All Comments on 'Indiscretion'

by Just_Words

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  • 71 Comments
JusteenKJusteenKabout 1 year ago

I don't know what it says about me but I really enjoyed this.

jazzharpjazzharpabout 1 year ago

I'm sorry, you wrote a very sick story. Do you really think this is putting smarmy lotharios in their place?

You've been a favorite of mine. But you must have misfired on this one. This shows that Carol is playing Frank too. She did Jimmy. Does she always fuck all the other disrespectful suitors?

TajfaTajfaabout 1 year ago

So murder is a fair solution for being smarmy? I normally like your stories but Sorry, not this one.

shopratshopratabout 1 year ago

I think this would have been a better story if the couple just did some kind of financial sting on the guy, or inflicted some other painful lesson on him, rather than killing him. Killing him took it over the top into a kind of a sick story.

KarnevilKarnevilabout 1 year ago

Well written and a slightly novel approach. Unfortunately it doesn't disguise the fact its about two mentally deficient and very disturbed people. Also the author's final comment sticks in my mind: 'I just like the idea of a player getting his just reward' so murder is perfectly OK, but having sex with a married woman, even though everybody is in agreement, is not? I guess that sums up the mentality of a certain type of person.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percyabout 1 year ago

A rather blood-thirsty couple! I don't know which one is the more evil of the two. Hopefully, they will get caught eventually.

5

johntcookseyjohntcookseyabout 1 year ago

That was fun and unexpected in a deliciously inappropriate way. Evocative of a Westlake/Stark novel perhaps. Well done. Thanks

JimmyThePlungerJimmyThePlungerabout 1 year ago

Well written as usual but when it comes to handing out death, I like the eptiaph on gunfighter Clay Allision's grave stone, "he never killed a man who didn't need killing". This pair were hobby killers and certainly their mark in this story "Didn't need killing". Crimes of passion are one thing, this is simply murder.

So not for me but as I said, well-written.

FireFox59FireFox59about 1 year ago

The guy was rude to her husband and swarmy yet she had sex with him before they killed him. I could make the case that she was as bad as Jimmy. A very different loving wife tale but I really don't enjoy it.

Kilty11Kilty11about 1 year ago

Umm…… it’s just a story, and not the first about a killer couple. The name of the other story escapes me, but had the same flavor to it. If I wanted reality I’d watch a John Wick movie.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcabout 1 year ago

Interesting twist on this one. I "suspected" it for a moment when he was waiting to give them time, but wasn't 100% sure. Good for a short story! 4*

Buster2UBuster2Uabout 1 year ago

Ha Ha Ha What a fun story, A Killier couple that only takes out rude asshats. LOL I like that. Every morning I wish the same fate on at least a couple of rude drivers that are so intent on getting ahead of everyone else every inch possible. 5 big blazing stars, Great writing, Great Story, Great Idea, Great Effort. thks Buster2U

mikeyjb51mikeyjb51about 1 year ago

I don't like sharing stories, but well written even though

kirei8kirei8about 1 year ago

How many more lotharios get killed before he decides to slowly torture the sick cheating slut and snaps her neck? Sequel?

EastCoaster1EastCoaster1about 1 year ago

So nastily evil...

...loved it !

Dylan1Dylan1about 1 year ago

I hated where this was going......then...I very much liked where it ended. Nice.

lc69hunterlc69hunterabout 1 year ago

Love it. They only kill the assholes.

northstanderrhinonorthstanderrhinoabout 1 year ago

Well that was different!

SomeOneTwoThreeSomeOneTwoThreeabout 1 year ago

Dislike.

That's the word that best describes

my feeling on this story.

Maybe I'll read "Mein Kampf" next.

2 out of 5 from me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

The writing was fine. But I have to say that this was the first story you've posted that I sincerely disliked. So much so that I'm going to give it a one star rating.

GumpershnickalGumpershnickalabout 1 year ago

I can honestly say I did not see that coming

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Sad to see how low a good ( No a great) writer can stoop to just to churn out shit!

26thNC26thNCabout 1 year ago

A darker side of Just_Words than what we’re used to, but still a great story. They’re the real predators, taking out the men who think any woman is their rightful prey.

WhackdoodleWhackdoodleabout 1 year ago

How murder acceptable but consensual sex deserves a death sentence?

It would have been. Enter if it involved robbing the mark blind as opposed to killing him. And it doesn’t matter how many different id they have, that many murders and the cops will piece it togther

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Clever story. To the naysayers, the author warned that this was "not a love story for the ages." They seem a normal couple, loving, successful as they are staying in "one of the better hotels," attractive and on their annual cross-country vacation. The twist at the end is worthy of a short story by Edgar Alan Poe or an Alfred Hitchcock movie; no remorse, no regrets, just the enjoyment of a successful kill and great sex following it. They are a pair of psychos who each have found their soul mate. And wifey is already hoping that they can do it just one more time on this year's vacation. As Vandemonium1 always says, "Lighten up"; it's just a story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Well that was definitely different then your norm.

Excellently handled! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

TwentysevenTwentysevenabout 1 year ago

Who wants to read about psychopaths?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Usually enjoy your works. Not this one, sorry. Two awful people.

CumminginsiderherCumminginsiderherabout 1 year ago
Meh

Interesting concept but some more details would have added much more to the story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

I didn't know the purpose of marriage was to keep it sexually exciting. Been with the same man 48 years and the worst sex we've ever had was great. It's not about how many partners you sleep with, it's about learning to please each other in satisfying ways.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Edgar Allan Poe did murder with style, drama, suspense, intrigue; and always explicit motive. This was just fun killing, like an M13 animal killing some kid for disrespecting him. I acknowledge your right to write whatever you want, the readers' right to enjoy whatever they want. But this seemed just wrong. Not fun, not clever, not dramatic.

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It would make more sense if they were an assassination team, and the mark had raped and murdered one or more women, maybe homeless women, or pregnant women living in a shelter. Someone so vile you just hope the death was slow and painful.

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Joy killing? I can't find the joy. What kind of person does? Maybe a statement of our current culture.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xabout 1 year ago

"Yes, mam, we do." - The word is "ma'am," short for madam.

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"Well, you will need to ask my husband if he gives me permission." - Yes, I was always taught that you ask a lady's escort for permission to ask her to dance.

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I don't really see the connection to "February Sucks." Yes, they both have a wife who tells her husband that she's going off with another man, but there have been dozens, if not hundreds of those both before and after GA's story. The key element in "February Sucks" that is missing here, is that the other guy was SO special thatbthe wife was able to justify the liaison in her own mind.

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While I never condone murder, I can accept it here in the same way that I did with "Dexter." What I find harder to accept is that she still fucked the guy.

mattenwmattenwabout 1 year ago

Sorry, but if you need dead bodies to have "sex", then you better go straight to the madhouse. Aren't there enough killer idiots already?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

I read it twice and I am still not certain that she had sex with the guy. When she said he didn't last long was that meaning they had sex and he came quickly or did it mean he was quick to die? I am guessing it was the sex part as I think the husband had to do the killing so it came after Jimmy came in his wife.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Eh, I appreciate the effort at originality, but you’re missing the “erotic” part of the site name. Plus, not to be pedantic, but there’s no way they wouldn’t be caught unless this takes place in a time when there aren’t cameras literally everywhere.

TnicollTnicollabout 1 year ago

I got worried for a minute that someone had hijacked JW’s account! Alls well that ends well

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 1 year agoAuthor

@ sbrooks - Thank you for catching the "ma'am". I should have known that, but it's so seldom that modern society allows the use of that word without a "Who are you calling ma'am!" kind of response. You caught me.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 1 year agoAuthor

Folks, I understand that many people are offended by thrill killers. I would be, too, in reality. I may have not explained myself well at the end of the story, but this is not really about revenge against a man who took another man's wife. This is about two psychopathic killers and a woman who uses herself as bait to attract their prey. It isn't meant to be a feel good story. I will admit that I took a certain fascination with the image of a couple that spring their trap on a would-be player, but that's really just a means to an end. Try to think of this story in reverse where two killers play out their day-to-day lives appearing to be very a normal everyday couple. Anyway, I am sorry that many did not enjoy this piece of fiction, but that is all it was.

terraknorterraknorabout 1 year ago

Made me think of Dexter Morgan's "Dark Passenger"

Prince020402Prince020402about 1 year ago

5☆. Laughed ot loud out of surprise when I realized what they were up to. Good departure from the norm.

Frank66Frank66about 1 year ago

Way too extreme an ending, from a favorite author of mine who normally writes such interesting bits of normal Americana. There are many people who would leave this world a better place if they left prematurely. This 'smarmy player' hadn't reached that status yet, and perhaps could have grown up in time.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Alas, a murdering cuckold is still a cuck. His slut simply happens to be some odd variant of a black widow. Her destain for men encompasses both her cuck and her bulls. His degree of codependency is nauseating to contemplate.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Refreshingly different.

A_BierceA_Bierceabout 1 year ago

For the naysayers: Would it have made a difference if they'd turned out to be vampires instead of psychopathic thrill killers? For the author: If smarmy rudeness is a capital offense, what about infidelity? Topnotch piece of misdirection, sir.

LickideesplitLickideesplitabout 1 year ago

Adventurous Vampira? Wrong category. Sci-Fi; Non-Human, or Horror. That is the overpowering theme of this offering, and pretty good if in the right category! I did like that they used the Blood Donor’s room to throw off the homicide investigation.

Grinchs? Upscale hotel will have video-taping for all public areas and law-enforcement will have face recognition capacity! Oh, yeah … the number of years they have been dancing should be in the 200-3000 year range, but that might give away the denouement.

not rated!

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 1 year agoAuthor

Wow! I never considered the vampire angle. I was just thinking that the husband knocked the guy out, dragged him into the shower, and slit the player's throat. Comments about cameras in hallways and such are entirely correct. I decided to ignore this in the hope of delivering a good punch line, but it does show how hard it is to get away with murder (and we should all be grateful for that).

MVarroMVarroabout 1 year ago

Killers, really! If you feel the urge to write a cuck story, fine. That is your problem. But writing about psychopaths that have fun killing humans should be way below your standard. I am disappointed and sad to see one of the few good LW authors sink this low.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Way to dark! You know better.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Funny thing, while reading it I started thinking, "A cool ending to this type of story would be that they robed or killed the dude." Probably because I've been binging through Animal Kingdome. I was surprised when that actually happened!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Never disrespect the husband!

SexecutionerSexecutionerabout 1 year ago

Innovative, I'll give ya that. Nice twist at the end as well. Some are complaining about the violence, that's kind of the crux of it though.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

It is obvious that Carol, with all her appearance, behavior and conversations, made it clear to potential lovers that her husband was not against such her actions or even enjoyed encouraging it. Well, a fan can't, after a half-hour acquaintance with a married couple, consider himself so irresistible that he can just walk up to an unfamiliar man and announce that he categorically takes someone else's wife to his room to fuck. It means that there were clearly unequivocal complaints, ridicule, bullying and derogatory words against her husband, and therefore manipulations to instill such permissiveness and impunity in her lover. Remember? Even the adorable and brilliant Marc La Valliere and Linda quietly and secretly escaped through the back door. And what would happen if a seemingly impudent and arrogant lover, suddenly at the last moment before leaving with someone else's wife to his room, would ask the husband if he really didn't mind or even offer the husband to join them? Then what? Would a not-so-bad guy just have a knife stuck in his side? Gouged out his eyes? Would they cut out the tongue?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Bizarrely, I'd have enjoyed the story a bit more if it had been made more explicit that Carol didn't/doesn't actually copulate with her/their victims. How fucked up is that? I guess it's like you said, I like the idea of players being punished, but the notion of the guy punishing them being perpetually cuckolded (as opposed to them *believing* they're going to cuckold him, and learning/grasping their grave error too late to save themselves) bothered me. Still really well composed!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

excellent!...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

February Sucks is easily one of the worst stories ever posted. And just knowing it inspired you explains why this is damn awful.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Great story. I loved the twisted ending. I'm glad that this site allows within reason violence and blood. I hate this new wave of political correctness permeating every face of the society by policing the social media and policing of everything. Fuck political correctness and policing of every aspect of our life by society drones. If you dislike a site or its content, do us a favor and don't go there or better kill yourself.

inka2222inka2222about 1 year ago

1. February sucked was an awful story as far as plot/ending, the only reason it's famous is because good writers wrote much more decent endings for it. Being inspired by *that* travesty, is... not inspiring, sorry.

2. This story COULD have been great, if either the wife would just lure the dudes and not cheat on her husband, OR, he would be FULLY into it (not my cuppa tea, but I don't kink-shame). As it was, the writer clearly showed that he wasn't happy about her having extramarital sex, but was manipulated/coerced into it by her.

And yes, I consider that a worse affront to ethics/morality than the fact that they are both psychopathic killers; as they clearly only kill people who, as they say in Texas, "needed killin' " . As such, I'm giving it 2 stars, because the outcome for Jimmy and his likes is at least worth 1 extra star. But it doesn't make up for the fact that she's forcing him into cuckoldry against his preference/wishes.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Hotels are covered with security cameras. Also, DNA. Nobody who isn't not wearing a Tyvek suit, gloves, head, and foot coverings can leave a scene that is well-used without leaving huge clues.

oldtwitoldtwitabout 1 year ago

Oh what a story, not what I expected at all, but I can’t see where George Anderson's story February Sucks fits in with this, but nice read.

fritz51fritz51about 1 year ago

I enjoyed it greatly. As the read progressed, I became concerned at the husband's lack of response to a disrespectful man. Before the end revealed the twist, I had envisioned that she was a vampire... close enough, the bloody corpse need not care if he was dead because of her, or him, or both. *****

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Different

maninconnmaninconn12 months ago

The spider to the fly. I love it! Thanks for writing.

SeaChangerSeaChanger11 months ago

It seems she must be seducing the innocent admirer since it only takes thirty minutes.

So the admirer is encouraged to distain the husband.

Regardless, they are both serial murderers.

Certainly a little different than a "loving wife".

Chimo1961Chimo19618 months ago

So dark, worth a 5 just formthe bold concept

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

That was a bit different and also entertaining. Not a very moral story but then again a lot of here aren't. BardnotBard

UpperNorthLeftUpperNorthLeft4 months ago

I enjoyed this story. After reading it, I’m left with the image of a small-time ferret-like creature crouching at the edge of the river, about to feast on a fish it has caught. Behind it, in the darkness, a huge jaw full of teeth looms…

5*

26thNC26thNC4 months ago

The hyena shouldn’t trifle with the lion. Great story.

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userJust_Words@Just_Words
I suppose I write for many of the same reasons that others do. First, I am exorcising my demons. I use writing to explore my thoughts and emotions, sometimes embracing, and perhaps ridding myself of, my darker thoughts and sometimes finding happier themes to celebrate. It s...