All Comments on 'Infatuation Ch. 01'

just too good. just too good.

Most excellet Sir Vertigo. :-)

I normally dont read incest stories but your start was incredibly sexy.

I hope that your future parts dont lose that playful feel.

Jackie

Too much detail! It bogs down the story and scatters the plot. It was like trying to watch a movie while spinning around.

I, for one, liked it very much. Had a believability about it.

Absolutely top quality piece of writing there. The kind I like to read with a story rather than just sex. Great work, keep it up. Can't wait till another part

Excellent story, outstanding vocabulary, interesting plot, great details! Just perfect!!!

This story should have been put in the humor section. This was one of the funniest pieces I've read on this site (in the good way). I also like the fact that you didn't just have Jemma give in and give James a "mercy fuck," which is exactly what it would have been had they consumated in this story. Can't wait to read future chapters. Bravo!!!

just great loved this story, funny and sexy very good job vertigo

You'll probably get "hate mail" from the "slam, bam, thank you, ma'am" crowd, but this was a great start. Do you're homework, but give us more of this and PoF.

Overall this was a great, more or less realistic piece. It was tantalizing without being explicit. It's more fun when real people get involved than just simplified flesh puppets. I have three very small points to make in the negative though. First of all it was a bit long, more so if this is going to be part of a series. Second, doesn't Daylight Savings time start on Sunday? You had it on Friday. Finally you said the kitchen was a "central hub" of the house. What other kinds of hubs are there?

Keep up the good work. This story is in the top ten percent.

WELL IT IS HARD TO BE DIFFERENT ON THIS SITE,BUT YOU DID THAT WELL TELLING THIS STORY WITH BOTH STYLE, AND COMEDY. IT IS NOT EASY TO TELL A STORY IN THE STYLE YOU ARE AS THOUGH IT REALLY HAPPENED TO YOU. THOUGH I HAD SOME DISLIKE HE DIDN'T GET WHAT HE WAS AFTER AT ALL, IN ANYWAY, BUT IS WAS BEST FOR THE STORY AS YOU HAVE CREATED A PAGE TURNER. I HOPE YOUR NEXT CHAPTER IS AS GOOD WHILE LEADING US TO THE PROMISED LAND. JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE US WAITING, DON'T MAKE US WAIT TO LONG TO HEAR OF SOME SUCCESS.

Once I realized that you were just trying to drive the reader nutts, I gave up on finding any real sex and started to see that Jemma was really having her fun with her baby brother, and was doing it very well. Most parents, myself included, have all seen this in our own homes, and we will always wonder how far it went.

IF this had been your first and only story, I might have given up on you about halfway through page 2. But you are a very accomplished author and I decided to hang on for the ride. It was fun, but I have to agree that it was more humor than incest, although I hope that changes in another chapter or two.

Possibly the funniest submission I've ever read here; but with that, very erotic and tantalizing, and I want to see it all come together. She sounds great.

Yours is the first story awarded 'editor's pick' in over two months?

Do you, yourself, realize just how good a story this is and just how well written?

The daylight savings thing aside, this is a whole believable story, truely wothy of that 'E'.

My hat's off to you, Vertigo.

Excellent.

Kirk

It was very nice to read a good story that didn't have some guy with a extra large one, doing say 5-10 DD ladies and running for and winning the lastest whatever and driving the newest just of the line whatever.. Thanks! A+

Well Done!

I could have done that story in one line. I saw my sister naked once and she wouldn't let me again.

that was awesome, but i do hope you continue with the brother finally getting some satisfaction. hilarious story tho. good job.

Somehow, the story was nice. Very unusual, although I think, since there wasn't any real erotic scene (or better: action scene), it was too long. Because it was supposed as a beginning, it's okay to have no sex scenes, but it was about one page too long. I was curious, so I read it, but it was longer than most other stories, and that (in my humble opinion) without real sexual, but just a bit humorous tension. A bit longer and it had become boring.

Hermit

3 pages of story leading to no conclusion. That's just wrong. Write the whole story, or don't post it.

Nicely done.

Like so much of life, there aren't simple, quick fixes. But you write so well that I really feel for the brother. Why can't sisters feel that way about their borthers?

The conversational tone of the piece gave it a nice start, but then it seemed to drift a bit. I'm not sure if we're supposed to have sympathy for the main character, but all I really felt was sorry for Jemma. Having to put up with "the little shit" and his stalking made me wish the story ended with her moving far away to a place of her own. For an incest piece, it sure read a lot like a masturbation story.

No clue why I clicked the link to this story, as I normally don't read incest stories, but boy am I glad I did!

Very well written, quite believable (except the daylight savings thing - you should just've had him set his clock wrong or something), and despite (or maybe because of) it's lack of any really erotic scenes it was very tantalizing and erotic.

Very well done, and I hope you continue in the same manner - especially on the believability. Great beginning!

started good ..........ended shitty

so long as you don't stop of course. Its a great build up, and its real. The sister is acting how a sister would, not like in other stories where they all of a sudden have unrealistic attitudes and jump their brothers. Keep it coming, but keep it coming quickly so your readers don't lose interest.

I had much the same thing happen to me in real life. It reminded me of my own frustration, thus the lower rating. I really enjoyed the read. Very well structured and all that. I too saw the awarness of the sister and her playing with him. I am sure that the outcome will be greater than what happened between me and my step-sister. Thanks for the storie.

Ken

to long and just plain boring

Nice story. Once again you can see the difference in the writers and the people who read to get turned on by the scores involved. I grew up with 4 sisters so I had seen a few bits of flesh in my time. Not the same reaction as the main character but understandable. My only fault is, like with others, the daylight time change is on a weekend not a Thursday night. It did glare out a lot and what kept my scoring from being a 100.

You are the best writer here. I loved your story. Smiled all the way through---and yes even laughed out loud a few times. And still wonder--did he ever get another glimpse?

Now THAT was funny. I was laughing so hard my head hurts. thank you for the story.

E

Awww come on now..You can't leave us hanging like this....I love your style of writing..so animated..Please continue this..

You're like a broken record. Lots of words and no results.

Use your talents elsewhere, your writing is boring

My god.....could you have been more boring? That story sucks shit...

haa! you've created one funny little brother!

Well written but more humorous than anything else. Also a little bit long winded.

Alright, I am a big fan of Your PoF stories, but I didn't realize that you were the same author (I never check). Half way through this little piece, I have this Deja vu and look at the author title. Man, it's like I can't get away from your stories. Great to see you writing again; I love your humor pieces. Well, I'll be waiting anxiously for more. Thanks! - MaginMan

H O R R I B L E !!!!!! Could you possibly drag it out anymore? I can summarize it real quick. "you walked in on your sister, she got angry. You liked what you saw and continues to try to walk in on her. You never really succeeded. She hates you. You love her. There is no point in continuing your attempts." The End!

You are taking too long to set the story up. I doubt I'll read anything that follows.

I agree whole-heartedly with the other comment posters. Awesome job! I don't even care that it hasn't ended in a blowjob (or in my orgasm, either). This is a job of very skillful writing. Funny, realistic, hot, great technique. Oh yeah... did I mention that I hope that you DO get to the blowjob part?

Don't let the negative comments get to you. Those people obviously were looking for a wham bam Thank You Jem story and missed the whole point. Really, really funny and well written! Keep them coming.

throw you. Well written....funny, and yes, a nice build-up tease. The idiots that are criticizing you are the ones that like the atypical, " she asked me to put oil on her back and my hand found her anus" type boring over-done stories.

Keep this going!!

Really clever. Very unusual and well done. I've never seen so many comments to a story, both positive and negative. Don't let the naysayers let you down, as some people just aren't going to get it.

Now, let's see a sequel and some more Party of Five!

First, let me say that I greatly enjoy your writing. Regarding this particular story, I tend to agree with some of your reviewers that this was a bit long. Even you felt the need to wake your readers up by screaming "BLOWJOB!!! So, while I'm aware that this is an introduction to the story to come. But, I think you could have been more succinct in the telling. I hope that the next installment is a bit more lively. :)

You really nailed a teenaged idiot. But that would make just about anybody male a full blooded idiot.

Well done charactersd and plot. The language, what there was of it was good also.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks

Mush

The writing was outstanding. That said, this is a bit of an odd story. It's not terribly "erotic" in my mind. Terribly clever though. Perhaps better suited for Humor and Satire?

Although I enjoyed the story immensely, I wasn't going to post a comment. However, after reading the comments of others, I feel there is a need. I'm sick and tired of seeing people complain that you don't move your stories along fast enough, especially in regard to the more erotic parts. As far as I'm concerned, if they have a problem perhaps they should read something else. Or as a stereotypical mother would say, "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all", though that doesn't rule out justified critique. Anyway, following my own advice, I'd best get to the point.

As previously stated, I enjoyed this story immensely. It was avant-garde as well as so typical of your writing style. You developed the characters to a point without giving too much away and without breaking out of character for one moment of erotic pleasure. In fact, I like the suspence that such an approach brings; it makes me want to read more! Therefore, I shall patiently await your next submission. Oh, and by the way, nice ending.

I laughed my ASS off. Great story.

Funny and truly enjoyable. To your readers that expect, "My sis was naked, took one look at my --" cock and wanted me", grow up. If you can't grow up, the Vaseline probably belongs on your nightstand and not in the bathroom

Some people want to read a cartoon comic book whilst others prefer War and Peace. I hardly think reading three pages to set up an excellent storyline can be described as a waste of time. I hope you describe the blowjob sequence in as much glorious detail. There is nothing finer than a well written story. Hope the wait for the second chapter isn't too long. Many thanks.

I thought it was true to life, humorous and nostalgic. Reminded me of the relationship and dynamics in my household and that time of confusion about 'personal space' and curiosity and how to find the balance. Keep up the work and ignore those who obviously didn't get the point of this tale. Just email them some porn shots so they can get their instant gratification.

Witty, comical, humerous, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping, wonderful stuff. I hadn't planned on reading the full thing, just a small tidbit to tide me off till tomorrow, as the clock's arm dwindles farther into the lower numbers, yet your devious humour pulled me in. Your writing is ingenious, and I'm glad you haven't fallen off a cliff and gone the way of the dodo. I check your bloody site all the time, and had you gone the way of the dodo, I'd have damn well found you and forced you to write. ;)

Keep up the writing, return to Party of Five on your own time, but PLEASE keep writing. There are few authors that are decent, few that see past the fools who look for the "oooh, a cock...well whatever, looks like I want it" style of idiocy, and transcend to the higher levels of entertainment. You are one of those rare few, and I swear if you stop writing, before I go insane, I'll find you and bring you to the asylum with me.

LOL very funny story, but could use a bit more action if you know what i mean. WRITE A SEQUEL TO THIS STORY. Thanks!

Before I read this story, I never would have believed it was possible to take 3 pages and countless words to say; I walked in on my naked sister, lusted after her body but nothing happened.

I thought it was a very good beginning. It seems to me there's hundreds of stories where two sentences in, the clothes are off and away they go. It always seems better to me when there's actual development. And not just towards the sex, but with an actual relationship.

So good job and I hope there's more.

The story was one of the best ever incest stories I've read in my entire life. It simple and smooth with a very subtle message about a brother 'accidently' catching his sister nude. The incident is very common in almost every household, but the way the author has narrated makes us want it more.

Cheers anyways and keep up the good work.

It was alright I guess. The character doesn't fit any 18 year olds I know however. That is throwing me off a little. The main character seems to me about 13 years old, give or take a couple at most.

Hey there,

This has been a lonely site in your absence. I've missed the updates of Josh & Dawn & Jackie & Alice etc. In the meantime, another author on here sites you as a major influence & wrote a story that the premise is blatantly derivative of "Party of Five" called "Jake's Sisters," Which is very similar only it got right down with the action & didn't do any character build-up or seductive progressions as Josh's adventures & this recent one. Great to have you back & I'm looking forward to the new stuff! Until next story...ciao

I gotta say, maybe the GREATEST first chapter to a story that I have ever read. Holy crap, VERY good. I loved the first person view, and how the brother explained everything in such great detail, with TONS of witty comedy thrown in. My god, such a good start. I hope that you write ten THOUSAND more chapters like that and explain every part of the brother & sister's relationship JUST LIKE THAT. I can't give you enough praise for the fantastic job you did on this chapter. Please continue, we're ALL looking forward to it. Slow stories with amazing build-up are always my favorite, cuz they really get you into the plot. I'm a fellow writer, and I hope to write a story as good as this someday. Wow, just amazing. Thanks so much.

I loved it. I think that it could really go far. I am interested in seeing more. I cant wait until the sequel. I cant remember reading a better story.

I can only repeat what others have been said: The story rings true to reality, with a great sense of humor, and we have to see a sequel as soon as possible!!!

Brilliantly written. Great development, description and writing in general. Ignore anyone that didn't like it, they just can't appreciate erotic writing that has a proper story. A great job by yourself, well done. Eagerly await the sequel, so hope you get it done soon!

I like his attitude and everything he thought/said. The idea of it from his point of view was delightful. I can'y wait to read more, just don't tease us too long.

Fuck! what a waste! All words and no action! Damn.

Amazing! It didn't get me off or anything...but still. I loved the style. Don't listen to any idiots who say that nothing happened. It's so realistic. It's just day-to-day stuff but with a fantastic narrative.

I loved the style, but the fact that it ended without anything is somewhat of a disappointment given that I know you are busy and sequels come at a very slow pace

Oh God, that was hilarious! The style of writing makes this guy sound alot like me or my buddy! wow, good job, keep it up.

Got more than one laugh out of this.

Very funny style.

aces all the way. i enjoyed reading your text.

Having had an older sister that I absolutely adored as a teen, I can relate to your story. I thought it was fun and your style was excellent.

I loved your story, as a big sister myself I found it very entertaining, made me laugh out loud. Very good. Look forward to reading more of your work.

AND I AM ENTHRALLED. Beyond all belief you defiantly are amazingly gifted

You're a f***ing genius Amazing story I loved it didn't make me cum though but a f***ing dope story.

Cleverly written piece. I love reading erotica, but you have a talent for writing I hope you are using elsewhere too!

so funny!! you have a wonderful talent, i wish i could read more of this story!!

Did you know that literotica is about erotica?

Very well written, and lets not forget hilarious! I swear I was rolling on the floor laughing when you described that last bathroom scene.

I like it it really pulled me in and left me wanting more and you really made your character believable

I have read many stories on this site, but i still found this different (in a good way of course).the style of writing is captivating

.Dying to read the next chap.thnxxxxx

Hilarious. What male (no matter his age) cannot identify with this hapless horny boy?

Very well written in a conversational style. Very clever, very readable. Nicely done.

I've never been an 18 yr old boy, but suddenly I feel like I completely understand why they act the way they do. Thanks for the insight and the laughs. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Vivid reminder of how horny I once was! Hilarious now; then, not so much.

I made it part way through page two and had to give up. Quit reading to save myself the misery actually... This dude is sad ass pathetic! Ugh. Reminds me of the loser that was dating a coworker, followed her around like a fucking puppydog on his days off, when he was working he would call her constantly like a fucking teenage girl, checking up on her, no doubt paranoid that she was fucking around (she was, fucked at least two of the guys in the shop, who knows who else!).

Heres how fucking pathetic; he calls up at work and I answer, he asks for her and I tell him shes in the bathroom. He IMMEDIATELY calls back on her cellphone! Fucking pathetic!!

Eventually he knocked her up, ( she had already been knocked up by some other wank loser) ...and I can GUARANTEE that he punched holes in the condom to make sure he knocked her up! (Either that or the kid belonged to the guy in the shop) ...either way she married the dude, mostly because if she had been an unwed mother with two kids her family would have freaked on her ass!!

She was beautiful though. Wow. My standards are different than most, I like shorter girls with narrow hips and just a handful of tits and ass. That she was, and blonde. (Which I usually don't like). Gawd I had it bad for her! ..didn't see me embarrassing myself like a loser though, lol. If she had shown interest I would have rocked her world... Ironically shes a nymphomaniac, seriously. Same here though. Difference though is I knew she was a lying, cheating, manipulative slut. I would have just fucked her into a gleeful puddle every day though so she was too happy and sore to think about moving around Ive always been good for five or six times a day:)

...alls well that ends well though, all she wanted to do was stay at home and hatch out babies after that (while no doubt fucking around while hubby is at work and the kids are at school, lol, maybe I should email her!) they have like five or six kids now and she doesn't look nearly as good as she once did. ...and I don't care what they say, shit doesn't stretch back to where it was after you push out a bunch of kids!

....how the hell did I get so far off topic?

Ironically I met my wife at work too, and she looks damned near as good now twenty years later as she did then! :). ....hitting facecrook, I cant say that for most of the girls that I dated back then, lol.

Exceedingly so.

That was a lot of build up for not a great deal of fun!

This was hilarious.