All Comments on 'If I Needed Someone'

Great story...again.

I think we have to wade through the shit to understand how it it smells when we're away from it.

One of your best stories!

Boyd

Maybe if she donated her "heart", I might have forgiven her...

This story should published in every waiting room of every marriage counselor in the country. The insight into a cheating spouse and the feeling of betrayal was amazingly portrayed in this story. It was GREAT!

Cohesive plot, well written with the husband's POV well argued.

As usual we know zero about the wife though.

one minute, literally, they are clawing at each other and the next, all hugs and kisses!

"i'm gonna start packing, I feel so aweful, Paul", she said.

well, that got to him! "honey, you don't have to, you know. but if I don't divorce you, do you promise to give me more and better blow jobs than you gave to that guy you said used you roughly?"

"yes, Paul, I'll fuck you and give you blow jobs that are so good, you'd think you're in perpetual heaven."

"okay, darling, I believe you, then. No need to pack. I'll get over my anger; just give me some time, okay?"

LOL

such dialogues crack me up!

HDK:

Some will say Yea, others Nay. This one is a tough call. The only extenuating circumstance is her finally owning up. In my mind that tips the scale. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Well written as usual and there were a couple of clever things you did with this story.

Combined they made this a very enjoyable read.

The full confession is what helped him reconcile with her. He said all along that she had to do that and she did. Of course, 23 years and two kids makes a difference, too. Not mentioned much but it does.

The one area that she didn't get to, or did I miss it, was why did she have this affair. And why should she EVER take a lover hoping to mold him to how her husband was? All she had to do was go home and jump in bed, he's already molded.

Did she really want WILD sex and was afraid he'd think she was a slut if she agreed to it? The "What wife does THAT"?

But still, a very good story. I think his emotions were pretty well displayed. And I like the happy (sorta) ending.

Simple and good. Thanks.

should be the song she is singing. I agree with Nightowl on this, as I discussed with you. The more I think about it though, there isn't always a reason.

Sometimes we look for reasons where someone just made a stupid, and I mean really stupid, mistake. I've certainly done things that looking back I couldn't possibly explain my motivations, even to myself ... let alone someone else. Once in a while, "Because" is the only answer!

Should he forgive her? Or at least accept her? That's a decision based on the totality of a man's life, and not even that man can say with any accuracy whether he would or not until actually faced with the reality.

What's the right thing to do? Only God knows and she ain't tellin'!

The story was nicely written as always - sometimes as readers we get so wrapped up in telling you why your stories are not perfect when perfection is what seems to be expected of you that we forget to tell you what a great job you do!

Regards, DJ

I have a Kidney transplant. You caught those feelings of debt very well. This was a super twist for a story in this section.

She gave him her kidney, but gave all her other organs to another man! Yeah, that about evens it out! (Excuse me while I step over the pile of bullshit!)

great job HDK. I marvel at each offering you post.

thanks so much for writing.

FC

Jesus h christ what great intense well written wonderful story... perhaps your best ever...

I would give her a second chance.... it struck home with me b/c my wife has been that way towards me sexually for 7 years .... and only recently started has she started to change..

The kidney thing is a great twist

Good, strong husband who doesn't put up with cheating wife's crap. Thank you for the time and effort it took you to write this story.

Short story, well written, but I wanted more, so one less point for you.

We have a couple that has been married for many years. She’s not very keen on sex, but since she’s a good “mother and wife IN EVERY OTHER WAY,” he accepts and lives with this situation.

When I read this line I wondered what exactly made her such a good wife (she can decorate in earth tones while whipping a 5 course gourmet meal?), especially when she wasn’t willing to share herself, clearly giving him the impression of a mercy fuck whenever she magnanimously got around to doing it, what? four-five times a year. How generous of her, what a martyr.

I found that was her greater sin, how cheap and stingy she’d been with him because if she found it such a chore or duty to share her body willingly and enthusiastically with him, there was no intimacy and love in this marriage.

I didn’t understand why any man would put up with that. It must have killed his soul to be barely tolerated in bed, plus he had urges like any other man, so I’m sure that the left or right hand wasn’t as much a compensation to remain in the marriage. To top it all when she finally wants to experiment and find out what she’s been missing, she turns to another. Can he really forgive that, more than the act of being unfaithful, even if she saved his life with a kidney donation? What a position this unselfish act had left him in! Now that's a conflict, what would be the resolution?

That a short story could generate so much fodder for thought is amazing, and that’s what I expect from you. Kudos. You clearly pointed out how he felt and what he thought, but we wanted more from her point of view, but then you would have had to make the story longer...

This is an excellent ,well crafted story.The characters are multi-dimensional and interesting.The plot catches the problem faced by all who are disrespected by loved ones.You love them so much but they have hurt you so badly.It is not just the sex .The main character shouldered the responsibility for his family but has been passed over when it comes to appreciation.How many times did he receive sloppy seconds?

The one thing sticking out in my mind was what made her seek out a lover or just go with the need of a lover.

I agree with “Nightowl” but do disagree with “DJ” as we don’t do things without a reason. We have thoughts and act on them. We cannot breath without thought from our brain. We don’t consciously think to breath or walk but it requires a deliberate act. Consciously or subconsciously our mind is doing what we have decided is what we need or want for a reason.

When I was young I would on occasion get blinding drunk and lose a day sometimes and not remember what I had done until my friends would tell me. Everything I did was my subconscious mind letting my preconceived formed notions let me do what I wanted. No excuses just a lot of embarrassment.

It’s like saying someone makes a mistake. There are no mistakes just bad decisions consciously made. If you spill a drink by setting it down haphazardly you made a thought out wrong move. If you say fuck instead of frig your mind wasn’t being over whelmed by haste or excitement it was part of a mindset developed. If you fuck someone you are doing it because you made a thoughtful decision of something you want to do. For someone to say I don’t know why I did that, is really saying I don’t want to know why I did that. All these things have a basis of a mindset developed and stimulated by thought.

Stimulation of the mind is a separate subject that intersects with acts preconceived like your dick just gets hard or pussy starts to weep when you see that hot woman or man across from you or on reading a story.

So to make a long story short, we have reasons for all we do, it sometimes includes an overused term of self-examination. We many times need help in finding out what developed these mindsets. There is a reason for all our acts. There are no mistakes just bad results for poorly thought out actions.

Great fantasy story from one of the best. Thank you for the great entertainment.

With the highest of regards

Peggytwitty

It sounded real..and that's what counts

And I'm sorry, but thats why I gave it what I did.

I like the fact that the wife "appeared" sorry at the very end of the story, she was willing to give him a kidney, and waited for 6 months before she really pushed the issue of sex with him.

I didn't like the fact that in the end he was sitting on his hands waiting for her to tell him what she did. He was willing to wait how ever long it took because she gave him a kidney.

My parents used to always tell me the measure of someone character isn't what they do while everyone is watching, but what they do when no one is watching. Having her cheat on her husband a few times, learn a few new tricks from her new lover, and after really caught and confessed to the husband, now offers to share what she has learned with her husband, has always left a bad taste in my mouth and doesn't speak well of her. Sure giving the gift of life is a wonderful thing, but she as his wife seemed to forfeit her right to expect anything else from the marriage. But the one thing I always hated is the question I ask myself when I see this in a story "Doesn't it bother either the author or the character that their mate is out getting "hands on training" from another person in the art of sex? Do that they not care that much what their mate did as long as "they" received the benifit of the end results?" If that's the case why the heck did they ever get mad in the story in the first place. To me thats a wasted emotion and undue stress on everyone involved if they are going to just ask them to stop cheating and get them to share what they have learned from their other lover.

I guess what also really hurt it for me was the fact that he became a bookend husband. He sat there in the marriage waiting, for how ever long it took, for his wife to confess what she had been up too. And he really didn't do anything else till she did. The way the story was written if he had, had sex with her, I bet she would never have told him. It was only because she didn't get any sex from the husband that she even confessed. And that was only cause "he" forced the issue by asking if he was giving her love then who was giving her just sex. That really doesn't speak well of her. I say that because most often folks will confess to what they did when they see no other option or way out. And that's what I really saw in her by the end of the story, because her 'pretending' nothing happened didn't pan out.

=(

-Risq

I don't think anyone can wrap so much emotion, talented creativity and depth into never more than 2 pages with such innovative variance.

We or some may not always agree but the head tilting always confronts some segment of reality enough to wonder why.

A story will never satisfy or fulfill to everyones expectation as even a novel can leave something off the table that we might have wanted or done differently.

The pleasure you bring with fervor each time out is an always changing complex viewpoint based in some possibilty of life that never changes in the credibility and respect of one or more characters. You always deliver consequence in some shade for one or all involved.

Others could learn more by the what and how you shape differently but consistantly the realities of consequence to fit your scanario and viewpoint.

There is comfort in your theme but each contains nooks and crannies that push considered acceptance.

I don't know how you do it but look forward to each offering knowing there will be a sharp edge in there to consider. You make us contemplate the what and why as to our own minds position.

Author - you are appreciated for your varied menu in a constant direction which is appealing and addictive.

Thanks - With Very High regard

At first, I thought that you posed an interesting conundrum to the husband in this story. Then upon further reflection, it came to me that giving a kidney to someone entails its own huge set of risks. Just by that one act, the wife was able to show real remorse. That added to the fact that she voluntarily exposed her affair, and I could see how reconciliation was plausible.

Of course, you could have gone in another direction and had Gwen divorced from Paul. It is a testament to your story telling ability that I know you would have written that outcome with similar style and thoughtfulness.

In fact, it is the thoughtfulness, not the outcomes of your tales that make me a huge fan. Thanks again.

I liked Risq_001's comments.

I agree that the husband, no matter how grateful for the kidney, should really have had some backbone. Was he really waiting for his wife to confess? And, how could he live with her if it was such a problem (ie. he was not interested in her sexually)?

As far as he knew, she was still seeing her lover. So, why would he continue to wait? when prior to the accident he was going to throw her out?

Obviously, he would be conflicted over the donation of the kidney, but surely he in losing his kidney he didn't also lose his self-respect too!

Good story though, and much better written (grammar and spelling, too) than most. HDK's stories always get my interest, even if I don't always like the characterizations or apparent inconsistencies.

thx for the enjoyable read,

Artie

Donating a kidney is a risk; I know someone who died from the anaesthesia while saving his brother with a kidney. Staying with a cheating wife now "reformed" is a risk. Here the risks paid off... in a beautifully written story. BRAVO!

I agree with Risq that this story left me with mixed emotions.

First, the passivity of Paul indicated a misplaced guilt that her donation of her kidney entitled him to stay with her forever.

Next, Gwen's confession seems to a bit naive. Her husband does not want to have sex with her when in the past he was the initiator and he certainly never refused opportunities before. Paul quickly agrees to go to a shrink which is not typical for people in denial over issues. Then Paul loses his erection in the shower when she touches him. What does she need a big sign saying "YOUR CHEATING AND LYING IS THE PROBLEM?"

Lastly, the affair seems to be broken off more by her lover being a jerk than by guilt and remorse over her actions. In fact, she wanted her lover to fuck her like her husband. What lead to her seeking out a lover?

The only thing which makes it credible that she will not stray again is that you cast Paul's accident as a life changing event(LCE) for Gwen. There was a short film called "You are what you were then" narrated by a Texan psychiatrist who asserted that other than LCEs a person's values and disposition was settled by age 10. As a basis for this theory he cited the attitude differences between the generations (depression era vs '60s generations) about money and work incentives. A LCE is the only basis for believing that this time it is different about Gwen and whether she will cheat again.

You wrote an excellent story and I look forward to future submissions. Thanks again!

SleeplessinMD

For me what made the story great is the powerful emotions it generated. Even before we knew why Paul was miserable, it was clear that something was wrong. And his anger and pain, in the scene with the shrink, were beautifully depicted.

That you can inject humor into your stories, even one as serious and gripping as this one, is an extra bonus. Thanks so much for your great writing!

ohio

when I started reading here at Literotica and this story shows all the reasons you are. Your grasp of emotion, your depicting of the entire story are so real and true to life that it's as if you've experienced something like this yourself. It's the earmark of a good writer, if you can take a scene pictured in your mind and put it in words that grasp a readers imagination and soul. You do it well.

A fan since the start,

Danielle

She's now "Damaged Goods" and he reconciled anyway? That makes him a LOSER! Hopefully he knocked out some of Ben's teeth at least!

Thanks for ANOTHER well-written story!

should copy Peggytwitty's post and have it in front of them in large print every time they write a story. AND TAKE NOTICE OF IT!

For really good measure add this part of Risq's comment to your reminder sheet too, and think hard about it while you write:

"But the one thing I always hated is the question I ask myself when I see this in a story "Doesn't it bother either the author or the character that their mate is out getting "hands on training" from another person in the art of sex? Do that they not care that much what their mate did as long as "they" received the benifit of the end results?" If that's the case why the heck did they ever get mad in the story in the first place. To me thats a wasted emotion and undue stress on everyone involved if they are going to just ask them to stop cheating and get them to share what they have learned from their other lover."

My deepest thanks to both these commentators for their great insight.

We may we'll get a few authors pointed in the right direction eventually... maybe!

Another excellent story, HDK. Paul was stuck between a rock and a hard place and you handled his situation very well.

Good story even if it was not erotic and depressing, but the ending was fairytale. Leopards do not change their spots anymore than a slut will ever stop cheating. What triggered the wife to do it will always happen again, kidney do us part or not.

HDK wrote a fine story about conflicting emotions, conflicting values, and conflicting endings. I have to agree: it sems the best way to get 100's around here is to hang the bitch after you burn a scarlet letter on he forehead. The reason he had her donate the kidney was as a vehicle to create that conflict. Even the husband said that if he hadn't been t-boned they would be divorced by then. She gives him the gift of life on the very same day (or thereabouts) that she takes away his REASON for living! A great juxtaposition! What surprised me is so many other establish "authors" raggin this man's ass. HDK never fails to satisfy and is gettign away from the formulaic rules for getting a 100's and moving into new territory.

It seems we have 2 armed camps here: one, let her get away with everything and wallow in it and the other: tie her up, flog her and then leave her penniless on the nearest door step. HDK gave a reasoned approach that sometimes things aren't alwys black and white. Sometimes, granted maybe not often in the Literotica world, but sometimes people do deserve a little forgiveness. Will she cheat again? Only if HDK wants her too. :-) Ask yourself "If I were her, would I run that risk again?" I most of us, if we are mature rational adults, would not.

Keep writing HDK. Write about themes and ideas you want to explore. I will be there to read it!

For me it wasn't what you said here:

"I have to agree: it sems the best way to get 100's around here is to hang the bitch after you burn a scarlet letter on he forehead."

If you don't agree with some of us poster, you really should point out why instead of paint us all with a broad brush.

For me it was two things that kept me from giving it higher than 50%

1.) The wife was cheating and was doing her best to get away with it till the end of the story. And it wasn't untill the very end of the story that she knew what the husband knew. She was willing to just pretend it never happened. If the husband hadn't asked her "If your coming to me for love then who are you out getting sex from" she never would have confessed. He "guilted" her into a confession in the story. That's what I meant when I said your character is determined by what you do when you don't know who's watching. She didn't know her husband knew, yet she was willing to play him for the fool for over 6 months. That for me doesn't sit well. For me it's like giving someone an appology but your not telling the other person why your apologizing because it might make them mad at you. And it wasn't till her accident that she thought about what she had to loose. Not during the affair, but only when her husband was going to die. I would liked to had seen her be sorry for the right reasons, or atleast some time alone to really reflect on what she did to the family with her selfishness.

2.) The husband didn't "DO" anything because she gave him a kidney about her affairs. I'm not a fan of the get even with an affair by having an affair, but in some stories it does work. I'm not a fan of physical revenge thing carried out by the husband either. That for me never works because most author's have the husband only beat up the other man but tell the wife he loves her too much to ever touch her or do anything to her and now that he's made the other guy pay they are able to start fresh. And in some stories the other guy never knew the wife was married, but he long as the husband got to hit someone it was all good. I could never understand that thought process in a story, it's like they are regressing their characters back to the 2nd grade.

But in this story the husband did nothing. He had sexual urges, but he did nothing. He wanted to confront her with what he knew, but he did nothing. He want to kick her out, but he did nothing. All he did was rage internally, never knowing if the affair was over, never caring, but through it all he did "nothing". For me that was anguish and wasted emotions. If all she had to do was say she was sorry "after" the affair was over for the husband to forgive her, why the heck did he ever get mad in the first place? He should have waited how ever long it took till she got tired then asked her to show him some of her new talents. If he was mad for more than that, then the husband should have done "something" other than sit in a corner and wait until his wife made up her mind to quit cheating on him and say she was sorry.

For me it had nothing to do with branding and everything to do with how the characters handled the situation. The husbnd for me felt flat and kinda 2D. I say that because he didn't nothing but rant at his shrink, but for the wife, just pass on sex till she says she's sorry about cheating.

-Risq

I couldn't say it any better than Chagrinned's comment. It wasn't too sexual a story, but it was a damned good one. I think it's one that could be published as a short story someplace besides literotica!

I, for one, found this story refreshing and reassuring in the authors of Lit. I'm so tired of wading through gutless stories about 10 inch cocks and 36DDD breasts. It was so wonderful to read a story with believable emotion that was provocative as well.

I don't find it fair to downmark a story because you don't agree with the main character's decision. A very well written story! Please keep up the good work!

I have pretty much read all the comments. Furthermore, I realize that Paul is not me. Neither is HDK for that matter.

I think I know why the wife entered that affair. I think it was very much due to her submissiveness (in addition to the usual seduction). It is natural that anybody would not confess for anything unless that was the best option because of the risks involved. I really blame the wife for starting the affair not for not confessing. Instead of confessing, you would normally try to make up for it.

I think the coversation at the end is sarcastic. HKD nearly always does it like that. Paul cannot be serious if he says would you let me fuck you in the ass like that jerk wanted to do to you but you did not let him? Whey he says that, it is obvious that the wife has been forgiven. Would she really say, "No, but I would blow you and swallow."? Not likely.

It is complicated when someone does you a huge favor after wronging you greatly. Are you obligated to forgive them? I do not think so. It may be something like: I will always be indebted to you, but our marriage cannot go on (like this). Also, in this case, we can argue that she was the indirect cause of the accident. Say if someone hits you and donates a kidney to save your life which they nearly ended, are you really indebted to them? Keeping your own kidney is better than recpacing it with theirs after all (in addition to the other damages). You could be even and then consider the current situation.

In comment at the last question HDK posed, I say that is not the worst case. Usually we discover how we should have done something when it is too late, such as when the other party has dies or rebuilt their life without us, etc.

Thanks for a great story.

The kindey was a good idea. It forced him to look at his wife/marriage as a whole rather than just be overwhelmed by the recent affair. The time spent recuperating also gave him time to get over the initial shock and hurt instead of just going with his initial reaction.

My only problem is that he seemed to push the wife into admititng the affair even after he had said a spontaneous admission was the only thing he would accept. Its probably realistic that he would have to push rather than just wait for her conscience to kick in. Maybe that (confession) would happen after a one time slip but this was an ongoing affair - doubtful that she will spontaneously regret it now enough to come forward since she must have had time to think on things while the affair was going on.

Im not saying he wouldnt have to push her into admitting the affair and Im not saying he should have dumped her (the kidney's other big use was that it let him get over some of the insecurities and doubts - he had a tangible way to prove to himself that his wife still cared rather than just her words once the jig was up).

Just think that for someone who was so set on needing a genuine show of remorse, he did settle somewhat quickly for a confession that was about 75% forced and 25% spontaneous. The story would have been better with some more soul searching and doubt on his part at the end rather than just jumping to the happy ever after. Again, not saying they should have split, just that things did move forward rather quickly at the end and that the author seemed to reduce the entire marriage to sex. i.e. as long as he has the promise of more and varied sex, the rest of the baggage involved in the affair (lying, implied disrespect/lack of love and concern, is sorta just forgotten about. The kidney was a great place to start (not because he owed her something but because it was a concrete example of her feelings for her husband) but the husbands words at the end didnt consider this much and just focused on the sex.

All in all, a very good story that was really tight with lots packed in a small space. This was a real short story rather than just a snippet from a longer work with many things forgotten about or discarded like so many two pagers on this site seem to be. Thanks much for writing.

As always a greatstory

Ya'll don't see my comments on stories, but I will compliment this one. The conceptual development of "discovery" is displayed emotionally in a very dramatic turn of events: yet, this can happen in real life. It happened to me, in a sense, and though I wasn't caught "going into a hotel" - the suffering and effects on my husband was similar to Paul's... yes, this story was excellently written, from his point of view.

I was in an ICU unit, after a near-fatal brain hemorrhage, when my husband heard a voice message left on my cell phone from some man whom I had LONG AGO parted ways with - this was not a "sexual" message, and the man has never been an "affair" so to speak - but the effect on my husband was the same. Here was his wife, suddenly paralyzed from a stroke, and he was left with these unanswered "questions" in his mind about some "mystery man."

Yes, "If I Needed Someone" is good writing, indeed. Forgiveness is what love truly is - we have been married 30 years, and I still lust for my husband. How lucky is that?

On a scale of 1 to 5, this story rates around 14; or maybe 23.

Okay, certainly not the most erotic of stories (a factor, given the venue), but even so, a wonderful character study and analysis of cause and effect.

On occasion, you write stuff which is "rather mediocre" (to be kind). But when you're "on", the story lines and the logic are almost flawless. Those are the stories which have me at the grocery store checkout line, wondering why I don't see the paperbook reprints of work by HardDaysKnight.

Write on!

-- KVK

I shouldn’t second post as they always appear self-serving but after reading “Kanga40” (thank you) I realized I shouldn’t be praised but taken to task for putting all the real life stuff out their.

If we are going to have fantasy stories then we need to let reality be tweaked or forgotten. I take these stories and compare them to real life as that’s where I find the enjoyment of getting involved with the characters and dialogue. Authors such as “Harddaysknight” write so exceptionally well that I see the story in my minds eye and it makes it like I’m really experiencing the story. This is real entertainment when the author gets you so hooked and involved in his portrayals. I like some stroke stories, but love a story which I can believe in.

I have been told by Authors I respect to lighten up and enjoy the fantasy, and they are right, I should relax and just not get over involved as if it was real life. This is escapism, eroticism, and fun.

I have spent my life dealing with human nature and I guess it’s hard for an old dog to let go of reality of peoples psyche. I have had to try and lead people into their own reality and that’s hard to let go. I like to comment on how storylines might be confronted in a grounded self assured character or how that can be built with insight. That shouldn’t take away from fantasy if it’s not to over the top. As one Author told me get a hobby and take up fishing.

I have to say “Risq_001”, “Chagrined”, and “DJ” and “FC” your insight is so often on target and worth contemplating and sometimes worth arguing about. Most disagreements are because we don’t articulate our meanings and it is then misconstrued, I do it all the time.

I’ve had my times; still do, of being more irrational then a lot of the characters portrayed here. You of course have heard of me, the person who likes to hear themselves talk.

So don’t take me seriously just tell me to SHUT UP and get my own fantasy life.

The self proclaimed know it all!

Peggytwitty

Always enjoy your stories. And Peggytwitty don't even think about not commenting on stories!! A lot of the time yours and some others comments are as good as the stories. No way am I a writer so I don't go much whether than thanking the authors of stories I like. I don't want to have to pull my foot out of my mouth;)! LOL!!

Peggytwitty - Just accept the praise.

Suspension of reality is okay in fiction, but the propositions must still be reasonable.

We can't suspend all 'normal' thought just because we are reading fiction and accept most writers' proposition that all females are brain dead - it just won't work for me.

I enjoyed this - Paul was on the horns of a hell of a dilemma and I guess his solution is as good as any. Wow, what a plot. A tip of my hat to a master storyteller.

Having someone give you a kidney changes your life. I know it did change mine. Well written story and it is fiction. Some of the reality of a kidney transplant are the drugs with side effects that often impinge on one's ability to resume a normal sex life.

Reestablishing trust is the hardest part. Not much was said in the story about it... or what happened when you went to the mall.

Before I present my view on this story, let me respond to Chagrined “two camps” of readers’ dichotomy. With all due respect, allow me to take exception. I believe that there is at least one more camp among us. I further believe that there are more readers in it, who may not have realized it until now. The third camp should be called: the “Author, Build your case” camp. I strongly believe that if quality writers such as HDK would not have left such HUGE gaping holes in their plots as did HDK here with the almost absolute TABULA RASSA that we have on the wife’s affair, the margins, and the level of debate between the two camps would have been on a totally different scale. HDK, I believe that if anything, your readers admire your work TOO MUCH. If that admiration means that knowing very little about a key character is acceptable, or if I hear the fantastic argument that a good answer as to the motivation of a character in a work of fiction is “I don’t know” or “no reason” – and still it’s acceptable by most – then honestly, I believe that this kind of “acceptance” is bordering with groupthink and does nothing but disservice to your work. Ok, I am now ready to be roasted. Remember HDK, it’s because I respect your work …

I have no PARTICULAR interest in the direction of the ending of the story, one way or another. A good story should ‘argue’ its way into the ending and into our minds on its own. (See above third camp credo). All I want is some semblance of convincing rationale, at least to the KEY developments. As it stands, you don’t provide the wife’s character even with a fig leaf…

Sure enough, HDK could be teaching masters’ classes for writers. In those classes he could assign the letter ‘X’ for say, the element which establishes the motivation of say the wife to take the road into being an adulteress wife, and leave it for each writer to fill the blank. Not so when the master has to actually sit and fill that X for his own story. Because, for the period of time when I get into his world, I want to buy into it and believe it “AS IF” it was real. I do not want to be deluded, but I want some SEMBLANCE of reasoning.

HDK delves quite deeply into the psyche of the husband’s character. In fact, his quiet and sober internal deliberations reminded me of the characters in “sense and sensibility”. The whole story is built on the progression of the husband’s psychological insight. And yet, we know nearly nothing about the wife’s reasons to getting into the affair. It’s as if we are told that she walked willy- nilly into it. She worked, she shopped, and then she had an affair by mistake, four times, even though she did not like it…Let me pause here. HDK, did you actually give your character the lamest of all - the ‘MISTAKE’ “reason”? Were you distracted when you wrote this part? Or were you in any other type of lapse, because I just can’t settle this with your writing…

Was she in a 'middle of life' crisis? Tensions at home? No, we know it was not the latter. Hey, I am not going to do the guess work here. For all I know, a woman with a relatively low libidinal drive, no known conflicts at home or at work suddenly had an affair, and continued it three more times even though she did not like her partner, or the sex…Can any one help me here, because I am very lost on her part in this plot.

BTW, reg. the P.C culture of 'effusive compliments - only' to favorite writers. Let me say again, I tremendously respect HDK, and where I come from you don’t respect someone by showering that person with compliments, no matter what that person does.

Not only why did she do it, but why did he not insist on the reasons? Or at least whatever she told herself made cheating with a jerk the thing to do.

Isn't knowing why usually an absolute requirement for forgiveness?

Thank you, HDK, for an excellently written story and thank you, Kolkore, for your commentary. If I might, I'd like to respond something you asked:

"Hey, I am not going to do the guess work here. For all I know, a woman with a relatively low libidinal drive, no known conflicts at home or at work suddenly had an affair, and continued it three more times even though she did not like her partner, or the sex…Can any one help me here, because I am very lost on her part in this plot."

My assumption when I read the story is that she cheated for the oldest reason in the book: curiosity. I think Gwen wanted to experience another man, perhaps paint some context on her sex life with her husband. Her low sex drive probably inhibited any earlier thoughts in this direction but the dearth of marital sex maybe pushed her to try. Once she started the affair, it wasn't so easy to end it I suppose until the accident happened.

Should HDK have explored her thoughts and feelings? Perhaps. I would've been interested to know what she thought she was doing and why. But I'll let the author have his license and I won't push for what I want. If I want it, I'll write it. :)

Again, my thanks to you both. Be well.

Very compelling, but what a fuking WIMP! How come you always write about spineless wimps? Don't you ever want to write about a man with balls?

my hat is off to the commentors kolkore,kanga40 and peggytwitty with much respect for speaking out.and being the fans of a good writer.

Like most readers, I am a big fan of yours, but I did not like this story at all. Primarily, because I do not agree with the premise that the wife should spontaneously confess her affair. Any normal wife, who has a one time affair, and then hears her husband may die from an accident, reacts by thinking: Thank God he didn't die. I hope he never hears about my stupid one time affair and we can resume our happy life. No normal wife , after his recovery, would ,out of the blue, say "Oh by the way, I had a one time affair and I'm terribly sorry" Human nature just doesn't work that way. Conversely Lterotica's apparent rule that husband may not simply confront cheating wife and resolve things but must sulk and rage internlly for weeks or months while he hopes for "spontaneous" confession is also irritating. Sorry, It probably doesn't sound like it, but I think you write some wonderful stories 60 year od George

Very realistic story!

If I put myself in his shoes it would be the same.

Great sory that I could inject myself into.

Like looking in the mirror!

Thanks for writing!

Sexmate

Simply a true story, even though it was fiction. Well thought out story and a hollywood ending. Keep up the good work, I am a big fan of your writing.

I liked it. Made me think about what I would've done in a similar situation. To be honest I have no idea how I would have reacted. I do have something to say about the wife tho. I don't believe for a minute that she came out of nowhere to tell him about the affair. I figure one of two things happened. 1) The good doctor Wright let something slip or just flat out told the wife about him knowing or; 2) The doctor was seeing the wife as a patient and around to the affair and helped convice the wife to say something to the husband. If it was the second thing it would mean that she was already debating on wether to say something to the husband about it the night before she confessed.

He let her stay, therefore he's a wimp loser.

It's pretty tough to decide whther he should have thrown her ass out or not AFTER she donated her kidney to him. Donating kidney is NOT some kinda gesture to show love, it's a BIG step proving that. He would have divorced her if not for the accident... so he wasn't a WIMP. But NO man with a good conscience would just throw the person out of his life after recieving a kidney from his wife. It would be a heartless act and he wouldn't have been any better that the other. Revenge can't be the ultimate answer. He already almost lost his life if not for his wife. So what the heck if he tries to rebuild the life with her once again, after she came clear and with enough remorse.

her donation of kidney and betrayal 4x, a disconnect. she said he was less than wounderful, yet she went back ? she must have derived some pleasure from the encounter, and her words to the contrary betray her. the renewed devotion, based on....? trust never quite brought back 100%

Outstanding stuff really.

Thanks

peggytwitty (first post) asks the fundamental question, what made her seek a lover? and the answer to that I think is at the heart of Paul's decision. Yes, Gwen did do something extraordinary by donating a kidney and that type of act deserves some respect. However, Gwen during her confession said,"I thought I could get him to be a gentle lover, but I soon realized he just wanted to fuck me any way he could." Does that mean that had Ben Pool been a gentle lover that she would continue the affair? If she was dissatisfied with Paul's lovemaking did she ever say anything to him? Is Gwen likely to cheat on Paul in the future if she finds a 'gentle lover'?

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I'm only giving this story a 75 for two reasons. The doctor isn't well handled. Either her role should be more developed and important to the story flow or it should be short and quickly glossed over. It is neither and thus distracting. The other reason for marking the story down is that too much of the backstory is missing which would better define the characters' motivations and behavior.

It was a pretty good story, even with the cliches, until close to the ending. During the wife's confession it read as if the main thing that was wrong with her affair was the fact that the other man was a lousy, selfish lover. You put too much emphasis on that and it really killed her character. We never even really get a cliche why from her as part of the confession. The husband was a pretty good character, albeit a little childish with the whole not going to confront her until she confesses nonsense. His character really fell apart at the end, when after her confession his main interest seems to be his wife becoming a more adventurous lover. That kills the character you had created up to that point for me. You have done much better.

4x's ? it took her that many times to figure out there was the problem with the man ? he scared her and she had, 2,3 ,4 ? the 'why' she even started ?

i would be far less certain - than he.

Why did she begin the affair, why did she continue it, and were precautions taken. Has she been tested? Yeah, I know the kidney transplant, the testing before, but a lot of diseases, read HIV/AIDS dont necessarily show up that fast. So now its forgive and forget and fuck away. Nope folks this isnt a fairytale. They will both remember, and when there are arguments and hurt feelings, this will come out. Hopefully the wife wont decide the worst was done before and this one will be easy. So the magic question, if she were my wife would I have divorced her. Well folks I would have had her served in the hospital, and I damn sure would not have moved back in with her. Women who fuck at work are whores, she isnt just a cheater she is a professional whore. That is not the type of woman I want as a wife. To quote a well know verse, it doesnt matter why, it doesnt matter how many times, you already proved you didnt love as a husband or respect me, end of story.

I like the stories that tell me and others about how things went after the problems.

.... but he should have told her she had to agree to 4 wild cards and 4 hard spankings.

i couldent have her back

Paul is too much into himself. Sex with others, while not proper, is not a life or death situation. Get over it Paul! You have a wife who truly loves you. They are hard to find.

Hubby is WONDERFUL according to wife. Wife is not that sexual a person according to both of them. Hubby has been asking for more sex and wife is not interested. So WHY would she take on outside lover? She has absolutely NO reason. She wasn't looking for more sex. All the other husbandly things were well taken care of by her husband. WHY an affair? The guy was pushy? OK, but she broke it off with him. She has to have some backbone. Why get started without any motivation? <br><br>

Normally I am against the big stall in taking action. Take a month or so to let the emotions settle out and then either commit to getting back together or get divorced. The long term struggles semi-together are just torture for everyone. However, we get the kidney donation. That IS a big gift and a statement of love. What would you do then? I think this story makes some sense but he decided he was not going to stay with her unless she confessed. BUT what if she had never confessed? He would be effectively "staying" with her anyway. I think that would have been brought out by his discussions with the counselor. Stay for X weeks and then leave. That was really the only question he went into counseling with and he never answered it. <br><br>

Beyond that I liked the story. He clearly stated that you can't stay with someone who is cheating on you and keep your self respect. I agree. If they stop, can you forgive them? That's the question. In the end, he got better sex out of her transgressions. He got her lover in trouble with his wife. Not bad.

forgiveness is not conditional

Love should be truly and unconditional

I may not like what you do, who you are, where you live. That does not mean I cannot love you truly and unconditionally which part of forgivness

Coming to terms is different from forgiveness, but it may come from love

:::::

You owe nothing to the person who saved your life.

:hint EMTS/Firefighters

At her age it is obvious that she was going through menopause. Therefore, with over active hormones, she is not responsible for having sex with another man. However, Paul is too much of jerk so he wants to blame her instead of giving her credit for being an above average wife.

I believed the characters and the situation.

No more need be said.

i still would have dumped the bitch

but this story brought out my forgive the bitch type person. I wonder if my multiple personality situation is whats behind this, or was it the story,(we) may never know.

'I just wonder why we have to wade through so much shit in life to finally reach the place where we can be happy.'

truer words have never been said! LOL

even i, a scorch and burn the bitch fan paused at this one....

a kidney....wow.

but ide fuck her sister and best freind as well cuz im a prick!

Particularly the emotional ones they make you do dumb shit - sometimes. They almost always make simple decisions harder though.

I would be hard pressed to drop her but she certainly deserved it if you remove the emotional baggage - heh -

There you go making people think outside the box again - heh-

Good story and good ending. She was there when it counted and said and did all of the right things at the end.

I still missed knowing her reasons for even starting the affair though.

Thanks and keep writing!

I don't think he should feel indebted to her. It seems a fair trade, she gave him a kidney and took his balls.

I would have taken the blow job at the mall and then kicked her cheating ass to the curb.

fixed that for ya :)

Happiness is made, it doesn't happen on its own. As for the comments about the bitch...they are juvenile. She gave a part of herself...not selfish....love. I wish anonymous would man up and use his real???? name. I enjoyed your story very much.

You write your wife stories that all end the same, you have no originality but you can write pretty well grammatically. Other then that all your stories have the same plot, there's no point in reading one if you read one before. They all have a supposed "remosreful" wife who never shows an ounce of remorse but is taken back wholeheartedly. Fine if that's your fetish then good for you but to write the same story over and over again without even trying to change the plot is just sad. As a writer dn't you have any real ideas that aren't just recycled from earlier works of yours. Yes you enjoy a cheating wife but everytime the husband is a wimp, never is he even remotely realistic in his actions No man will ever take a cheating wife as blatantly in his face as your characters do. A good man doesn't mean a meek and wimpy man who has to take his wife back without consequences. A good man is a man who knows right and wrong and understands consequences. Which none of your male characters are or do, rather they all seem like the lowest of self esteemed men who contradict the strong husband you seem to believe they are. I d

one can hope its the same one for both. TK U MLJ LV NV

she would be out the door end of story fuck her and her cheating

the last line, asking why we have to wade through so much shit, is really quite true

He got a kidney from a woman and became a simpering little pussy-wimp. Genes can be a bitch.

Good story. I liked it, but you have a problem. You've been overwhelmed with ideas, and you too hastily put them to paper and put them on line. Many things just need more time and more development. You're a fine story teller, but you're in too much of a rush. You're obviously a westerner. I'm an easterner, but even we easterners have some experience with cows. I say cows as in dairy. What's the old line? Two bulls espy a bunch of cows. The young bull says, "Hey, let's run down and fuck us one." To which the older bull replies, "No, let's walk down and fuck them all." There's too much of the young bull in you. Slow down, put more flesh on these short stories. I'm reading your story about Maria and the Trask man. I'm furoius with you. It's a great tale, but it was poorly proofed. You're a full five, but you could be a ten.

her saying she thought she could change him into a gentle lover like her husband is what would have got her the boot from me. i think that means she would have liked to continue her affair if he could just be a little gentler.

All these stories depend on men that are not willing to live alone. They are babies who desperately need their mommies. Well, time to grow up; mommy doesn't love you anymore kid.

Life isnt alway black and white, it is surrounded by gray zones that complicate straight forward situations. This story perfectly illustrates the gray areas, her selfless action in saving his life has complicated what would have been in any other circumstanes a straight forward dump the cheating bitch decision.

Gray areas are all about emotions. When weighed by logic they have no place. Gray areas are lies in life period.

Its black and white, but when people do things they pretend its grey in there head to do it to justify it.The grey people are the spies the politicians, celebrities, sport-figures,for example, but she cheated which means the marriage is over, justify it, moderate it, then bash your friends head in with a bat then (what thats evil, murder=adultery both are sins and yes if you believe, then you know you are going to the same place) justify it, then grey it up.It Is called morals, grey standards dont have them neither do cheaters.

She says they fought every time and she didn't even like him.

Then, uh....HOW DID YOU START FUCKING HIM?

But the question of why nags at me.

By her own words she loved him, he was good man, father, husband and lover. Why turn cold on him and begin an affair with a guy she didn't like. And why continue it after the first time if it was so bad.

Talk about second chances, Takes an almost tragedy to keep them together. sacrifice and remorse. if this is based on a real event, I am guessing they are so close you cannot see day light anymore. what a bond now. like its said, you never know what you had until its gone or almost gone. This fits.. well done. 5 stars

Is this the rule for HDK? For real... a kidney is all it would take? Shet, it was the distraction of seeing her that took his attention away at that critical time. Appears she got off very easy.

She broke his heart, and gave him a kidney? Hm, I don't know if it is a fair trade. Plenty of other people could have given him a kidney - guilt free! Now he has a slut kidney inside him. I don't know about this. The other guy gets a walk, I don't like that either, I think I'd beat the kidneys out of him and leave him in a pool of blood. Nah, a frigid bitch wife who cheats on you after years of freezing you out? No good, dump her. Move on, you don't need her, thank God for internet porn!

She wanted the other man to become a gentle lover, like her husband was ?

So......Why not just make love with her husband ??

Five years of neglect and then pick someone else instead of renewing her marriage ?

If he had not seen her at the motel he probably would not have been on that street at that time to be hit.

Weird, those bucket trucks are big you would think the hit would be lower.

. . . is a little off but only in the timing details. From my understanding the donor part of a live transplant takes several weeks of qualifying and psychological preparation. Still, the story is well told as should be expected from such a skilled author. The more interesting part was hubby's desire for wife to out herself rather than respond to his accusation. That approach does make some sense and I think it was handled well in the story.

All-in-all a pretty good tale. The kidney transplant part was touching for me because my daughter had to go through two transplants before she died several years ago.

What a horrible little tale! Trapped by guilt! How foolish! She cheated on her own will, he reacted and got into an accident. She donated a kidney out of guilt, he stayed with her out of guilt. What a horrible way to live. Love is a choice you make every moment of every day. When you cheat, there are many, many moments when you are not loving your spouse. So many in fact that it is highly unlikely that you ever really loved your spouse. There are many other reasons to be married, financial security, social standing, companionship, maintaining an image for others peace of mind. That is good enough for many, others want to try for a mutually loving relationship, but that takes effort every moment of every day.

This comment is not directed at the author but readers who may read this story and think cheating sluts can change. Honest answer is, not bloody likely! If pressed I might give a two percent chance instead of the oh, more likely .001% that is closer to reality, but the gun to my head would have to be of a very large caliber and I would have to be absolutely certain whoever was holding the gun actually would pull the trigger! Once a cheating slut always a cheating slut pretty much says it all. Personally I've never understood guys that marry cheating slits, if they would cheat on hubby number one, you can bet your last penny they'll cheat on numbers two to however many stupid idiots they can get to marry their sorry asses. You would have to invest in a great chastity belt, locking ball gag and a short chain attached to a locking collar to even feel a bit safe and even then the bitch might get by with everything from handjobs and tittyfucks to foot jobs or just letting guys jack off on her! Of course you could cut off her hands, feet and tits, then mutilate her to the point that no other man would want to touch her, but would you want to touch the slut after having gone to all that trouble and expence? Best to just accept reality, plot out a realistic revenge and then forget the worthless bitch ever lived. Cheating sluts run off with their lovers and never heard from again all the time! Just be sure that the bodies will never be found, and have an airtight alibi...just sayin'!