Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 096

"I knew it," Mike whispered, his eyes on something Yuki couldn't see. The sundial sent a beam of blue light into the sky where it collided with a spherical barrier. Motes of light floated down from above and winked out of existence before they could touch anything.

A ring of light emerged from the house and washed over both of them. When it passed through Yuki, she became light-headed and grabbed Mike's hand for support. He squeezed her hand firmly, but didn't look away from a spot above the home. She squinted her eyes in the same direction, but still couldn't see what he had.

After several minutes, the blue light faded. Cecilia appeared on her swing, her face composed as she surveyed the much larger front porch that had appeared. Through the closed windows, Yuki could hear the shouts of surprise as everyone realized that the house had expanded once again.

"C'mon," he said, pulling Yuki toward the door. "Let's see what our magical home has in store for us today."

With a smile, she obliged. She would follow him anywhere.

The cemetery behind St. Andrew's was quiet, most of the markers buried under a thin blanket of snow. It was late in the afternoon, and other than some light traffic out on the street, the world was quiet. In the distance, the skyscrapers of New York stood watch like slumbering giants.

Kisa knelt down and brushed the ice and snow off the marker and let out a sigh when she read the name.

Yuriy Petrov

She brushed away some more snow. The small headstone had been paid for by his church, so other than his name and the year of his death, it was blank.

"I should have come to your funeral," she began. "I mean, maybe I did, but I can't remember. Some bad stuff went down, but you should know that I'm sorry I forgot who you were," she said, apologizing to the grave of the man who had saved her from the streets. "Would you like to hear about it?"

A distant car honked at someone crossing the street. Kisa waited a few moments before she continued. She told Yuriy all about how she had gone on a hunt to remove the cursed collar on her neck and ended up trapped by Emily. The details for that period weren't necessary, but if his spirit was somehow listening, she wanted him to know how and why she had forgotten all about him.

From there, she talked about how she had ended up with Mike, both in his house and as his familiar. The words poured out of her like water as she spilled years worth of pent up feelings. It no longer mattered if anyone was there, these were words that needed to be said.

She told Yuriy all about the horsemen of the apocalypse, and that time she'd been possessed by a spirit. Tink and Mike both came up, but she left out the sexy parts. After rambling for nearly an hour, she let out a heavy sigh.

"You're probably wondering how I found you." Kisa reached into her coat and pulled out the packet of adoption papers. "For my most recent adventure, I went to the North Pole and ended up finding these in Santa's Undeliverables Warehouse. Turns out you died of a heart attack right before Christmas, and Santa has to jump through the same legal bullshit we all do. That's so stupid, right? Jolly old fat guy has to plan his Christmas miracles months or even years in advance. I was supposed to wake up on Christmas day and find these under the tree.

The papers trembled in her hands. "When Holly first told me all about it, I'll admit I cried. It took me a few days to wrap my head around how such a stupid thing as a heart attack had changed my life completely. If not for that cursed collar, I would have gone back to being an orphan. Nobody even missed me when I disappeared. How messed up is that?"

She laughed sadly, then set the papers down by the grave. "I signed them, just so you know. Not that it matters, considering I'm legally dead now. Regardless, I would have been happy to be your daughter, would have traded everything for it, in fact. I looked up my family, or what's left of them. Mom was an addict who dropped off the radar. No dad on file. My grandmother took me in, but died from a stroke when I was eleven. I spent a couple years on the street before you found me and taught me to dance. I had nobody, was nobody, yet you saw worth in me, convinced me I could be something. You were a dancer who fled the fall of the Soviet Union, you knew all about starting your whole life over and about putting faith in others.

"I guess for the longest time, I was worried that my life was full of people who abandoned me because of who I was. My mom, if she's still alive, doesn't have an address. Grandma is in an unmarked grave somewhere, so I can't even visit her. You were the only connection to my old life. Maybe these papers couldn't bring me the happily ever after that I wanted, but they helped me find the closure to chase the one I deserve. Once upon a time, you were my whole family. The one I have now, though?" She chuckled and looked over her shoulder. Death and Mike stood several headstones over, sharing a large thermos of hot chocolate. The Grim Reaper had a large pad of paper and was using a crayon to take rubbings from the graves, a trick that Mike had taught him.

"They're pretty great." She stared up into the sky and sat with her feelings for a bit. Once she was ready to go, she pulled a black marker from her pocket and wrote the word father below Yuriy's name. Leaning forward, she placed a kiss on the cold marble and then stood. When she walked back over to Mike, he stopped talking to Death and gave her his full attention.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Good, I guess." She shrugged. "Not really sure. Dead father issues, and all that jazz."

Death nodded sagely. "Indeed. The loss of a parent is a difficult situation, no matter--"

Kisa stood on her tiptoes and placed her hand over Death's mouth. "Shush." Some moments were simply better when less was said.

"We can stay longer if you'd like. Whatever you need." Mike ran his hand between her ears in a way that made her shiver in delight.

"Nah, I'm good. We can go whenever."

They turned and walked toward the edge of the cemetery where a gnarled tree stood. Once nearby, Mike stopped and looked out at the city.

"Oh, by the way. I sort of accidentally promised Death we could go see Times Square."

"He did, Kisa Radley." Death was busy folding up his gravestone rubbings to tuck them away into his robes. "But it is your day, and I do not wish to intrude."

She laughed at this. "I guess we can go check it out. But aren't you worried you might scare the shit out of someone?"

Death shook his head. "This is New York, my feline friend. Even if someone is able to see me, I doubt I shall even be noticed."

"Well, I guess we'll see about that." Kisa slid her hand into Mike's, feeling his magic rub against hers. With just a thought, she willed her magic to extend over his body, hiding him in plain sight. To anybody watching, everything else in the cemetery would suddenly be far more interesting. "Shall we?"

"We shall." Mike put his hand on the tree and the portal opened. The three of them stepped through, finally leaving Kisa's past behind.

Sunlight streamed through the dining room window, illuminating the tray of bacon that had been set to cool on the counter. Sofia hummed to herself, swaying her hips from side to side as Mike came up from behind. She jumped when he put his hands on her hips, then turned around to swat him with a spatula.

"Don't sneak up on me!" She gave him another playful swat.

"You said you didn't want me smacking your butt anymore." He winked at her. "But that cancels out your early warning system, now doesn't it?"

"Silly man. I didn't expect you to listen." She pushed her fingers through his hair. "It's getting long again. You should cut it."

Mike sighed and looked out the window at Naia. She was busy doing her princess bit with some birds who had stuck around for the winter. Her fountain was heated, and the local fauna treated his enlarged backyard like a sanctuary of sorts. Currently, she was singing to a group of finches who did little circles over her head.

"Yeah," he replied, watching the nymph. "I was planning on it today, actually."

Distracted, he didn't notice when Sofia wound her arm back and swatted him in the ass with the spatula. He jumped and rubbed at his backside, giving her a frown.

"I thought I was supposed to see that coming," he muttered.

"Perhaps." Sofia's cheeks were flushed pink. "You should stop by the Library later. Come see me in the Head Librarian's office. We have some stuff to go over." She pulled her apron off and hung it on a nearby hook. "Breakfast is ready for anyone who wants it, but I'm off to organize a new shipment. See you later?"

"Of course. Need me to bring anything?"

The cyclops grinned, then handed Mike the spatula. "Maybe that. And the apron."

Intrigued, he swung the spatula experimentally, cracking it on the palm of his other hand. "I mean, you could just stick around if you wanted."

"I could, but I do actually have a shipment of books coming in that require special handling. Some stuff Eulalie helped me procure." She licked her lips. "Don't disappoint me, Caretaker."

"I don't plan to." He watched Sofia saunter off, then turned his attention to the coffee maker. Moments later, Yuki ducked through the door in a pink terry cloth robe.

"Thank gods, I thought you two were going to fuck in front of the bacon." The kitsune grabbed a few pieces off the pan and turned her attention to the nearby platters of eggs, sausage, and toast. While she was loading her plate, others arrived. The kitchen became busy as anyone capable of eating food made a plate for themselves. Mike leaned against the counter and watched everyone with a smile, then made his own plate and went out to the dining room.

The dining room was larger than ever, but the massive table was the same as before. It was one of the rooms in the house that had changed the least after the last transformation. His own bedroom now had a sitting area and had become large enough that the windows overlooked the entire property. The observatory was on the opposite side of the manor and was more tower than turret. Dana had been surprised to see that the house had changed, but immediately took the room that had appeared just outside the observatory. It was almost as if it had been built just for her.

Lily's room was just down the hall from Mike's. Other than a very decadent bed which she would never sleep in, the only other piece of furniture was the beautiful picture frame that Death had made for her. Mike had noticed that she dodged any questions about who drew that wonderful picture of her, but figured he would learn who Reagan was eventually.

Mike sat and ate breakfast, then took care of his dishes and wandered toward the front of his manor. The front room of the house had expanded into a large open space with a double staircase that went up to the second floor. A beautiful mosaic had been built into the wooden floor using different types of hardwood. The pattern was intricate and shimmered in the daylight, scattering colors like a prism. Some of the larger windows higher up had been replaced with stained glass that Mike was certain would be a bitch to repair.

Reggie and Jenny sat at one of the couches, locked in yet another battle of wills. This time, it was over a game of Connect Four. Mike was surprised that it hadn't lost any pieces yet.

He stepped out front and took a deep breath. The cold air entered his lungs, and he let it all out in a single burst.

"Mike." Cecilia appeared next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "Good morning, mo stór."

He put a hand around her waist and squeezed, his fingers sliding along the cool fabric of her eternal dress. When he planted a kiss on her head, he noticed that the red streak of hair was thicker than it had been.

His manor now sat atop a small hill, the plot of land around his home nearly triple in size. The distance between the home, garage, and greenhouse was easily three times more distant, and he guessed his property was probably around twenty acres now, all enclosed by formidable stone walls that were several feet thick. He had no idea how large his home would get, but had decided that it was never something he would worry about. The people already here were the important ones.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I am well." She sighed, her empty gaze fixed on the distant road. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept okay." In fact, it hadn't been great. There had been a lot on his mind, and he had spent a good chunk of his time in the Dreamscape having a heated debate with all the personalities living there. "Anything to report?"

Cecilia shook her head as Abella landed in front of the house.

"Nothing new," Abella said. "Though more people are driving by and looking at the house."

Mike nodded. To the rest of the world, his home had always been a magnificent manor. It was likely that his neighbors were suddenly curious and probably wondered why they didn't drive by more often. "As long as none of them come into the yard, we should be fine."

Abella nodded her agreement. "And even if they do, we will be ready."

Mike glanced over at the corner where the Jabberwock was asleep beneath the snow. On the other side of the yard was a small structure they had built for Cerberus. Now that the hellhound was free of the underworld, they chose to sleep the day away and come out mostly at night. Even so, any sign of trouble would bring them out.

The stone lions on the perimeter of the house stared out at the street. There were six of them now, with several smaller iterations ensconced across the exterior of the manor. Now that the sundial was permanently activated, he knew that the home's defenses would never be better.

"Are you okay?" Abella asked.

"Yeah. Just gearing up for something I'm a bit nervous to do is all." He wasn't going to lie to them, but he couldn't afford to say the truth until he was certain. "Wanted to take in the calm of the morning is all."

Abella looked concerned, but said nothing. Cecilia took Mike's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Call us if you need us," she whispered, then faded away.

"Always." He stepped down the stairs and kissed Abella's forehead. "I have the egg later today and was thinking of taking her for a walk in the Greenhouse. You want to come?"

Her obsidian eyes sparkled. "I wouldn't miss it," she declared, then stepped back and leapt into the sky, her wings flapping as she spiraled around the manor and eventually landed on a ledge just above his bedroom window. She settled into a crouch, her eyes settling on the front gate, his family's protector.

Mike took a walk in the garden to clear his head, pausing at the sundial. The smooth stone surface sparkled now, as if crushed diamonds had been laid into the stone. It no longer rotated, frozen in a single moment of time by the drop of Santa's blood.

"What husband doing?" Tink stepped from behind him and examined the sundial. "Find way to fix?"

He chuckled to himself. After resetting the sundial, Tink had informed him that its final position was actually a couple degrees off, meaning it was only accurate within a few minutes. Though it didn't actually matter, she liked to tease him about it every chance she got.

"Nope." He ran his hand along the gnomon of the dial, feeling a brief connection to the ancient power that ran beneath the land. "Figured I would wait until my favorite goblin fixed it for me."

Tink pinched him and he flinched.

"Not favorite goblin. Favorite. One word." Tink sounded dead serious, but there was a mischievous look in her eye.

"Favorite wife, maybe?"

Tink snorted, then took him by the hand. "Only wife," she reminded him, then bit his wrist.

"Ow!" He jerked his hand back. "Didn't you eat enough breakfast?"

"Tink always hungry for husband." She let out a sigh and turned her head toward the house. "But busy today. Dead girl need internet, have to install wires. Ugh."

"I'm sure Dana will appreciate it," he reminded her.

"Dead girl said husband pay price." She sashayed away from him, then looked over her shoulder directly. "Husband get ambushed later, this only warning."

"I have been warned." He followed her back to the house and walked inside. A roll of ethernet cable was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, and Tink picked it up and held it over her head as she grumbled to herself.

"Stupid fucking stairs," she muttered.

Mike watched her go, then walked around the stairs and down the long hallway that would take him to the backyard. There were two new sitting rooms along the hall, and one of them was already accumulating children's toys. Callisto would need somewhere to play on days he visited, after all.

The back door now exited to a sunroom. Mike walked across it and through the final gold trimmed door that led outside. The temperature in his backyard was roughly twenty degrees warmer than out front, and he didn't even question it. He was fairly certain it was partially due to Naia's fountain running hot water this time of year to help the creatures who came to visit her.

Naia was watching a pair of finches bathe in the uppermost tier of her fountain with a smile on her face. Her blue eyes focused on him as he approached the edge of her fountain.

"Good morning, lover." Naia melted into the water, reappearing a moment later on the edge. She twisted her body so that she was sitting on the ledge, her hands still connecting her to the fountain's basin. "It's so good to see you this morning."

"Good morning, Naia." He didn't come any closer. "How are you today?"

"I am well. It's pretty quiet, but I rather enjoy it." Her eyes narrowed. "Your hair is getting long again, you should let me cut it for you."

"Yeah, about that. I sure could use a haircut, but that kind of depends on something else. There's a question I want to ask, but I don't know that you're going to like it."

Naia's smile faded. "I don't understand. Mike, I can feel your emotions from here, is something wrong?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet. It's just us back here, right?"

She nodded. "That I'm aware of. Well, and the birds."

"Good. Because the question I'm about to ask is for your ears only." He walked around the edge of her fountain. "Do you remember Christmas day? When I used that drop of blood to strengthen the geas?"

"Of course." Naia's body slid along the edge of the fountain, keeping Mike facing her. "My fountain got a bit bigger and my bathtub now has a window with a view!"

Mike nodded. "There were so many changes all at once, and it seems like we're still discovering some of them. But that's not what this is about. It's actually about something I learned from the North Pole, and a little bit about the cabin."

"What's that?" She tilted her head to one side, her blue and green locks tumbling down her shoulder.

"Well, let's start with the cabin. I was only there a couple of days, and the entity that resides there made direct contact with me. Sure, it was in a dream, but I was actually speaking with her."

"Uh huh."

Mike frowned. "And when I went to the North Pole, the entity that resides there spoke with me directly. He also spoke with Holly, I checked with her later on. Came right out and said hello."

Naia blinked, confusion on her face.

"However, my own home seems to be more mysterious. The spirit who lives here has contacted me, but never directly, not in a face to face manner. I've occupied her body, or heard her voice in my head. I thought that was really weird, right?"

She shrugged. "I guess. But two out of three doesn't necessarily mean anything."

"You're right, it doesn't." Mike stopped at a stone bench and sat down. "But it was the North Pole that gave it away. I got to see Freyja's memories, you know, was floating around in her head quite a bit. Some of it didn't make sense to me, but Yuki filled me in on Freyja's visit, and a lot of things clicked into place."