All Comments on 'Hell to Pay Ch. 01'

I do believe there is going to be some very nasty action in the next chapter. Not the most original type of story, but well done none the less. Thanks

Your computer shut down scenario is very believeable and unfortunately extremely likely in the future. The scene is set and I am looking forward to the future chapters but please don't drag them out ala DQS1.

I am waiting for part II. Unfortunately, Dixie, like most women, cannot do as she is told.

and to where it goes, i am sure interested

Why does the female character have to be so stupid? I never would have opened the door. If they got in I would have shot first and asked questions later. Why is she not intelligent enough to do the same?

cows chickens and hogs r the only animals worth eating (oh, i forgot abt young squirrel)

Great story but what a stupid woman. Told to stay inside she just had to open the door. Now the woman has to be rescued putting both herself and her fiance at risk. I know, it's set up that way to drive the story, but sadly it is what almost every woman would do, not listen to the man who knows more about survival than they do. Our society has been intensely propagating the concept that men are stupid and inept, by way of television shows spouting that propaganda, for years. Thus, while I can bitch at her stupidity, I can understand why she would do something that she was specifically told not to do. Great writing and fast hard paced plot and action make this story stand out as a excellent choice to read in the action/adventure genre.

this is great, more at last chapter

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

Definitely not enough tags. Maybe even the wrong category.

Oh what an exciting story to find. And randomly found it was!

Stupid woman! He had told her what to do but she didn't listen and exposed herself!

Can't get much dumber, given the circumstances! Well, you wouldn't have a story if this didn't happen!

Good story and, as others mentioned, wouldn't be as exciting without the woman doing the usual Hollywood 'dumb female' trick of getting herself captured. I don't think, at least I hope, that no woman I've been close to would get caught like that, although I've met a few airheads, male and female, who would. But heck, that scenario has been a staple of adventure fiction for generations.

I'm liking this story. A lot.

The story line is good but why isn't that "people" just can't do what they are told?????

Broad. She did exactly the opposite of what she was told to do.

Loving the story, although it looks like both Casey and Dixie made mistakes.

Dixie's mistake was in not following Casey's instructions to lock herself in. Doesn't mean that she's stupid, as she's just not yet accustomed to the new circumstances.

Casey's mistake was in not having a secondary alert system to catch someone sneaking up from the side.

I'm looking forward to reading how they get themselves out of this. If the trapdoor's rigged so it can be opened from the underside (presumably downwards since there's a heavy table over the rug), I'm guessing that Casey will come in that way.

Well now this has been going on for a long time. I remember to once have read Stoker's Dracula novel, which fast first published in the late 19th century. As far as my memory serves therein it's well known how to prevent the vampire from entering the fair maiden's sleeping chamber, but they got struck by the invisible stupid-ray too and you probably know the rest. Off to part 2.

You just lost me.

Basically the story is good, but her ignoring his command to stay in the cabin, but confronted the man outside, was just plain STUPID! Why can't people in a situation like that just DO AS THEY WERE TOLD???

And just when I thought, “Dixie seems like she knows what she’s doing!” Good grief!

She's brain dead. Why did she go outside after her man told her stay inside until he returned? WHY was he up there at all? Was he alone? Why warn this guy more than once? Why wasn't she aware of her immediate surroundings?