In His Service

It was then I realized that my newly awakened feelings for the Colonel extended far beyond the mere limitations of flesh and blood. I was His. My life would be incomplete without him. To go on would only mean heartache beyond belief in the long run, when the inevitable came to pass and I was ultimately discarded.

Tears seeping through my lashes, I whispered "I can't."

The Colonel scowled at this, his surprise undisguised. Then, his finger beneath my chin, he forced me to meet his gaze.

"Why?"

A single word, nothing more, but suddenly the tears began to course down my cheeks in torrents. I tried to avert my face, but he would have none of it.

"Why?" he repeated once more, this time holding me fast.

Silently I opened my mouth to speak, the salt of the sea mingling with my tears, but only silence raised its ugly head. Finally, in a voice not my own I croaked "Because if I have to lose you someday, I would rather it be now while I can still bear it."

Trembling, I waited for his response, but instead he turned and strode alone through the surf, crossing the beach and vanishing through the trees in the direction of his cottage.

Long minutes I waited, gooseflesh rising on my skin. Then finding my clothing had been claimed by the hungering waves, I followed him, naked, along the path until I entered the cottage once more.

What I found there surprised me more than I could say. My bags had been hastily packed, and my Master sat pensively on the lanai staring out at the blue and troubled sea.

Wordlessly, I retrieved the first garment that came to hand and began to cover my naked body for the trip back to the dormitory. My heart was broken, the shame of failing Him more than I could have imagined.

Finally, as I reached for the door handle, he spoke. "Is that what you think of me?" he questioned abruptly. "Do you think I play with people's lives without considering the consequences? The women here are made available as a service for men like me, nothing more. They're willing bodies provided for a price, like room service. I've never asked one to leave here with me, and I never will again."

He paused once more, and then continued on. "Go, if that's what you want. I won't stop you, although I know that I could. If you want to return to the mainland with me, it has to be your decision. I don't want a whore, I want a woman whose feelings run further than skin deep. Make your decision!"

How long I stood, frozen in place before his steely glare, I have no idea. Finally, as I bent once more to grasp my suitcase once more, my eyes met his…and I knew.

This was not a man to gush girlish profusions of emotion, not one to ask a woman to share his life….but it was there. In his eyes lay the answers I needed, the hidden promises I craved so much. He wouldn't discard me tomorrow, or the next day, or for a thousand days to come. He was as bound to me as I was to him. Our shackles had been forged in this place, but they would endure long after we had left it.

Slowly I crossed the lanai and knelt by his side, my cheek lying softly upon his thigh. His fingers smoothed the wet curls from my brow, and I closed my eyes in contentment.

I was home.