All Comments on 'Heaven Sent'

Very good writing - there's a flow to this that makes it a cut above the average story here or anywhere. I hope you continue

I can understand the beginning of story with the husband but, please do not include him screwing the wife and mikka (big dick or not), wouldn't be in right category if you did

From what I could make out, not sure why she was talking to inanimate objects like they could talk back to her, but the point was made, never jump to conclusions and to tell your wife everything

More, please......Love the characters.

I loved it. the talking objects was funny as were the caricatures. It was such an easy read hated to come to the end. Would like to see more if you can keep the writing and the plotline on par with this story.

Thoroughly enjoyed it. Loved the dialogue with the personified objects. Just so well written. Amazingly good for first submission. Kudos!

I enjoyed your story except for the reconciliation. For me it did not ring true and spoiled the beginning!

Sorry!.

An amazing good story! The description of the picnic was so vivid that I almost could feel the soft breeze on my skin, hear the river, and smell the grass. It was a very nice road leading to love and I was a bit disappointed by the threathening reconciliation.

I'm really humbled by the positive comments my scribbling has elicited.

Mostly, I am honoured that I was able to involve people deeply enough in the characters and the story for them to have an emotional ownership response to the 'ending'. I was uncertain when finalising the story whether to have a 'ride off in the sunset' for the girls or what I thought was a somewhat less romantic ending that tipped a hat at the mundane consequences of sorting out a married existence. In any case, I tried to leave it pretty open for readers to imagine their own happy ever after and whether or not that involves the clumsy husband is up to you dear readers.

Once again, thank you for your votes and thank you especially for the feedback.

I also liked your talking utensils, a cute trick. I came here via 'Elizabeth...' Keep writing please, you are good at it.

I really really enjoyed these people and the story. Can't wait for the next chapter........

You are a WRITER, not just someone who knows grammar and punctuation. Creative use of inanimate objects with real people. The open-ended ending leaves us wondering, but I think Mel is truly alive with Mikka and takes that road.

Please, if you continue the story.

Very good story, or part of a story. I was going to whine about the abrupt ending, but then it occurred to me that the story started that way, too. And the story was good anyway. And you probably already know that you could do another chapter to let us in on how you would have it play out.

So, it was a really good story, well told, and it pulled me in. Thanks for sharing it.

I liked the dialogue (monologue?) with inanimate objects too - witty and clever.

A great story. So important to have great natural dialogue and sensitive, positive sex. There's both here. Superb

Mel is rather hypocritical, I think. She flips out when she thinks her husband is cheating on her but doesn't want to talk to him. When she finds out that he didn't cheat but instead he found out he was adopted and didn't know how to deal with it she tells him he needs to better at talking to her and then proceeds to cheat on him. What a nasty person.

A very well written story with some original ideas.

Good job!

I like this a whole lot. I like Mikka. A lot more. I thought she was fun, abrupt, a little sneaky, and just one hell of a women. Mikka just made this story for me. I think Darren needs training, lots of it. Any way a good yarn as we say.

5 stars.