All Comments on 'I Thought She Made You Up Ch. 05'

I'm really enjoying this! Great characters, realistic dialog. Maybe Jimmy is a little too "Chuck Norris" at times, but other than that, this one has held my attention. I can't wait for the next installment.

I don't want to be impatient, but PLEASE bring on chapter 6 soon

You brought tears to my old eyes when Joanne was dying and that is not easy to do. The threesome is proving to be an unequal triangle, which is usually the case and as you hint, it will come apart. I would like to see him end up with Amy, but that does not seem likely from your last lines.

This is by far the best chapter of this series. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to the resolution with CeCe.

I sure hope you don't take too long to share the next chapter. This is one of the really good stories. Please don't keep us waiting impatiently for the next chapter.

I would have thought. I dipped into it because if the biker connection - and find myself actually liking the story. It is well written; no simple mistakes in grammar or punctuation. Thanks.

I started into this chapter, and quit. Went back and started with chapter one. Glad I did....remember how you opened it? He was a Department Dean and was married to Amy with two children....this last chapter seems like the launching board to close the loop...to have CeCe walk out and for him to finally realize he loves Amy more. So, as the others have all said: "get busy!"

Last November I lost my father to cancer. I am fortunate enough to work for a company that allowed me to be with my father for the last 4 weeks. The way you described Joanne’s passing, without all the gory details but still being able to capture the raw feeling had me crying. It is hard for people to understand what is like to watch someone you love decline this way but you did an honest heartfelt job. My thanks.

Forgot I read the first chapter. Tonight I read all 5. Waiting for more.

A product of a sick mind. 1* !

Or should I say "Annie?" Was she Annie # 387? Or did she not make the cut? ;-)

Why do you keep reading these stories if they are so against your grain? I'll tell you...even though you don't like the story line, they are so well written and the characters so believable, that you're sucked in to the next one. Annie, your "mouth" says 1*, but your actions say 5! (All of me says 5!)

Q - I love the blend of humor into your stories!

Of course, the beginning of Ch 1 pretty much told us that!

Gonna be interested in seeing what kept them apart for 25 years, and how she didn't know Amy was married if she was married for 29 years, or 4 years before CeCe left.

and it's not the devil, if anything it's smiles and appreciation for how well your characters ring true.

"

It was the first car she had ever owned. It took her three tries to get out of the driveway because she started crying every time she got in it.

"

Just made me smile and shake my head. Wonderful characters.

Usually I can handle the scene transitions. They are not always easy to follow, which is not good for story flow, but there was one transition that SUCKED: The night he is to take CeCe's virginity she says to go out for an hour. He leaves, goes to the bar and there's this long ass description of him settling things with Bear... and staying for four hours.

Here's how that scene transitions from the bar back to 'that night':

"

After that night, whenever Bear would start to get out of hand Amy would grab his cheek and start scolding him like a child. Invariably he would calm down. Everyone thought it was tremendously funny, but no one laughed in front of him.

I came home to candlelight and soft music. Ce was in a baby doll, a very, very, sheer blue, my favorite color. There was a wine bottle and glasses beside the table, and half the bottle was gone.

"

Where the hell is the indicator that he wasn't there for hours?

I re-read and found the line about it being two weeks after moving up and blah blah blah, but all that information was a huge derailing from the plot-line of CeCe's virginity night.

Put that scene earlier or later, but these disruptions between him leaving and coming back and no marker to show scene transitions are just jarring and disrupt the story terribly.

If nothing else, a simple use of

...

between scene transitions would at least give some idea.

The finishing line really didn't surprise me at all... but it still sucked reading it.

Again, nice job with the characters.

J

Bittersweet.

It's building, very nice setup. This is sad

This Person is a Great Writer in this Chapter .. He has everyone wondering what will Happen next . Great Job

Once again the knife gets twisted and emotions run high with death of a friend. Excellent plotting and writing.

I can see this little fantasy ending badly too. CeCe has too many jealousy/Anger issues. Eventually she would cheat as revenge for some imagined slight. Break it off and marry Amy!!!

It's late, I'm tired, but I just can't put down this "book". So, on to the next chapters.

Excellent building of the suspense. Hope: Dump CeCe and stick with Amy if you want yo be happy.

5*

BJ

Holy crap!!! Seems like the brown stuff is about to hit the air circulating device. Guess it was nice while it lasted but wonder where it will go from here. Guess I'll have to read the next chapter to see. Funny how that works, lol.

Somebody critiqued that Cece had too many anger and jealousy issues, I think thats wrong. She has had too many years of being privileged, entitled, arrogant and acting like a snobbish bully and has been encouraged in all of these nasty traits by her wealthy parents, especially her father. No getting past the evilness and bad habits these traits will engender, and an infinitesimal chance of anyone growing or maturing out of a lifetime of being and acting privileged arrogant entitled or of the need to be seen as right and having your ass kissed at all times. rk

Cece is doing the whole entitled thing. It's the worst thing a parent can do to a child let them grow up believing they are entitled to anything. I believe this is going along the lines of Cece leaves them for the high life and rich husband. Jimmy and Amy fall in love and marry and have a good life. Cece comes back years later and maybe the 3 of them rekindle their relationship. Of course I've no doubt got this completely wrong 😆 BardnotBard

The best Q story, it just depends on what one I'm reading at the time! Thank you sir - 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

How come he loves a stuck up bitch like CeCe more than lovely Amy,doesn't make sense.