Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 033

"Can... can humans and gargoyles..." a large lump had formed in his throat.

"Oh, absolutely not!" She laughed and punched him playfully in the bicep. His whole arm went numb. "Even if we could procreate, you wouldn't survive the process."

"I don't understand. I'm fairly certain we've gone through the process."

"Only part of it. A gargoyle's anatomy is different. We have a mating ritual that involves flying high into the sky and then flying down toward the earth while we copulate. The act of diving causes a special stone in our body to shift and allow sperm into the womb, and then a gargoyle will fertilize and lay an egg."

"You lay eggs?"

She shrugged. "I could, but it takes a lot of energy. By nature, gargoyles only lay eggs when they can fertilize one."

"That sounds convenient."

She nodded. "It's become a bit harder since humans invented radar and air travel. When I say that we have to fly high, it's as high as our wings can carry us, far higher than any creature can go. The main reason we breathe is to take in energy, so technically we could just hang out up there if we didn't get tired. Have you ever seen a shooting star?"

"A few, when I was a kid."

She smiled. "Well, it's possible you wished on a pair of gargoyles. Our bodies can withstand the heat, that's for certain."

"You shouldn't be flying high enough to light up on re-entry though."

A weird look crossed her face. "What? Oh, no, the fire part. That's something else entirely."

MIke wanted to ask, but Abella stood up, grabbing another brick.

"Bet you a kiss I can hit his replacement from here." She winked and chucked the brick. He sat up just quick enough to see a jogger collapse into a pile of sand. Clearly, Sebastien had thought the coast was clear and gotten closer.

"Guess I owe you a kiss. I wonder how long it takes him to make one of those?"

Abella laughed. "Longer than it takes to throw a brick." She helped him stand up. "C'mon, you need to get ready. I'm dying to know what you find in that wardrobe, and you can give me that kiss after you come back."

He smiled. "You can count on it."

-

"Okay, I guess I'm ready." He looked in the mirror, then lifted up his shirt. The naga-skin tunic clung to him like spandex, the patterns shifting ever so slightly. He let go of the fabric and checked the small leather pouch on his right hip. Tink had made it for him, and he opened it up to reveal the vials that Zel had given him several days ago. The pouch was far safer than his pocket for keeping such valuable items, and he snapped it shut.

With the dagger clipped safely on his left hip, he realized that he looked less like a computer nerd and more like a rogue or a warrior, ready to leap into battle. He brushed aside his hair, marveling at how thick it felt. Even stranger, it didn't lie flat but curled up in places making it look like someone had styled it for him.

Naia whistled appreciatively. "Looking good, lover."

"Thanks." He turned around and smiled. "Guess we just need to wait for the others. I'll run out and reset the dial."

"I'll be waiting." She vanished with a splash.

He didn't hurry, instead pausing at the bottom of the stairs to watch Tink attach a small garage to Jenny's new dollhouse. He stopped to inspect her work and with a smile rustled her hair before going outside. Halfway to the dial, he saw a large brick arc through the air and splatter the latest iteration of Sebastien standing out on the street. He looked over his shoulder and gave the gargoyle a thumbs up and a grin, then turned around to give the dial a twist.

"Twenty four hours," he whispered to himself, then set the timer on his phone. Had Emily ever had to deal with a constant siege like he did? His enemy had been at the gates since moving in, and he feared they would remain until he could get rid of them. But how could he rid himself of a problem when he couldn't even leave the safety of his own house?

"Focus," he told himself. One problem at a time. He would go back in the house, open the wardrobe, and maybe find some answers that would help him deal with the nasty people who kept him under twenty-four hour surveillance. Or even find a way to use that gem. If he desired for them to go away, would the emerald give him the power to do it?

Stepping onto the porch, he cast a glance at the swing on the front porch. Still empty. Frowning, he swore to himself he would get to the bottom of her absence when he returned.

When he walked through the front door, Zel was waiting for him. She wore a backpack that he hadn't seen before, but he recognized it as being made from the same fabric as her saddlebags.

"I'm ready." She smiled and gave him a mock salute, then grabbed his hand and practically ran up the stairs with him. When they reached the top, he saw Ratu inspecting the wardrobe, her hands hovering over the surface as if warming them over a fire.

"This thing has power," she said once their eyes met. "Go get the key and let's see what it does."

"On it." He walked into his bathroom and Naia was waiting for him, the key in her fingers. This time when he grabbed it, the compulsion was much weaker. Perhaps the wardrobe knew he was coming? It wouldn't be the first piece of furniture in his house to have thoughts and feelings.

"Come back to me," she told him, giving him a kiss.

"Always do." He walked back into the hall, the key pulsing with warmth in his hand. Once he got within a few feet of the wardrobe, the keyhole lit up from within, casting a wide beam of yellow light across the hallway.

"Wow!" Zel knelt down. "Do you think it's safe to look inside?"

"Only with your bad eye." Ratu winked at Mike, and he held back a laugh.

"Okay, let's see what skeletons we find in here." He stuck the key in the lock and the wardrobe shook. "I'm hoping not actual skeletons."

"Agreed," both women said. He turned the key and pulled the door open. The interior was dark and full of coats. He looked at the others and pulled one of the coats off the rack. It was a navy blue peacoat. "This isn't what I was expecting."

"Indeed." Zel took the coat from him and put it on. "Hey, it fits."

Ratu, however, was frowning at the wardrobe. She stuck her hand up and moved it toward the hanging clothes. "There's a breeze here. It's cold."

"Really?" Mike pushed the coats aside to reveal the back wall of the wardrobe. "Is there a crack or something?" He reached back to touch the wall, only to have his fingers slide through it as if it wasn't there. A chill sensation traveled up his fingers and he yanked his arm back. "Whoa."

"Fascinating." Ratu pulled a coat off of the rack and balled it up. She threw it at the back wall where it bounced off harmlessly. "It isn't an illusion, that's for sure. It has all the earmarks of an actual portal."

"So where does it go?" he asked.

"Let's find out!" Zel shoved passed him and stuck out her hands. She vanished through the wall and disappeared.

"Zel? Can you see anything?" Several seconds went by with no response. "Shit. In for a penny, in for a pound." He stepped into the wardrobe and walked forward.

The effect was instantaneous. Upon passing through the back wall, he was instantly somewhere else, somewhere much colder. He was in the woods and large snow drifts had formed around the copse of trees he had just emerged from. Shivering, he saw Zel's hoofprints in the snow.

"Zel?" The prints disappeared around some trees. He turned around to see Ratu emerge from the shadows, her kimono opening wide to reveal her long, slender snakeskin legs.

"Too cold," she muttered, snapping her fingers. The flying dragon on her kimono blazed with light and the fabric expanded, transforming into a large, puffy coat with a fur hood. Thick mittens were attached to the sleeves by a string, and the coat parted revealing a thick set of fur lined boots.

"You look warm." He hugged himself, the cold air sapping away his body heat.

"Ever since our incident beneath the lake, I've decided to be more prepared from now on." She squinted her eyes against the white of the snow. "I didn't think to bring sunglasses though."

"Yeah, it's pretty bright." He pointed at the hoofprints. "She wandered off?"

"No, she ran off. You can tell by the spacing of the prints." Ratu walked next to him and slid something into his hand. "I thought this might come in handy."

He held the object up. It was the sun stone. He had forgotten all about it. Cecilia had brought it to him when they had stayed overnight in the greenhouse. It was a magic stone that could generate heat, but it required a kickstart. Smiling at Ratu with relief, he held it to his lips and blew warm air on it. Heat spread through the stone and it began giving off its own warmth. "Did you take this from the Vault?"

"I did. While Tink was reorganizing, I offered to hold on to a few of the less dangerous objects."

"This is what triggered the eruption at Pompeii. You know that, right?"

"Don't throw it in a fire then." She walked ahead of him. "Let's find our friend, shall we?"

They followed the tracks for a couple hundred feet. He was tempted to call for the centaur, but through the trees, it appeared they were on a large mountain. Would shouting cause an avalanche? And where exactly were they? He could see no other mountains in the distance, only blue skies.

Ratu didn't seem concerned in the slightest. She was busy examining a nearby tree.

"It would seem to be some sort of evergreen," she told him, touching the needles. A clump of snow fell loose at her feet. "We're at altitude, apparently."

"That's... great?" He turned his attention back to the hoofprints. They meandered down a steep hill and out onto a bluff. Down below, he saw Zel standing near the edge, her attention on the landscape below. His feet crunched in the snow as he approached, filling his shoes with ice. The sun stone was helping keep him warm, but definitely not dry.

"Zel?" When he spoke her name, she flinched. He could see a large valley beneath with a large river running through it. A large herd of horses appeared to be running in the distance.

The snow here was deeper than his ankles, and he lifted his feet high to keep walking forward. Zel's footprints were too far apart for him to walk in, and snow was rapidly accumulating inside of his shoes.

"We need to go back." Zel turned to face him. "Right now. We can't be here."

"Why not?" He stood next to her on the bluff. Instead of a sheer drop off, they were looking down a steep, snow covered slope. Huge drifts of snow had gobbled up the landscape, and other than a few animal tracks, it was pristine.

"I suspected as soon as I stepped through. I'll tell you when we get ba--" She froze, her eyes over his shoulder.

He turned around and saw that she was staring at a giant tower in the distance. It overlooked the valley and seemed to be made of large, interlocking stones that had been carved directly into the stone face of the mountain.

"Holy shit, that thing is huge!" He heard footsteps and turned around, expecting to see Ratu.

A woman had wandered out of the trees nearby, her hand clutching a walking staff. Her dress was made of a pale fabric decorated with thick red and white furs. Her white hair was thick and framed her narrow face. She drew back her hood, revealing that she wore a plain white eyepatch over her right eye. Her left eye was red like wine. At first he thought she was wearing earmuffs, but when they unfolded into above her head, he realized that they were large, furry ears.

"Who are you?" she asked, her voice trembling. It was soft, but firm. "Where are you from?"

Zel's fingers found his and she squeezed him tightly.

"My name is Mike. I came here through a magical wardrobe." He smiled and gave her a friendly wave. "I'm the new Caretaker, if you know what that is."

She held her hand out, palm up, and then clenched her fingers. Her face twisted into a snarl and the nails of her fingers grew into daggers. The snow on the ground between them lifted into the air, collating into a gigantic spear made of ice.

"Not anymore." She pointed a sharp finger at him and the icicle rocketed forward and hit him square in the chest. Fire blossomed through his rib cage and he felt the breath knocked from his body. The impact blew him off his feet and Zel's fingers clamped down on his as they both tumbled over the edge of the bluff.

-

"Ta ma de." She closed her outstretched hand and ran toward the ledge. The icicle should have penetrated the human, maybe even pierced him through, but he had taken the brunt of it and simply fallen away from her, dragging his escort with him. She could smell blood in the air and saw a small amount of it on the fresh snow.

It was nowhere near enough. Looking over the ledge, she saw that the man and woman had triggered a small avalanche, and were now sliding down the mountain and far away from her.

"Daisy." She waited a couple of seconds for the fairy to appear before her. "Find them and report back. I'll be up here."

The fairy saluted and shot down the mountain, her light disappearing in the distance.

A blast of cold air ruffled her furs and she pulled her cloak in tighter. It was likely that she had killed him, but she needed to be sure. Once she knew he was dead, it was time to resume her rightful place.

It was time to become the new Caretaker.

Her ears lifted, the sound of soft steps in the snow alerting her to another presence. Turning, she saw a woman in a thick coat emerge from the trees. She could feel a surge of strength from this woman, an instant connection through magic much like her own. Her lips parted and she bared her teeth, a low growl emanating from the back of her throat.

"Steady sister, I would talk first." The woman's skin flashed through a series of snake skin patterns. "You may call me Ratu. I am a naga."

"I can smell you from here." She sniffed the air, scowling at the scent of dirt and snake oil. Worst of all, she could smell the scent of that man on the newcomer. "You may call me Yuki. As a fellow shapeshifter, I know you know what I am."

"A kitsune. Interesting." Ratu crossed her arms. "I have a question for you, my tricky little fox. I was wondering if you had seen a man come wandering through here."

"I did, but he got away." Yuki pointed down the hill. "And when I find him, I plan on killing him."

"May I ask why?" Ratu turned her attention to a tree, feigning interest. "I'm just wondering why the extreme hostility."

"Are you with him?"

She shrugged. "In a way. I guess you could say I have a vested interest in seeing him succeed."

Yuki frowned. "Seeing him succeed at what, exactly?"

Ratu smiled. "Protecting the others. That's all he wants to do."

"That's how it always starts." Yuki let her magic expand, her senses blending with the ice and snow. She could feel it now, feel the naga's magic swirling around her like a tiny storm. "The last Caretaker wanted to protect the others so badly that she ended up turning on them. I shouldn't have to tell you that humans are broken, unable to resist the call of power. They flock to it like bees to honey. Better to crush them when they are weak before they live to betray you."

"This one might surprise you." The naga casually summoned a ball of fire in one hand then tossed it to the other. The fireball grew in size until it was two feet across, spinning rapidly. "I'm guessing that this isn't open to debate."

"It's been a while since I've eaten snake." Yuki clenched her fist and hooked her fingers upward. Several large spikes of ice lifted from the snow, all pointed at Ratu. She pointed the end of her staff at the naga. "And I imagine you won't last long in the cold."

Ratu's eyes narrowed dangerously, the swirling ball of fire casting flames among the trees. They ignited, the smoke swirling around her like a cloak of shadows.

"Silly fox." She bared her fangs, her face rippling as she changed shape. "The furrier they are, the quicker they burn."

Yuki sent forth the spears of ice, her howls echoing off the mountain as the fireball descended on her and turned the world to mist.

---

Oh my god, I have been waiting to share this kitsune with you for months now! I've been reading some fan theories about her identity and am definitely curious why you think she believes she gets to become the new Caretaker. I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I really did enjoy writing it, especially the scene with Abella.

Don't forget to rate, comment, or send me a letter, I love to read them. I am already hard at work on the next chapter that has a couple of huge surprises in store for Mike and the gang and absolutely love reading your emails and such. This chapter was harder than some of the others and seeing your positive feedback really helped me.

Until next time, monster lovers! Take care of each other!