by jack_straw
...has been mentioned in the New Story Review thread in the Author's Hangout.
A very nice piece if writing. Enjoyed it tremendously. Keep it up!
That you still write one hell of a story. This is a fine romance, just what is needed at Valentines. Keep up the good work.
The ability to deliver is more important than flowery words, imagination and sexual descriptions.
It requires the whole package plus the experience and confidence to paint pictures and evoke emotions.
Thanks Author
With Very High Regard
good reading,,, heartache, sorrow, re-focus, redemption, family building, loving-building,,,, good little story,,,
"I had just broken up with yet another girlfriend -- check that, she'd just broken up with me. There is a difference."
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All those years ago before I got married I understood that difference all to well. In those few words you captured years of angst.
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Sometimes miracles do happen - Stella sounds like a keeper.
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Congrats on your readers choice award on this story - well deserved!
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Regards, Jack
I saw this recommended somewhere and this is the first story I have read of yours. It was so nice to read a story that felt realistic. Your male character is a real woman's fantasy and it was nice to see your female character make healthy choices for herself. We have real grown ups here and what is more erotic than that? Leighlilly
What a tremendous variety of plots and characters Jack! I'm so enjoying your stories. I hope you keep up the great work. [Gualterio]
This was a truly beautiful story. How two people were at the right place at the right time for each other. Thank you for writing a truly touching story.
Gotta love a "right place, right time" story. My personal story is loosely similar. I worked in TV and my wife was a teacher. I'd been in a very bad marriage and she'd had her share of dead end relationships. This was a fun read. Thanks
Sorry, this was supposed to be a story?
It's not.
Half is a bloody summary. I heard somewhere the golden rule for successful writing is "show, don't tell".
Congratulations, you actually spent the first half telling.
There is no sense of discovery as we see her for the first time, not tension, no drama, no dialogue. She's well read? How about a nice little dialogue of her citing authors or poets? of them actually discussing something?
Ah, I get it, this bores you. The only developped scene is the sex scene. The rest is just a summary to reach the goods.
Sex story is like sex. You need a lot of foreplay to put the readers in the mood.
Here, you rushed the foreplay. You shoved a litterary dildo in our brain's pussy hoping to get us wet.
This was not romance, this was erotic coupling. We do not see them fall in love. We are told they do.
A shame, the writing style was above average.
FoxAlban
I loved every moment spent reading this. What a truly sweet story and hot sex too! Thank you for writing this. I was surprised by the line "rusty crackle of my cum", lol. Out of context, not sexy, but it worked!
Lovely and nice story.
I really believe in the fact that's you can find your couple in the most unexpected place (believe me, that's happens me with my wife in a train).
5* for you.
I apologize for my English, is not my native language.
A sweet little romance to brighten the day of anyone who reads it. Thanks!
The rules; "none of this" was also to be seen in "McLintock" [John Wayne].