All Comments on 'I Lost My Best Friend'

I thought it worth a 5.

For the read.

What's with the little quips? There's just not enough here. I wish you'd go back to writing "stories" instead of outlines.

You did notice it's a flash story, right? What did you think that meant? At any rate, Slirpuff, good to read a new story from you. I look forward to the next one.

Excellent . This short flash tale says volumes. Great work.

Five Stars plus

I think it would have been ended more powerfully if you'd moved his internal monologue about the private investigator to a bit earlier in the story, and ended with the line about losing his best friend. Just an opinion. I'm always happy to see another of your stories.

Cog

Thank you for sharing. This is easily worth 5 stars.

...have said so much in a few short paragraphs. A little rougher than your longer efforts, but certainly an attention-grabber!

Felt like an amputation

A lot with a little.

Very nicely done.

Thx.

Good scene but not quite a story. Part 1.?

Thanks for the offering.

Slirpuff excels at writing narrator's who have extreme reactions. This was no exception but left me a little cold. They've made a life after starting from scratch ,raised kids and now she's ousted from his life for a one-time indiscretion ? Frankly, this might not be quite the tragic ending this hall of fame author intended.

I do admire how Slirpuff can write confrontational scenes between spouses,going thru rough patches. The ending wasn't my preferred flavor, but unquestionably I can refer to a dozen plus stories that Slirpuff has been kind ( and talented ) enough to share that have helped me in thrall from start to finish, for that I am in his debt.

Too Lazy?

Or do you just lack the creativity to write a complete story?

Great start, and a good beginning, but incomplete. And you don't sound like you have any intention of Finishing The Damn Story!

This story is pure number two, but I only gave you a number one.

talented and presents his stories well above average... Like above 95%... If you read and think of his presentation, whether you like or not... they are top drawer... same goes for this one... 5 stars

Just enough to tell the story...Of course people would like to know with whom, and what he'll do...but...all important details are in this story

No wasted words. The short story powerfully described tha scene where the husband lets his wife of 28 years know that he had learned of the affair she had with a man she considered her husband's best friend. Husband wants to know why but she lies and says it was a one time thing.

It'll want to know why. What kind of a relationship did they have? Who is David? What happened between them? You are a better writer than most publishing here. Please fill out the story.

There is no twist, nothing really clever in the writing. We see this confrontation in a thousand tales.

Not much to really enjoy.

is to find out why. But he walks away, since she refuses to answer the only question he had asked of her.

I see this flash story as a frame for the "I lost my best friend" bit. I thought it interesting that another commenter thought that line should have been the capper. However, I agree with Slirpuff. The ending note he sounded was better.

The message of learning how to go on WITHOUT your best friend.....

Now that is the thing.

One can be focused on the infidelity, the deception, the loss, and even the whys?, BUT, in the end, it becomes about learning how to go on without.

Thanks Slirpuff! Thanks for continuing on. Despite (at times) harsh comments, you still manage to persevere, and deliver heartfelt messages for the common man.

Perhaps heartfelt enough to inspire some thought and personal reflection in even the most stubborn of readers. I have always admired your work, and its innate power to make people think.

I'm not sure what Lit LW would do without you. For me, it would be like losing a best friend.............

Too sparse, (just like this comment?).

It's a huge stretch to call it a story. More like a photograph of a single moment a snap shot if you will. It just needed something more not sure what but the SS06 and FDs of this site would

I don't understand the need for wanting to know why. Name one excuse for your best friend and wife having an affair. There are only to factors, she's a slut, he's an asshole and neither of them were every in your corner. 5*

Flash story you said so I knew I had time to read it. You did a great job. Yes it was the closing scene, but that's what flash is all about.

Great job.

I

done that the same way you wrote it and am glad i did.

Glad to see your back....I hope.

If there was ever a good time to kill someone and then beat the shit out of the wife, this would be that time. Better DNA test them kids

I see authors using the "flash story" excuse to increase their story count and maintain their visibility on the site far too often. This isn't a "flash story", as it wasn't a story at all. It was a beginning to a story without an end. Or, perhaps more accurately, the middle of a story with no beginning or end.

This is laziness disguised as cleverness. And it is yet another example of an author placing a story in "Loving Wives" for no reason other than knowing that it will get a lot of views, votes and comments.

I now await the inevitable one-bombs and name-calling from the loyal BTB Brigade for daring to speak the truth.

100% right. This isn't worth the paper its printed on.A flash story? More like flash paper.

I enjoy slirpuff stories but these last two had to be written by someone who hacked his account.

Horrid, simply horrid

I remember using that line. Among others. A very good flash. Sounds like he lost his two best friends. If he is that determined re NO RAAC, the author has no need to continue this story.

But it was weak. You're an excellent writer and this was below your standards. Maybe a rewrite is in order where you can add the beginning, middle and ending.

More flash scene than flash story. Maybe I'm wrong, but for me, the title refers to the wife and not her fuck buddy.

Short and sweet. A lot better than a long drawn out story of 8 pages that goes over the same dialog over and over again. Good job , please post again soon.

A flash story is under 800 words. You pick a topic and tell a story. Any author can tell a story in 3 to 5,000 words. He can draw it out, draw you in and give the details of how he found out, got his revenge and fucked the other guys wife. Try doing it in less than 800...

This story sets the definition for minimalist.

He comes in, minimally confronts her, she responds with the cheaters credo, and he packs and runs away. Feelings are described but not really felt. Nothing of interest going on here.

Even flash should have the pop of a bulb going off to illuminate the scene.

This is not your usual work. I like short stories, but this was way to short. I know you can do better.

Love your stories with your concept and actions of your participants. My only comment even though I know some stories are intended to be simple and to the point, I tend to like expansion and follow up to know what the couples intend and attempt to do with their future. More closure, I guess , one way or the other. I am a sucker for love-lost, love - found, reconciliation stories. Thanks

Brevity is the soul of wit. Thank you for another great story.

Short and sweet. Great flash story especially the ending. how would you live without your best friend of 3 decades?

All you need to weave your own facts around.

I enjoyed this flash story. To LSD SHE said it was a one time indiscretion. He said or thought to himself she was lying and made mental reference to the PI report. So cheating and lying both before and after being caught was reason enough for him to leave.

Hell, this wasn't even a story, it was the intro to something that never came. I'm on this site to get turned on when I read something that's not on the "non-erotic" field. Where's the sex?

is brutal and forever alive. TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm always tickled when I stumble across one of the giants at Lit to shoot something out, flash, novel, or chain story. Be it you, Brittease, Ohio, D G Hear, Daniel Steele or anyone of all the creative contributors that I've come to look forward to whenever I drop by Lit World ( I started hanging out with Laurel and Manus' crowd back in the late nineties).

A true indicator of how well you've done is the amount of comments each submission generates.

From the amount of response this little jewel has garnered, I think you hit a Mazeroski Home Run in the bottom of the ninth against Whitey Ford.

Way to go

SliperyRox

who needs something that is not started and not ended as well ?

this is like somebody who is telling a joke and starts in the middle and ends it there and waits for all the listeners to applaud

We know it's you, FLClap.

You're as boring anon as when you post under a name.

How about opening the entire vista. This is a good beginning...but...how about...More?

Best one posted in loving wives today. Short and to the point, as the author says, it's a flash story with less then 800 words. Not an easy feat. Keep on posting please, this category needs to be revived, too many trashy stories to wade through. Thanks. (ML) 5*

I loved the story. But you should look more carefully at how your last two paragraphs contradict each other. First he says he will be back for the rest of his stuff, and in the next paragraph he dramatically says that he is leaving the house for the last time.

You hit this one out of the park!

I wanted to write a comment to a story that I am tired from stories where the best friend of the husband is the lover of the wife. I was wrong............5*****

I hope to see you writing like your old self again!

Chapter II please, Sir Slirpuff!

I could read more....but my mind is racing with possibilities, so great job. Still what if he......

But a very sad story. I would like to know what brought all of his sorrow on.

Thanks for the read.

he lost two friends at the same time.

Like your stories

nice and quick story. but it left alot to figure out on your own. just how many times she deceived him. and if he would do anything to his former friend

Slirpuff nice short story but I love to read this story In at a four pages long. Knowing what led to this affair and his personal life up to the time of discovery. If that is something you can do I am sure us readers would I joy it. Thank for all those yrs and stories you wrote.

Not actually a story, no plot or character arc, just a bland "here's some shit that happened" with no reason for us to care.

Except it was about a man leaving his wife, so everyone better rate it five stars! Never mind that it is dull and uninteresting, we gotta save lw from all the actual erotica people write here!

You're a good writer, so I wish you wouldn't do this.

This isn't a flash story; it's snippets from a flash story. "Like 10 dead in chemical factory explosion. Details at 11."

You can use your imagination to fill in the spaces.. Loved it!

Not bad, but I have some quibbles. First, I'm not sure why Sweetie's tone should go from angry to concerned for no reason (yet). Just plain 'concerned' would have protected the 'surprise ending' a little better. Hearing Hubby's thoughts further presaged the denouement.

Finally, I think it might have thrown Sweetie off just a little more if Hubby had said something like "I just found out last night that, for several months, my TWO best friends have been cheating on their spouses!" (Assumes Davey-Bull is also hitched - so far!)

Also, the last five 'paragraphs' are anticlimactic.

4*

Straight to the point. Not every story has to be drawn out with a lot of unnecessary words. It was interesting how the mood changed from his cheating wife. There was no shouting, no whining, no harsh btb sentiments, just why and good bye. Yep, it would have made a great full story but for what it was, I'll accept it. Glad you're back writing again. Always like the majority of your stories and never fail to read them. Thanks.

If this is what Loving Wives is about, no wonder I can't often be bothered with it. This is a bit of mental indigestion - not even masturbation. Too bad Lit doesn't allow half votes.

Rubbish. Sentimental twaddle older than the hills. 1*

so guys writing about crappy wives and their sad sob tales have a place to post, other than in the Loving Wives section, which should only have hot stories about hot wives, not stories of sad betrayal and any lack of insight into what they may have done to lead to the unhappy state.

To the complainers anom and all: he said this is a flash story.. short to the point... You were warned in the beginning so no crap about being to short or incomplete.

To others Don't like it... Write your own piece and see if you can even hold a candle to these writers you critizize. Constructive critique and opinion is greatly appreciated by these authors but stupid shit most likely make them laugh or moan at the morons online..

To the others that think slirpuff stink to high heaven.. don't get your self work up.. Stay away from his work.. It will do wonders for your blood pressure.

I graded this a 4 compare to your other works.

Kudos Sir Slirpuff

MF

But could have been much better, if longer and more detailed. Author, what was your rush? If you didn't have time to write a proper story, with adequate character development and proper presentation of details, and most importantly, detailed dialog between the husband and wife, filled with emotion, then why did you bother to post at all? "Flash story" = Lazy, abortion of a story.

And to the "Need Another Section" anon who posted on 9/12, no new section is needed. Bullshit stories about "hot" wives and the pathetic wimps who love them belong on Jerry Springer, or in the "Fetish" section of this site. Stories about men who are betrayed by a woman belong in LW.

Very well written little scene.

Wasted effort with out a story. Thank You but I would rather have a story!

AMerryMan

As flash story's go this I felt was very good. As someone who reads of course I would like to see a larger more developed plot and characters. As it is it is very well done. Thanks.

After reading your flash story it reminded me of my own divorce. I felt pretty much like the guy in your story only I did not use a private dick I had all off VA beach to let me know and give me proof. After It was over all I could feel was alone without my best friend in the world.

Once again, Slirpuff, good start.

I eagerly await to read the rest of your story.

My wife of 28 years died on Feb 02 2014. I lost my best friend that day...Waiting for the end of the story. I really enjoy your work

over. There doesn't need to be a second part. This was just a snapshot, not a photo album. Well done.

He lost 2 best friends! Now they can hook up. He ends up the loser,twice!

he just learnt she doesn't give a shit. Message received. TK U MLJ LV NV

So long,

farewell,

Auf wiedersehen,

good night

goodbye my friends. goodbye

great twist at the end. Five stars.

I wanted to know what he did but then thought why. He lost both of his best friends. Even so i could only give it a 3.

But this was not a flash story. A flash chapter, maybe, but a story, no. Really, it was just a scene, where she learns he knows, and still tries to lie her way out of it, and then he walks away. It was something to witness as a reader, but we know too little to care about the characters. So in the end we really don't care about the story.

A puzzling last story from this author. Maybe somewhat autobiographical?

the story was not long enuff

My wife ran away with my best friend and I miss him

Story needs more details.

28 Years invested only to cheat and blow it up? Well, so what? Almost no one is truly "best friends" with their spouse, especially after 28 years of marriage, compromises, and outright subjugation. The constant struggle for control, money, love of the children is nothing if not wearing. Most people reach a point of inertia, a point where they ending a marriage is such a pain, it is easier to stay married. At that point, they may still have thoughts of fucking around but they keep them to themselves - it simply is not worth the trouble. For those stupid enough to cheat, well you are better off without them in your life.

We don't learn why, how, what, when, or where? Normally I like Slirpuff but this was just a pathetic lazy teaser for a story. A 5 minute commercial for a 3 hour movie.

Sorry, but the thought and effort you put into this was about as minimal as you can get so as far as I'm concerned, that's what it deserves. The minimum score. I don't usually give out 1 stars but in this case it's well deserved.

that all? not a story.

I can't beleave all the negative comments.

Let's start simple, first it's a free story on a free site. Next the author at least took the effort to create something, but all you cry babies only cry about grammar or how the husbands are stupid, but the clincher Is "that couldn't happen in real life". Well duh, it's a friggen made up story!

If you cry babies are so great then why don't you write your own stories, but no you won't for that would take too much effort on your part.

Personally, the slut and so-called-best friend would have been eliminated from the gene pool as to not further contaminate the remaining wimps, sluts and want-to-be authors like Bt2/vastie. Now that idiot (Bt2/vastie) really deserves to be jettisoned out to a space vacuum (it is not like the pathetic excuse of a human being would suffer because you can damage the retarded more that nature already has).

find out the truth and then act and verify what time Greyhound leaves/ TK U MLJ LV NV

because he did the right thing and walked...

And simple it wasn't him and her against the world any longer it was him and she was the rest of the world.

but better by far than many longer and krappier tales we endure these days on literotica!

He should have burned then both down, then left.

to take more care in choosing wives and friends.

A flash story really is a complete story. This was just a chapter, were the husband confronts the whore. But we have no idea why she did it, for how long, was there some end game, who was the seducer, etc. Not even a dimly lit story, much less a flash.

OK- the premise is good. Strong start. Kinda weak in the middle should have "fleshed" out David- was he the best friend? Or was it the wife? What about Davids wife? (If any). Then the end was indeed weak; needed a lot more "flesh" to put in it's bones to make it "solid". Then expand it maybe into a second chapter, and maybe a 3rd. This has great potential

Burn that bitch and her lover down. Scorched Earth on their lives and let them know the full cost of what they did.

Would have liked a bit more,eg did he burn the slut and kick the shit out of his former best mate.

It woulda been nice if the author had written a whole story instead of just basically a premise. I know he coulda, because I’ve seen other stuff he’s written and most of it at least has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. As far as “Shoulda”, I shouda just passed over this one instead of wasting two minutes reading it.