All Comments on 'Impact on the Heart'

please dont let this be the end there were some spelling mistakes but over all i give it a five plus and i would like to see where this goes pleaseeeee

Thank you for this chapter! While it could stand by itself as a good story, I admit that I am looking forward to further chapters.

Once again you have written a compelling story and I look forward to more chapters. I also like how you included the characters from "Tits for Tats" in the beginning. Maybe they can become part of the next chapter, especially since Jake may need a hand with the ex-boyfriend and crew. All Kevin would need to do was stand there.

This was really well written. Some spelling errors but hey, it got the point across. I'd really like to see this continue.

I gave it a 5 in spite of some wrong word usage - looks like maybe too much reliance on the spell checker (for example, "own" was spelled correctly, but it should have been "on"). And I am looking forward to the continuation of this story - please don't let this be all of it.

Now I am off to look at your previous works since this is the first of yours that I have read.

A damn fine story. Would like to see where this will go but then again Jake and Casey know all they need to know. Suprise us.

I agree with all of the comments, including the ones about using "SpellCheck." But that isn't enough for a story; it needs "proofreading" to make sure that you used the correct words. SpellCheck does not distinguish between "to" and "too" etc.

That being said: this story was predictible as to where it was going. However, why did you quit in the middle, before the "final scene" where the police come to assist Jake [not "big" Jake] clean up Phillip and his friends. I can pass on the "Casey and Jake lived happily ever after," but I missed the barroom brawl. Either that, or I was waiting until Ghost and Darkness made their entrance to help Jake in his fight with Phillip, et al.

All kidding aside: it was a very good story. A welcome addition to your List of Submissions, albiet too long.

I liked the story and would like to see additional chapters. You have talent for telling a story, but you do need an editor. The typos are a distraction to the flow of the tale.

I would think that $200 worth of flowers delivered to her office and his unabashedly loving attitude would make her wonder what's going on thinking 'is he a psycho'?

Then your spelling started to deteriorate. Hansom? The spellings got worse after that later in the story. It felt like you thought this story was sappy and didn't concern yourself with re-reading it to catch those mistakes.

I have read other stories of yours that were well written and well edited. I just don't think your heart was in this one. 4*

What I love about your stories is the loving tenderness contained therein. The gentleness between the characters makes you my favorite author. The fact that there was no hot sex did not matter. Keep up the great work.

Do not worry about the editing, or spell check. Any one can do that. Not everyone can write a beautiful love story.

not to make an excuse out of it but when I write out story my dislexia is going full bore. i go back and fix things, first with spell check, then with four seperate readinbf spacked at least a moneth apart each. I then rad it back out loud to myself and offten to my wife. then I submit it and read it back on the sites different font.

in this story just uner 25,000 words there were over 5,000 miss spelled words tha the spell checker caught. after that i have no ideea how many i fixed I will always miss a fewbut I am getting better story bu (by) story.

I don't use and editor so that i can get to be a better writer on my own. I'm working at it but it will take time.

Noqw (Now) having read your way through less than a hundred word of what most of my first drafts look like forgive me if in 25,000 I miss a few.

the rest is a ver poor public education

but i love to write. I will write. i will not stop. I will learn but it will take me time. But I thuink it's time well spent.

Enjoy my stories, I love reading comments be they good of bad...so thank you.

M.S.Tarot

I loved it! Thank you for sharing it with us!

liked the action

I loved the opening scene with Kevin and Sara, wish there had been a little more of them I loved their story so much! And the you get me hooked on Jake and Casey too! This feels like the beginning of a series here, I know you probably intended it as a one off but it's such a good read that left me wanting more of them. I want to know what happens after the will is read, who got THE car? Did Phillip ever himself in more trouble than a lost tooth? what dose her sister and mum make of Jake? I beg you to continue this story ark and for more of Kevin & Sara too.

Ignore the grammar/spelling Nazis, yes you make mistakes but not frequent enough or bad enough that you can not make out/understand what was meant or that it distracts too much from the story. I also have dyslexia so I understand how difficult it can be to write and have enough confidence to put what you do write out here to-be "Judged" often by critics far more demanding than I feel is fair considering they are reading for FREE! I Applaud you for your bravery and thank you for the many hours of reading pleasure your stories bring. My your muse be ever present.

I have two major comments to make. First, this was a sweet story that got hot. I loved having her play with herself while he read smut to her. I think I'll have to steal that seeing as I really liked how it played out.

Second, I applaud you for trying to improve your writing. However, you really need a proofreader. I'm not talking about an editor, whose job I would expect to be to make suggestions in the structure, flow, and content of your story. The proofreader should make sure that sentences are complete (something a grammar checker may do) AND make sure that you used the correct word, even though the word passed the spell check.

For instance, let's take the example "hansom" given by a previous commenter. Despite being the wrong word for the sentence, it is a real word, spelled just like you have it. So it would pass the spell check. I suspect, however, that you meant he was good looking (handsome) rather than a horse drawn carriage (hansom).

Looking at a bunch of the mistakes, I suspect you may be using an audio to text program and it has trouble understanding you for whatever reason. I have trouble using Siri for the same reason - I get a lot of really interesting sentences when I try!

Anyway, this was a great story and I voted a 5 for the story quality and concept, not the technical follow-through. Looking forward to reading more of your works.

Please continue their relationship!

I feel like a contented cat reading this. Laying front of the fireplace. A very, very good oneshot. :-) You have a gift that I wish I could...well...I don't know if I have it I never tried it! LOL

You are able to start a story and then you continue it to a certain point and stop. Same thing with your Pure Pigheadedness, Aurora, and several others. You just stop the sotry and say, "Look guys...this is it. I am done with the story, your getting no more." For the most part, you get it right. This is one of those stories.

Did I want to see more of what happened in their relationship? Yes I did. Did I feel satisfied with the end...80% yes. That's good enough for me. I was left with good warm fuzzy feelings that made me want to paint my celing with a shag carpet, same with the walls. :-)

Very good job. Thank you for writing it.

Sincerely, Payenbrant

There are things left unresolved or at least allowing for your dealing with... I'm sure you could really think up more points of contention and clearly we still have to deal with dirtbag Philip and his issues as well as her siblings...

Who knows, maybe except for Philip you have written a complete story and I just WANT there to be more even though it isn't needed...

Thank you for sharing.

your stories are brilliantly described. the characters are believable and the plots are beautiful. BUT! The numerous "typos", grammatical errors, misspellings, subject/verb disagreement and various other simple errors disrupt the flow of the story line to a sad level. Thus, the unfortunate reduction from what might be a 4 or 5 star to a lower rating.

A good proofreader with a thorough education in English grammar would help.

Please keep sharing your good tales.

A ways to go before this is finished

Slow burn ends up absolutely smoking. Great dialogue and a satisfying ending. 10/5

Great

Also liked the part about the family photo's in Casey's Dads house. The comments. I think a 40 yr. old Vette is worth a lot more than 20 grand.

Surely this is missing its ending?

For instance, what happened about the brother and the tosser??

It was good but you left us hanging what about the brother the car and more

"...historical tears."

OK, that's just...really bad.

Terrible.

You can't be letting silly malapropisms like this slip through if you want anyone to take you seriously as an author of anything. I'm sorry, but it makes you look like someone who failed sophomore English. Find a good proofreader to vet your stories before bringing them here. Good story ideas are fine, until you let bad execution ruin them.

"I work as a councilor."

A councilor is a member of a council.

The word you are reaching for is counselor, a person who provides counselor: viz. a marriage counselor.

"She may have known we were always close but she never let on if she did."

Punctuation matters. This sentence, as written, does not convey the thought intended. Which is:

She may have known; we were always close, but she never let on if she did."

"I still sorry. For you."

Come on, really? Is English not her native language?

Or....maybe English is not your native language. If so, you need to hit the books until you can do better than this, if you want to be an author.