Heatstroked

I didn't start with the pregnancy scare. I didn't even start at the beginning of the summer. I backtracked to when I was just a fat fourteen year old outcast labeled with a learning disability and first learned to swim. And first saw a cute lifeguard.

Even Jan stopped interrupting and looked thoughtful when I pointed out I hadn't been a choice when Becki first spent time with me the second summer. I'd been a lack of options. There was no one else to alleviate Becki's boredom.

At that point, I pulled out the letters she'd written me. I didn't have the ones I'd written to Becki, but I recalled them as best I could. As Mom and Jan looked over the letters, I rifled through the pictures until I found the one I thought had come with the letter and then described what I had cut away. Who else had been in the picture with Becki. What they had been doing.

When we reached the short responses she'd sent me after she'd been injured, and I showed them the pictures she'd sent, I circled back around and pointed to them as further proof I still wasn't a choice. I was still a lack of options.

"I'm not sure that's fair, little brother," Jan said. "You'd been nice to her. That counts for a lot."

"Where are her friends?" I asked. "Why doesn't she mention them anymore? Why weren't they in the pictures with her like they had been?"

Mom and Jan shared a troubled look, but I pressed on before they could stop me.

I described the way Becki had acted over the summer. When it came to sex, I didn't pull any punches. I didn't go into detailed descriptions, but I made sure to point out that a) Becki had decided when and where we would do what and b) Becki had enough experience with someone else to know what she liked and what she didn't.

"You tell me," I said. "Did she have sex with me because she wanted to have sex with me? Or because she was horny and I was the only one available? But, wait. Don't answer yet."

I skated over our pregnancy scare. Partly because it wasn't any more relevant than any other piece of the puzzle. Partly because I could see Jan getting ready to leap on it with both feet. Instead, I focused on how Becki had avoided me in the days after our fight until finally I got to walking in on the scene at the pool that morning with all six of her friends from California.

"Wait. Chaz?" Jan quickly sorted through the pile of letters until she found the first one Becki had ever written me. "This Chaz?"

"That Chaz," I nodded.

I sat quietly as Jan reread the letter in question with her brow furrowed.

"You know," Jan said as she handed the letter in question to Mom, "Becki doesn't actually say Chaz was her boyfriend. And I'm not sure she talks about him like one either."

"Who did she have sex with enough to know what she likes and what she doesn't?" I asked with my hands spread wide. "When did she have it?"

I watched Mom and Jan do the math and come to the same conclusion I had. Just before either could say anything, I interrupted one last time.

"Where is she?" I asked quietly. "She knows where I live. She's written letters to me at this address. She's been here in person a few times this summer."

"She can't drive," Jan said.

"And neither Willard nor Eunice would be willing to bring her here?" I asked. "Her friends wouldn't be willing to? Chaz wouldn't be willing to? Or has she not asked?"

"So, you two were never actually engaged?" Mom asked after a moment.

"Technically, no. She made it perfectly clear there was never going to be a wedding."

"And my ring?"

"Well, I didn't ever get a class ring," I smiled. "You know they-"

"-are a waste of money," Mom and Jan finished with me.

"So, I guess it was sort of like 'going steady'. Where the guy gives the girl his class ring to wear."

"And gets it back when they break up," Mom said. "Are you going to get it back?"

"I don't know yet, Mom. I don't know whether we are broken up. I don't know if we were ever really together."

"Do you still love her, son?"

"I don't know that either. I don't know if I ever really did, or if I just wanted to believe I did. I'm not sure I ever even saw the real her through the image I'd built of her in my head. Maybe all I ever loved was a heat mirage. I guess we'll know if she shows up here before I have to start to school."

Mom seemed to sense I was done talking about Becki and steered the conversation to college and what I'd gone through trying to get in. She got up and wandered back to her room to root out my SAT results I hadn't cared enough to keep up with.

"I'm sorry, little bro. But, I still think you're being a bit of a dick not to give her a chance to explain."

"I'm not stopping her from coming here to do so," I said. "Are you?"

"You're the man. You're supposed to go to her."

"I think I've been the one going to her enough. If she's not willing to come to me, even this once, then what kind of partnership could we ever have?"

Jan was quiet and thoughtful after that. Or maybe she didn't want to say anything else in front of Mom and needed a Midol on top of it.

We could see pre-dawn twilight when we wound down, yawning, and sought our respective beds.

--15Aug87--

"In here?"

I blinked awake to a voice and my door opening. It wasn't Becki coming into my room. Nor was it Willard or Eunice. Any of those would have been bad enough. It was worse. It was much worse.

It was Emma.

"Aww," Emma said as I raised my head and looked at her. "In the story, Sleeping Beauty can only be awakened by a kiss. I feel a little short changed."

"Time is it?" I mumbled blinking blearily at my clock.

"Em?" Jan's voice asked from the other end of the hallway. "What are you doing here?"

"I came looking for you, sweet pea. You and beefcake here. Why aren't you both out at the country club? There are a bunch of people out there looking for you two."

"For me?" Jan asked. "Why me?"

"Because you're supposed to be out there running your beauty shop again like you did last weekend. And this handsome hunk of man meat is supposed to be sitting out beside the pool with a whistle around his neck."

"I never said that was a weekly thing," Jan said.

"I know. I did that for you."

God, I wished they would close my door and have the conversation without me. According to my clock, I'd only had four to five hours of sleep. I made the mistake of closing my eyes and trying to ignore them.

Firm lips pressed against mine. Tits so firm they were hard shoved against my chest. I blinked my eyes open again to see Emma half on top of me, pulling back from kissing me with a Cheshire grin.

"Get off my son, you hussy," Mom's voice said humorously.

"Only if he gets up, so we can talk," Emma said, turning her head towards the door. "If a kiss won't do the job, I'm more than prepared to get more radical."

"Ugh! Em, no!"

"You'd better get up, John. I think she means it."

I knew she did since I felt a firm hand wrap around my dick over the sheet covering me.

"I'm up! I'm up." I pushed Emma's hand away and sat up, running right into her lips once more.

"Mmm," Emma said as she pulled away with another smile. "I'll be back for more once you brush your teeth."

I hit the bathroom long enough to take a leak. I didn't brush my teeth. I was afraid of what might happen if I did.

When I came into the dining room, Emma was just pulling back from giving Jan a kiss. Jan seemed to enjoy it rather more than I had.

Emma sat at one end of our dining room table with Mom and Jan on one side. Rather than taking the other side, I walked to the far end and sat with my back to our picture window to keep the entire length of the table between us. Emma arched one dark eyebrow and the left corner of her mouth twitched up.

"All right," Emma said. "Fill Auntie Em in on what's going on. Why aren't you two out doing your jobs?"

"I don't actually work there," Jan said, troubled. "I was just out there to see John and you pulled me into helping with James-"

"Jane, dear," Emma interrupted. "She thinks of herself as a woman. And she had her name legally changed to Jane."

"Jane, then," Jan said. "I was just helping you with Jane and the next thing I knew everything kind of blew up from there. I wouldn't have gone back Sunday, but we ran out of time on Saturday and so many people asked me to come back out and do them. I didn't know I was expected out there this weekend. Nobody told me. And I'm not sure it would matter since John doesn't work there anymore."

"I see," Emma said, spearing me with a look. "And why do you not work there anymore, John?"

"I'm not sure I see that it's any of your business, Emma."

"But, it is," Emma said. "I work for you. And I have plans in the works to help build the business. I need to know if I need to cancel, alter, or go ahead with those plans."

"Huh? What do you mean, you work for me?"

"Your mother approached me because you needed help helping Willard and Eunice and Becki. I took the gig to help you because you are your mother's son. Frankly, I like the old couple and their granddaughter, but this is mostly a loss for me. If you are no longer involved, it might be time for me to cut my losses."

"I have some money," I said slowly. "I can pay you."

"It's not about money, John," Emma said softly but very intently. "There are lots of things more important than money. Money is just another tool to get what we are really after."

"And what are you after?" I asked.

"That's not important," Emma said. "What is important is you and I were able to work together to get what we each wanted. Now, I'm not so sure that's possible without knowing just why you are pulling your involvement."

It was a bit scary, actually. Emma was sitting at our dining room table wearing nothing but her bikini. She'd kissed me and my sister and felt me up while I was still in bed. She looked, and usually acted, like a wet dream straight out of Hollywood. Yet, now she was acting like she should have been in a business suit and presenting before a judge, or maybe congress.

Without knowing quite why, I ran through the short version of my issues with Becki. But, even a much encapsulated version took a long time. The sun was hanging low enough to shine through the window behind me into Emma's eyes by the time I was done.

"All right," Emma said when I wound down. "Is that everything?"

I didn't quite know why, but I felt compelled to add the one thing I hadn't even told Mom and Jan. I bit my lip and looked guiltily at them for a moment.

"I caused my father's death chasing Becki," I blurted.

"What?!"

"John!"

Emma just smiled at me and nodded.

"Now, I understand," she said. "All right. Are you guys up to company tomorrow? I can redirect the people wanting to see Jan here instead. You do still want to dress hair, nails, and make-up, sweat pea?"

"Well, sure," Jan said doubtfully. "I was kind of thinking about heading to California next month though."

"It's your call," Emma shrugged. "I can find someone else, if you'd prefer. Or you can make a little cash and build your reputation while you're deciding."

"All right, then. Sure," Jan said. "Send them ahead."

"John, I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do for you. But, as of now, I'm suspending my efforts to steer business out to the country club."

"Will it hurt Willard and Eunice?"

"No," Emma said. "If they can keep what they have, they'll be better off than they were before we got involved. The only question would be if they could keep it. I'll even go so far as to promise I won't take a client in direct competition with them for, say, three years."

"Ok," I shrugged.

"All right," Emma said. "Then I've got to hit the road. I need to get with my people and get things in motion. You three, eat something and go back to bed. I've got a feeling you'll be up before you want to be tomorrow. Oh, and John?"

"Yes?"

"It's up to you, but you may want to be elsewhere tomorrow unless you want to be walking around like you are now serving drinks."

For some reason, that cracked Mom and Jan up.

--16Aug87--

I lasted fifteen minutes before I made a break for it. It wasn't a tough decision.

Jane Phillips brought out four friends. Emma was back and brought six women that looked like they'd stopped by on their way to their Playboy pictorial. Mom was outside running the "garbage sale" while Jan was inside doing things I didn't see the point of to women who were eyeballing me and giggling from the time I woke up and wandered in for something to eat. After Emma walked up behind me and ran her hands under the shirt I'd pulled on while nipping my earlobe, I'd had enough.

Outside wasn't much better. Not only were there more women outside looking over the stuff we didn't want anymore and talking and laughing with Mom, but it was already getting warmer than was good for me.

I slung my leg over my bike and took off.

I took off, but I didn't really know where to go.

I suppose it's only natural that I made my way out the direction of the country club. There were more cars than could be parked in our... their little gravel parking lot even without the six crotch rockets lined up along the front. I could hear loud laughter from the pool enclosure even over my engine and wind noise. I heard a shrill whistle blast as I roared past.

I couldn't go there. Even if I would still be welcome, which I doubted, I couldn't watch Becki with her California dream boats.

I meandered my way on out to Heckville before stopping to take stock. No one lived out there. The few buildings were empty relics from almost the turn of the century and time and the West Texas winds hadn't been kind to them.

The temperature was still climbing. This wasn't going to work. I either needed to figure out someplace to cool off, or I need to bite the bullet and head for home and the overabundance of females there.

Forty-five minutes later, I was sitting in front of Texas Water Rampage. It may have been a mistake, but I found myself curious and threw down the price of two movies to go inside and check it out.

Sweating, I immediately made for the center attraction, the wave pool. It was ridiculous! The pool was ten times the size of our little swimming pool, if you counted from the shallows which were like a beach with water hardly lapping over your toes. Yet, it was packed with people much like ours had been the first summer.

Off to the side was another pool that didn't have four foot waves for the little kids and it was almost as packed. There were also a pair of huge water slides with lines that stretched almost past the pool they emptied into and picnic grounds that was full of people lazing around on beach towels and blankets eating, talking, and watching the other people walking around in their swimsuits.

I made my way down to the deep end, worming around people when necessary, and found a place to tread water and ride the waves. It was there I figured out what Emma had been driving at about the eighteen through twenties crowd making things less family oriented.

I'm not positive the young couple I found myself riding the waves beside were having actual sex, but I'm dead certain they were at least rounding third base right there, only half hidden by the water, the waves, and all the bodies. The girl gave me some serious eye contact as I paused and frankly stared, causing me to blush and look away.

And they weren't the only ones. Well, they might have been the only ones to go quite that far, but almost everywhere I looked, I saw people kissing and pressing their scantily clad bodies together in the water.

The sandy "beach" where people laid out working on their tans wasn't much better as people slathered oil on each other's skin. Maybe people need help getting their backs covered, but come on. If the skin isn't exposed while they are lying there, do they really need help getting the sunscreen or tanning oil or whatever up under their already skimpy swimsuits? Apparently so as I saw several people sliding their hands up under or down and around swimming attire.

And the lifeguards... I don't know where they found their lifeguards, but the dozen or so I could see made Becki, Chaz, and their pack of pretty people look normal. Each one sitting on a raised chair had a pack of... of... groupies clustered around like ancient drawings of the populace worshipping at the feet of their rulers and demi-gods.

Perhaps the worst part was that I compared every attractive, seemingly available woman to Becki. Or perhaps it was that the sexual tensions in the place reminded me of what Becki and I had shared. Whatever the reason, I wasn't equipped to deal with the crowds, the noise, but most of all the blatant sensuality and meat market atmosphere. Not that day. I only lasted a couple of hours before I couldn't take it anymore.

I hit a couple of movies at the South Plains Mall that seemed interesting, but weren't. They weren't terrible, I don't guess. But, they seemed to have been made more to give people something to spend money on than because there was a story to be told.

I ended up walking the mall and waiting for the sun to go down before making my way back home. I didn't have any idea when Mom and Jan were planning on chasing everyone out, so it didn't seem worth it to make my way out there in the fading heat only to have to keep riding because the coast wasn't clear.

Even when the mall closed, and the sun had set, I wasn't in any particular hurry. Rather than taking the highway, I took a winding back country road.

The lion's share of the stuff we'd decided to sell was gone. The living room should have qualified as a disaster relief area. Mom and Jan were both already in bed, I suppose exhausted from the day.

Sleep was a long time coming for me. I suppose I hadn't done enough to be tired enough to sleep. Which was bad since I laid there and thought about Becki.

--17Aug87--

Enrolling in college went much smoother with people actually on campus. But, I balked when I found out what they wanted to charge me to live in the dorms.

"Mom?" I asked that evening when we sat down to supper. "Is there any chance I could live with you while I go to school?"

"Why would you want to?" Jan asked. "The dorms are where all the fun is."

"I don't know," I shot back. "Maybe because I would like to actually finish."

"I don't know, John," Mom said. "I mean, if we had talked about it sooner, I could have made other plans. But, the place I'm moving into only has one bedroom."

"Just live here," Jan said. "I'm sure Emma would let you rent your old room."

"Ah, no. I don't think so," I said. "I'm not completely sure what's going on with her, but I feel like if I went to bed alone, I might not wake up that way."

"What's the problem with that?" Jan asked. "She's hot. Hotter than Becki, if you want to know the truth. And she is amazing in the sack. The things she can do with her-"

"Janet Louise Fitzgerald, that is quite enough," Mom said, turning crimson.

"Don't be jealous just because you don't have first hand knowledge," Jan said with an impudent grin.

"Why don't you stay here, then?" I asked.

"Nah," Jan said. "We've already run our course. And I just sort of feel like California is where I'm meant to be anyway. You know? Emma knows someone out there-"

"Of course she does," Mom and I said at exactly the same time and in exactly the same tone. All three of us had a good laugh.

"But, seriously," Jan went on when our laughter had died down. "Emma knows someone in show business. She's working on a line for me to be like second assistant on a movie set or something. Anyway, no I won't be staying here. So, I guess your options are limited, little bro. Either put out some cash to buy the place from her or put out some ass to rent it."

"I don't know," I said slowly. "I mean, no. I'm not going to sleep with Emma. But, I don't think I can afford to buy it either."