All Comments on 'Indecent Proposal'

Very good. Might have written a bit more about how she was affected after the divorce. Were her parents told? Still a very good read. 4 stars

Decent. The only thing missing is him finding another woman - not Charlotte unless she was willing to give up the escort business, and live a happy life. Lucy deserves be live alone, without anyone loving her or returning her love, and to live a very long life filled with regret. The story would get out - I wonder how the families would react. Probably holidays celebrated separately. And you can bet someone at some time would ask her "Are you happy now Lucy? Was it worth being a cheating slut?"

Is a rye chuckle kind of like barley laughing?

A great story. You avoided the trope where the husband, Mark, was not made into some uber guy who could do no wrong in his quest for vengeance, Where he could kick ass and plan a destructive vengeance on all and sundry. His reaction and consequent actions seem reasonable and believable considering his situation. Made your story more relatable and enjoyable.

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Well Done

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Pasqual

So William and the company get off with just a payout? Definitely not satisfying enough. William especially should have had to suffer more.

that started ok..... but ended with a whimper! just disgusting ending... so a sure five turns into a sad 1

At last a well writen story not been many over the last few weeks

But your version is the best

It was even handed and not overly theatrical

Congratulations

BUT, I would have liked Mark to walk into the sunset with Charlotte

just kidding

Not enough punishment for the bad guys.

Good story!

5

Good story!

5

There is something important about being able to look at yourself in a mirror and like who you see. This sentence made the story, speaking from the divorced dad side. Even though my divorce was because of a brain injury. You still have to be able to face yourself every morning.

Thank you for giving a man a set of cojones and standing up, calling them ALL out and doing the right thing.

Excellent story, although there would seem to be more need for details of her life in the aftermath and some retribution for William.

Way too small consequences, especially towards the so called "friends". 3 star at best and I'm being nice here.

Same old shit....what is this phase A , Phase B funny immature shit.. boring same concept stories atleast the style should have been different...

I love how he confronts all of them and is steadfast in his convictions. That he sleeps with the escort, not so much.

I would have liked to have seen a more complete ending. Exposure of William and the losers from his former company. More suffering from his wife. Not BTB but justified penance/suffering. A new love interest for Mark. The ending was passionless. They did the paperwork and the job was done, like taking out a mortgage. Putting the emphasis on the cheating phase makes that the interesting focus. Many Loving Wives stories either go full rage or ignore the ending. This story was especially good during the "cheating" phase but abandoned a vigorous ending, which could have been as interesting.

Excellent execution, with some novel elements, to a familiar story line. Thank you.

Enjoy reading this type of plot line. However it would seem if a woman spent 15 years with a man in marriage she would know him well enough to understand he would never agree to such a proposal. Nice twist with the body guard helping out rather than being a menacing neanderthal.

Contrived

Good story. Left me wanting more pain for Lucy and a horrible outcome for William.

2* - story needed some revenge on william

I gave you five stars only because you were by far the best story of the 15 posted today. As of right now, the average scores of the 15 are 2.47, so I think you'll find a few more like me grading you on a curve. This is a popular subject, RichardGerald's The Bridge comes to mind. I like how you made the man being made a cuckhold the strong one of the group assembled. Ironically, he, the security man and the escort were the only three of the bunch showing any moral character. That was well played on your part. Smashing the egos of the other participants was the best I've read in this subject. Mark left the island clearly stronger than anticipated, and he had a chance to eviscerate everyone there both personally and professionally. His IT experience plus the access to contacts through the marketing agency could have provided opportunities to extract payback while still getting his new business. Maybe that happened, but since it's left to my imagination, I came away seeing him weaker than he proved to be under duress. That didn't knock you away from giving you five stars. It did take you from being one of my all time favorites on this site. I do not expect nuclear responses or scorched Earth. I would expect a little explanation of the effect of his actions. I look forward to hopefully many more of your stories.

Average at best.

Not really an Indecent Proposal story though. This was planned in advance and there was no discussion or hesitation by the wife. Just a rich asshole trying to buy compliance with his money and a stupid, conniving wife who apparently had no clue what type of person her husband was.

Unfortunately not particularly original: One dimensional wife behaves like a bimbo, multi-dimensional husband lectures wife on her infidelity and consequences, divorce (of course), wife distraught, and lacking genuine erotic content. So, average.

Spellcheck should tell you that "your" is not the same as "you're". I do enjoy your stories and I read them all. A little more attention to detail would make your stories even better. Correct words and spelling beat the hell out of telling readers to ignore the errors. I know as I make a shitload of mistakes and am not pleased about that fact.

He strikes me as a bit of a child. She is better off without him. In the US there would be no company payout. I suspect an NDA and gag order would have protected the company. So he would just be sol.

Decent story but Mark lost being a man in my eyes when he fucked the escort and kept the money. He's not a whole lot better than Lucy in my opinion.

A common plot. And an unrealistic one, at least insofar as the isolation aspect. If not for that he would just leave. His reaction was good. Once a woman does this sort of thing, never touch her again, and get as far away as possible. D

Why bother writing this. It’s a hackneyed trope and you added nothing to the genre.

Although this story has been told before I loved your reaction. Although upset you maintained rational behavior.

A good read I gave you a 5.

I can't give it 5* despite being well written. As you forewarned, this plot has been done repeatedly on the site in the last couple years. As a side note, despite the BTB crowd's sentiment, I'm an advocate for keeping the family whole and making divorce the absolute last choice. However, when one spouse shows complete disrespect for the other, like in this story, divorce is really the only option. 4*

3 Stars instead of five because you did not destroy her AFTER the divorce by publishing an article describing the events of accepting an all expenses paid trek to an exotic island in a local rag. Kids are knowing and resilient and there was no excuse after all the rhetoric for not annihilating the slut. She made no REAL apologies so your main character had no excuse not to rain hell down on her like her threat to him in the lover's study.

Other than a few typos, I enjoyed the story. Only 1 thing I see missing, retribution to William.

I thought this was great. The MC was terrific with his revenge of words.

The lead surely had the right words to say. Not often heard in this environment. Well written and enjoyed. Keeping the $$ was a kick in the ass to the asshole but morally, this is not a perfect world

The basic plot is familiar, but virtually every plot in LW is. The difference is in the execution, and this was well executed indeed. Although it's a small thing, "Shane" was very nicely developed for a minor character. Normally in these types of stories, the "security guy(s)" are just written as thugs or ciphers. The A through E excuse progression presented at breakfast was outstanding.

The moment when William presented the "proposal" rang a bit false when the MC failed to respond by saying the marriage is now over, as any spouse would in the situation. Apart from this very minor issue, the husband's response was 1. believable, 2. ethical (once "Lucy" broke the marital contract, the husband was no longer bound by it. It was refreshing not to have the usual virtue signaling that occurs in these stories when the husband refuses sex after the wife's adultery until filing or the decree is final), and 3. untainted by the husband vomiting or drinking himself into an alcoholic stupor.

The inclusion of this was an unforced error: "We divorced thankfully without any need for counselling, I guess Lucy didn't want to explain her actions. It's a shame in one way... I was hoping someone qualified could highlight how delusional she was." The idea that "counselors" or "therapists" (psychiatrists just dispense drugs now because beginning in the 60s the medical profession recognized that Freud was a fraud) are specially "qualified" to "help" people is a modern superstition perpetuated in part by our Western culture of narcissism in which people revel, at some level, at being the center of attention while "deep things" about our "complex selves", undiscoverable by ordinary mortals, are revealed by the oracles known as "counselors/therapists". In fact, these people are actually generally less qualified to discuss marital and other problems usefully because they are trained in academic theories that are tainted with the ideological enthusiasms of the academy. When you have a subject that is perfectly well understandable by anyone of ordinary experience and common sense and try to turn it into an academic subject, the result is a programs of bogus "studies" larded with bogus theories.

While there are other nits that I'm sure others will pick, this one clearly deserves a 5 and is underscored.

Interesting that Lucy had known about the trip but hadn't said anything to him before.

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"The conversation broke up when I arrived" - That's always suspicious.

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"I've told you about it so it is neither collusion nor a secret and I'm being totally truthful." - It is collusion, because, as he says, they had likely already planned this.

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"we miscalculated your reaction to events" - As he said, his reaction was QUITE clear when their plans were revealed, they could have easily backed off.

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Fuck, I would have kept the check!

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"it was exciting I felt giddy with it" - That's where a faithful wife backs off, she doesn't pursue it.

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"I wondered if Mark might go for that." - Maybe she should have asked him first, instead of blindsiding him.

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"I never meant to hurt you." - Again, such bullshit. If she didn't mean to hurt him, she would have dropped the whole idea as soon as he showed how it hurt him, even BEFORE she spent the night with William.

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"a rye chuckle" - LOL! "a WRY chuckle!"

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"we kept the £250,000" - ??? William was going to transfer 100,000 (I don't know if that ever happened), then Mark tore up the 250,000 check.

I am disappointed that that the Employers and William didn't get more of a proper punishment. At the very least, William's reputation as a sexual predator should have become public knowledge. As for his employers, I think they should have also had their reputations ruined. Whoring out their employees to their clients should have also become public knowledge and with each of them being named in a law suite of some kind, if only expose their salacious behavior.

Thank god a man with morals

It was really good, and he did a great job of countering all her feeble justifications, then ruining the rest of her erotic weekend. I especially liked him screwing the high-end escort once he realised he was a single guy. The betrayed husband usually takes "the moral high ground", but acting like a martyr wouldn't impress the self-centred slut wife in this scenario. Fucking Charlotte the next evening, as payback on Lucy and making her feel the same heartbreak was a nice touch.

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Unfortunately, the ending felt a bit abrupt. First of all, I can't believe Lucy just gave up on the marriage like that. Most cheaters are so self-absorbed that she'd go to her grave insisting it was "just a one-time mistake!". Her plan absolutely did not include a divorce, so she'd fight him every step of the way to "save the marriage".

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Also it left me with a bunch of unanswered questions:

Did William stop being an asshole after destroying their marriage? Did the husband ever see Charlotte again? Did he meet someone else post-divorce? What happened to Lucy after the divorce?

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The husband did well monetarily post-divorce, but there was nothing positive in terms of a loving relationship with another woman. It's a shame, because that's the real point to the "indecent proposal" scenario: Can greed overcome love?

really liked your story. 5⭐

Why ?

1- because for once, man puts his moral well-being (being able to look at yourself in a mirror and like who you see.) before his precious heritage, his assets, his dollars.

2- I also think that a well-managed divorce is preferable to a dysfunctional marriage where anger, bitterness, resentment will certainly be felt by the children.

3- no need to burn the ex-wife. even if the urge may be strong, if you love your children, burning their mother will undeniably have an impact on them.

If you really love your children, saving them from unnecessary suffering should be your priority, well above any revenge.

Because whatever your feelings, the ex-wife is and will remain their mother.

Pretty good. Would have looked at lawsuits for all involved. Some errors, but not bad. Picked a theme that has been explored to death.

No mention of either finding new loves. Good story otherwise but so many stories are similar reads.

Well done. A popular theme but you handled it well and didn't wimp out or make outrageous claims. You know, suddenly he was ex SAS and took out the bodyguard etc. Or accepted the money and carried on like a bitch boy or got off on his wife fucking someone else. Perhaps the only additional thing might have been him taking it to the sleazy mags and having the whole story front page news. Effectively ruining the company and socially destroying Williams Charaty's and social standing. Particularly about how many times the arsehole had done this! Thanks again for a good read. Cheers.

Not much punishment on the boss and the asshole. I would like to know what happened to him after that.

Well written tale. LOVED the way the MC ripped apart all her bullshit excuses in front of everyone present.

A good story. A bit like The Bridge but with money added. LP

It ended, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Finally, someone brings up the other side of the "I deserve this after X years of being a good wife and mother" bullshit.

Damn good story. Self-respect is critical in living a good and happy life. Very few stories reflect how much more important it is; more than money, waaaay more than sex. You should have had the MC refuse sex completely with escort; the rich guy would see that sex act as the MC knuckling-under and doing what he had planned from the beginning. I wouldn't have allowed him that satisfaction.

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In that type of situation, I think divorce would be inevitable for 95% of men: the other 5% submit to it and lose everything in the following divorce because the wife no longer respects them. They sit in their single-wide, writing cuckold stories and submitting them here, pounding their pud while deluding themselves by pretending to be the "bull".

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Great story. Well done. 5 stars and thanks for submitting.

A decent version of this well worn trope….most (in)famously expressed by GAs Feb Sux and the never ending sequels and variants.

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In this one, the woman comes as close as any to when admitting that she felt she deserved this “one off” AND delusionally figured hubby’s love for her would be able to absorb it. Must be the Slut Ray fumes…

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Mark’s reaction was both correct and necessary….and the author had him say something that is very very important WRT these infidelity situations: “I think kids are better off in split families rather than dysfunctional ones”. AMEN!

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4****

And what happened to William? The story is incomplete. Publicity would be the ideal retaliation. Public opinion is powerful. William would dare not sue for slander as there are too many who could be subject to subpoena. A baseball bat to the knees not a bad idea either.

Good story. Good point of view. Thanks

It's quite good with a reasonable amount of sense from the husband (and the wife).

I think I've read it before though. Maybe it's an edit of an older story...

Disappointing. With the exception of the one family injured, NOTHING happened to the conspirators. Business as usual.

Excellent, thank you for this

Decent story, thanks for posting.

Great...loved it seemed real unlike the movie. Tops. SK742

Outstanding! Well written and an enjoyable read. Thanks.

I read it and knew it would follow the same pattern. I am still amazed that no writer has hit on what I think really is the only answer to "The Proposition". When William first made his pitch and Lucy didn't recoil from it, ... Lucy and Marks marriage was over. It was over as soon as she allowed, William the snake, to plant the idea in her head and got her to thinking it would turn out alright. Lucy and Mark were no longer a loving couple after that thought took hold in Lucys mind. Marks little speech at the breakfast table should have been given that evening when William first proposed he spend the weekend with Lucy. Mark should have called Jack and Margaret Edwards with all the other guest, into the room with Lucy and William and told them all what he thought of the whole lot of them. At that point he should have told them all, that their friendship was history and that they all had a hand in its destruction, and the destruction of his marriage. They all knew and had a hand in the ambush at the island. Once Lucy started planning to do the nasty deed with William, she was already a cheater, and whether he fucked her that night, the next day or never, it was already over, ... a fait accompli. I don't feel there can ever be trust after a betrayal like that. Without trust, there is nothing.

Other than that, I still enjoyed the story and gave it 4 stars. Maybe someday I'll try my own hand, writing it the way I want and feel it should go. Then maybe not, it's safe on the sidelines. After all, it's, JustOneMansOpinion.

At least he dumped her

Well used plot, and Ill read every one. Love the concept and what authors come up with to deal with it. Would have liked to see something happen to William and the co-conspirators, they deserved some consequences. This is most reminiscent of “The Bridge”. Another good story.

Am I the only one that has a problem with him taking half of the whore money??

Loved everything except that Billy Boy didn't get taken down at all. Still a 5 star story though!

Very hard to believe a wife could change so easily and to such a terrible degree. She went from happily married to a cheating, completely selfish slut in less than a month. Just not believable. On top of that, no consequences for her? She gets house and kids? Sorry, that doesn't work. He ends up taking the $ after refusing it? Another inconsistency that simply doesn't fit. Spend a little time before you write thinking about how to make even a made up story somewhat believable. Give it some plot that has some small feel of reality.

Excellent story. Well written. Superb plot. Incredible dialogue both internal and external. Mark's morning comments covering all the ground between A to F are some of the best writing I've seen on this site. The arguments leading up to the conclusion and divorce are really good. The conversation with Charlotte adds greatly to the story. Mark and Shane's conversation and run, walk, hike made sense in light of the plot, and confirmed his decision. The sex between Lucy and William was passionate and a fitting end to a marriage. This story could have gone in a host of directions, bu I truly enjoyed the resolution of Mark. It certainly a possibility that you could write a different version and see whee that takes Mark andLucy as well as William and Charlotte

I was riveted! Great story!

It begs for a follow up. You need to address the lack of consequences for the cheaters and for those who facilitated the "event". You left a lot that remains unfinished. That being said, I enjoyed the story very much.

A hackneyed story, not as good as others in this genre. Lucy wasn’t punished at all. She did well out of all of it. Got the kids, got the house, kept everything. Just lost the idiot husband who given he kept half of the whores blood money looked as bad as the bitch.

Very ordinary indeed.

Scores 3/5, a poor plot kit ok as written

Oh, and their firm and William got off as well. What a joke, in hindsight rescored the story to 2/5

No burn and he walks...Hell no!

This one made me smile!

Yes, you spell-check. Yes, you proofread. Next time, in the process, do a search for he word “your”. In each occurrence, see if you really meant “your” (belonging to you) or if you really meant to say “you’re” (you are). This occurred multiple times in this story, really cheapens a decent story.

I’ll give it 5 stars but I don’t understand why the men in these stories are always so weak. Cutting their nose off to spite their face. Being so selfish, only thinking of themselves and not their family.

It takes a man, a strong man, to be forgiving. People make mistakes. His wife made a mistake. She deserves the chance to make it up and be forgiven. Never giving her that chance shows how weak and selfish he is. The opportunity doesn’t mean that they will make it but to not try is pathetic.

The ones that should pay are Jack and his company and William. And none of them really paid.

Needed another chapter about the various revenge options and public shaming of both the firm and William. The company had much pain coming also hence a law suit would fill at least another chapter. Perhaps the author - who did a great job to this point - would offer same or allow others to have a crack?

Man u won. U stood ur ground and held true on ur wedding vows. Sometimes love just isnt enough for some women. Been there done that. Wish u had sued the company for alieanation of affectton.

4 stars

5 if more punishment

Divorce was the obvious solution. He didn't lose much.

Nicely written rewrite of a story posted several times in the past.

Good to learn that the ‘babysitter’ was decent to the point he regretted his involvement.

FUCK WILLIAM; he will forever remain a self-absorbed asswipe.

But as for Jack, he will pay dearly in the lawsuit that has yet to hit him, as well as the pending doom to his company. Much like William, his moral compass will drive whatever success he may have enjoyed, into a ground pounding tailspin. Jack’s wife is certain to become an abandoned twit with a questionable past aka Charlotte.

And Charlotte? No quantity of her appeasement to Jim will have atoned for her continued whoredom.

Finally, let the slut Lucy twist in the wind, a very foul wind once Jim’s disclosure of her sluttish behavior reaches all those she knows. Without recognizing it yet, her career of schmoozing, and her position will not survive. She will be begging for food stamps in the very near future.

Nothing but sadness for the children; the situation into which they have been placed is not fully evident to them. Years of therapy await.

This was my first taste of satindesires. I may tune in to a forthcoming offering.

In the end he was no better than his whore ex wife

It was ok. Gave it a 4 even though it lacked a little something.

Nothing in this story that hasn't been done several thousand times on this website, and done better. The writer needs to brush up on the use of commas to make his text more readable.

William did not pay for his moral and ethical crimes. His purchase of Lucy should have been named in the divorce documents as a major factor for the dissolution of the marriage. That would've soured him to some potential business partners (maybe the ones with ethics) and hurt him financially. The money he may have actually paid to Lucy doesn't count as far as payment towards Mark, he deserves a pound of flesh from William.

Some one put down "A baseball bat to the knees not a bad idea either." No a bat to the balls and swinging for the fences 27 times would have be in better order. Might as well play a full game with them..

...oh, and I'm glad Shane was not a total jerk of a bodyguard. He saw the crap his employer pulled and was as helpful in the situation as he could be. He was between a rock and a hard spot having responsibilities to his employer and hating to see Mark treated so poorly. Maybe a part two sees Shane help Mark get that pound of Williams flesh!

Well this is sadly a copy of another story almost identical, and while it was loaded with the usual worn out cliches, I found it not as bad as I probably should.

I did expect better from you though.As for the brilliant anon below "Just another stupid unrealistic story where the intruder gets off without punishment. No so in real life" That sentence is so fucking completely backwards I wonder how many Trump 2020 flags you still have hanging on your trailer. What is this guy going to do against a millionaire/billionaire with his own security? I swear the quality of readers is going straight down the shitter.

where do these whores and their lovers think they have the right for sex as long as they pay the husband a large amount

As Mark pointed out, William's company has been shrinking ever since he inherited it. As his wealth declines, so will his influence, his "friends" will turn out to be people just like him who will desert him when he can no longer supply them with luxury vacations and eventually he will be remembered mostly for some embarrassing business section news articles, followed by some even more embarrassing tabloid articles and possibly a Wikipedia page about a womanizing heir who incompetently ran his family's business into the ground and ended up dying friendless and alone.

Is that it?

At least 3 stories including this one with the same theme but only one felt complete, The Bridge. But the author of that one couldn't understand why readers liked that story.

Hooked1957's A Promise Made, A Vow Broken have the same issue with this where the bosses and the 'john' didn't face any deserving consequence.

The part with the argument is good. Authors rarely provide any counters when the offender brought up the "deserve this after many years" point.

The movie is shit though. Don't bother watching the movie if you consider this a good ending.

Good story with a natural progression to the end based on how the plot lines and scenes transpired. I’m sure some would want the Rich asshole to get some comeuppance, but based on what the MC said that will be a natural conclusion based on his selfishness and poor business acumen. Some would want more payback for the conniving ex wife. Yet the greatest revenge is knowing that solely because of her there time together as a couple has now ended. There will be no more special moments. No more growing old together; only those moments and memories that involves there children, but nothing together.

Wow, that was a heavy story and brilliantly put together. I remember the Redford film and always thought the dialog never could reflect the emotional state of the situation. It is just the state of a film that limits it, taking nothing away from the film of course. You, on the other hand, have brought it out as well as you always do. I also didn't mind not hearing about the future lives of the other characters involved. Their absence brought into focus the breakdown of a family and the loss of love. Besides, in real life, do we ever hear about the others? And with all the pain, do we even care? 5 stars

Good and realistic story. Not much Mark could do about William, he’s rich enough to do what he wants, hopefully he will come upon someone who would break his neck before the hired help could protect him.

Good story but the bad guys suffered zero consequences. Lost some major points for that.

The hubs did great in an impossible situation. A very realistic reasonable outcome for such an implausible premise. I would have liked to have read interactions after the fact about William and the other couple

How else could any man qith self respect end things?

Very, very decent reset on this theme. MC's reasoning was a bit absolute, but that's the way some people are. When his wife accused Mark of "just leaving" on the Night of Infamy, he forgot yo mention the impediment called Shane. Also, the writer needs to work on use of dialogue quotes. Whole blocks of dialogue with nary a " anywhere. 5/5!!

Well he might as well have done the sirty with Charlotte, he was never taking wifey back

This is my favourite Indecent Proposal so far.

A proper response to a cheating wife and an immature entitled asshole.

No stupid RAAC here, as with other authors.

Pity Shane didn't let him hit William at least once.

Wives are often referred to as a husbands better half. Maybe instead of offering 0.01% of their net worth, these guys have to choose 1/2 of themselves to loose. Pick any 3 from the list, money, looks, intelligence , manhood, family, friends. Now the offer becomes “real” and has equivalent value.