All Comments on 'In the Basement with My Sister'

I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt on this one. The story isn't bad, but the grammar is tough to get past. A good editor could clean that right up for you and make it work. Good Luck on future endeavors.

stick to your primary language, or get some to edit who has english as a first language

i can't believe they keep letting such poorly written crap up

Sorry ... I simply couldn't get through the 3rd paragraph without closing the window. PLEASE don't post anything again without it having it proof-read 1st.. PLEASE

Niceish story but the way it was wrote if a bit like reading a 5 year old's schoolbook. Please learn how to write properly before you do more. I felt like i was reading something from Manuel in Fawlty Towers (British comedy programme a few years ago!!)

Um, don't you need to be over 18 to be in here? At least over 12, anyway.

People who write stories in the first person but preface it with a big fiction disclaimer are dicks. If it is fiction, write in the third person. Thanks

This is a story written by someone who knows his English is poor, otherwise he wouldn't have prefaced his work. Give the poor sod a chance. At least some of you suggested, rightly, that he use an editor or at least use a grammar check, but why take a pot shot at him at the same time? It isn't necessary and it isn't helpful. I also notice that the only one with the guts to add his name is the only one to offer constructive critisism. Do you others also wear masks to shoot fish in a barrel? And as for the comment about the use of first person! Fiction is fiction whether written in first second or third person.

The person doesn't know english very well so the fact it sounds kinda kiddish in language is a clear sign of that give the author a break.

i couldn't even get past the first few paragraghs if english isn't your first language then write in your first language and post it that way or get a good editor if you must post it in englishit is just to hard to read this way find an editor and do a rewrite don't use spell check it only checks to see that the word is spelled right it won't tell you if you are using the right word that is what editors are for so find a good one

You are aware of your grammar problems. In spite of them, I was able to follow the story and it was sexy. Sometimes there are native English speakers here that have even worse grammar, as well as spelling and punctuation problems. I must admit that my grammar in Spanish is even worse, and my vocabulary not nearly as good. Keep working, I would enjoy reading more of your stories.

either do it right or not at all, this is a poor first draft that NEVER should have been posted. you know you can't write in english properly SO WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN POST THIS HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. if you want to write either do it in your native language or keep it to yourself this needs to be deleted.

I like it if its a good story the grammar and such doesn't really matter it didn't throw me off a bit! For english to be ur second language you did really good! I'm just saying!

Your English did bother me a little, but not enough to stop reading the story. My 1st language is English and l'm sure l'm screwing up this comment. Keep working on writing stories, this story was great, exciting and l'd love to read more.

Have someone work with you on English while he/she is editing your story.

English is a difficult language to learn, l don't know why so many guys are being tough on you, but that's the way it is on the internet. I've read a lot of stories written this way and have been able to finish them.

Keep up the good work, you have a good imagination.

Now, I'm going to check out if you've written any other stories

Maybe you could get someone to go over your stories before you send them in. Don't be discouraged, we all have to learn sometime. A good job.

Say to her u fucked my friends let me fuck urs

Most of u can't even speak a second language and you are hating I him for that it's a good story and u think that there were only a couple not major but easy to point out errors

Your English is good for it being a second language. There was a few errors but I am impressed. I know a guy with English as his second language and his English is way worse then yours. Besides it is the internet you are bound to get hate.

I think you should make a part 2 and he can invite his friends and she can invite hers

Reminds me of summers on the Connecticut shore. We would go to my in-laws beach house every weekend. There was an outdoor shower enclosed with cedar board. From our bedroom I could look down directly into the shower without being seen and watch my sister-in-law and other girls visiting from the city as they came off the beach to shower. I'd stand there for a good 10 minutes perchin’ an’ jerkin’.

One Saturday afternoon I was alone in the house reading. My mother-in-law came off the beach alone early via the side screen door and went upstairs to change I thought. A few minutes later she came down the steps and headed out through the kitchen to the shower. She had big full breasts and I could see them swinging under the towel she was wrapped in. She did not see me in the living room. I was going to head up to my perch and jerk spot until I remembered the outdoor toilet adjacent to the shower stall had knotholes in it and you could see right through into the shower stall, inches from pussy and boobs without being noticed. As soon as I heard the shower start to run, I went out and sat on the toilet, watching as mom rubbed her vagina with soap and lifted her massive mamms so close I could have sucked her nipples... I was panting with desire. After a few minutes I snuck out and upstairs to jerk off before I was discovered.

A few minutes later, mom knocked on my bedroom door. She was in her bra with a towel around her waist only, back turned to me and asked me if I could help her hook her bra. Mom was four hooker and I still had a boner from watching those puppies in the shower. I said “Sure Mom” and got up off the bed to pull her two bra straps together. One side slipped out my hand and as I tried to grab it and my right brushed against her breast. "Sorry, Mom" I said. She said nothing, but leaned over to re-position the bra strap over her shoulder. As she did that, the towel slipped down. I grabbed it to pull it up, but too late. Mom bent over to get it herself and I saw her pink pussy lips gape open from behind, covered with peach fuzz. My rod was rock hard. Mom did not move, and stayed bent over my bed doggy style. My cock pushed through my drawers and pressed her substantial ass from behind. Mom did not move, but only lowered herself like a bitch in heat. My throbbing member slid easily into her bulging labia. Her cunt was hot and wet. I thrust up deep and pumped her hard, bending over the small of her back and grabbing those luscious melons in my hands. It seemed like an hour, but I must have blown my load in like one minute as I heard Mom groan. I pulled out and saw my jizz dripping out of her swollen pussy. Mom grabbed up her towel and scurried out of my room without asking me to re-snap her bra.

Interesting story and events. Hopefully, they can get along better but she is trying to educate him and teach him. Hopefully, she will be cleaner and treat him better but the sex lessons will improve his self esteem and put him on equal footing with his buddies. Maybe, his sister will become his sex education coach all the time ? Thnaks and we need more please.

I think this was just wishful dreaming on her part. I had a similar situation with my same age female favorite cousin. However, ours was real. Because we had a bad thunder storm & she came into my bedroom, scared. By unplanned mistake she happened to touch my erect penis. After that it was in her hand & without any warning she asked me to try & insert it into her very tight vagina. I got it into her & almost immediately shot my load in her very wet vagina. We both worried secretly for the next two weeks, until I finally started my period.

You should have someone who is fluent in English proofread your work before you upload it. It is obvious that English is either your second language or you don't have any idea how to write. When people make simple mistakes like jumping from first person to second person or from present tense to past tense, it really does detract from the story. A large number of people will stop reading after they see errors that most people will learn to correct before they are out of grammar school.

The obvious of Sister being a Total Saggy-Tittied Whore and Brother being a Small-Dicked Virgin the dynamic slowly changed and Sister grew to actually care for her Brother as he was fucking her,and even apologized for calling him Little Dick and Pathetic.

In the end Sister may still be a whore but she now appreciates her Little Brother for who he is,and she wants to continue to have sex with him with his friends joining in.I am not saying Sister and Brother will ever fall in love,but as long as their Sibling Relationship continues along with their incest maybe they can be like Sibling Friends With Benefits and be happy with eachother.

Both you and your editor need to return to school to learn grammar.