Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 100

"I wanted them to gobble me up, to take me away." Beth inhaled deeply through her nose. "It was like a calling. I briefly considered going into the Coast Guard."

"You probably would have been good at it."

"Maybe. But I didn't want to be on a boat, staring down from above. I wanted to be part of the water, swimming beneath the waves, exploring its secrets." Beth sighed. "But the best fit was being some type of marine biologist, and hoping for research in the corners of the earth. Not an easy gig to land."

"I bet." In truth, he had no idea.

"I did a couple of intro biology classes in college. Didn't like it. I like things that are dynamic, constantly changing." Her eyes shimmered as she gazed out at the waves. "Guess that isn't a shocking character revelation."

Mike smiled. "Out of curiosity, what does the magic look like to you? Out in the water, I mean."

"It's not something I see. I feel it right in here." Beth put a hand to her chest. "I don't even know how to properly describe it. It's a kind of pressure. I feel how the water wants to move, but I also feel how it's being changed. There's a primal power to it, as if the ocean was asked to move and it agreed. How do you see it?"

"Bands of shimmering light." His answer was far more straightforward than hers. Beth could see some magic, but her attunement to water was incredibly strong. "They're very pretty."

Beth stood there for another minute, then turned her attention to Aurora, who was standing by the ramp to the beach. "How much longer until they get here?" she asked, raising her voice to be heard.

Aurora looked at her watch. "A few minutes. They're running late."

Beth pointed to the dock. "Am I allowed to go there?"

The hostess thought for a moment, then nodded. "It shouldn't be a problem."

"Great." Beth's fingers curled around Mike's, and she pulled him toward the dock. They had to climb up a small hill of sand to get to the structure, and she led him onto the dock. About twenty feet past the waterline, he realized that the water wasn't lying flat, but had taken on a sloped quality. If he didn't know better, it looked like the ocean was receding to form a vertical edge.

They were near the end of the dock when Beth pulled off her cover, revealing a dark blue swimsuit. Hair tumbled down across her back as she handed her cover to Mike, then tossed a smile his way over a shoulder.

"Don't let anyone shoot me," she said with a wink, then took off running. Over his shoulder, Mike heard Aurora, Ingrid, and a few other members of the Order shout, but there was no stopping Beth. When she reached the end of the dock, she leapt high into the air, letting out a whoop of delight as she curled her body into a ball. Her brunette curls trailed behind her like the tail of a shooting star as she fell, the moment searing itself into his brain.

The surface of the water swirled, and it almost looked as if the ocean rose to greet her. Beth broke the surface, disappearing beneath the waves. Behind him, Mike heard footsteps as Aurora and Ingrid ran out onto the dock.

"Of all the--" Ingrid moved past Mike and stared down into the water. "I would expect this from the intern, maybe, not your attorney!"

"Good help is hard to find." Mike shrugged, keeping the grin off his face.

"I swear to God, if she just cannonballed one of the royal family, I will fucking drown her myself!" Aurora's mask had slipped completely, her eyes now pinpricks of anger. "Get her out of the water!"

"Hey. Beth." Mike looked over the side of the dock. Though the water was clear to the bottom, he saw no sign of her. "If anyone has a rock, we can tie a note to it and drop--"

Aurora moved like she was going to strangle him, but Ingrid interceded, pushing the woman away. The two of them had a very rushed conversation about obscene demands, something about peeing in the pool, and the phrase 'diplomatic incident'. Aurora eventually stormed away down the dock, where a few Order members waited. Other than some dirty looks from them, nobody said anything.

Ingrid and Mike stood at the end of the dock for over a minute before the mage spoke. "Is she okay down there?"

"Probably." He shrugged, fighting to keep the smirk off his face. "Maybe she met an interesting starfish or something."

"Look, I know you think this is all fun and games, but this is serious business. When this is all over, you get to fly back to your house and do whatever it is you do there. This is my job, and I have to live with any fallout here, and for all I know, your friend pissed off a mermaid and is being held in a chokehold until she drowns."

"Do mermaids do that?" Mike raised an eyebrow. "That sounds a little extreme."

"This is their territory. The Order cares for the property, but the land and the magic that sustains it? That's all from the Kingdom." Ingrid pushed a finger in his face. "And if they decide they don't like you, I want you to know that the Order will not stand in their way."

Mike looked out at the water, contemplating Ingrid's words. He had definitely struck a nerve, which was fine. The more off balance he kept them, the better off he would be. However, the merfolk were a factor he hadn't accounted for. The last thing he needed was to be dragged out into the ocean and fed to a mutant octopus or something.

"Okay," he said after another minute of silence. "I promise that I'll be on some of my best behavior when the merfolk arrive."

Ingrid sighed, the tension going out of her shoulders. "Thank you."

"But if these merfolk try anything fishy..." he added, grinning dumbly.

"I swear to God I'll cut you," Ingrid hissed. "There are sharks out here, they'd never find the body."

"That's the thing about sharks. They always get right to the--" Mike was interrupted by a splash as Beth emerged from the water, her mouth open wide as she gasped for air.

"They're here!" she shouted, then turned to look at him. "Their delegation is almost here, I saw them!"

"Did you wave?" Mike knelt down and held out his hand. "I hear ocean people like waves."

Beth narrowed her eyes at him while Ingrid stomped off, muttering to herself.

"You just can't help it, can you?" Beth shook her head and took the offered hand.

"No," Mike replied as he pulled her up. "No, I cannot."

Ratu stood behind Quetzalli, watching as the dragon dipped her toes in a tide pool that had formed. A small crab kept popping out of a nearby hole to wave its claws threateningly in their direction, only to vanish if either of them moved. The dragon crouched down and stuck her fingers in the sand, splaying them wide.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ratu stepped past Quetzalli, which caused the crab to vanish. She knelt down and touched the sand, then closed her eyes and expanded her senses. The crab was huddled in its burrow, nervously pacing back and forth. Beneath them, she could feel the creatures of the sea as they tunneled, slumbered, or generally shifted about beneath the sand.

Quetzalli let out a long sigh. "I don't even know that it's worth mentioning. To hear the tale of the merfolk so casually discussed. It isn't dissimilar to what happened to the humans who worshiped me. I can still see them, in my mind's eye. My people, cut down by merciless Spaniards, exposed to disease, enslaved. Dragons have long memories."

"And long lives," Ratu added. "For you and I, this is our own history. But you have to remember that humans live such short lives. They are so far removed from the travesties of the past."

"I guess." Quetzalli kicked a shell across the sand. "This whole time I've lived at the house, I've forgotten that Mike isn't your typical human. He's been an apt pupil, a dear friend, a gracious host--"

"And a generous lover." Ratu smirked at the memory of making Mike eat her out for almost an hour yesterday evening. Her legs had coiled around his torso, holding her body in place as she came several times. The man hadn't even complained when she just wanted to lie there in a state of post-orgasmic bliss. He took a quick shower and then crawled under the bed to travel half-way around the world for tea with Death and Cyrus.

Quetzalli blushed and she giggled. "That, too. The human body has many experiences unique to it. I must say that sex is one of them. It's not really something my kind do for fun."

"Mine do. Even in our serpentine form." She moved next to Quetzalli and wrapped their arms together. "We do it like this. Sometimes we could spend days sliding across and over each other, deep beneath the earth. Some naga will create a chain, potentially dozens long."

"If dragons did that, we would have destroyed whole mountain chains. For us, it was often rough, like a battle. Our powers get released, not unlike my current form. Storm dragons like me would go out to sea and end up summoning hurricanes. Days spent in passion would later become attempts to shepherd the storm away from civilization. Or not, depending on the dragon." Quetzalli shrugged, which caused her arm to slide free. "I can't say I entirely blame humanity for hunting us down, but to condemn an entire species out of ignorance is never okay."

Ratu bit her lip and nodded. To her knowledge, her clan was likely still around. Naga were far more prudent when it came to revealing themselves, especially in the last century. It wouldn't surprise her to learn that the naga secretly ran entire governments or even corporations. Why worry about mankind when you could rule them from above?

After all, there was a reason that people often referred to politicians as snakes.

"Well, you should know that I'm here for you if you ever wish to talk. We live extremely long lives, and friends who can walk the long journey with us are more valuable than diamonds." Ratu felt a pulse of power from deep in the bay and turned her attention toward it. "Looks like the merfolk are here."

Beth and Mike were running down the dock as the drained water in the Cove flowed back, then lifted itself up like a giant, oncoming wave. The wall of water was nearly twenty feet tall, and revealed a sandbar that was covered in stone furniture. Ratu and Quetzalli hurried back to where Mike and Beth stood, the latter making a hand gesture that glowed briefly before stripping the water away from her body. When she saw Ratu looking, she winked.

"This is so cool," she whispered, then turned her attention toward the wall of water. Shadows had appeared as multiple figures approached. Many were holding spears as they emerged from the murk, revealing merfolk who averaged nine feet long from head to tail. They wore minimal clothing, which was more ornamental than anything else. Other than metallic bracers and shoulder pads, the warriors were naked. The men had their penises tucked into a belt around their waist, though a couple were dangling freely. Their members shifted and twitched in such a manner that Ratu suspected they could be prehensile.

A trio of individuals hovered in the middle of the group, each one wearing a crown made of coral. Waves of power radiated out through the water, and the central merfolk advanced. As they passed from liquid to air, two of the merfolk were held aloft by spheres of water that formed around their lower halves, allowing them to travel toward the nearest stone table. These were both men. One carried a crystalline sphere in his hands and the other a stack of stone tablets.

The central figure was a woman with bare, pendulous breasts and dark skin, but her pupils were silver in color. She flashed them a smile, revealing sharp teeth that reminded Ratu very much of a shark. When she emerged from the water, her lower half split apart with a ripping sound, transforming her tail and fins into a pair of legs covered in a seaweed net.

"I present to you her Royal Highness, Princess Kailani." Ingrid pulled her arms against her chest and bowed deeply. Other members of the Order repeated the gesture, and so did Mike and Beth.

Quetzalli didn't bow at all. Instead, she gave a simple head dip. Ratu noticed this from the corner of her eye and smacked the dragon's lower back. It occurred to her that the dragon had likely never seen fit to bow to anyone, except for maybe the Faerie Queen Titania.

Kailaini's silver eyes shifted in the dragon's direction, the discourtesy noticed. Ratu sent a pulse of magic into the beach beneath her feet, summoning up a small sandstorm that swirled around her group. It danced along the beach, causing Ingrid and Aurora to shift their hands nervously toward their weapons.

"And it is my pleasure," Ratu announced with a magically enhanced voice, "to introduce Your Royal Highness to Mike Radley, the Caretaker." The sand swirled around Mike's feet and then burst, creating a star-shaped pattern in the ground with him standing at its center.

Kailaini's full attention was now on Mike, who had put on an inviting smile. He hadn't known Ratu would announce him but went along with it. Ratu would be damned if she allowed anyone to believe that he was ordinary.

"It is an honor to meet you," he said, his voice gentle, yet carrying across the distance.

"And us, you." Kailaini's teeth glistened in the sun. "And who is your aquatic friend over there?" She pointed at Beth, who blushed furiously.

Mike looked at Beth, who stepped forward. "My name is Beth," she said. "And I apologize if I caused any trouble. I arrived on the island yesterday and hadn't had a chance to swim in the ocean quite yet. I simply couldn't resist."

Kailani's eyes flashed, and she moved to the seat closest to her. "I see. I sense the water in you. Is this correct?"

In response, Beth held her hand away from her chest, palm down. Water burbled up from the sand beneath her feet, then formed into a perfect sphere that levitated up to her hand. "It is," she replied.

In the background, Ratu heard Aurora hissing at someone about a dossier. Ingrid's expression was calm as she watched, but there was fire in her eyes. Clearly they hadn't expected Beth to possess any magic, but now the secret was out. Ratu didn't know if Beth was eager to appease the princess, or if the revelation was an attempt to make the Order believe that she was being careless.

Kailani laughed, clapping her hands together. "I knew it," she declared, her tone suddenly warm and friendly. "When my people saw you in the water, they wondered if maybe you were from a distant tribe, coming out to greet us. When your legs remained human, we thought perhaps something had gone wrong!"

Beth gasped at the compliment, and there was no hiding the sheer joy on her face. Kailani turned her attention to Ratu.

"And you are a daughter of earth. I can feel your strength through the sand at my feet." The princess turned her attention toward Mike. "I had no idea you had such powerful allies among you."

"We're full of surprises." He moved toward the table. "May we join you?"

"Please." Kailani clapped her palm against the stone table, and servants emerged from the wall of water. Floating along on large bubbles of water, they carried trays carved from lava rock. The table was set with stone goblets in a matter of moments, and the servants poured a dark red liquid into each cup.

"What is it?" asked Mike. Ingrid had moved to sit between him and Beth, and she tapped the chalice in front of her.

"Fermented blood. It's the merfolk version of wine." She ran her fingers along the rim of the cup and flicked away a bead of water. "It is very much an acquired taste, and I must warn you that humans can barely make it through a full cup without getting terribly drunk. Please pace yourself."

"But it is tradition. Tradition is important." Kailani picked up her goblet and raised it. "To the Caretaker and his family."

"To the Kingdom of Nalu." Mike raised his own glass and drank from it. The merfolk drank deeply, but didn't finish. Ratu tilted her cup back, allowing her serpentine tongue to twist along the inner surface and expose her taste buds. Not only did this let her fully experience the beverage, but it also gave her a good idea what was in it.

She narrowed her eyes at Kailani, but said nothing. The drink was bitter sweet, the flavor masking the high alcohol content. There was also something else, some form of mild hallucinogen. It wasn't enough to make a human see stars, but Ratu suspected it would make them more agreeable to any sort of negotiations. She didn't know how to warn Mike, but suspected he may already have some idea. From where she sat, she could feel his magic ignite, burning through his veins as if to drive out the impurities.

"It makes me think of cranberry juice," he announced while smacking his lips. "But it's very good." He set the chalice down, revealing that it was empty. The princess raised an eyebrow and leaned forward onto the table, her breasts pressing together.

"You seem impulsive for someone with such a big responsibility." There was danger in Kailani's grin, and Ratu made a note to herself that the princess was not to be trifled with. This was somebody used to getting her way, and now Ratu wasn't sure if this was a meeting of allies or a threat assessment.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Mike looked over at Beth, who had sipped from her cup. Her cheeks were already bright red. "That's why I travel with my attorney. She keeps me out of trouble...for the most part."

"I think the wine is quite good," Quetzalli declared, setting her chalice down. "Fermented fish blood, you say? May I have some more?"

There was muttering amongst the merfolk, but Kailani gestured to have Quetzalli's cup refilled. Ratu really hoped that the dragon's unique biology would be up for it. The meeting suddenly had a sinister feel to it, and she was worried that they would play right into the royal family's plans. Trying to deal with a drunk storm dragon right next to a body of water sounded like a bad time all around.

As if reading Ratu's mind, the princess leaned back in her chair and fixed a stern gaze on Mike. She licked her lips with anticipation and smiled.

"So, Caretaker. Tell me how you're planning to save my people."

Lily stared at the congregation below, a soft robe wrapped around her shoulders. Unlike one of her manifestations, this one belonged to the Order and was made of cotton blend that felt pleasant against her skin.

"Wow." Eulalie's voice came from the phone in Lily's hand. Lily had started a video call and was showing the Arachne the beach as the mermaids came out of the waves, lining up down below. "That looks amazing."

The succubus grinned, holding the phone close against her chest in case anybody was watching her. Technically, they weren't supposed to be able to make video calls through the barrier. But Eulalie had installed a router in the magical tea house and then ran a cord for it through the hole under Mike's bed, where the device was now attached to the frame of the bed. This meant they were circumventing both technology and magic. Eulalie liked to say that now they were thinking with portals, but Lily didn't understand the reference.

"It does. But Romeo's clenched, I can tell from up here." She smirked as Mike and the others met with the royal delegation. The distance was too great to hear anything, and it looked like they were passing out wine.

"If things go wrong, are you gonna drop down and kick some ass?" Eulalie's side of the call was just a black screen.

"Naturally. But I'm guessing they can handle some troublesome fish." Lily heard a soft click from the room behind her and put Eulalie on hold, tucking the phone between her breasts. Her flesh absorbed the device, moving it to the center of her body. Turning toward the room, she shifted her features so that she looked sickly, her face covered in smeared makeup and blotches.

It was a cleaning crew consisting of two men and a woman, followed by Wallace. They had opened the door, despite the security bolt being in place. The crew paused upon seeing Lily, but Wallace moved in front of them.