by ohio
Thank you for a strong husband figure that isn't turned on by the betrayal of his wife. I hope that you continue to have him be strong and not be wimpy.
Please, keep it going at the same caliber, and do not take long. It is getting complicated with all those unfinished stories one should keep track of.
Thanks.
Echoing the others, it is particularly pleasing to see a new author of talent choose to write a story of consequence.
You are appreciated for the professional work and the theme. As you know it is an emotional one fraught with the need for reality and lifelike reason. Without those facets it can easily turn into a less than credible effort.
Take your time to do it right - to your satisfaction and standards as it is a complex arena with much reader emotion and examination.
Again, a great start - thanks for your talent, time and theme - with high Regard thus far
A good start with the posibilites of being a classic. Please continue.
An interesting and powerful start. The story is the main focus and it looks very promising. Nice "hook" at the end to keep our attention whetted for the next chapter.
Very well written. Love the theme, husband not a weak, spineless wimp and NOT turned on by wife's infidelity. I just hope that the author doesn't make us wait too long for further installments.
A fun story that tracks pretty well. I enjoyed it and I am looking forward to the next chapter.
This is some of the best writing I've seen on Literotica. This author is doing a great job setting up this story.
Often the writers go on and on at the preliminary stages of the story about the husband's business---dry,dry,dry, but here the reader is prodded on by hints of things to come (no pun intended).
Hopefully the rest of the story will equal the quality of the beginning.
It has everything to be a very good story. My only problem is the trend of late to submit small segments of a story. This chapter could have easily had twice the content. I just feel it is a bit cruel to stop the story at a point that is not a natural place to pause. That is my personal take, but I really enjoyed what there was of the story.
Like everyone else who's commented, I can't wait to see the next one. It's such a pleasure to read something this well-written.
I especially liked the part right up front that dispelled any ideas of a wimp-hub cum eating cuckold. Very refreshing.
Good writing, Fact introducing, dissecting of info and presenting it to the reader. Excellent.
Afterthought: Cheating wives should always rinse out those panties after an evening out and should always invest $1.79 in a disposable Summer's Eve douche to get rid of that salty taste in her pussy.
Please don't make us wait long for the net chapter. And, please don't make this man a wimp or a cuckold. So far it well done. Vastie
Very well written, can't hardly wait for Chap. 2. After hearing his side, would be interested in hers.
Your characters seem so real, and they are reacting as one would think most people would do.
I am not in agreement with the comments above about his not playing the wimp being a good thing. Please continue, and I for one hope she keeps cheating, he stays with her, and she even gets pregnant presenting him a lovechild to raise.
Good start...keep it realistic and moving.
If I suspected my spouse of being sore "there" I think I would
surprised her with my hand down there...before she realized it
and then if she yelped, I would want to know WHY!!
Other than that, keep it coming.....Dave
confirm he wasn't a cum eating cuckold, that both of them talked about an open marriage and came to a conclusion that they didn't want it. It adds more depth into his wife's betrayal.
Thanks!
I agree with most of the other comments, as far as it being refreshing that he doesn't suddenly want to watch his wife with her lover. And the title itself is like a glimpse of what might happen...houses made of cards tend to fall into a heap.
I can't wait to read your next chapter. Don't rush it, but don't keep us waiting, either!
Great start though and I'm curious to read more...
It was a great start. As mentioned early, they discussed an open marriage, and both were against it. It is great to see a normal guy act realistically. He certainly can get the panties tested for cum, but what about DNA (if it is possible)? I'm waiting to see where you take the story. I hope you keep it realistic: i.e. either a long, and difficult road to reconcilliation or a divorce. I seriously wonder how the parents of a cheater feel, and how they treat their immoral child.
I really loved your story and I have no problem with multipart stuff, but gosh - don't stop it where you did. All you have done is lay the groundwork and then you left us hanging. What a shame.
I agree. I hate when authors do that!
Write your story and then submit it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well-written and realistic. As others have commented this is a normal man's response. (He isn't a weirdo who gets off on having some other gut fucking his wife.)
But let's see how things turn out
Doris in Indiana
Well written story and a nice job of building up the suspence relative to --is she cheating or isn't she?I wonder if he is not building up a fragile house of cards based on a sore ass and a dirty thong.She may be cheating but I wouldn't call that conclusive proof. His house of cards may collapse if she has reasonable explanation. If she is cheating and has any brains, she would not leave thong sitting around for him to find. 60 year old George
now take her to the cleaners ... and get yo usome new pussy also ... after all you deserve it just to see what youvebeen missing ...she didnt wait so why should you get your evidence and hang her ass out to dry
Now that this series is coming to its resolution, I'm re-reading it to validate, in my mind at least, what a good series it is.
This first chapter did an excellent job of laying the broad outlines of the type of marriage Tom & Marianne have; how Tom believes they are totally devoted to each other with fidelity being a highly valued commodity.
Tom isn't clueless, he's trusting. Suddenly, everything he believes to be true is brought into doubt - love, fidelity, trust.
And then you leave the reader hanging for the next chapter. Despite what some of the other critics said, this is an excellent buildup and by holding off on the next installment for a day or so serves to build the tension (and attention) of the reader.
Looking forward to many more such offerings from you in the future.
An work colleague got into debt and worked nights for a shady 'escort' service to pay it off. That is she waited in the bar at an airport hotel until her mobile told her which room to go to for a trick. On a good night she serviced half a dozen mugs. She never showed signs of a sore cunt. I've never made a woman sore and many have been ready for more when I had to admit exhaustion.
and it seemd time for a re-read with the passage of time.
Like Patricia said, the emotions were well done. The first several paragraphs were almost lyrical.
The idea of putting a name to the "honeymoons" was novel ... and a good way to introduce her infidelity.
Short, but excellent start.
Regards, DJ
Trust is a voluntary thing. i trust you because I have decided to do so (as after your betrayal and after your demonstration of personal change) or because you have given me no reason to distrust you. In either case, I trust because I have chosen to do do.
In this story, the husband is stressed because he loves her and because he doesn't trust her. So he limps along unable to decide what to do, prolonging the agony for all.
His wife got professional assistance, but he didn't. Why? He missed the opportunity to learn about trust as a free choice.
Therapy is intended to help one solve a problem, and he definitely has a problem.
I don't think a real man would pass up an opportunity to get help in solving a serious problem. A wimp might, or an immature person might, or someone who mistakes macho for intelligence and maturity might.
Too many of these authors reduce the value of an otherwise excellent story by failing to portray the aggrieved person as courageous and smart enough to recognize their inadequacy and to request help. Hence, they come off as selfish, preferring to nurture their own pain to finding a solution to the pain of the whole family - including innocent children of the marriage.
So, when the aggrieved person fails to get help, the story seems to be an unrealistic one, or a realistic one about a less-than-admirable aggrieved party.
This was a very good story, by the way. Keep it up!
Rich
A good first chapter and has set up the theme of the story.
The characters are well defined and sympathy for the husband is very strong.
Thanks for the read.
That is BS so I rated it 1* Gorgeous is a 18 year old beauty. 38 is an old hide that only old men would even look at twice.
So beauty can only be 18 years old? Man, you do talk rubbish. You clearly have not heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
But that is not the main point. The main point is that you have just trashed someones hard work - done for your FREE entertaimment - because their ideas of being gorgeous are not yours. I notice that you haven't submitted any stories to the site, but if you did have the talent to write how would you feel if someone voted your story down because your main character was blonde and they preferred brunettes? You're an idiot, keep your stupid immature ideas to yourself and don't slag off any more stories simply because they don't match your own preferences.
I have to disagree also with the comment, that you cannot trash a story, because the writer wrote it for free. Of course that is correct, but the comment section is for praising as well as critizising. As long as you dont call anyone names, writing that a story is crap is fair game.
Trashing a story is fair game, and if someone leaves a comment then trashing a commenter is fair game as well. If you don't want to be trashed then don't allow comments or submit comments.
I agree that comments - even critical ones - are fair game here. Authors learn from good critique, and most have a thick enough skin (or develop one :) ) that the occasional slam is OK.
Maybe it's like the difference between booing and heckling a comedian in a club. Hecklers go beyond expressing displeasure or disapproval and try to become the focus of attention, to the detriment of the performer and the rest of the audience.
I've done my share of "booing" here, but I hope I've never heckled an author.
Yes they get back together, husband is a masochist
At setting a scene or potraying a mood or angst. You are also the best at writing an interesting set of circumstances to make the reason for cheating believable. Marrianne loved her husband with all of her soul. Please write this story from her point of veiw to help us better understand.
If that deviant motherfucker told me he wanted to fuck my wife, he'd be leaving the party on a stretcher. Of course, I make sure everyone knows how I feel about such things by the way I treat my wife and any man who tries to horn in on her.
He's got the cum-encrusted panties. He's got her "Honeymoons" face and her refusal to let him see her pussy that night.
It might not be evidence that would hold up in court, but she would either have to admit it and they can talk about it, or she can lie about it and he knows he's dealing with a lying, cheating slut!
Our mental needed person, dear annony is at it again! read and vote 1. he is really fucked up in the head. If he bitches about a story then you know it's most likely great
Unless jyou are matt moreau fan or enjoy having a wife who willingly wantonly and eagerly betrays you to the point of screwing lower so hard she is to sore to celebrate your anniversary and she chose that situation
That when accused not only denies but is outraged
Though husband is suspicious she continues affair has no intention of stopping and abandons children to fuck lover
How ohio thinks his raac is acceptable is beyond me
Tag lines hint that husband gets even but wife had steamy and emotionally close affair for 8 months with no intention to stop-including numerous multiple days. Husband gets one weekend with stranger
Not even close to balancing scales
THOSE WHO CHOSE TO READ MORE OF THIS STORY BE WARNED-IF YOU LIKE CUCKOLDS AND SWAPPING KEEP READING
IF YOU DESPISE CHEATERS STOP HERE AS YOU WILL JUST BECOME MORE PERTURBED IF NOT OUTRIGHT ANGRY THAT OHIO WOULD INSULT YOU AS HE DOES
The wife is an unrepentant skank and husband basically just says oh well and takes her back
Her lover smirks away unharmed in anyway
He didn't even lick her panties to see if he might enjoy the taste of another man's juices mingled with hers. Unless he has a change in attitude, I can't see this working out. Not exactly shocking she cheated on him, given his actions so far.
Why taking so long, she cheated, so cuck or divorce and get over it. Me, I divorce her long ago.
story about a weak, needy LW husband who cucks out in a RAAC, althought it takes forever to get there.
This story would deserve a zero rating. There has not been as much as one single syllable to indicate a willingness to accept her probable cheating behind his back. They have discussed his views on cheating. She professed to be in agreement. His next move should be to get the divorce procedure started. Explain to trusted neighbors what is going on and seek their help in finding out who is visiting his wife. Purchase some voice activated recorders and motion activated cameras and tap his phone. But if they reconcile, you will get an awful grade.
He should have sealed that thong a plastic bag and put it in his suitcase immediately. Maybe some of the other commentators are right, he's a wimp. Otherwise, a good start.
detroitdave
He found her cum soaked thong and now he knows. Time to catch the bitch red handed!
I had the misfortune of read all the chapters in this shitty story. It's an RAAC story about a cuck and a cheating slut! Like this author is known for, the man has no self respect at all and his slut of a wife has no regard for anyone's feelings but her own. Not worth your time!
Great intro. Glad you got right to the point of the story. I hope you don't spend a lot of time ruminating in the past during the upcoming chapters.
Read 1st chapter then comment from Dlh143. Go no further. Should have known better than to bother with this author anyway
How pathetic. Make her tell you who she is fucking, then take the used thong and stuff it into her throat! Go find the other guy, and get rid of him too!
This author has really laid a huge steaming turd with this one folks. End comments are nearly totally negative in vehement ways. If you want a specialist in writing weak, no self respect, wusses for mc, then this writer is your man. This series is not different. Ten chapters of ridiculous raac that is much to far of a stretch to even make sense.
Shock. Personal betrayal so remote it never registered even though the subconscious was picking up clues but not piecing together the small patterns of discrepancies. But hindsight is 20/20.