All Comments on 'Hello Mr. Robinson Pt. 02'

Looking forward to the next addition!

What a wonderful surprise. I really thought this was a distraction from the Nick Shaw universe. Can't wait to see where you are going with this new story.

This story is all over the map. There are the plots of about five different stories all trying to be shoehorned (badly) into one.

What started out as a classic tale of a guy shagging his daughter and her friends, has turned into corporate thriller, espionage & intrigue, and SciFi bullshit all wrapped into one humongous pile of crap.

Instead of sticking with the initial teen/adult sex and incest theme, you've turned this into some clusterfuck of throwing everything and the kitchen sink at the wall to see what sticks.

As bestselling author, Tom Clancy said, "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." This story makes no sense whatsoever.

You should have left out all of this SciFi, drugged water crap and concentrated on writing a good sex story.

Even in the straight sex parts, elements are introduced that have little, if no bearing on the story.

Is she "Cindy" or is she "Sindy"? You keep bouncing back and forth.

The guy's got more personalities than Sybil. Is he a strong dominating kinda guy, or is he someone who is easily duped? Is he a horndog who can't resist when the local teenagers throw themselves at him, or is it the water? Or was it because he was drunk the first night with Kelly? He is quite fine with his own cheating during his marriage, but gets all weepy-eyed and depressed when he finds out his ex-wife has outdone him in the cheating department? Is he a Dom, or is he a wimp?

Just where and when DID Cindy learn to cook? And why did she just now take on that responsibility?

Is it the water that's doing it, or is it because Cindy and her friends were plotting to fuck the DILFs long before the water was introduced?

Who is Toni, and if she's a teen, and next-door neighbor as well, why isn't she part of Cindy's posse of friends?

When he got together with the girls he hadn't fucked yet, he still hasn't fucked Kira. He ate her, she sucked him, then Bruna showed up to ride the boloney pony instead of Kira.

The entire oil scene in the basement was totally pointless. Oil everyone up on a plastic covered concrete floor? Who wants to fuck on concrete? Add in a plastic wrapped recliner, that was never even used in reclining position. Add in the redecorated saw horse painted to look like an emergency barrier. Why the oil, at all? They never slipped and slid on each other. What's the point of it all? He fucked Kelly standing up and Asuna sitting in a chair. He could have just easily fucked them the same way upstairs.

Bruna's whole backstory is totally ludicrous. She somehow knows enough about his business that she can tell his solutions are "brilliant"? She dives well from the deck into a swimming pool because she not only was a cliff diver, but also in Junior Olympics?

What company would promote a guy who can't even be bothered to keep up with important intra-office emails? Over 200 unread emails, including the one that said he was being promoted? Gimme a break! How can he be on top of anything going on with the projects he's supposedly supervising?

I'm willing to suspend my disbelief to a certain point in these sex fantasies. A foot-long cock? No problem. Tits the size of beachballs? No big deal. Shooting gallons of cum? Okey dokey. But what you're asking me to do in this story is not just suspend my disbelief, but to take an H-bomb to it.

I mostly enjoyed the parts with Cindy and her friends, but all of the extraneous bullshit just ruined the rest of it. You said this was some attempt to include this in your writing "universe". By struggling to make that attempt, all it did was turn this into a muddled mess.

Next time, pick ONE plot line and stick to it.

This story, unfortunately, was my first introduction to your writing. From what I've seen here, I'm not inclined to read any more of your works.

I think I'll just say, "Goodbye, Mr. Robinson".

Interestingly enough I grinned along with the last commenters bitchfest... I was happy to pretty much ignore everything until we jumped off into sci-fi land, then I was like...wtf?! I dont recall the authors name from reading precious works but I have a feeling he might have written the crazy ass sci-tech story that comes to mind that I ran across a while back, lol.

...anyway I'd happily read along some more if the sci-fi bit goes away, retracted, but otherwise Im done with this one, too much to keep up with and my brains already one-tracted for this story, lol.

How is anal not tag in this or the first story.

Lost Boy

I have read so much of your work in the past month. I like how you can tie in your mulitverse to the different stories. Click was my intro to your work, and when I read iron rain it made the other stories more exciting. I can get behind most of the things you do write. My main thing is in this story Nick kinda comes out of nowhere and forces the FBI away. I guess my question is why? Did Nick buy Mr. Robinson's company? How does Nick have the time to do this when he is usually busy. I can understand the whole water came from the obilisk(SP) and that's why I'd does what it does, but how did the FBI find it and get a judge to sign off on having the house searched.

I'm not trying to take away from your amazing story, but maybe a little more detail about the ending would be nice. Maybe you have all of this planned out, and I just have to wait for the next installment.

With excitement,

Neverland

That guy always has the best toys.

Why does everyone seem to know what to do without any clues being given. Why would they permit something, metal thingamy, into their body without the slightest explanation. I hope the next chapter explains the holes in this story. It is reasonably written, just jumps around assuming reader knows what the heck is happening.

From the last comment I assume you know Nick? I dont, so it would have been nice to be introduced when he suddenly appeared.

Strange turn

This is the first series of yours I've read. It was a suggested story. I realize from the comments here you draw from other stories you wrote and incorporate them together. I find the acceptance of strange happenings a bit hard to accept myself. you might think to include a prescript to your stories that warns readers of these things to help felicitate readers enjoyment. Thanks for Sharing.

I hope you took Dark_Storms comments onboard.

Was this story written by an AI? The sex scenes aren't bad but the plot is very random and nearly incoherent...