by Safe_Bet
An interesting take on Valentine's Day, only I think it would have been more touching had you written it in the third person. Yet, I get it.
By writing it in the way that you did, you removed yourself from the holiday, which is why I gave you the highest score. Excellent job.
LOL
All I can say is that I'm glad our stories posted on the same day so no one can say I copied my idea from you. Honestly, it was the only way I could stomach writing a Valentine's story right now. I really like yours, though. You did a good job expressing her fantasy that seems very well grounded and real. Mine is more about loving herself.
Good luck in the contest!
If you feel as you write, then I hope you can marry someday. I'm not sure if I've ever seen anything quite like this. it's beautiful, honest, and haunting. If there is ever a place for it as I feel there is and if you so wish it, then I hope you are able to marry. umm, I know I sound like a jerk for saying this (I don't think I'm your type), but please keep writing! your work is really, really good.
Your entry immediately reminded me of Elinor Rigby. I think the guys who wrote that did pretty damn good. Great job.
Poignant, emotive and well-crafted. Well done girly. IMHO you join imp and glynndah as one of the few here to use second person with great effect. Thanks for the story.
written quite professionally and it was definitely emotional and moving. keep writing !!
Very erotic yet filled with yearning. I was also real impressed with the way you wove the plot so the erotica fit beautifully in the context of the rest of the story. You go, gf. xo, S.
I was captivated. The absence of a real lover made it all the more erotic. The way you visualized, using light and shadow; put me right inside your head.
Love the way you manage to pull the reader in so effortlessly. Really compelling stuff. Very sensual, very well done. Good luck in the contest.
Your writing really sucks. Your imagination is null and void and your stories are predictable. You are predictable, and loud... and vulgar. and boring.
You speak with the hurt of a woman who needs a sensitive touch. You write with ease. It is a great piece.