by lover1988
Nicely scripted, great development. I have no urge to have sex with my sister, but
I enjoy the romance of these stories. I've been reading literotica stories for years and this is one of the best.
Thanks
such a wonderful story thank you.
I too would like to read more of this couple as they move through life.
I'm following your stories since the very begging and I must say you more than outdid yourself with this one. While there are still some problems I keep pointing out with your other stories (most obvious one is the flow of the dialogue) it's also very clear you spend a lot of time on this one and it produced great results. As the story progresses there are less and less stutters and the dialogue (and the story as a whole) takes on it intended natural flow, therefore delivering a great experience that sets it aside from your other works. It's almost as if the second half was written by someone else (no offence here), and while predictable (somehow my professional deformation knew there will be rape involved) it still made for more than enjoyable read. If you manage to transfer this style of writing and dedication into your other works then there is no stopping you in the quest for stardom on LE.
As things stand the story still has a lot of potential for the future, you could literally go anywhere you desire with as and I truly urge you to do so. Most people, me included, would of course like to see how they tackle the rest of the vacation and the challenges of life coming their way (coming out to the rest of the family and friends, getting their degrees and jobs, deciding where and how to live...). After so much time and effort it would be a shame to leave it here since it feels like their story is only half told, the trip isn't over yet and there are lots of rides and attractions left to visit.
5* without a doubt!
this is exactly what reading all stories should feel and be like..great job
A great romance between brothers. A great story, with a very good description of the feelings of love, without abusing explicit sex. One of the best stories in this section.
Congratulations to the author.
5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet and forever), is not my native language.
Five stars
Love the flow of the story. I agree that you need to continue the story which show the up most love, affection, and courage of two siblings. Mindmirror are my favorite authors and if you keep this up you'll be my second favorite. Rick
The story itself was good enough, but the writing was a bit sloppy. There were grammatical problems. There were subject-verb mismatches. I noticed a few rogue words. There was the point where mom asked Zoe how long they had been having sex, and Zoe said "yes". The dialog was not realistic.
Great story. Please continue their journey with their relationship and life.
As opposed to 5am in the afternoon?
"The female hostess..."
"I sentence you to as agreed..."
Stupid little things like the above drove me nuts with this - I had to abandon it.
Maybe work with an editor. Get it straightened out and repost.
I liked the story but the author clearly wasn't a Columbia graduate. The story was long and cumbersome. The grammar was atrocious which didn't help.
The story did drag a bit, I liked that it started with their trip, and then moved to how things happened. There were issues with grammar/missing or misused words. However, I wouldn't use the word atrocious to describe it. Maybe suggest a closer look once more right before you're ready to submit it and try to read it as though you've never read it before. I gave it 5 stars, though I would have preferred if I could give it 4.5. I thought well of the story so rounded up instead of down. Thank you for your time and the loving story.
I just Love this story. it kept me glued to my screen as every word just kept popping out to me. I'm no critic or someone who writes but i am a fan of good reading. And this story is such Great reading..
I enjoyed this as a love story. I find it horrid that crimes against women and children still happen. If I was in charge it would involve the death penalty!!!!!
I will admit that I don't generally like most of these stories if I even finish reading them. I really liked this one and generally felt for the characters...great imagination!
Couldn't get past 2 pages.
It feels like you were writing this for your school homework or something, desperately trying to reach the 500 words mark.
>70% of the stuff is absolutely redundant, useless parts with 0 substance.
This goes into one of my favorite reads, I'll enjoy reading it again later om