In a World of Black and White Ch. 02

"But he won't. And you know he won't. Not until you say it. So...go ahead. Say it. Say it...honey. Beg for it and it's yours. You know how bad you want it. Just one word. One...magic. word."

"Oh...God! Not that. No. No. No!"

"Yes! Say it. You are that kind of woman and you know you are. Something's changed deep inside of you and you know you'll say it now. Now you'll say or do anything to have it because you can't live without it. Not one more minute. Say it and you can have it."

Alicia was picturing Trey towering over her, his huge cock gently bumping her pussy—driving her insane with temptation. She was doing everything imaginable to push or pull it inside her but he was so strong and so in control she couldn't move. She wanted him so badly but he wouldn't give it to her unless she said it. He said he was going to go 'all Shane Diesel on her' and he'd meant it. In the end desire won out and she gave in to her deep need for her new drug of choice and said it for the first time in her life.

And now, for the second time, she'd say it again because even though it would only be her husband, she could feel Trey pushing against her pussy as soon as the word rolled off her tongue. She could 'see' his eyes looking into hers. The game was over and Alicia had lost—again. "I want it. I want it SO bad! Please, please fuck me with it. Fuck me. Fuck me with your....nigger dick!"

Embler eased inside her and before she'd even taken half of his length, Alicia came. She came so hard and so intensely she squirted for the first in her life as she shrieked and cried out in pure ecstasy at the thought of having Trey's massive organ inside her again. His cock. His dick. His...nigger dick. Alicia now loved the sound of that word more than any other—at least in the deepest recesses of her mind as it truly had been the magic word that unlocked the door. The door she'd always been told she should never enter. It was the word that gave her what she so desperately wanted.

Their bed was mess of bodily fluids by the time he came inside her then watched it drip out telling her it was a black man's seed as Alicia basked in the glow of the warmth of those feelings. She was once again high on her drug of choice. Black cock was her new addiction and no matter how she might feel in the morning, she was in the sexual stratosphere for now and the feeling was unlike any other with one very big exception—the real thing.

As she lay there she wasn't sure she could rebuild her defenses again or if she even wanted to although the rational part of her brain knew it had to be done. All she could do was trust that Brad would give her some time, a few days at least, to mentally reconstruct those barriers allowing her to so she could tamp and stuff and try not to think about it again.

So no, this hadn't been the real thing, but she nevertheless once again high on a synthetic substitute. Trey had been her heroin and this kind of role playing was her methadone. She hadn't actually taken a black man's cock in her pussy and she didn't really have a black man's child—she allowed herself to say the word again as just the sound of it alone could almost make here come again—a...nigger baby—growing inside her. Alicia reveled in the way that formerly-forbidden word sounded to her now when she said it to herself and imagined a beautiful black man telling her it was okay to say it—that he wanted her to say it. In fact, he demanded and that meant she had no choice, right? It wasn't her fault. It was...his. He made her do it. He made her say it. None of that had happened, of course, but she could dream it had and were she honest with herself, she could even dream that maybe one day it might. So for now at least, dreaming was enough.

"Wow, that was so hot!" Brad said as he stripped off the sheets while Alicia headed to the shower.

"No kidding," she said. "I've never squirted before in my life." She poked her head out as she waited for the water to get hot. "You really know how to bring out the best in me, don't you?"

He loved seeing her smile like that again. And he'd loved hearing her talk like that even more. Truth be told, he couldn't wait to actually see her with someone again, either.

She was snuggled up against him for quite a while as they lay their in silence when she said, "What have we done, Brad?"

He kissed the top of her head and said, "We've created a monster, haven't we?"

"Can you just hold me?" was the only other thing she said before finally falling asleep.

The next morning, Alicia lay in bed wondering if this was how life was for an alcoholic or an addict. The high of the night before had replaced by another low filled with regret and self-loathing for allowing herself to do something she said she'd never do again. Okay, she'd agreed to let Brad run with his fantasy 'once in a while' knowing it was only make believe. And yet she'd gotten into it as deeply as he had if not more so. And had Trey—or any black man—been there last night, she'd have spread her legs wide for him and said anything he told to say including that most hideous of words. The magic word that opened her up—literally and figuratively—to a whole new world of pleasure. A world where reality didn't exist. A world where her adoring husband was as thrilled to see her take what she wanted more than anything in life as she was to take it. Taking nig....

She not only couldn't say it this morning, she couldn't even think it. As she threw off the covers something deep inside her told her, "You know you're going to keep saying it, Leece. You're not only going to say it, you're going to do it—again. You know it and I know it and you can play this game all you want, but it is going to happen. So tamp and stuff to your heart's content, but we know who wins this game. Hint: it isn't you."

She shook off the mental combat and headed out for a first cup of coffee hoping and maybe even praying Brad wouldn't bring it up again. To her surprise he didn't. At least not right then. In fact, he managed to go almost a week before he did and Alicia had managed to almost put up a minimal defensive barrier against it. The problem was, once the first walls had crumbled, rebuilding them was a waste of time. It was a sham. He no sooner got the first words out during their lovemaking than Alicia was utterly intoxicated with the desire for Trey or some other handsome black man to fuck her while her adoring husband enjoyed the show.

Alicia hadn't so much as hesitated when Brad demanded she use the N-word. In her mind, that word was now directly connected with a new kind of pleasure she'd never experienced anywhere with anyone else. She couldn't exactly explain it, but then, she didn't really care. It was most likely connected to the historical aspect of forbidden love—the white woman and the black man, and maybe that was all there was to it.

Regarless of the source, this new addiction of hers was consuming her. It was demanding its due and Alicia knew that role playing wasn't going to be enough for much longer. It was like phone sex when Brad was away. It was better than nothing, but it wasn't what she wanted and until he got home and gave it to her, the desire and the need never went away. This time, the needs and desires were even stronger and Alicia knew exactly what she wanted and that getting it was the only way to make them go away.

Brad also knew he was right. They had created a monster; a monster which, if they couldn't control it, could potentially destroy them and their marriage. Neither of them had even played with fire before and this...thing...was so hot and so potentially explosive it scared him to even think about it.

And yet it was all he could think about even though he'd vowed not to bring it up again for six months. He hadn't told Alicia that. It was just the best compromise he could come up with that gave him something to look forward to without letting it control him or more aptly—them.

Whatever willpower Brad had, Alicia learned that she had none. For two long months, Brad hadn't initiated any role play, but Alicia was busy creating elaborate scenarios in her mind wherein Brad found some new black man to bring home to her each time they made love. Just two nights ago, she'd fantasized about two of them ravaging her body and pounding every hole as she willingly gave in to their ever demand. She didn't say a word about any of it to her husband, but the fantasy was now controlling her.

"You're home from work early," she said. It was only 2 o'clock or 1400 in military time and Brad was never home before five and usually later.

"I'm going back to Afghanistan," he said with a stone face.

"What?" Alicia said. She was panicked by this sudden revelation. "Since when?"

"Since this morning when the division said it needed a captain to serve on a joint task force for sixty days. Out battalion got hit with the quota and because we did such a great job over there, the CO picked me."

"But you've only been back a few months and there are a lot of other captains in the battalion. Brad, this is...this is...bullshit!" Alicia was so frustrated she burst into tears, something she'd never done before. She knew when she'd married Brad she'd also married the Marine Corps and deployments went with the territory, but she'd always had several months or at least a few weeks to prepare. "When do you leave?" she asked as she tried her best to stop crying.

"I've got to be on a C-141 tonight, Leece." He turned to her and said, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea this was coming."

She nodded as he held her. "I know. I know you have to go. I just don't want you to leave me. Things have been so good again and...."

He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "We both know why they've been good, honey. We're addicted to the fantasy. Even when we don't say it, we're both thinking about it. And truth be told, we probably both want it to happen again."

"I know," she said. "It's like it's taken over our lives or something. But I can't help it. I think about it all the time and yes, I...I do want us to do it again—together. I want that so bad and I was hoping we could do it soon. But now you're leaving and it'll be two more months before we could even...."

She was crying again so Embler just held her. "I have to pack. I've only got a couple of hours before I have to be ready to go." Years of being assigned to things like a rapid deployment force ahd taught him to have everything he needed ready to go in an hour or less. All he had to do was throw in personal items like soap and a razor and he was done.

Once he had everything staged and ready to go he set her down and said, "Remember how this all started? You know, the video of my guy's wife with the black man?"

"Of course," she said.

"Well. I'm gonna be gone for two months. That should be plenty of time for you to...you know...find just the right guy...." Alicia's facial expression changed immediately.

"I forgot all about making a video because I didn't expect you to be leaving for another year or two." She looked at him in a way that told him she needed information.

"What is it, honey?" he asked looking down at his watch.

"Is that something you want me to do for you while you're gone?"

He smiled and kissed her and said, "Do you really even have to ask?"

"Okay," she said quietly. She mustered a brave smile and told him, "Brad? I love you so much."

"I love you too, Leece." He kissed her again as they heard a vehicle in the driveway. "That's my ride. See you in two months."

"See you in two months," she said back not wanting to let go of him.

"But I'll see you with someone else sooner than that, right?" he said with a wink and a smile as he grabbed his gear and headed out.

"Yes, you will," she assured him. She stood in the doorway and waved goodbye as the vehicle backed out of the driveway.

Alicia closed the door and cried for several minutes as she adjusted to her new reality. Life without her handsome, loving, supportive husband for another two months along with the very real approval she now had from him to do something she was almost literally dying to do again. Her mind was already swirling with ideas and possibilities—ways to make this next experience the best it could be for both her and her husband. Alicia dried her tears while at the same time another part of her body became very wet.

Three days later, Alicia got a text from Brad and they set up a time for their first call on Skype. After making small talk, Brad said, "So...how goes the search?"

Alicia smiled and said, "I haven't found Mr. Right yet, but I do have one very promising lead I'm checking out tomorrow."

"Hmm. Sounds rather interesting. Care to share any details with your very lonely, very horny husband?"

"Nooo," she said drawing her answer out while still smiling at him. "But I think you're really going to enjoy what I have planned for you if I can get this particular individual to um...play along."

"Oh! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment," he said. "You can't lead me on like that and just leave me hanging. Come on, Leece. Give me something to hold onto here, okay?" he said smiling back at her.

"Well, how about this? If things go according to plan, I should be making a sexy video for you this weekend. How's that for a juicy detail?" she teased.

"Okay, knowing the timeframe is a nice start. What else?"

"Um, let's just say this one will have a kind of...twist at the end."

"Oh, God," he moaned. "I'm so hard right now and so hot for you."

"Well, we can take care of that if no one else is around," she said unbuttoning her blouse.

Ten minutes later both of them came hard as they role-played their favorite new fantasy again. "That was amazing, baby," he told her.

"That was just to whet your appetite," she said wickedly. "I should probably let you go. Besides, I've got work to do here, right?"

"Right," he told her. He reached out and touched the screen and said, "I love you, baby and...good luck."

"Thank you, honey," she told him. "The next time you see me let's hope I'm not all alone, okay?"

"Oh, shit!" he said. "Can we pillow talk some more?"

"Bye, honey. I love you!" she told him as she blew a kiss at her iPad before it went black.

"Fuck!" Embler thought as he lay in his shitty rack—Marine talk for 'bunk'—looking up at the ceiling and wondering who Alicia would be with. Would he be another well-educated, sophisticate black man or someone more...dangerous? Just the thought made him hard again and he knew the next few days of waiting would be unbearable and yet oh-so worth it.

The next text he got from Alicia was two days later. He was in a meeting when he saw it and when he did, he lost track of what was being said. The text read: "Pay dirt! I've hit the jackpot. Which day works best for you to watch? (Not sure I can wait that long, though. jk.) Let me know soon, okay? Love you, Leece."

"Captain Embler? What's your take?" The Army task force commander wanted his assessment of the new counter-IED tactics and he had no idea what had just been said.

"My apologies, sir. There's something important going on with my wife and I lost the bubble here because I was reading a text from her. No excuse, sir. Just the truth."

"That's what I like about Marines. Nothing but honesty and integrity. As I was saying...."

Integrity. Brad would be in the promotion zone for major in a few months and since his first day at OCS in Quantico, Virginia, the only thing he'd ever wanted was to be a Marine officer...and Alicia's husband. But now this...this other thing...was consuming both of their lives and he had to ask himself whether or not he could stay on active duty and pursue this newfound interest of theirs. Was there a way to make it work and if there was, could they find it?

He'd vowed he never go back home and work in the family business as he had zero interest in selling furniture. His dad had done incredibly well at it and now owned four stores and Brad knew he'd like nothing more than to have his only son one day take over the business. But selling...furniture?

He pushed the thought out of his mind and focused in on saving American lives and gave his best summary of the proposed plan.

"Great. Then you'll take this concept to Kabul with us this weekend when we go to brief the deputy theater commander."

That meant they'd be in private rooms in the only hotel in the country with working Wi-Fi and that meant....

"Roger that, sir!" he said with a smile.

As soon as the meeting was over he texted Alicia. "Looks like Saturday night could be perfect. Your time, of course. I'll be in my room waiting regardless of when it is with the exception of...." He gave her the times he knew he'd be in meetings or have to spend with this Army lieutenant colonel if he wanted to do something that evening although there was shit to do in Kabul any day—or night-of the week. "Other than that, you tell me. Can't wait to um...see you. Love, Brad."

In less than five minutes he got a reply. "Perfect! How about 10 pm my time?"

He did the time change math and told her, "That works for me!"

Her short reply read, "Me, too. I mean...us, too. Oh, I hope you like the little twist I'm adding in for your viewing pleasure. XOXOXO! I am SO wet right now! Love you!!!"

Embler was so hard it hurt but he had hours of work left to do before he could even think about taking care of business—something he rarely ever did until his last deployment. But he didn't think he could wait until Saturday to um...blow off...some of the pressure that had been steadily building since he'd left home so the chance of a chicken getting choked later on seemed very high.

While Embler tweaked the brief after showing it to the task force commander, Alicia was busy getting things ready back on the home front or more specifically, in their bedroom. She had a camera installed that both swiveled and could be zoomed in and out with a remote and fed into her iPad. She tested it several times using Brad's iPad which he couldn't take with him (he used one provided by the government on deployments) and the video was sharp and clear and she loved the way she could focus in on any specific um...area...she wanted to.

She'd also gone shopping and found exactly what she knew her husband would love while he watched her. "Watched her," she thought to herself as she left the bedroom. "Mmmm...."

"Nice job, young man," the Army brigadier general told him. He looked at the task force commander and said, "Implement it as briefed, Colonel. All of it." Everyone came to attention as he left. Brad got a handshake from him and a pat on the shoulder as he left as well as the task commander's thanks. More importantly, he told him he didn't have anything else for him until the next day when they'd fly back to Kandahar.

Embler took a quick look at his watch and saw he had three hours to kill before it was um...show time. Afghanistan was 8 hours and 30 minutes ahead of east-coast time so Brad had time to get in a run in the relative safety of the Afghan capitol. It was hot in the summer but nothing like in Iraq where it routinely hit 120. It was close to 90 that morning but Embler didn't care. He got in a good five miles then took a shower and sat down to wait.

At 9:55 EST, his iPad started beeping and his heart started pounding.

"Hi, honey? Can you see okay?" she asked.

"Perfectly. That's the best video feed we've ever had."

"I put a camera in our bedroom and played around with the lighting," he heard her say. He still hadn't seen Alicia. He was looking at their bed and saw that the sheets were turned down as the camera panned around the room.

"So..." he heard her say. He saw her sit down on the edge of the bed and his semi-hard cock went rigid. "What do you think?"

She was wearing a the same kind of ballerina sweater only this one was a very light pink. She'd also had her hair and makeup done and he couldn't ever remember her looking more beautiful. He also couldn't help but notice she was braless and wearing nothing else but matching pink stockings and a pair of 5-inch pink sandals with ankle straps. She zoomed in on them and said, "These are my come fuck me heels."