit suicide after the last rejection, the way his journey was described.

wrong category and pretty pathetic mc.

"Women are cunts"

My fellow anonymous wrote, and then proceeded to declare that they cannot be trusted. I am sorry you feel that way, and I know that at least one woman has hurt you badly. Probably more than one.

The truth is that SOME women are cunts. Just like some Asians, some homosexuals, and yes, some men. That we humans tend to apply the behaviors of individuals to a group they belong to in our minds is a function of our minds. A function that helps us understand and deal with a world that is too big and too complex for anyone to truly grasp. But in this case, it is a trap.

Just as there are bad individuals in any demographic, there are good people, too. In every single demographic.

Judging individuals by the expectations that you have put on the group, that you have chosen to associate them with, in your own mind, will only make you miserable and poor. You will miss out on life.

Another thing to consider: If every relationship you engage in, the other party turns to be a cunt, what is the one constant? You are. Time to look at you. Time to examine your own behaviors to try and find out what might be causing you trouble. After all, your own behavior is the only thing you can change. Could there be something in the way you select women that isn't healthy? Could there be something in the way you interact with those women that bring out the worst in them? Or something else?

One thing is for sure: When you notice persistent patterns in your life, you play a role in them. It is not about fault, only about realization.

In case you are wondering, I am a man who was hurt by women. Distrusted them for decades, and probably still do to some extent. But I never tell into the trap of thinking they are all alike, not for very long, anyway. And I am glad I didn't, because now I have proof that they are not. Some women are absolutely beautiful and lovely and trustworthy. Many seem immature and selfish to me, but that is also true about men.

I hope you find your way, fellow human!

I have to agree that in my 74 years I have yet to meet a woman that didn't turn out to be a cunt. Kudos to all the nice guys. WE can hold our heads up high because we are not assholes and jerks. FIVE*****

Reminds me the Bob Seger classic, Beautiful Loser.

I have dealt with “cunt” women all my life (>60 years). I remember being “used” by high school female classmates to help them in math and physics. I spent a lot my personal time helping these bitches and for what? NOTHING! Afterwards they would not even talk to me at lunch or if I saw them on the street with their girlfriends. They would laugh at me and walk away. If I tried to date any other girls, they would these cunts would telling them I was a loser. Commenter 3/31/20 Anonymous states that it was MY fault! What bullshit! I just acted like a nice guy and was always shit on by these cunts! I final determined that “Cunts” love to walk on people like me. I luckily met my wife (>40 years). But I still met more cunts at work and during casual interaction. The first two women he met were cunts but Miryam was something else which was out of his control. It is unfortunate that he never did meet a nice girl!

This story is cripplingly sad, and it's also unrealistic. Your writing style is good but the depressing tone doesn't wring true. Yes, love is sometimes not in our control; but this level of negativity is not realistic. Its nihilistic.

Literally. No lesson, no excitement, no love. Nothing there. Like eating something with no taste and no texture.

Honestly, one of the worst stories on Lit. I couldn't get angry, sad, elated, or feel any emotion. Time completely wasted. I hate cuck stories, but this wasn't even one of those. At least then I'd have come away angry. As it is, I just want the time back so I can go mow the lawn, or dust, or do something that isn't a total waste of time.

Damn man! This story was great, that is my opinion regardless of the naysayers. Wow!

What a Jewish Bitch! Miryam killed his soul! I hope Ari screws Miryam so she has a child then leaves the bitch on her ass!

I like the story, but a little sad for the man. What bad life. AAA++

Well fuck. That was depressing.

So sad. Just.... soooo sad. Very well written... just not a quick pick me up. Thanks

"Nice guys finish last" is a well-worn cliche, but it doesn't become a cliche without some element of truth. The question is, why is this in the Romance section? It belongs in Loving Wives.

Heartbreaking

Can't read anymore of this author's stuff. What's the point?

Amazing story!

* * * * *

Thanks for writing.

I agree with Frank66. What was the point? Trying to reinforce the "Good guys finish last" trope? That story sucks. 😕

Really shitty story with no point!

A very sad seemingly meaningless tale. I think the author must have a broken heart.

Disgusting author …I think u got ducked in life..So ur using ur story to try and fuck readers! What an asshole ur! May u die without peace!

This is the most useless and disappointing stories I’ve ever read.

Was wondering if you’d be interested in doing an alternate version of events for this story?

Either 1) Miryam reaches out to him to see how he’s doing and learns of the life he’s been living, 2) Her ex actually died and she never left, or 3) she loves him too much to leave him and so she waits until he comes back to tell him and the three of them meet and agree to be in a poly relationship where she is with both of them so everybody’s happy. I know the last one is a bit unrealistic, but I like that one the most.

Of course, it’s your story to do as you please.

How sad! And he never actually full penetration. On the bright side his driving skills must have been much improved since he took up aggressive driving and still lived to 89. The lesson was well taken. Paid companions are not only less bother but are far cheaper in the end than 50/50ing it after a divorce. As for not being noticed, well he wasn't there to notice that nobody noticed, so did it really matter?

Admittedly, all women aren't cunts, but ask yourself; is it worth the effort to sort them out? For the MC it seems the third time put him wise to how he would in future answer that question. 5 stars for a well told story about a nice guy who finishes last.

Just too damn sad and his former girlfriend was an evil bitch. I've been an Israeli supporter for years, even helped them in th 73 war but I hope the Arabs blew her godamn kibbutz to hell.