All Comments on 'Inadvertent Incest'

Oblique actions may not satisfy the 'wham-bammers'. They are definitely better romance. Thanks

Nicely done. The plot developed naturally, you handled the description well and the outcome was utterly believable.

But when you got to the actual sex, detail was lacking. " I grabbed her ass and massaged her boobs" -- that's all the detail? No gentle touching? No comment from her about how good it felt? No question from her about how he liked the feel of her breasts? No answer from him? No asking hem to play with her nipples? No kissing them? Sucking them? No reaching for her pussy, touching it, feeling its warmth, wetness and tightness? No her hand reaching out to touch his cock and balls? No groans? No discussions about which technique felt better? Faster? Slower? Right there? No oral? No playing with her asshole? Or his? etc?

DETAILS.......

MORE details....

Wonderful Story!

Sometimes a lack of details is better than too many details.

That's what your imagination is for!

I love how you dwelt less on the details of sex and more on the seduction.

I can identify with this one -- in spades

if the readers need to think up their own details weather it be a beginning a sex act or an end it ruins the story. if we need to fill in any blanks at all you FAILED AS A WRITER, it is YOUR job to create the story so we can feel it and be in it. if we need to fill in the details we sure don't need a wannabe writer like you and neither does the site. delete and rewrite it PROPERLY using a good editor.

Good bit of back story, nice setup and tension. It's not a thesis but a nice quick hot story that still shows some feeling.

Oh, and to prospective reviewers - sign in if you don't want to be considered a useless little limp troll...

In terms of describing an unexpected hookup with an artistic soul/object of desire that happens to be a blood relative, this was quite good. My main quibble is that the narrator didn't bring much to the table outside of just being there.

Also the artsy girl's bedroom patter consisted of talking about herself & her dreams. Nice, but that's conversational onaism. The story didn't go the " Enough about me talking about myself, what do you think about me'' but it was close.

I understand that these people are probably just two ships crossing in the night- but I was looking for a delicious ' moment ' of mutual fear and desire. The details disclosed are very plausible and coherent, without doubt. I applaud that. Nobody was exploited and both parties will remember the interlude fondly. Kudos on that account. ****

you started good but you failed to finish it off. delete and stop writing until you can PROPERLY FINISH A STORY.

...well then get ready to write an album dear cousin, because that was just the explosive firecracker we had to get out of the way before the real show starts! ;)

Hehe, really enjoyed it, thanks for sharing it with us!!

...it's too short and the ending was far too abrupt.

A second chapter would remedy both issues........

Rapier