All Comments on 'Hometown Advantage'

When you read a negative comment remember Bruce dickensons quote " There's only one em... And that's Fuck em" Bruce was the lead singer for iron maiden in the 80s.

Mate it is a work of fiction and so the letter of the law doesn't count I thoroughly enjoyed it but it does need a second chapter just too tie up loose ends.

great job buddy!!!

graham

I ,for one , really enjoyed your unorthodox legal maneuvers in combating the divorce. I'm sure our many LW legal experts will try to destroy the fantasy, but it's too late since I done read it. Thanks for letting the bitch stay true to her nature and ruin the RAAC.

and he was a cuck taking her back

shoulda booted her ass the first time

and why didnt her sue his whore wife's lover the first time around?

... then again maybe not. Not a bad story to kill a few minutes, obviously its more for humor than depth but still a 4 star quick read.

Should he have taken her up on the anal offer?...

Nah, she's definitely crazy and that's something ya shouldn't stick your dick in. Crazy I mean, a womans arse is a wonderful place to place ur dingus.

Public hair

There is a good story hidden in these two pages, But please you need to get an editor. One redeeming point was laugh You gave me with this typo. My imagination went wild at the thought. the wife considered her pubic hair to be public.

you shouldn't have pussied up AND TOOK IT EASY ON HER

It was good, but ended abruptly. Did Esther lose her mind when he started dating?

Really original and funny. Good job.

Not the full shilling. Seriously jealousy is very destructive and has ruined many a relationship. Of course it's the result of insecurity and the solution is to talk about those feelings. When or if we hear them we should take it seriously and talk it through.

good job

I thought I might have to delurk and write it myself. :)

The story flowed and was easy to follow. Getting an editor would help. You have talent. Ignore the trolls.

I am not sure how to amplify my thoughts expressed in the 'title'--they say it all. As the story approached the ending, I was seriously tempted to give it 1* and move on, but reconsidered, and gave it 3* because of the unusual barrage of counter-claims which were the vehicle of Esther's BTB destruction.

(In this ugly 2020 era of political hate and divisiveness, your chosen BTB strategy of using wildly excessive barrage of nutty law suits to overwhelm an opponent is highly reminiscent of Trump's slithery icon, Senator McCarthy's disbarred lawyer, Roy Cohen.)

Was Bonnie his real Daughter? Was Monty really tapping her? Give us a bit more.

Is this different to private hair?

I just don't get how she would rely on Monte after what he did to her. She should be so pissed at him she would want him dead. That was the major issue I had with the story. As for giving her money to keep the house and daughter that is the other issue I had. Ex wife should have to visit the daughter, not the other way around. She was not a fit mother.

It shows how jealousy can really mess everything up.

And now, after that reading break, back to my day job!

Seriously stupidly funny 😂😂😂

Nicely done.

Great

...and wasn’t concerned with technical errors. As usual, well done!

As much as I hate RAAC or reconciliation, I wanted it in this story

then it is much easier to let go and suspend disbelief of legal issues that may not be accurate.

Problem is, based on comments alone, you'd think that 60 % of the readership was lawyers and the other 40% were retired teachers of English!

I think it is the same thing: If you are a reader who isn't a school teacher, then the grammar Nazi thing doesn't manifest as badly.

There was a time when LW could boast the legal battles fought by the characters in a story were actually just another part of the fictional narrative. Fiction People! But there HAS been a subtle change. If an author CAN do the research to provide accuracy, then it DOES seem to have a positive impact in reader response.

There is a believability quotient that is improved when a reader doesn't have an internal monologue moment of "that would never happen!" taking them out of the story. it is a delicate balance.

I think that it is incumbent on authors to do as much research and prep as possible when crafting stories. Hopefully the hard work pays off. But every so often, just having fun with a fictional fantasy can be enjoyable too, even if for some, it becomes merely just tolerated.

I like Skip's stories, nobody ever has to get pissed off when reading. I felt like him being upfront about his motivations for writing does serve to help with reader response. Skip isn't trying to write compelling legal thrillers here. That is OK.

But I worry about sending a message that it is not necessary to incorporate realism and accuracy into stories here. I can tell you that when the suspension of disbelief isn't an issue for readers, then scores magnify to the top ratings, and remain among the best of the best. It is still a worthy aim to do the research and be a prepared as possible in this craft.

Thank you for your efforts. But it will always be even easier to thank you for your EXTRA efforts, when an author goes above and beyond just being satisfied to present another and more of the average and typical.

But no worries about me, I still voted this a 4.5. Thanks again, and have a great day!

. . . when Ben found Esther had shaved her pussy, any man in this particular situation would have immediately thought that she had done it for someone else. Had she done it for him, she’d have announced it as a special surprise for him, not waited until he brought up sex.

The idea was good, but a few nitpicks. One, she got curious again about his faithfulness, would have probably made a little more sense to use a PI than good ole Monty, but it was humorous to have him running away like he did. Second, I think you really rushed this one as several mistakes were glaring, such as her "public hair"? Overall good short story, thanks for sharing!

Hubby takes care of business like a real man and survives crazy town. Enjoyable read and thankfully cuck free!

Cut out the backstory. Just get rid of it. When I open a story and see paragraph after paragraph about how you met, how you courted, what you did for a living, the cooling of the earth, the rise and fall of the dinosaurs, the Middle Ages, World War II, and every other historical event, I know I'm in for a tedious read.

It doesn't have to be suck and fuck two sentences in, but get to the heart of the story rather than these convoluted windups.

Found the story very unbelievable and confusing. I did like the way he took on the divorce and won. That was very creative and worth the 3 rating.

Ben had Bonnie swabbed for a DNA test. Later in the story Esther's lawyer reveals that Monty would support both Esther and Bonnie. Does that mean Bonnie is Monty's child? The result of the DNA test was not made public.

The writer gets points for having the courage to submit this story. Regretfully, there are serious problems:

A.) The plot reads like something a high-school freshman would devise; the writer used the 'Yellow Brick Road' approach. Every time the protagonist needed something, it magically appeared (Uncle is police upper management, Aunt is something or other, etc., etc.) Too many cliches per paragraph.

B.) The dialogue is terrible; people just don't talk like this writer has them doing

C.) The writer confuses the functions of family court with criminal courts

D.) The characters are little more than cartoon figures; we know nothing about any of them save for the wife... who is simply a caricature.

The story needs to be polished a lot, gaps need to be filled in, etc., etc.

Well yeah, there were some errors but I enjoyed your story using a slightly different concept. Heck, what is to complaint about? These stories are all free. Keep working on your presentations.

and the slander action was legitimate. 5*

5* For Unconventional Warfare. That wife of his really is 1000 shades of crazy.

Good job. My only suggestion would be.....it ended kind of quickly. But what you wrote was good.

Still good job.

The wife was batshit crazy.

Story may have many faults, I'm not qualified enough to judge, but I do know I enjoyed it very much. It was like a breath of fresh air after the usual Loving Wives fare. Thanks for the effort. cd

She believed her ex, and slept with him.

And she continued to sleep with him. She would not have cried and carried on that dramatically when the photo was exposed. She may have been repentant, sullen, and depressed. But that anguished crying and pleading can only come from true guilt. She projected from day one.

But I'll say this, I temporarily dismissed the obvious because the story was that good. So that's pretty amazing author. I almost believed for a second that she didn't cheat on him. And I LOVE that you did 'show, don't tell' for us. You never had to explicitly state that she cheated. It was shown indirectly.

And I REALLY enjoyed the husband's push-back. I have no idea about the legality, but I'm a big proponent of fairness. And most people with a soul will agree that our current legal system is rarely that. So it had that 'feel good' factor.

What do you do with a nut job of a spouse who loves but really doesn't know how? In this case it is too bad since there is a child who suffers from her mother.

T.T.

But your writing failed you. I like the idea of a small town and the friendships/enemies you make. But two stoplight towns aren't big enough to support a computer/phone repair shop. Let alone a business like Mr. Larson's (why would Ben be able to hire his assistant when he works for Mr. Larson?). How is there some large law firm in town? And they don't have their own Court houses where country justice is practiced from the bench. Sorry for criticizing your "technical grounds". I do realize this is a fictional world. But when Ben has her by her "tits" he should have squeezed. Taken full custody. Taken the house. Continued the lawsuits. And then moved far, far away. BTW, what happened with the DNA test? What happened with his Mother or Esther's sister? You made some good points in his handling of her actions. But, overall, this had too many holes in it.

2 stars

Many many moons ago when I graduated from a law school with a very high national ranking, I went to work as a newbie associate for a very large, well-established old firm. I was assigned to work for a partner who turned out to be the smartest lawyer in the firm. He was a real estate lawyer, but he'd gotten involved in several of the most interesting big business litigation cases because the partners handling them were glad to have his brilliant analytical help. Soon he had a full load of litigation in addition to his lucrative real estate practice. We were really, really busy. One day he asked me to file a certain motion with a name I'd never heard and a supporting memo in a case where he was irritated at a ruling the judge had made. I'd never heard of this kind of motion. I couldn't find any reference to it in the state rules of civil procedure (or federal rules for that matter). A computerized lexis search (a brand new tool back in those days) found no decisions anywhere in the nation involving a motion with such a name. I told him that he couldn't file such a motion. He asked me why. I gave him a copy of the rules of civil procedure and said "it isn't authorized. It isn't even mentioned." He tossed the book back at me and said, "Show me in there where it says I can't file my motion." Uhhh, of course, I couldn't. There obviously wasn't a specific rule of procedure that said a motion with his name couldn't be filed. So we filed it and argued it. And he won! The moral of the story -- he wasn't a traditional litigator and wasn't restricted by that kind of thinking. If it wasn't explicitly prohibited, it must be permitted. He saw no reason not to file it, if he thought it helped his case. In your story, a pro se litigant is afforded a whole lot of leeway to make mistakes. A judge will bend over backward to give him a chance to represent himself even when he makes a mess of the rules -- at least until he repeatedly abuses the privilege. In this case, your protagonist could likely even invent and file a "Motion to have Wife declared Jealous Crazy Women" and get a hearing date. The judge at the hearing would patiently explain that his motion wasn't appropriate, but in so doing he would have been made aware that our protagonist had a lot of evidence arguing to the judge that the bitch be crazy. Point made. ;-)

Entertaining so 5 stars. Need a second chapter to answer the questions: Settlement results on the old boyfriend/spy, settlement results on wrongful termination from previous job, his mother needs to grovel before forgivness, sister in law needs some comeupness, his job need to flourish and his old boss's business needs to fail, his ex-wife needs to get together with wimpy boyfriend so she can go bat shit crazy on him resulting on the daughter getting full time with dad and his new wife. /

For your creativity. Thanks.

I thought for sure there would be a problem with the DNA report

A fun little romp.

As always.

I don't know about the legalities, but as you explained, this is a very small town where everyone knows everyone's business so readers are able to suspend believe enough to enjoy a good yarn.

I gave it 4 stars and would like to say I really enjoyed it for what it was a fast funny story with a little drama. Don't worry too much about the critics take their criticism for the same thing you charged them to read your story nothing!

He married an aardvark, and told himself she was a normal human being. She's acted pretty much like an aardvark since he married her. And why does he divorce her? Because she's acting exactly like the mentally disturbed person she was, is, and always will be.

Guess its her fault she's fucked up. Who's fault is it he has a fucked up wife?

Yeah.

He should divorce himself.

I like skips stories, generally they are an easy read.

I'm not a lolyer, but it's so easy to remember which is which.

Slander, spoken words (S)

Libel, letters, something written down (L)

While she was talking shit it was slander, but the 1st email made it libel too.

of the paternity test??????

Bruce Dickinson is STILL the lead singer of Iron Maiden.

Don't know what may you think he was in the band only during the 80's... but, rest assure: he remains where he belongs.

I liked it. *****

Great story! Ben played them all and caught Esther in her own web. During for slander was too good. Love your entire story.

After all this was just fiction, not a docudrama. To coin a phrase.

The comment which at present is preceding mine (shown as Anonymous Feb 15 2020) complains about the two stoplight town not being big enough to support a business or have a large law firm.

A two stoplight town might be questionable, but that's not what the story said. It said count the stoplights on two hands. I've lived in a town where you can count the stoplights on two hands that didn't have a large firm, but by small town standards 9 lawyers was plenty big, certainly big enough for we as lawyers not to have to be generalists doing things beyond the areas of law we knew well. It was also certainly big enough to have multiple shops that each had at last two people doing computer repairs.

The comment made a good point in that it would be really unusual for him to hire his own assistant, but my only real problem with the story was having the male protagonist idiotic enough to move back in and have sex with this particular ex.

I guess it was not clear in my mind if she slept with her old boyfriend during their divorce, or even afterwards. If she did it makes her a hypocrite and so good riddance, if she didn't it makes her tragically crazy.

Either way I think that guy will be happy not having to walk on egg shells everyday from now on.

Enjoyed immensely

@Anonymous Re: Back story - I agree completely. They're married, so obviously they met, dated and got married. In RARE cases, there might have been something in their dating that was a precursor to their married relationship, but otherwise, "I'm X and have been married to Y for Z years" tells us all we need to know.

@Anonymous Re: Grammar Nazis - Grammar rules aren't something made up to trip up writers, they are there to make writing clearer. If a reader has to go back and re-read passages to make sense out of what was written, it takes them out of the story, and lessens their enjoyment.

...the results of the daughter's DNA test? Did I miss it? Anyway very good story as usual from this writer. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Bitch of a wife. Gone not too soon.

I enjoyed it until he moved back home. Best to finish the story while ahead. Sorry but it was 5* until then.

What were the results of the DNA test ! ?

IMO there is nothing wrong with LR stories that are RAAC. Most stories on here are

Cuckhold or BTB !

I enjoyed the heck out of this story.

Easily 5 stars.

Icing on the cake was the comment by (retired?) lawyer Anonymous 02/15/20, titled "This old lawyer liked..." which seemed to put the imprimatur of approval on the legal aspects -- which actually were an important feature of the story.

Paul in Oklahoma

Some novel twists to the storyline but it was entertaining.

What wasn't clear to me was why the ex-boyfriend agreed to do this? Was he already getting "paid"?

Was a nice story but for one big MISS. In open court Monty confessed to the fake photo. Ben lost his job due to the libelous fake picture that led others to commit slander, irregardless if it was intended as a joke. Why didn't Ben sue Monty's ass off? Per the story Monty got off with no pain continuing to be Esther's boyfriend (and may have been tapping her too). Ben not going after Monty was out of Ben's character.

.

Unless Skippy you want the readers to see Ben was actually in Monty's debt for giving him the method to dump the psycho jealous ex-wife? If so it did not lead us there.

.

The story finally got to the right conclusion for Ben and Bonnie.

Not bad.She was one silly bitch,having practically got him back,she does something stupid.

Hot Damn, a lawyer who actually makes sense!!! That's as far down the comments that I read so Skippy it looks like you did ok. As far as thinking outside of the box goes, in the real world folks should track down The late, great Bill Veeck's book's; 'Veeck As In Wreck', 'The Hustler's Handbook' and '30 Tons A Day'. In 'Wreck' he also gives both his and his wife's opinions on being handicapped although that is a word he refused to use. Good change up on the plot lines, I don't give a rat's ass about legal here I just enjoyed it for being fun and different. I just would never have left myself open by moving back in and I knew mine was bat shit crazy. Signed: BTW

"I almost shook my head off. She had never shaved her public hair during our marriage." Once again, people, one SHAKES ones head NO. One NODS ones head YES. Don't want to beat up on Skippy, I'm just tired of seeing this screw up.

I so agree with you. This was a funny story.

She made an ass of herself

When first we practice to become a stupid woman

Skippys best story and I found it Very Funny .

So she fucked monty then for payback?

She still trusted monty after he lied and provided her with fake pictures that caused this in the first place?

For me there was too much legal nonsense that was totally unnecessary to the plot, with the whole story farcical. I liked the idea, just thought the writer went too far over the top with it, especially with it being unnecessary to the plot.

I wonder if his legal efforts would work? I do like the idea.

As for her, reaching out to the BF to spy on the husband shows the marriage will never work.

I loved what you did here. The whole story was so ridiculous and over the top funny. Thanks for a good laugh!!! Most of your commenter just don't understand good humor. Thanks for a great read. 5 Stars!!!

Great story! Loved it, lol. 25 stars! Okay, how about 5 stars?

I liked it.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The whole jealousy angle is very original and I like it. Most stories would have ended with the divorce, but continuing it and allowing her jealousy to break them up again was a very good touch.

Good story in the btb category.

The only thing I didn't like was that he went back to her at first because the "little head" ruled. He should have ruined her.

I like this story.

Thanks

Enjoyed it. A fun read

A great story that was fun to read. Would have enjoyed a little more misery for Esther and Monty in the end.

Five stats

Jealousy is frequently a deadly thorn in a marriage.

Nice story. Like it a lot. AAAAA++++

Actually this story was rather 👍good:)

What about the paternity test?

Hey man, don't worry about it!

It was a good yarn!!

I only really get into negative critique when the premise, characters, logical ability to suspend disbelief and stretched beyond the absurd. Gross spelling and punctuation errors and failure to proof read also move me to subtract stars.

You my friend get 5!

Really liked your approach. Would have enjoyed another half page!

Should have gotten her to admit outright that she was still fucking Monty

Obviously Bonnie isn't his kid

First time I've enjoyed a vexatious litigant. 5 stars.

Thought he was going to sue Monty,what happened to that?.

obviously Monty taught her how to swallow and had her shave her snatch.

Missing the aftermath.

Advice: Don't be too hard on the critics (or at least on most of them) because (a) some do seriously want to help with the writing and have good. suggestions; or (b) they really do not have any idea how to create a story as good as the one you have written—they can't hep their ignorance.

Fucking awesomely hilarious. Lotta' fun.

Avoid narcissism, jealousy and crazy. Watch for "crazy eyes". If everyone in the picture looks like they are focused on something and he or she look like they are focused on nothing, run.

Vexatious litigant? That is one spectacular phrase.