All Comments on 'His Father's Lover: The Gift'

An even greater clusterfuck than the first chapter, no more than 3*!

In the story description, they were roll-playing. Where? Rolling on the grass? Rolling on the beach?

lol

It gives me ideas about a new scenario for me and My Nephew. Dressed all Hooker Slutty. Fuck. That might be a Lot of fun.

TBC

Ah, I think I see where the "issue" lies regarding this story. I believe it might be the role-playing at the end that takes away from this couple's last (?) night together. One would think that it being the last time they would focus on being together as who they truly are: a mother and son. I was expecting the entire time Toby to interrupt the play and painstakingly tell Kate that what he wants is her, not some Cookie, no matter how sexy and skillful she might be.

If you had wanted to keep the role-playing aspect, it would have been clever if it had been offered as a solution to the problem: Toby and Kate might not be able to be together, but what stops Toby and Cookie from hooking up once in a while?

It's probably a bit pointless to suggest these things to a story that was published five years ago, but I don't think the issue was that the two were at the end of their relationship. Especially not with 4,4 average. I think you shouldn't be afraid to try writing a story like this again. The language was wonderful, descriptions vivid. But there's still room to improve with some plot elements and how they're used. Other than that, keep writing!

I don't like how they had to part ways. "THE LAST TIME" don't do it for me. I really liked how he gained her respect as a man though. Maybe there could be more to this story soon I hope. I gave it a 5 for its naughty erotic nature of being with his mother and her with her son. I've just never been a firm believer that ALL good things MUST come to an end. Thank you for a wonderful story.

'Wildbill