Heatstroked

"Sure you can," Mom said.

"I've still got college and I'm probably going to have enough problems there without having to work. Besides, the rule is freshmen have to live with parents or in the dorms. So, if you're not here, it kind of defeats the whole purpose."

"I tell you what," Mom sighed. "If you really need me to, I can come out and stay Friday and Saturday nights. If, that is, you decide to buy it back. But, only while you are a freshman. Then, that's it. I'm done with this place. If you want to visit me after, you'll have to come to Lubbock."

It took a little more persuading on Mom's part (I ignored Jan as much as I could), but she eventually talked me into it. All I had to do was talk to Emma about it.

It was decidedly unfair that Mom picked then, of all possible times, to determine I was an adult and should do some things myself. Without her assistance.

It was something of a relief when the number Mom gave me went to a message service.

--20Aug87--

In my defense, I'd been having a really nice dream from before Becki and I had fought. And Becki was the only one who had ever laid down beside me while I was sleeping. So, it was only natural, I think, I reached out in my stupor to hold her.

"Mmm. That's nice," a familiar voice that was decidedly not Becki's said. "Good morning to you too, John."

I opened my eyes to see Emma smiling at me as I jerked back from kissing her and caressing her ass. It was just a glimpse caught right before I fell off the other side of the bed.

"Ow," I groaned. The floor of my room was a whole lot harder than the pool I'd woken up by diving into for so much of the summer.

I could hear Jan cackling somewhere out of sight as Emma's face appeared over the edge of the bed.

"Boy, do you ever know how to make a girl feel special," Emma said with a grin.

"Oh! Oh!" Jan gasped. "I think I just peed a little!"

"Har har," I said flatly. "What are you doing here?"

"You called me, John. Something about wanting to buy my new house."

"And you had to crawl into bed with me for that?"

"No. I did that because I wanted to."

"So, what's it going to take for you to let me buy this house back from you?"

"Mmm. I don't know that works for me, John," Emma said, sitting up. "I mean, I've sold my place in Lubbock. And my girlfriends who came with me last Sunday were looking forward to all of us living here together for awhile. Sharing expenses. Sharing beds. We could probably come to some arrangement for you to live here too. All of us think you're cute."

Jan bolted from the room, cackling fit to burst. I heard the bathroom door slam shut.

"Very funny," I sighed. "Look, can we please be serious. I want to buy the house back from you. What would it take to do that?"

Emma named a figure three times what Mom had told me she had sold it to Emma for.

"Forget it," I said. "If you're not going to be serious, there's no point in us wasting our time."

"You're no fun," Emma said. "All right, here's the deal. My girls and I travel a lot. We have several houses scattered around. It's cheaper than renting hotel rooms. Our hours are so off we generally tend to have to rent for two days just to get eight hours of sleep. We have someone living at each house for security. Usually a guy, but two are women that nobody in their right mind would mess with. You can be that guy for us here, rent free.

"Frankly, you would mostly see me since this is more or less my area. Occasionally, when we have something big, you'd see the others. But, you might go three or four months without seeing any of us and then have us staying here every night for a month while we set something up. If we decide to get another place, which we do sometimes, we'll give you first option to buy it at cost."

"I need to think about it," I said.

--22Aug87--

It was time to face the music. I'd given Becki plenty of time and space to make the move to patch things up between us or end it clean. Whichever way she wanted it to go. Classes were starting soon and I didn't want it hanging over my head anymore.

The motorcycles were gone when I pulled up. I was more than a bit relieved to see that.

Eunice was just coming to open the pro shop when I stepped around to the side. She froze when she saw me.

"Hello, Eunice," I said. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Eunice said. "I've been fine. How have you been, John?"

"Lost and confused."

"Seems to be going around," Eunice snorted. "If you came to speak to Becki, I'm sorry to tell you she left for California yesterday with her friends."

"Of course she did," I sighed. "Well, I guess I have my answer. Thank you, Eunice. For everything. If you and Willard ever need anything, call me or come by. I'll still be living there while I go to school."

"What? But, I thought your mother was selling the house."

"She did," I said. "Emma is going to let me stay there for security or something."

"Oh, I see," Eunice said. "And how is Emma? We haven't seen much of her since you disappeared."

"Busy," I shrugged. "I think she's in... Shreveport? Maybe. I don't know. I've only seen her once or twice myself. Anyway, you know where to find me if you need me."

"Don't you want to talk about what we owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything, Eunice. I'm just glad I could help out. I only wish I could have done more."

--Summer 1991--

The final grades were in and I found myself in the strange position of having nothing to do for the summer. If I'd chosen any other major, I'd have had to work through the summer months as well. I admit I thought about taking some classes to buck for an administrative position, but I was fine with what I was doing. It did leave me with a hole of three months to fill, however.

For three days, I did what I'd done before that magical summer in 1983. I sat around and watched television and read and cooked. It didn't satisfy me any more than it had then.

I don't know why I did it, but when I threw my leg over my motorcycle to go find something different to do that fourth morning, I found myself headed two miles east of town.

Eunice was just walking down to the pro shop. She hadn't changed a bit.

"Well, land sakes! If it isn't John Fitzgerald!" Eunice exclaimed on seeing me. "What brings you back to this neck of the woods?"

"Just finished my first year teaching at the school and have a long boring summer to look forward to," I said with a smile. "I thought I'd come on out and see about using the pool."

"Did you now?" Eunice asked. "Well, I suppose seeing it's you, we could let you. If you pay the toll."

"And what would be the toll?" I asked with a grin.

"A hug, of course, you scamp."

I slipped my arm around her shoulders and felt my ribs creak as she squeezed me in turn.

"Your membership dues have come in like clockwork, but we hadn't seen hide nor hair of you. What have you been up to?"

"Well, I went to school year round so I could finish early. Got my teaching degree and spent the last year teaching math at the junior high in town. You'll never guess who one of my first students was."

"Who?"

"Lily Tennel."

"Oh, my." Eunice snorted a laugh. "I suppose she is about that age. We hadn't seen her or her mama in a couple of years. They let their membership lapse. And between me and you, I was about that sorry about it too."

"Well, at least she won't be here this summer, then." I laughed. "Three months without her in them is just what I need."

"I imagine," Eunice chuckled. "Well, our lifeguard is still out on the course. If you were anyone else, I'd tell you to wait until she had a chance to clean it and get set up. But, seeing as it's you..."

"I think I still remember how it's done," I laughed. "It's good to see you, Eunice."

"It's good to see you, too, John."

The cues were there. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. I'd given the pool a quick skim and emptied the filter traps and dove in. I was on my fourth lap when there was a shrill blast from a whistle. I paused, stood to clear my eyes, and saw Becki.

Becki was the lifeguard? Why hadn't Eunice told me?

"Returning to the scene of the crime, I see," Becki said.

"Yeah, it's funny how victims take their time going back."

"What victim? You're the one who left, John. You left me."

"I didn't go anywhere!" I said. "You went back to California!"

"For my mother's wedding! You were supposed to go with me, John!"

"Why?! So I could watch you and Chaz get back together right in front of me?! No, thank you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Chaz! You know! Chaz! Your old boyfriend who came all the way out here from California to get you back!"

"You are an idiot, John! In the first place, Chaz is my step-brother! Ok, technically ex-step-brother! From my mother's second marriage! In the second place, Chaz is gay!"

"Well, I didn't know that!"

"You didn't try to find out!"

"When would I have found out?! You hadn't spoken to me!"

"Because I was pissed at you! We fought! Then you stopped sleeping here! Then you stopped even coming out here!"

"Knock off the damn yelling out there!" Willard called from the counter window.

"Sorry, Grumps!"

"Sorry, Willard!"

Becki and I both paused, chests heaving from our shouting match.

"You knew where I was," I said more quietly. "You knew where to find me. I waited. But, you never came."

"Of course, I didn't. I didn't think you wanted to see me and didn't have a way to get there if you did."

"Chaz could have taken you."

"Can we get off of Chaz?"

"I thought you weren't on him. I mean if he was just your gay ex-step-brother and not your boyfriend, then he wouldn't have minded giving you a lift to my house."

"And I still didn't know you would want to see me!"

"And you didn't bother to find out! You could have called! You could have written!"

"Hey!" Willard yelled. "Do you think I'm here for your entertainment? Keep it down or take it away somewhere else where you won't bother the customers! Ow, woman! What are you hitting me for?! Go hit them with that darn magazine! They're the ones yelling!"

"Well, it's good to see some things haven't changed."

"Did you really think those two would, John? So, I hear you're living with Emma."

"I guess you could say that," I shrugged. "She and Mom are lovers. They've been together for about three years now."

"Okay, wow," Becki said after a moment. "Did not see that one coming at all. What's Jan think of it?"

"Not sure Jan knows," I said.

"Don't take this the wrong way, John. But, how could you know something Jan doesn't?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe because she moved out to California with Jane Phillips to make pornos."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, yeah," I sighed. "They've sent me the complete body of their work. I've got it stashed in my closet. Unopened. You are welcome to it, if you want it. I mean, Jan is supposed to be behind the camera doing hair and make-up instead of in front of it like Jane, but why risk it? You know?"

"Yeah, okay. Didn't see that one coming either. So, where have you been the last three summers, John?"

"Taking classes. Trying to finish my degree."

"So, you're here. I guess that means you finished. So, what now? You hang out for the summer and then run off to start your career?"

"I already started it, Becki. I graduated last summer and landed a teaching position teaching junior high math last fall."

"Really. So, you're a teacher. And a math teacher at that. You."

"I know, right?" I grinned at her. "Actually, believe it or not, in some ways it helps that I had to work so hard to get it. Makes it easier for me to see where my students are having problems. Lily was one of my students this year."

"I bet that went over like a lead balloon," Becki chuckled.

"Oh, you have no idea."

"She's got quite the crush on you, you know."

"That is not funny, Becki."

"See me laughing?"

"Ugh. No. Just, no." I shuddered. "So, what about you?"

"Me? What about me?"

"Well, you've pretty much caught up since you broke up with me. So, what's new for you?"

"I didn't break up with you, John. You broke up with me. And you know not much changes out here. I went back to working the course with Grumps when I got back from Mom's wedding. I got recertified to be a lifeguard when you didn't show back up so we would have one. That's about it. Same as it was when you were here. I even sneak out sometimes to swim at night. Sometimes, I even sleep up there." Becki twitched her head at the raised stand.

"I didn't break up with you," I said. "I gave you the space you obviously wanted. Then, I came back and found out you'd left for California."

"For a wedding, John!"

"Well, I didn't know that! All I knew was you were mad and then you left!"

"Well, I would have told you if you hadn't left first!"

"I'm going to get Bessie if you two don't knock it off!"

"Sorry, Willard!"

"Sorry, Grumps!" Becki yelled. "Well, John. If I didn't break up with you, which I didn't. And you didn't break up with me, which you say you didn't. Then why aren't we together?"

"Because you never told me you still wanted to be. And you took off the ring. Why did you take off the ring?"

"Because it catches on things. I pretty much only wear it to sleep any more. Or when we go to town."

"Aha! So, you have been to town."

"Oh, good God," Becki said rubbing at her temples. "You give me a headache. Yes, John. I've been to town. I've been to town several times. And no, I didn't go by to see you."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because you're the man, John! You're supposed to come to me! Not the other way around!"

"That was her, Willard! Not me! I'm being good!"

"Like I believe that, pool boy!"

"It's not going to work that way anymore, Becki. It never really did. You have to give me something. That's the thing about relationships. Both of us have to give something. The whole 'hard to get' and 'you're the boy and you're supposed to chase me' is bullshit anyway, but especially when we're supposed to be together."

"Are we together, John? Because from where I'm standing, it's kind of hard to tell."

"That's the point, Becki. You're standing there, expecting me to come to you. At which point you might let me or you might back away. Well, it's your turn to come to me. Then, I might let you or I might back away."

"Becki! Mr. F!"

"Oh, God," I groaned as I heard that familiar voice and saw a familiar figure coming out the door behind Becki.

Becki's face lit up into a malicious grin even before she turned around. "Lily! Where have you been, girlfriend?"

I took a breath and sank to the bottom of the pool deciding God has a sick and demented sense of humor.

Lily was the only person to come in the pool enclosure besides Becki and myself that day. But, she was more than enough. And she stayed the whole time!

Lily, the eight year old monster brat, had been bad. Lily, the gawky coltish twelve year old student, awkwardly trying to flirt with me was a thousand times worse. I would have given up and left several times, but Becki was obviously amused and some part of me I'd thought well buried loved seeing her smile.

"It's really good seeing the two of you together again," Lily said as she left the water when her mother came. "You belong together, you know? See you tomorrow!"

Becki and I looked at each other and our smiles faded. Splashing around and swimming with Lily, especially once Becki had brought out a patched Gary, had worn away time and our discomfort with each other, our attempt to figure out what we were. While Lily had been with us, we hadn't thought about it, we'd just devolved to the kids we'd been, having fun beating the heat in a cool swimming pool.

Now, those walls came slamming back up between us.

"Well, it's closing time," I said. "I should get out of the way."

"Why don't you join us for dinner, John?" Eunice asked. "We would love to have you."

"Would you?" I asked, peering at Becki.

Becki bit her lower lip and nodded.

Willard had gone off to check the course, leaving Becki behind. When he walked in and saw me sitting at the table, he just snorted.

I sat on the porch with them to watch the sunset. Becki and I didn't hold hands or even sit close to each other. If Lily or Jan had been there, they would have had ample room to sit between us.

Once the sun was behind the horizon, I stood with them. Eunice gave me a hug that made my ribs ache and a noisy bus on the cheek and told me how wonderful it was to see me again. Willard didn't say a word, but he shook my hand for the first time. The two of them went inside, leaving Becki and I standing there, unsure what to say.

"Why don't we go sit by the pool and talk?" Becki asked.

My pulse thrummed in my ears as I followed her through the darkened pro shop and sat down on the edge with my legs hanging in the water. Becki sat down next to me and turned her back to me to slip her prosthesis off. When she did, she leaned against me, her back touching my arm for just a moment.

The moment ended when she turned and dangled her legs down in the water next to mine with just as much space between us as had been on the porch.

"It's been strange without you here," Becki said after a long silence. "It's been nice having you back today. More like home."

"It was nice to be back," I said. "I've missed being here. Tech had an indoor heated pool I could use year round. And I did since it was free to students. But, it wasn't the same."

"I'd wondered how you'd stayed in such good shape and swam so well. Being able to do it-"

"Takes doing it," I finished with her, smiling. "Yeah, I would hit the pool in the morning before classes, in the afternoon after classes, and in between when I could manage a big enough break. The coach for the swim team tried to talk me into joining and, when I didn't, let me work out with them anyway."

"Why didn't you?" Becki asked. "I would've thought you would love that."

"Not really," I shrugged. "Swimming to race, training to race, it's different. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Who cares if I could make the length two tenths of a second faster than their number one seed? I didn't. I just wanted to be in the water swimming."

"So, were there a lot of cute coeds using the pool, then?"

"Not as many as you would think. About all I ever saw were on the women's swimming team or in the water aerobics class. Then again, about all the guys I saw were on the men's swimming team."

"What about in your classes?" Becki asked.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "One or two, I guess. I wasn't there to meet or even check out girls."

"Why not?" Becki asked quietly. "I mean, if you thought we were over and everything..."

"I don't know, Becki. Maybe I just didn't want to be hurt that way again. Maybe I just didn't have time. I carried eighteen and twenty-one hours in the fall and spring and nine hours each summer session. I had papers to write, tests to study for, and tutoring with several professors during their office hours. I lived out here and commuted which ate up an hour of each day.

"Then I got a job teaching and, if anything, it was worse. I would teach classes all day long, grade papers and write up lesson plans in the evenings. The only people I was around were either eleven to thirteen or other teachers who are mostly a decade or more older than me."

"So, you haven't been with anyone since the last time we were together either?"

"No, Becki. No, I haven't been with anyone but you. Ever."

Becki rolled backwards with her feet in the air. I wondered what she was doing until she slipped her shorts off. Then, I really wondered.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she rolled back forward and peeled her t-shirt over her head.

"I'm getting in the water."

"Naked?"

"I changed out of my swimsuit for supper and don't want to get my clothes wet."