All Comments on 'Head Above Water Pt. 01'

A wonderful start and so different in style from Renascence. As a practising fuss-budget, I loved the detail (I almost expected to have the avocado labeled Hass or Shepherd) and I will on this occasion forgive the surplus H in Aston Martin.

I now have two things to look forward to - further chapters of this and the ending of Renascence. Wonderful.

Lue

Very nice. Looking forward to the next chapter, very much. Your usual logomancy. More, please. Five stars, of course. Thanks for posting, Randi.

'The avocado sat next to his hand. He was lovingly stroking it. Weirdo.' Sentences like this make your stories the best :D I couldn't help but smile through the whole conversation :3

I love how your build his character in this story, how you casually drop information on him without it being just a big chunk of description

Celine is a really fascinating person :) I think she's like an onion with layers like in the first shrek movie :D You have to peel them away and below each layer there's more to discover and it gets more and more interesting!

Ugh, and I forgot about the creepy David guy D:

-Laura

Compelling story well told. I can’t believe how you drew me in with the banter between these two odd, but lovable characters. You turned simple scenes into unusually heartwarming encounters. Thanks for sharing your talents.

The story was very well done and your writing skills are fantastic.

Masterful, deeply sensitive writing. No detail beyond what could really happen.

Both characters very lovable. I loved it. Thank you.

Wow, only your second story and it's already got me hooked. Your work is truly outstanding and I'm more than a bit jealous of your talent and the time you have to write. Keep them coming, please?

Wow, thank you so much to everyone that's commented. I'm so humbled by your kind words. I'm so very glad that you all enjoyed this first part of the series. The second will be submitted as soon as it's been looked over by me and my beta. It's spent a few years sitting in my saved files so the writing isn't the best, but I will try to spruce it up.

Cheers,

Nora

D*** you can write! A fantastic story, beautifully evocative. It draws you in right from the get-go and doesn't let up. I can't wait to read more.

Absolutely brilliant writing, I am so looking forward to the next part.

I can't wait for Part 2, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

As an avid romance reader it's lovely to have a protagonist who is a badass, kickass brown woman. Love love love it.

Love the conversation. The quick wit. The god damn emotion has got me cryin in the club. Jesus.

Gosh, you really have a talent for writing. I really love love love the characters. This story made me all warm and fuzzy. Please keep writing!

More! Please more!

Great writing, well developed characters, tremendous flow that made want to keep reading. Great job, on to chapter two now!

to make your characters different, but real. Your dialogue is a pleasure to read and the story flows beautifully. I very much enjoyed this story. I will be reading other works of yours. Thanks so much for the hard work for us readers. It is greatly appreciated.

I don't get over to Romance often enough, I have to thank Randi for mentioning this.

Looking forward to Pt 2!

There's real talent here.

I’m not a literary expert, but I know what I like, I really enjoy your writing Nora, I hope you keep writing, and give us dozens and dozens of your stories.

Thank you K.S.

Right from the start, this was a fully immersive story. It just pulled me in and wouldn’t let go. The characters felt like real people with real flaws and the world seemed lived in. The details were enough to add verisimilitude but not enough to overburden and swamp the reader.

I’m so glad you were recommended to me as a writer.

Damn. That just grabbed me and pulled me in. I found myself talking to Celine 'don't! He's gonna play you.' 'Damnit, Celine, be careful! '

You've given us an excellent story, and I thank you for it (and Bebop3 for pointing me to it).

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Written with understated intelligence and emotion. A high level of literary skill. What a terrific suprise

Her writing drew me in in short order. She tells a story that is in many ways serious in a light humorous way. I really love it so far. Can't wait to read the rest.

I have read many of the better rated authors, and I have to say, Nora, your skill and gift is superb! Your storyline and writing style are seamless, real and believable, such a delight to absorb.

This is the second of your stories that I have read, and I consider myself fortunate to have stumbled upon them.

Thank you for your creations.

Nora is truly a very fine writer.

"We walked together, his skin that golden tan, and mine the color of deep caramel, two hands of two different shades, blending together until I swear I could see the colors bleeding, until there was nothing that was him that wasn't me, and nothing that was me that wasn't him."

I was reading Bebop3 and he recommended this story. I'd read it previously, although I think that was before the additional chapters. Keep writing.

I'm gonna have to go thank Bebop3 for recommending you.

Excellent 👍

The writing is indeed not bad at all, but the constant bickering is getting on my nerves. And I really don't like the interracial aspect of the story. Nothing against "People of Color", but I just don't believe anybody is served when you mix white and black. So I'll quit while I'm not too badly behind. 3*

Well, I have to hand it to you, Overcritical. Most racist fucks try to hide the fact that they are idiots who are decades beyond their sell-by date. Hopefully you and the rest of your inbred ilk will die off soon and leave the world a better place.

.

Do me a favor? Don't read or comment on any of my stories. The possibility that I'm providing entertainment for a piece of shit like you skeeves me out.

.

"And I really don't like the interracial aspect of the story. Nothing against "People of Color", but I just don't believe anybody is served when you mix white and black."

@Overcritical, "I'm Under Water."

If only you could assure us that this is true. Let me assure you, "People of Color" have nothing against you, as well. The thought of being "against" you is quite repulsive to us. Ew. Hopefully, you will not be "mixed" with anything. Bound to be an unattractive "mix." How repulsive a human you are, sir. Your enlightened racism must play so well for you in your daily life. I would invite you to suck my dick, but had I an actual dick, you might enjoy that too much. You may suck my spirit dick. Randi.

That's what I am. T found nothing in there that didn't make sense given the personalities you've created. The amazing thing was it's probably 90% dialogue. For me at least, that's amazing. Fascinating people.

It's like a romantic comedy from the golden age of Hollywood, with Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracey exchanging endearing barbs, except updated for modern times. Loved this unreservedly!

Just WOW I read this site almost daily and this is the best one in forever! The dialog between them is fantastic. Thank you so much. BTW dinner was delayed by 15 minutes as I would not stop reading until the end of this chapter.

for lovely writing. Your characters are quirky enough to be real people.

And for Overcritical... many decades ago I was honored to know a special older

lady in northern Spain. She was elegant even in a well worn house dress, cooking for a large family. She never used crude language, but made her displeasure known when speaking of unsavory persons. She had one expression that still makes me smile: "¡Hijo de parentesco variado!" That was normally reserved for Franco and his secuaces, but I trust she wouldn't have minded my extending it to you.

It still makes me smile as the romance progress'. Th dialogue is great, the burning embers remind me of my wife of 40 years and the first time I laid eyes on her, the loss has left a big hole, but great romance and writing.

I'm going to do something I've never done on this site before, ever: I'm going to save part 2 for tomorrow, because I know I'll be a sad panda once I'm through the whole thing and I can't have that before I go to bed today (even if I'm really, really tempted right now). I'm also saving feedback for after I've read everything - "feedback" being code for "lavish praise", more likely than not, but maybe I'll find a wrong comma somewhere. Just one thing right now: The way you write dialogue is a pure joy - everything about them is breathless, exhilarating and really funny. Amazing first chapter!

You’re amazing!

Overcritical, that is, not Wes. I’d like to do a DNA analysis on him to see how much of him is Neanderthal because we should not be mixing Homo sapiens with Neanderthals now, should we?

Damn, I'm worried. Cannot recall if I read this before, but a new chapter was added recently. Doubly worried because I love avocado on salads and sandwiches. Definitely not a millenial though. Hadn't realised eating these was destroying the economy though. Damn, that's huge!

Lovely story. Don’t regard the asinine comments. Some people cover beauty with mud just so the shine stops bothering them. Keep it going!

Found it a little difficult to follow initially but then once I'd got my head round the writing style it began to flow and I'm eager to move on. Shame about Overcritical's comment but at least you've left it up and others have reacted accordingly.

Definitely 5 stars.

i panned the first one i read - my wife calls me a grammar nazi...don´t recall the title...

loved this one. found no issues, enjoyed it.

not going to read comments...don´t want to read about vague

¨character development¨ again.

late here, and good scotch.

Great story once you get into it.

OK I’m scaring myself. I actually enjoyed this

Great story. Deep characters. Cried.

You're better than any comedian I have ever seen. "What?" A great comedy leads the viewer through the entire range of emotions. Fear, invincibility, joy, pain, and everything in between. You just trumped that for me.

Hot d**m!! A Hispanic woman that's a call-center supervisor and an in-residency doctor? What a perfect (but heretofore unthought of) combination--albeit unlikely--until they start talking, of course. I don't think I've laughed SO MUCH from the back-and-forth of any couple in any story this much...ever! Wes is such a sniping, witty guy and Celine Gutiérrez is such a hardened woman from her foster experience that it is nothing short of BEAUTIFUL to see him chipping away at that hard shell each time and now, getting in. I would have never believed having words over lost keys at the farmer's market and avocados would EVER constitute this kind of story.

I'm over the moon with how much wit and backhanded humor you packed this with. It flows, it feels natural and as Wes would say, "it feels right." The odd thing is that BOTH of them were "drowning," but both are now treading water just fine with each other's help--and even walking on it at times.

Structurally, you really sell the dialogue by knowing when to use long, medium and short content to heighten the impact of the words and to otherwise drive home the feeling; you capitalize on all of it well, and I cannot (unless I were nitpicking) find a single thing that detracted from your story, the flow, nor especially the feelings you conveyed. HOW in the HELL did I not read this sooner???

Do you have to ask the score? Oh hell...why not?!?? 5!!

beautifully written

Great story - depth and buildup. Looking forward to reading the next chapter!

There IS a sequel right?

Beautiful story and so well crafted. I'm really envious of your writing ability! The two characters seem absolutely believable.

Would love to see this movie! Man, do you write wonderful dialogue!

He had me screamin!!!!! I don't know that I have ever read a story this good from the very first chapter. Knowing my @ss should be sleep, but this story grabbed me before I could lay down. I like both characters and I will try and sleep and start again when I wake up. I am just looking forward to the next chapter. Absolutely Amazing!

Wonderful. Tingles, butterflies and laughter. Those 2 are adorable.

Loved your writing. So good.

Damn you write a good story

Rock meets scissors is a strange premise for a romance, but damn, it works wonderfully!

You're so good, it's ridiculous that I bother to read anything else.

Nora are you published dear? If so can you send me the email to purchase your books please? Thank you

Jealous. I am. Of you. A python of a story: slides stealthily through words then suddenly it's all round you and squeezing you hard. I like being squeezed. To say well done would be presumptuous, so just 'thank you'.

Damn, that was intense. Just so you know, you fanned this guys fire.

Damn that was wonderful, you’ve got me hooked! Can’t wait to read the rest!

Whew, you have a way of stringing the words together in such an engaging and flowing way. It touches me deep down in my soul...!

Wow, just wow!

Where can I find a guy like Wes?! 😭 ❤️

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Love ❤️💕💕

Excellent, love the dialogue. Fresh and original

You are an amazing writer!

This was absolutely fantastic writing! You are definitely worthy of being published!

This story is a sight for sore eyes. I liked the well-researched and believable characters. Their conversation is fluid and witty and it fits the characters well. In general, reading (and writing) fiction is enjoyable, because it lets you experience the lives of other people: their worldview, their feelings, their adventures. This text, even though its premise looks very banal - a man and a woman meet, instantly like each other and meet for a date - actually feels like an adventure. You get to experience interesting characters, you are caught in their conversation and start taking sides. It is easy to suspend the disbelief even for a very demanding reader like me. Now, there is a number of aspects in this story where I could see some room for improvement. I do not wish to kill the mood by writing criticisms here. If the author would like to get some critical feedback, please let me know - I'll send it privately.

First time I read this I stayed up past my bedtime to finish and so skipped the comments. It was just as marvelous this time, but (for better or worse) I read all the comments. I can't believe that Overcritical—who had already revealed that his name was a flaming understatement—was stupid enough to flaunt his repulsive racism, which is also massively ignorant because Celine isn't black. I went back to read the last few grafs to take the bad taste out of my mouth. Nora, you're our undeserved gift, a prize we didn't even know we qualified for.

As expected, your descriptive prose and your dialogue is exceptional. You never disappoint. 5*

Well done.

Brilliant use of dialogue that allows the reader to know the substance of the characters through observation. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

So I am not a psychologist and I have never read Jung, but I am an empath, and my own life and I have fought each other to a draw thus far, so I have earned some insight.

There is only one way an author writes as well as you do about our battles with our own emotions. There is only one way an author can genuinely describe our struggles against our own self-perception. You have been there. In fact, I would propose that parts of you are still emerging with the scent of singed psyche lingering in your wake.

There are clues in the similarities of your different stories. There is a consistency of tone that whispers your secrets.

Your protagonists are your avatars of who you have been, who you are becoming, and who helped you dare to yearn.

I am cheering for them, and for you. And for every reader who can relate to them because they have been there, or are still there to any extent.

Your stories inspire hope, without which literally nothing good happens, because nothing really matters.

Thank you.

Fucking wow! great repartee b/w the two cold fishes. thanks for sharing, this was funny and v good. rk

Defensive armour/amore. Squirrelly flirty, alot of biting, scratches and chasing. Sharp verbal fencing and mutual admiration. (Almost like British wit?)

Hope on the horizon? (Brad Pitt and Angelina, or George Clooney and Julia?)

Dueling defensive minds. (Burton vs Taylor, 'who's afraid of Virginia Wolf?) ( Russell Crow vs Emily Blount?)