Innocence

Life became school, study, go to work, then go home and eat, sleep. Other than that, we did nothing at all for the first few months.

The idea of dating was in my head after listening to all the other girls, even though it was hard to really get to know any of them. They were all so completely different than I was, they talked about sex all the time.

I suppose one could say my life up to this point was somewhat sheltered and different.

Then I met Karen and we hit it off. She taught me about makeup, I had never ever put any on and had no idea how, she also taught me a few things about how to do my hair. I always wore it very short, my Mom cut it that way because wearing it long got in the way around the farm.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my brown hair was getting longer than it had ever been, just a couple of inches but I could see it even had little waves in it.

Karen was at our apartment one evening when Danny walked in from work. She was surprised at first, not expecting that and I hadn't even told her.

Then when I introduced them, telling her Danny and I lived together, Karen looked at the single bed, then at me with an odd expression.

I could tell she didn't believe me when I told her we were just friends and grew up together.

But I also saw the way she looked at Danny, and that irritated me.

+++

Karen was over quite a bit after that, it was nice to have a female friend since I had never before in my life ever had one that was close.

She was an inch taller than me and looked a little bit like she had some Spanish blood like the workers our folks hired sometimes. Finally she did believe me about Danny and my relationship, I could tell because she began to flirt with him some.

I didn't really mind that too much because Danny acted like it didn't register on him. He would come in, say hello, then go straight to his books.

Once Karen asked what the deal was with him, didn't he like girls? I told her I was sure he did since I had seem him react, I even told her about the time were were trying to get some livestock out of the water and he had gotten hard.

That incident really stuck in my mind because it made me feel flushed, excited. I had tried to cover up my reaction by teasing him, we ended up in a scuffle and I threw him into the pond.

She roared with laughter at my story. Then she told me she would "fuck him in a New York minute" which shocked me and also pissed me off a little bit.

Karen saw my expression and grinned.

"You like him, huh?" She said with a knowing look.

"We are just friends, is all." I said.

"Uh huh." She answered.

+++

Karen was the one that introduced me to Davey. He was a big round faced young man with a really nutty sense of humor. At first all we did was sit in the library and chat quietly, then we went to the cafeteria for lunch. For some reason I really did like him even though he was big and soft appearing.

When Davey asked me out to the movies I happily went, and when he drove to the park we sat and talked for a long time. He kissed me, then he touched my chest and I let him.

I talked to Karen about that and she told me that I was probably getting ready to have sex, so I should get some pills.

That is what I did, when I went to the Doctor it was a very old man and that was my first real experience with that. We had a Doctor when we were kids but it was an old Indian woman, this was completely different. He even pulled the gown down and felt me all over up top, I gritted my teeth and let him but I know my face was bright red.

The old Doctor told me I was very healthy, I swear he was smirking at just having his hands all over me. But maybe not, after all, he was just a Doctor.

I never told Danny about any of that, he was always sitting with his nose in his books anyway.

It was a few dates later when it happened, by then Davey and I were kissing a lot. I liked that, too.

I am not quite sure how it all happened but it felt good and was exciting, then somehow one night I was pushed onto my back and he put his hand up my skirt.

He just tugged at the side of my panties, then I could feel him poking at me and then I was all wet feeling and he sat up.

I knew of course that that men came in different sizes but Davey's thing was really little, he barely got part way in before he shuddered and stopped. I didn't really feel anything at all, and I was thinking I was supposed to?

The next day I told Danny, I must have done something wrong because it sure wasn't anything like I had expected.

Danny would know, I thought.

Then Danny acted all weird about it, I didn't understand that at all. I never even got to ask him the questions I had in my mind.

Then to make things worse, Davey acted different and having lunch together stopped, plus he quit asking me out. I guessed that he was just checking them out, nearly all of the girls in my classes were going out with lots of other guys.

When I went out to dinner with an upper class man named Walt, Danny acted all funny again so I thought maybe he was jealous.

So I asked him when we were in bed if he wanted to. I was thinking that would be nice and I had seen Danny nude many times, so I was sure he could if he wanted to.

But he told me he had never even thought about it. That hurt, and it also made me really mad.

He sounded like he was accusing me of doing it with Walt, and he acted mad about me and Davey.

I had no idea at all of what to think, and things were getting complicated since Danny now ignored me even more than he had before.

I did date some more but I never let any of the boys do anything, except sometimes we would kiss a little bit and things like that.

The entire first and second semester went like that. My grades were good, all "B's". Danny did even better.

Then one night Danny told me he had a date. That surprised me, he had never gone out with anyone at all, not once during the first two semesters.

The girl he was going out with was Karen!

Karen, my very best friend?

I did not like that at all.

+++

DAN

Linda didn't change expression when I told her I had a date to go out to dinner. I thought she would be happy. She did change expression when I told her my date was with Karen, then she turned away from me and acted like she was busy.

I had managed to save up enough money to buy an old 1952 Chevy, it didn't run but I knew quite a bit about making things run from growing up working on the farm. The balers used those V-4 Wisconsin engines, those were simple things but the Chevy had a six cylinder engine. I realized the Chevy was a lot like our old Ford 3000 tractor, everything worked pretty much the same way.

It only took me a couple of weeks, finally one day it started, a huge cloud of smoke poured out for several minutes but then that cleared out and it sat there idling a sweet as it could be.

I set the lifters so that each one made a nice quiet ticking sound, remembering my Dad telling me that if I couldn't hear them they were too tight.

Linda and I went for a ride in it after I cleaned out the mouse droppings from the floorboards and covered the holes in the seats with a seat cover I found in a second hand shop.

That was a fun day until I told her later about the date with Karen. She was on the snappy side with me all the rest of the afternoon.

The date was neat, we went to one of those inexpensive steak house places. I would have liked it to be fancy but when you have just $29.00 in your pocket that causes limitations.

"Let's go down to the park by the river." Karen asked me as we drove towards her house. So I pulled in there. By the time I got the engine shut off and the brake set she was plastered up against me.

She leaned over and kissed me, that was a surprise because I had been thinking of how to ask her for a kiss once I got her home.

"You can touch me if you want to." She said.

That was amazing too, I could feel her bra underneath the blouse she wore, then she had her hand on the back of mine steering it to the buttons. I shyly touched her bra once the blouse was undone, still not completely sure of myself.

"You are bashful, aren't you?" She asked me.

"No...not really, I..It's just that..." I stammered. She reached down and tugged her bra up over her breasts, and put my hand on them again.

She felt really soft and let out a little moan when my fingers touched her nipples. Then I felt her hand rub me through my pants, by then if I was any harder I would have poked a hole right in the front of them.

But then all I could think about was Linda. Karen's hand was busy rubbing me but I felt myself go limp. Something wasn't right and I knew that.

After a few minutes of feeling each other and kissing a lot, she told me she wanted to go home so I started the car and drove her over to her house.

"I think I get it, you are hung up on Linda, aren't you?" She asked as we sat there.

"I don't know." I told her.

"I do. Go do something about it!" She laughed, then got out. Then she stopped, leaned back in and kissed me.

"Jesus!" She mumbled, then she went inside the house.

+++

LINDA

I pretended to be asleep when Danny came in. He was trying to be very quiet, I listened as he stood there for a long time. Then he went into the toilet and pulled the screen closed.

I could hear him in there trying to be quiet and I knew what he was doing so I figured that he and Karen hadn't done anything.

Somehow that made me feel good. Later I felt him slip into the bed, then his breathing slowed and he went to sleep.

I lay there a long time, feeling the warmth from his body.

It was still dark when something woke me up, I realized he had rolled over and his arm was touching me. Usually I would move a little bit but this time I just lay there. There was enough light shining in that I could see his face.

It was like an electric shock when his arm moved again and slid over my stomach. I rolled over onto my side, facing him. His eyes opened and he looked at me.

"Oh. Sorry." He whispered and started to pull his arm back. I reached down and held his hand there.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing, it's all right." I told him.

We lay there just like that, looking at each other. Then his hand moved, just barely up and down my side.

"Danny." I whispered, leaning forward to kiss him. His hand slid around my back, now we were very close. He stopped there for several seconds, but I didn't move.

"Did you mean it?" He whispered to me.

"Mean what?"

"When you said that we..could, if I wanted to?"

"Yes." The word came out in a gasp.

"I want to, all I can think about is you!"

Then his hands were all over me. I reached down and felt him, he was so big and hard. I had never touched a man before, not even during that few seconds with Davey.

Now I wanted to, it was all I could think of. I could feel him pulling at my panties as I pulled at his briefs, there was a struggle and the covers ended up on the floor.

Naked, he lay partially on top of me, I opened my legs and he managed to move over. His fingers touched me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Then I could feel him pushing at me, so I reached down and grasped him, getting him lined up.

My mouth flew open and I let out a long moan as a stab of pain shot through me. Danny went rigid and started to pull back but I grabbed him.

"I'm hurting you." He whispered.

"Don't....stop!" I managed, shoving my lower body upwards as hard as I could. There was another fierce stab of pain, then it was gone.

Nothing else, nothing else was left, there was only Danny filling me. Then a sensation poured over my body, nothing I had ever felt or even dreamed of.

The room was quiet, it was still dark. I could feel Danny's weight, he was still inside me as I became aware. I could feel every inch as he softened, then even though I tried very hard to keep him there, he slid out.

He rolled over onto his side, then pressed against me. His hand was stroking my upper body slowly, each time his fingers brushed my nipples it was like an electric shock.

Finally I felt his weight shift, he got up and went to the toilet. He was only there for a few minutes and then he came back out.

"You need to get up, Linda." He told me simply.

I glanced down at myself in the dim light from the bathroom he had turned on. I could see why, the bed was a bloody mess.

I sat up, my head still spinning. Finally I managed to get to the bath. Danny was just putting the top blankets back on when I came back out.

"Are you all right?" He asked me.

"Yes, I am fine."

We got back into the bed, this time were were not careful about giving each other room.

"I thought you said you did it before with Davey?" Danny whispered to me.

"I thought I did." I whispered back. He started laughing at that, then we both were laughing.

"I'm glad things worked out this way." He told me. I was snuggled as tight against him as I could get.

"Me, too."

"Are you all mine now? It's just going to be us?"

"Yes. I think it always has been anyway. I really do love you."

"I love you too. But what do we tell our folks?" He asked me.

"I think they will be very happy." I said.

+++

Karen knocked on the door the next afternoon, Danny was gone to one of his late classes.

"Are you sick? You weren't in class today." She asked the moment I answered.

"No, I just...just took the day off is all."

"Oh. Well, I just came by to tell you all about my date with Danny." She said.

"Oh. How did that go?" I asked her, trying to keep a straight face.

"Not very good, he is about half worthless, I couldn't get him to do anything, really."

"That's too bad." I managed to keep a straight face.

Four times earlier Danny had made love to me, until all that was left was the two of us exhausted and sweaty.

Karen and I sat and visited like always.

Danny came in about an hour later, he smiled and nodded at Karen, then he walked over and leaned down and kissed me.

Karen's eyes widened in surprise. Then she started laughing.

"Not worthless, huh?" She said.

"Nope." I answered, giving my guy a hug.