by elisebos
TS isn't in my bag of fetishes, but you really pulled me in with this one, elise. Your premise plays out in an interesting and believable way. Your two narrators had distinct points of view and that contributed to the depth. And of course it's steamy in all the right parts too. Well done all around.
Cheers,
-PF
A fun sexy story that has just a little more than pure sex. Very enjoyable!
The action was hot, which is always important. More importantly, you've created two characters, one troubled, who makes a decision in the heat of the moment that is wrong, and she feels guilty, the other is self centers and manipulative. Both are at the same time victims and villains. Yet, they fit together so well. Personally, I'd expect Jess to use, abuse and then discard Lauren, and that makes me sad for Lauren. Great story.
I really enjoyed your writing and definitely enjoyed your story. I hope you consider continuing it. I think you did a great job developing your characters and would love to see what else they can get up to.
Nicely done the way you had it you can do a sequel I would love to read it I'm way into hermaphrodites
i feel this was the beginning of their love story.
Fun story, glad that I stumbled across it. I'd like to see where this is going, I think that the tables need to turn again.
Only critique I have is that Lauren's desire for her roommate isnt very well spelled out at the beginning. I mean she gets off on the noises from the room next door, but there is no indication that she "wants" her roommate until she barges in and assaults her.
Still a 5-star story in my book, so take that criticism for what it is: a mild suggestion from a fan.