All Comments on 'Ice Cream'

I love the last line ... "that bastard wouldn't eat the mushrooms"

My my SS06, none of my favorite authors (Coaster2, Rehnquist, DQS1, DGH, etc.) are churning out stories with your rapidity. Amazing! Thanks!!

Well stangstar06 you just keep amazing me. What a story, and what a great ending. Thanks Man! Keep'em comin

Wow," I said. "How did that happen?" I was relieved, one more coincidence would have had me a little bit worried.

She got the strangest look on her face and said, "That bastard wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

funniest damn lines i think i ever read

Amazing writing, amazing story, I'm amazed!!

SS06.......HE DID IT, A SHAGGY DOG STORY.......AND AN AGE OLD JOKE WITH A PUNCH LINE...TK U MLJ LV NV

although the joke at the end made me groan a little...

thanks for the fun read

and another story. I like your stories Stang but this one was a hard read. The wife and all the lovers just didn't fit, especially only 4 to 6 strokes. The revenge to me was unrealistic. Too many irons in the fire. The deception of Nancy was not nice at all. However I did like the ending with the mushrooms. Thank you for the effort and I will be back next Thursday. Jim

Hahaha! Never saw THAT kind of ending coming! Wow, a humor/satire ending for the Stangman!

On to the story itself. Hm, I actually don't have much to say. Totally out there and incredibly unrealistic, from Justine's 4 stroke cheating, to the crazy revenges.

Didn't see Justine's suicide coming though, and the reason for it was rare too (never being able to have children). I don't think I've ever read an LW story where the husband talks about the children they'll never have...That was pretty poignant...

And the ending...My gods, a psycho! Run awaaay! He probably should've stuck with Nancy! @_@

In short, don't take this story seriously. Really.

A fantastic punch line!!!! Top score from me. *****

Did Jennifer admit to killing 3 ex husbands? That bitch is crazier than Justine! Personally, I didn't think the "mushroom statement was funny." After that statement, my mustang would have left skid marks for at least a quarter of a mile. This story was well written, but depressing and Justine's actions made no sense.

As soon as she said her first husband died of mushroom poisoning...I knew you were throwing us a curve ball...saw it coming. Jessus Stang...that joke is older than poor Otto and he did the plumbing on Noah's boat!!!!!

It was a depressing and confused story. I have to admit the ending saved what was up until then a so so story.

I'll give you a four for effort, but that's only because of the punchline...lol

Keep'em coming my friend. I look forward to thursday now for two reasons. One is the day before friday and the weekend, and the other is for STANGDAY.

Amanda

I mean no disrespect, however it's time for a new outline This one is used up............

Loved it. We never know what to expect from one story to another. Great writing and fun stories!!

Your story, long but well written, brought back sad memories for me.

When you love someone as much as you described these two, you never get over it.

I had to walk away from such a love years ago and to this day, I cannot find that same warmth, love, emotion and feelings for another woman. I still hurt for the loss of the love I thought we had. Actually we did and that makes it worse, she just couldn't help herself.

Good story, nicely done. Anymore tear jerkers?

Like Mandy, I'm a Thursday guy.

Ha ha ha. I didn't see that coming. Such a long lead-up to such a great punchline. As someone famous or not so famous once said, "More please!."

Thursday should be renamed to Stangday! Loved it. Your plot ideas and characters have always been in the top ranks but these last two have really just been great fun reads. I don't remember if you credited an editor like you did for Billie Jean but it seems its having a very good effect on smoothing the flow of your writing. Thanks so much for sharing.

I was deeply in love with my second wife, and she cheated on me: I guess it would have been basically okay if it had been with a guy..and yet...it was so hurtful..she cheated with a woman whom she had been seeing behind my back for several months. With her first marriage, she did the same thing...cheating foir 7 years with women..and I, of all, never suspected anything during courtship or after marriage.

Love can be a wonderful ally, a hurtful poison and make people do some incredible things for sure.

Good story...keep on writing...sounds like a typical American saga..

I read this several hours ago. I had to come back and leave a comment. I have been laughing all morning. The ending was hilarious. Well done.

I love your stories, this one is one of the best.

Regards,

ShrkDivr...

The way you ended the story made me laugh out loud - good one !!

HAHAHAHAHA

Liked the Whole thing but Jennifers last comment .. He Would'nt eat the Mushroom's was too much :-)

Too bad that over the top response was to the guys that were just taking what she was giving away. I was kind of hoping that this woman was the daughter or sister of one of his victims and was going to bust him up at the end of the story.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like almost all of your stories and I like the idea of a husband getting back at someone who was pursuing the wife. This was like beating the crap out of a homeless guy because your wife gave him some of your money.

I look forward to reading your next story.

Well, here we are, Stangday! That's the day that follows Wednesday of course, and I haven't had such a laugh for some time. Many picked up on the last line, but the one that got me was "You didn't have sex with him in near proximity to open containers of food that are intended for children?"!!!! It had tears running down my cheeks and I had a job to finish the damn story. Well done. keep it up, and I've already forgiven you for the Audi thing!

How can such an unrealistic story be so real? Oh, I know. The author is skilled. Thanks for another great story.

Totally original and goofy details wrapped in a totally unoriginal theme that allows the story to take continual turns through the looking glass. Artwork. Thanks!

If he marries the Black Widow.

I really loved your other stories Stang, this one I really didn't. Its weird to say the least, not your usual cool style, probably reading a lot of Slirpuff :)

I'll skip the technicalities, what the husband did is not possible in real life, certainly not in the time frame it took in your story. This is a story after all, so will stay with the image it conveys.

Your portrayal of the characters can be summed up as follows: Justine, a woman that hasn't grown up, 30 something years old going on 10, definitely in need of some psychiatric help, but genuinely loves her husband. Rudy, her husband, is ... humm ... either a criminal or a psychopath, can't decide. A decent human being can't hurt someone they really love, no matter what, so he obviously didn't love her, he was just mending his massive ego. Jennifer, the woman he meets, is his female version, I guess she is both a psychopath and a murderer.

God help us! Imagine those two living together. That would be another awesome story. Two monsters in love :) constantly watching what they eat, especially mushrooms, looking for hidden baseball bats or frying pans and probably constantly wearing a helmet, avoiding any unprotected sex (he is so crazy he could get himself an STD just to pass it on), a rattle snake marrying a black widow :)

I look forward to your next :)

I still don't know if I really liked the story. That's not to say it wasn't well-written, because it was. That's also not to say it's not an excellent yarn, because it was. It's just that the revenge was so over the top, and his revenge ultimately killed his wife. That's just so hard to swallow.

The really, really neat things I liked? First and foremost, I strongly recommend everyone go back and read the first 10-12 paragraphs. Swear to God, no one--not a single friggin' writer in this genre--comes up with such witty lines without being ridiculous. I really thought, based on the beginning, that this was going to be a funnier story. It wasn't, but that doesn't detract from the skill of the intro.

Second, once I got past the 3 1/2 pages of over-the-top leading up to it, the scenes of reconciliation and rekindled love were really poignant. Christ, I was really torn reading that, which is something we haven't seen from the Stangster before. And I was torn AFTER the reconciliation, which is incredibly rare. Given her actions, your portrait of their undying love really was sufficient for him to go back. I've never seen it carried off so well where I was truly upset to see her die.

Which leads to my ultimate conclusion: You clearly have the ability to write a story with great emotional punch, so why don't you give it a shot?

Just like all your stories..excellent!

asshole! i was really into your story and then got clobbered by the closing line. i was laughing so hard people thought i was nuts. good job and keep it up...that's a pun

Kill a cheating spouse and you're guaranteed high scores In LW these days. You people are sick.

It read for me more like a take off on the Loving Wife Category. I did enjoy it overall and the mystery of what she was up to pulled me along. I thought it would be a discussion about what is cheating and what is not, a la Bill Clinton. But the revenges got a bit tiresome. That is the problem with a cast of thousands. Also in the back of my mind was the question, of what would this practically unknown woman going to do with all this information. Still I found it worth the five even though it left me a bit uncomfortable.

What a great ending. Too funny. I was laughing for over a minute. <br><br>

Of course it's all very dark and there was lots of vicious revenge, surprisingly by Jennifer too. In some ways it's a little too cute. I mean, everyone has convenient gang members to come beat someone up for them, right? And of course we all know a pit bull owner that has trained their dog to be especially vicious and is willing to use him to attack people. We all know our friendly FDA bureaucrat that is willing to drop everything to help break up a quick fuck. And we know that we can drop in on tough women like Nancy and they are going to melt into our arms and do anything for us and then be perfectly happy to get passed off to one of our friends. It's all a piece of cake. <br><br>

Jennifer's plans were much easier. Poisoned mushrooms, like who knew? Of course the cops are conveniently idiots and never connected the dots when her second husband died the exact same way. And when her third husband committed suicide by smashing his own head in it made perfect sense to the cops as well. <br><br>

Finally we get to Justine who is fucking 5 other guys and doesn't think of it as cheating. What's dumber than a rock? Justine. Fortunately, she REALLY loves Rudy and kills herself to allow him to find and marry Jennifer. Now Rudy can have the family he wanted. Everyone, well I can't say "lives", but they are all happy ever after, even the ghost of Justine. Very nice. <br><br>

This is a comic book story. Everything is far larger than reality. When you read it that way it's fun. And then there's that punch line.

There is such a thing as too much and Rudys actions towards his wife and her lovers would fall into that. Strike One.

The fact that he abandoned his wife would lead to criminal charges which was never mentioned. Strike two.

While gonorrhea, in rare instances, can kill you, it has certain stages that it has to progress through and at which point would have been treated. Your story fails to mention this, so I'm presuming that it didn't happen...which means Ball One!

Unless you're a motherfucking muslim or a cocksucking rapist, no one in their right mind gets off on gratuitous violence towards women. You sure as fuck don't kill your wife then shed tears afterward. Sure she cheated on him, that does NOT give him the right to murder her...and he did, just as sure as if he put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. Strike Three and you're outta the game. So go back to whatever bumfuck islamic country you're from and quit writing shit.

-wife is village bike, a slut, and later a suicide.

-husband is a cowardly thug and thief, hiring a gang to cripple a man for life, arranging for a city trash truck to be stolen. i am surprised he did not hire out a hit man.

-the new love is a murder 3x.

Nancy better be glad the husband used and dumped her, she managed to avoid this toxic gang!

Another author who writes like that idiot JPB the story was a waste of my time.

I don't know why.

My wife always says they are good for me.

Anyway, well off to the store now. I need to replace that darn Louisville Slugger with a nice nurf bat.

Don't know why.

I usually enjoy your writting. I never got into this one. It was very unrealstic. I will read your next one and hope I like it better.

This author just does not see how ridiculous these scenarios are.

The characters are two-dimensional and emotionally stunted. The scenes, as played out, are ludicrous. The "four strokes, maybe six, and no more, and that's not sex" stuff is so stupid, it makes the story hard to take seriously.

The ending was so self-conciously cutesy I could have puked. Anyone who didn't see that coming a mile away is blind.

Add to all that the odd comma placements, strange word arrangement, and generally lackluster writing, and you have another Thursday entry wasted.

It's time to try something else. This author really does not do well the the cheating-wife genre.

The first part was great, the middle became somewhat slow and I thoroughly enjoyed the end. The Justine character became slightly cartoonish in the middle which bothered me, but the reuniting of Justine with her husband was indeed touching. That part, particularly regarding the imaginary baby, had a wonderful vibe to it....reminded me of my favorite play...Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. God that play blew me away. So fucking depressing and so vividly written. Obviously, the movie with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton is what most people relate to, but reading or watching the play is an unbelievably depressing treat! I am being utterly obnoxious, but I would love to see you, StangStar, work your magic with that play. I so enjoyed Chissie! I apologize in advance for selfishly trying to take advantage of your wondrous writing skills, but...

You knew Jennifer had poisoned her husbands with mushrooms before reading it? That's pretty amazing, are you a psychic?

If you are, how could you not tell from a mile away that this story could easily have gone into Humor/Satire?

"This author really does not do well the the cheating-wife genre."

Although StangStar is one of the most popular authors here? You have a strange sense of "doing well".

I thought the story meandered through one implausible event after another. One or two in as story can work, but all together it just became too much to believe. PLUS, you fell into the RAAC trap.

Perhaps if you had explained why she cheated in such a crazy way it would help advance the plot.

I don't believe that guys would keep coming back without any "happy endings" to their coupling. All the risk and no reward over and over. Sorry, not gonna happen. At the very least they would just cover her mouth and fuck her till they got what they wanted, technically rape, but true nevertheless.

Then having the "blind date" turn out to be a complete wacko, while cute, was another implausibility. The "they wouldn't eat the mushrooms" was a GREAT LINE and would be worthy of a story in and of it's self.

I've read the other comments and I note they are pretty complimentary. I respectfully disagree with those comments and believe you can do better. Perhaps a new story each week is to much maintain high quality?

I think to let a ill human being alone a cruel thing, in spite of being slut. After healing Rudi would have assisted Justin to live alone and to try the divorce. She did suicid without divorce. However I would escap from Jennifer quickly. BTW I heard the mushroom story with a husband against his wives as a joke when I attended the highschool my friend told us 40 years ago (with Arisztid and Thasszilo the aristocrat characters in the Hungarian jokes). I do not know which nation found this joke first?

Keep them coming!!!! The last sentence (LOL)!!!!!!!!!!!

to deliver that ending. It was worth it.

You clearly have no idea how to read.

I never said I preminisced poisonous mushrooms. I knew when she claimed to be thrice widowed by the mid-thirties, something was wrong; and so yes, I *did* see it coming.

See? Don't you feel stupid now?

Also, I notice a lot of people fawn over these "stories" of his. Well, lots of people like deep-fried butter. Doesn't make it any good.

This joke goes back at least to the 1960's. It's a good one. Maybe we can cherry pick old Henny Youngman jokes and create a whole new genre'.

My favorite is the one about the guy coming home and finding his wife in bed with a midget. He's furious. "You promised you would stop cheating on me!", he yells. She replies, "Well you can see I'm tapering off."

That could make a good story.

"..your ass must be jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth.."

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Clearly you have no idea how to explain.

Unlike you I am not a psychic, and since you did not state what you foresaw with your mushroom seeing powers, I couldn't know what you foresaw.

See, don't you feel stupid now?

Perhaps Matt Moreau's stories are more to your liking. Go read those.

I note some tip offs in your comments about "Ice Cream." #1.. You begin by saying, "As usual," that tells me you keep reading stang's stories knowing you think they're poorly thought out.

#2..You say, "The author does not see how ridiculous these scenarios are." How can you know what Stang knows? Perhaps he does know and wrote the story to exploit his knowing. Maybe he wrote a ridiculous story.

#3..You haven't submitted a single story or poem to the site.

#4.. You haven't even identified an author or a story as a favorite. Both #3 & 4 seem to convey the message that there are no stories you like and that possibly the major satisfaction you get from Lit. is writing to tell authors they are stupid, their stories are poorly thought out, and their writing is lackluster.

Perhaps you would be well served by taking your own advice, "It's time to try something else."

stangstar06 needs to read and or edit every 1000 words or so before going forward. The story alignment only allowed me to cover about 2500 words before declaring a lost call. The title and moments of inspiration are both microwaved. Primarily the 4th paragraph was re-read a minimum of six times - always failing to be palatable, and while I persevered, three of the next four use the 4th as a transitional bridge building group of words as a basis to sell a direction - which then you find a way to kill a blind date (who seemingly was with a decent partner). I like ice cream before it is soured milky goo.

I was really torn after finishing this one. I bow to - almost - no one in my admiration for StarStang's work in LIT. Not only is he a good and creative and prolific writer, not only has he done something that even other very good LIT writers haven't (he's established a style so strong that he's one of the few writers you could identify as an author if his name wasn't on the story) but he had the good taste to use one of my characters in one of his stories and did it about as good as me. How can you not like a guy like that?

But...but...but,, this story didn't work for me. it was one of the funniest lit stories I've ever read, and it was one of the saddest and most touching stories I've ever seen here. You don't usually see it, but SS can touch your heart when he wants to. But....the two parts just didn't fit together for me. I usually like stories with a touch of humor that touch the heart, and vice versa, but this one read like someone pasted the beginning and end of another story around a middle section that belonged to a completely different tale. The juxtaposition just didn't work. AND...StarStang is usually very good at making me understand or at least sympathize with some of the most stupid sluts to ever walk the earth....but I didn't understand this wife. I really didn't. I'll probably go back and re-read it to see if I get it the second time around.

Still and all, another Thursday will roll around and odds are SS will be grabbing us all again. I know I'll be looking for his next effort.

You have accomplished the amazing feat of coming up with what I say is the worst story of all time.

You are a good writer but you wasted your time on this one. Why did she fuck the other guys?. You implied she did not do it for her own pleasure , nor their pleasure. not for revenge, not loneliness, so why?

you said it was a game, so to entertain herself she took major risks? Nothing I can think of satisfactorily explained what she did it.

I just had to comment. First of all folks this is Literotica - not True Story. All the comments about it not being true to life or realistic - if you want true life love stories - go to the news stand and buy True Story, True Love or True Romance magazines. I also notice that the same people, week in and week out, have the same negative comments. Why keep coming back if you do not like any thing? You must like something if you come back every week to read the stories. And a lot of you have not ever even posted a story here or are "anonymous". Please - at least have the guts to use a name when being so negative. I have only been editing for SS06 for a few weeks but I love his stories and am honored that he chose me for an editor. I for one do not want to read real life nonsense. I want stories to take me out of the real world and give me a laugh, make me cry or make me think anything but what is real life. I read to escape as most people do. I do not want mediocre bull shit stories that will appeal to the masses. I want out of this world stories that are no where near real life and evoke some kind of response. Ok - enough of my ranting. Kate is signing off.

I don't need no stinkin mushrooms? <WACK> I wouldn't marry that woman, I would be running as fast as I could. As for the rest, a fair SS06 story is still a gem, even if it is a little rough. IT's apretty stupid woman that would allow six strokes of unprotected sex, and NOT know that it might upset her husband.

First, I did not say SS doesn't KNOW how ridiculous they are. I said he does not SEE how ridiculous they are. I completely agree, no one *knows* what is in the mind of another. You quoted me correctly, and then misquoted it in your straw-man argument.

Yes, I do keep reading, hoping against hope he will one day develop into a decent author. Hasn't happened yet.

As for your objections three and four:

Shows how unenlightened you are. I have indeed submitted stories -- more than two dozen, as it turns out -- and I have seven authors in my list of favorites (you're not one, and now even less likely to be, but I guess you figured that out).

See, I post stories under a different handle. There are those who complain Anons do not post stories, but just sit back and snipe. I chose JustForPosting as a backhanded slap at such miscreants.

I know perfectly well if I critiqued under my POSTING handle, those whose works I criticize would flood me with bad ratings and negative reviews.

SO, I will repeat: SS is NOT a good writer. His works are uneven, his scenarios silly, his mechanics eighth-grade at best. He needs practice, and he needs an instructional editor.

Now don't you feel stupid?

and the story. To all the others: I say it is about the revenge. Rudy needed the revenge to make his life right again. There might have been another way, but this is your story and you chose to do it this way.

You did it well. There was a range of emotion; sad, glad, love, hate, confusion and finally desperation. I say "Ya done good!!" Can't wait to see what you know who has to say about this one.

Keep up the good work.

Clearly, you STILL can't read.

I never claimed I was psychic. You read that into my comments all on your own. I explained it perfectly clearly. Well, at least for someone who can read.

I said I saw the ENDING coming. (The ENDING, as in Hans Grüber dying by the end of Die Hard. I didn't know he would fall from very high in the Nakatomi building; I *did* know he was likely not to survive to read the credits.) I never said one word about mushrooms.

See how stupid you look?

SS is simply a bad writer. He uses tortured prose to write silly material. He could improve. My early stuff was pretty bad, which is why I DIDN'T POST IT. I waited until my style matured. Took about three hundred stories. Each one taught me what not to do. Assuming you can read, check out my rebuttal to Scorpio44.

And I don't care for Matt Moreau's stories. I prefer those written by literates. Sorta as in, not you.

Heartwarming tale of misfortune and vengeance... Love the black widow he finds at the end... Reminds me of the shovel in the movie "keeping Mum" with Rowan Atkinson and Patrick Swaze. Gave me a good giggle... Thanks!

Really?

Have you read any of the other stories?

There is some great stuff by this author.

I'm sure it's not as good as yours... oh wait; I just checked you don't have any submissions.

Seriously, if you can't be constructive, take a hike and buy a comic book.

With that said StangStar, I don't think this is your best effort. Maybe some of your stuff sets the bar high enough that when a submission doesn't reach it, it sticks out.

I didn't see any real character development in this story. Especially with Justine. I could never get interested in her. I also did not get the whole cheating thing with the four to six strokes. It didn't really make a lot of sense to me.

I also think this story took a step back in character dialog.

Still, a story that is not one of your best beats most of the other stories in the site.

Keep writing and we'll keep reading.

Except for JustForPosting.

He'll probably switch to reading about Betty and Veronica.

Or The UniformCode of Military Justice covers the subject of Carnal Knowledge, or cheating in this case, very well. It says "...Penitration, no matter how slight, is enough to complete the offence."

Or in laymens' terms if it goes in just a little it is considered SEX.

Cheating is cheating, it is up to the wronged party to decide weather they will accept the actions......OR NOT.

And in its way, a showcase of some of what SS does very well in his stories, for which many of us are grateful.

Nonetheless: for me at least, Justine's stupid non-fucking fucking around was so bizarre, so utterly without any sort of even semi-pseudo-justification, as to make the whole story kind of a WTF????

I enjoyed it, and I will always read SS's work--but when one realizes that there just isn't any REMOTELY plausible explanation or excuse for her behavior, the whole structure kind of collapses to the ground.

Notwithstanding the wonderfully funny ending....

Thanks, ohio

This one makes you go hmmmm? Mr. Stang after last week this was not your strongest work, on the other hand last week's work would cast a shadow on just about any new post. That said this was the perfect story to follow last week's masterpiece. D. Steele was correct this story was out on the edge. Hey but you pulled it off fairly well, showing your skill in the process. Well I could ramble on and on, but you get the drift. As always please forgive the fact I won't log on to post my words as I ALWAYS LEAVE MY NAME, as you take the time to make Thursdays a little better, your loyal fan BUICK GS

You don't so goodly read, eh wot?

I wrote -- if ONLY you could read, poor sod -- I post under a different name.

Just kinda makes you look like a nasshole, eh? That was dee libber ate, by the way. In case your illiterate little... well, fuck it.

*To the tune of Lilliburlero) Stupid Stupid, you are just nothing but stupid! Half-ass reading, that describes you to a tee!

I know English. You have no mastery of it.

Well, neither do Mousse9 and Scorpio44, but they're pervs.

So you're in good company!

Justine is a little like the proverbial, dumb blond about whom all the jokes are told. I guess this was a combination of satire and whimsy on SS's part, but somehow the flow felt choppy and the Mustang and big boobed woman elements seemed forced and contrived. Still, there was a good bit of SS06's humor and such, and it was fun even though not nearly equal to the last story. Thanks for writing.

This was an interesting story although the suicide was bit dark, especially since he took her back, even more since she considered herself the murderer of the children she wanted to have. It also would have been nice to know exactly what motivated her to cheat in the bizarre way that she did. But I really do like your stories, please keep writing

Interesting to say the least, but the last paragraph blew me away.

A good story and a funky ending.

Thanks for the read

I actually liked this one a lot. Yeah Justine was an idiot and seemed to like men with trucks (odd) but I never doubted that she did love him. She was just, well an idiot. Her whole explanation behind the cheating was crazy but no less crazy then the gang member part. Seriously? Gang members?

I wouldn't even call Rudy a wimp. He dealt out his revenge to all those who wronged him. But he had loved Justine for almost 20 years. But then again I never thought she didn't love him. Some people, her especially, are just dumb. The suicide part was dark but I thought the fact that Justine and Julee who would never come to be saving him was in an odd way kind of touching.

But hell if I would marry that crazy black widow Jennifer. And defintely wouldn't eat any mushrooms she serves.

Liked the story but kind-of-wonder who pissed in "justforpostings" cheerios? That idiot comes across a lot like the clueless fag "shoe-no-IQ" or is that his new alias? Hey "Justy-dude" - your an idiot and coming across like a serious case of PMS. Take a pill and make sure you get to your next psychiatric appointment on time. Just so you do not get confused, just call me Juan.

Had to be a challenge from other writers to see if you could make up a story using ice cream, garbage trucks, murder, and a tired joke older than your first mustang. What woman could find sexual excitement with a 4 stoke fuck. What man would keep coming back for the same? Not up to your usual story. Go for a drive, clear your mind and come back refreshed and ready to write another good story next time.

After reading, having fun, and immensly enjoying the first 10 pages of Billie Jean, I was really disappointed when you decided to switch out of fiction mode and jump up on your soapbox to make a personal statement.

I didn't read the last 2 pages of Billie Jean , and I'll pass on this as well.

i loved the ending

Great - another tsunami of cliches, revenges gone wild, and unbeleivable scenarios unfortunately too numerous to mention...like every other paragraph. Take a week or more off and recharge your plots. was it the electrician who sent you to the pimp or the other way around...as if it mattered.

And please SS06 tell us us you aren't writing comments as Just For Posting - please don't be THAT lame..

Okay tough guy. Show us YOUR stories, or are you too scared that readers will think your stories are a pile of shit? If you are so good at dishing out moans and making snide comments about writers stories tell us your "Real" name so we can judge your stories as you seem to judge everyone elses.

Good story Stang thanks for writing.

Wow, JustForPosting has submitted stories, except nobody knows em because he ain't telling. I've submitted dozens upon dozens of stories too, all ranked 5 stars, they made Top List, every single one of em! Except I ain't telling which one of em are, else JustForPosting will mark em down! Maybe he showed it only among friends, who will automatically rate em 5 stars, pretty easy.

Clearly, YOU still can't read. I was making fun of you. An arrogant supposed writer who is too scared to reveal his own stories and uses a different internet handle to attack writers.

See how stupid you ARE? (I may sometimes feel stupid, and even look stupid, but BEING stupid, that's entirely different. But I doubt you understand that, being too stupid.)

Oh no, I can't read. That's why I'm typing all these replies, and posting them, which you apparently CAN understand, because you've been replying to them. Yup, I'm a genius for being able to type coherently without being able to read. Yes, that was sarcasm, just letting you know, if you didn't get it.

Clearly, you are a masochist, or dumb as a rock, or both. Clearly, you keep reading all these stories despite hating them, and ragging on them, yet you continue. Do you have any capacity to learn from your mistakes? Or are you too arrogant to admit them?

I don't care for Matt Moreau's stories either, I prefer those written by literates. As in, NOT YOU. (You haven't posted any.)

Calling me a perv when you're on an erotica website, and supposedly have submitted stories here. Pot calling the kettle black, you perv.

And I quote ---- "I know perfectly well if I critiqued under my POSTING handle, those whose works I criticize would flood me with bad ratings and negative reviews."

You know what that makes you? That makes you a wimpy, balls less, snotty little momma's boy who can't handle being "critiqued" himself. Let's see if you are a man enough to let us all know your real username.

The last commenter made a decent point. I post all comments to my stories under the same name I use when submitting my stories. So, too, do Ohio, Salamis, HDK, Angiquesophie, and tons of the other superb writers in this genre.

Speaking for myself only, I post comments both positive and negative, and I could care less if others then write nasty comments on my own stories or vote them low. And, as flattering as kind comments and high ratings are, that's not really why I write and post these stories. I do so to determine whether my writing is solid and the stories entertaining. All of us can easily cull the worthless comments from those that genuinely offer sound, constructive criticism that will help us become better writers.

And frankly, if you can't stand the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen. Moreover, as an author yourself, it stuns me that you won't reveal the name under which you write in an attempt to avoid retaliation by people who comment exactly as you comment.

So really, give us your real name. I promise to judge the stories based solely on their merits.

you said it much better that I did! I guess that is why you write and I only read.

I really don't care about your arguments.

I find it interesting you take my comments on SS to be personal attacks (they were not), rather than address the content of my critique, which boils down to SS being a poor writer. He is technically inept (though I have admitted he is getting better), and when I read these fawning comments about what a brilliant story he's written, I just shake my head. I mean, I guess that's to be expected given the general level of education in this country.

I used to post Anonymous comments, and anything negative was flamed for being so. Now, we find Anons flaming me, too scared to show their faces, accusing me of same.

Finally, I don't give a shit whether you believe I have stories on this site. I've had nasty comments made about the content (Hey, Rehnquist: I can take the heat, asshole), and not ONE SINGLE negative remark about my technical proficiency. I'm not Steinbeck, Faulkner, Hemingway, or the like; but I do use correct grammar and punctuation. I know perfectly well if I let on to my real posting handle, you'd come over to my section and leave petty, retaliatory snipes having NOTHING AT ALL to do with the story. Go ahead, deny it.

But then, Moosey, you're too stupid to undertand.

Hey, flame away. Matters not to me.

JustForPosing: You misunderstand me, I really don't give a shit about your flaming, your supposed stories, or anything you say.

You supposedly write under one name, then flame under another, admitting to doing so, and THAT's being able to take the heat? Don't make me laugh, that's the complete opposite.

You're too much of a coward to undertand. Yeah, I'm attacking you about your "technical proficiency".

"I used to post Anonymous comments, and anything negative was flamed for being so. Now, we find Anons flaming me, too scared to show their faces, accusing me of same."

Silly little hypocrite. You're too scared to use your real internet handle. Pot calling the kettle black, again.

This Poser coward matters not to me. Flame away, Poser!

I gathered that from the first page. It was funny. Green Acres is the place to be. Arnold Ziggler. The others must have been reading War and Peace while that show was on. Justforposting....romance section right? I can tell from your comments that you are far more intelligent than the rest of us.

Was that Ziffle? I may not know what I am talking about.

Its a well written story BUT... The wife' s actions are so crazy... So irrational that her actions need some sort of explaination. Yet... The author tells us nothing about the bizarre mentally twisted views. This is WHY so many readers have so many problems with this silly story.

The fact that the ending is fun and rather pleasant doesn't change the authors inability to follow basic writer' s rules. This flaw is not just limited to SS06 but to many authors.

Yet invariably when one points out this VALID point... this is viewed as being "bashing". It's really basic..... If readers are shown strong characters or characters that are and integral part of then story.... Folks will want SOME sort of explanation.

You have a problem that I think is common here, which is that to fit your stories into the tried and true LW formula, your wives are pretty much all fabulously stupid. Still I agree with the guy who liked the "shit" line. You do have a good way with dialog. And I especially liked the clever ending. I think you would be really an interesting writer if you ever decide to write outside of LW forum type stories. But to me you seem to be in a bit of a rut with all your stories being awfully similar.

That's all.

...I liked this one but stopped reading you because of what Ohio and Rhenquist are hinting at. I didn't think this discordant, maybe "under explained" (reason out her weird "game" etc., -help us downtrodden masses.) I think if there is a believability gap it's due to seeing too much too fast.Tom Cruise is a decent actor but I no longer see the character he plays, just him. So it goes with the tightly genre'd short story writer.

. . . but it was the kind of train wreck where you laugh as the bodies are carried out. The last line was the best laugh though, Momma insists you eat everything on your plate.

Er, Moosey.

And for all the slams, you still won't address the issues I raised.

Show me an example of my writing that is as bad as SS. I mean, inj my comments.

<Jeopardy Theme>

Didn't think you could.

Truth is, you just love SS's stories. Fine.

I post under a different name. Don't believe me? Why do I give a fuck? You're less than nothing.

And yet you STILL have not addressed the issues I raised. You know, the ones about SS's technical prowess. I read your ONE item, and it was badly written, BTW.

Poor little stoopeeda. I can do this way past when you can.

You also didn't contradict me when I said you'd flood my stories with shitty retaliations. Proves my point, ya douche.

And yes, you are Stoo, and similarly Pid.

as always I enjoyed the read. I also enjoy the guy being a car guy.

Going braindead, Poser? How can I comment on your supposed stories when there are none? Can't comment on nonexisting stories, you know?

Let me reiterate, just for the Stoo Pid Poser, I can't comment on stories that don't exist!

Ah, simply because it's me, you ranked it down. "Do as I say, not as I do", indeed. Ranking it down because it's me.

So, should I post under another nickname, so you can't find it, like you are doing? Then I can tell that it's great, and you can't rank it down. I did what you are afraid of doing, posting under my own name.

"You also didn't contradict me when I said you'd flood my stories with shitty retaliations."

What stories? Huh? What stories?

So, to make it short, you attack other writers under one nickname, while posting under another to avoid criticism, and insult and flame people who point that out, including trying to come up with insulting nicknames? What are you, twelve? Don't you know this is an over 18 website?

Man, you're annoying, grow up. You're wasting my time.

Why should I criticize your COMMENTS? What's the point in that? Can't criticize when it's just a few lines of someone saying something's stupid.

Show your stories, and I'll comment on those. But wait, I can't, you got none.

"You also didn't contradict me when I said you'd flood my stories with shitty retaliations. Proves my point, ya douche."

Exactly like what you're doing? YOU ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF OTHERS DOING TO YOU. I didn't contradict you because frankly I didn't even read that part.

Now that you're on the insulting level anyway, I don't see any reason to hold back.

You're an utterly shitty writer. Not because of something like technical writing, spelling or storyline, but because you are afraid to be linked to your supposed stories.

You don't want your douchebag flame comments be linked to your stories, so you hide behind the anonymity of another internet handle.

You don't want anybody to know that "Hey, this idiot commenter is the author of these stories!".

At least I have the guts to post something to my own name. You don't. What a coward.

Justy:Momma, momma, momma...

Momma:Justy, what's wrong? Did you pooped in your panties err ice cream err diaper again?

Justy:Momma, momma those guys are comming after me.

Momma:Which guys and why?

Justy:Mousse9, Scorpio, Renquist and gang of other guys.

Momma:Justy what did you do'em?

Justy:Long story momma, quick, hide me under your skirt.

Momma:Justy, this is wrong, why do you do this?

Justy:JustForPoop-ping, momma, JustForPoop-ping.

Momma sighed and thought it would have been good if she had a girl instead of a sissy, whiny, snotty, pooper.

JustForPoop-ping, Why don't you submit JUST ONE story under this username? A well "thought out" story? Whatda ya, Justy?

Not one of your best, SS, but I did like the ending.."The bastard wouldn't eat the mushrooms"...ROFLMAO!!!

Stangstar06 is a human being and he can not write same level everytime.

I like this work. I found humanic thing in it. Rudi came back to help his slutty wife to healing up nothewistand his bacterial revenge.

BTW I heard the mushroom story 40 years ago when I attended Highschool in Hungary. The killer was a male aristrocrat character in the Hungarian jokes (Arisztid) and he told a other aristrocrat character(Taszilo) about his 3 marriages.

I do not know which nation created this joke, but I am glad this joke arrived in the New World.

have refused to address my points.

Go on, asswipe, I can do this as long as you can. You point to one thing about my criticism of the Stang's writing that is not accurate, and I'll reveal all.

But, you can't.

I read your "essay." Shitty, shitty, shitty.

Oh, I'm joking. It was just bad, not shitty.

Seriously, you wanna bring an end to this? Tell me how I'm wrong. I mean, real examples. Prove to me Stang didn't spell "hell" as "he'll" last week, and I'll bow to your knowledge.

And still, you just won't address the issues I raised.

I'm waiting. The dick is in your Poossey.

Speeky English?

Didn't think so. The comment is so fucking illiterate, it has to be Poossey in die Skies. With Dye Monds.

My my, you really think that trying to give me insulting nicknames (you really have to do better than that, and I still think you're about 12) will make me angry.

For you, Poser is a much more fitting nickname. Show me your stories, Poser. Put your money where your mouth is, coward asswipe.

Clearly, you do not know how to read. Did I ever attack you on the TECHNICAL points of your criticism? Learn how to read.

"As usual, poorly thought-out"

Like another commenter said, if you hate it that much, why do you keep reading? Move on. And "waiting hoping for Stang to improve"? Bull, you just want to spew your vitriol.

"This author just does not see how ridiculous these scenarios are.

The characters are two-dimensional and emotionally stunted. The scenes, as played out, are ludicrous. The "four strokes, maybe six, and no more, and that's not sex" stuff is so stupid, it makes the story hard to take seriously.

If you cannot see that this story could easily belong in the Humor/Satire section, I cannot help you, since I can't explain humor to you, you poor thing.

"The ending was so self-conciously cutesy I could have puked. Anyone who didn't see that coming a mile away is blind."

Subjective opinion, this has NOTHING to do with technical writing, spelling or grammar.

"It's time to try something else. This author really does not do well the the cheating-wife genre."

See the comments to Stang's recent stories, see how many comments he gets, see how many disagree with you. You saying that about currently one of the most popular LW authors on this site, when you have NO stories, is really stupid. The only standard Stang does not do well by is yours.

"Add to all that the odd comma placements, strange word arrangement, and generally lackluster writing,"

Ah, here is the crux of it, isn't it? The technical part of your criticism. Did I ever attack you on that? No, I did not. YOU are the one who brought that up, for who knows what reason. I have NO idea why you think I challenged you on that when I clearly did not.

It's no wonder you actually have to have a second internet handle. You have such a shitty personality, and people hate you so much, that even if your supposed works are the next Tolstoy, they STILL would mark it down, simply because it's you.

Unlike you, I actually DO have a life (and friends), so I don't want to "do this as long as you can". That would be a huge waste of time, I've got better things to do.

Hate all you want, but unless you show your stories, you'll always be a coward, an arrogant liar, and yes, a poser.

This little girl needs ice cream, I guess that's why she is screaming so much, right Justy? We are approaching 100 comments, keep screaming little pussy.

that last part was totally unexpected but funny as hell. dude might want to run. if she ever even suspects he is cheating even if he isnt. he could be eating some mushrooms. hell even if she was joking about how her first three husbands died. i wouldnt be to sure if i could ever eat another mushroom anything she fixed. but, good story very enjoyable.

OMG! That almost hurt me that's so funny. I liked this story. He was a bit of a heartless bastard but he got over it and she was a stupid stupid slut. Too stupid to be believable.

But I had an emotional response. No higher praise

Some slop in the grammar, but nothing that stood out.