All Comments on 'Innocence Lost: Becoming a Slut'

It was a good story but to long as should of been separated and turned in several parts as there was enough of a plot to keep us interested. There also was a few area that could of used correction of grammar from having some one go through it and edit it. I am a volunteer editor on her should you like my assistance in your story writing. You have potential to become a very nice writer and maybe we can even get you in one of their contests they have and you win.

It was a great story and held my interest to the end. However it was too long.

Here is some help with your comment. The word is "too" long, not "to" long. It is "should have been" instead of "should of been". It is turned "into" several parts, not turned "in" several parts. "There also was a few area that could of used correction of grammar from having some one go through it and edit it." should instead be "There were also a few areas that could have used correction of grammar by having someone review and edit them" You are a volunteer editor because if you took money for editing, you'd be stealing. "You have potential to become a very nice writer and maybe we can even get you in one of their contests they have and you win." (This last sentence is a run-on sentence) Don't teach what you don't know. Even if I make one or two mistakes, I can still teach you.

16 Chapters? you got to be shiting me! I read the first three and they were good, but don't have all night to read 16 chapters, you should have broken them up over time.

This story belongs in non-consent. The story begins with gang rape. This feels like a man's fantasy of how a woman becomes a slut. And really if you're going to write something like this please get an editor who will catch stuff like "Did you organism?"

Once I realized this was going to be rape after rape I quit reading.

Milly, Lilly, Nelly - edit to make sure you have the right "slut" The names got switched around several times. In generally the story needed a good edit. Of course, it is hard to edit a lengthy story like this, which is another reason to break it up into chapters.

Def. some grammatical errors but after writing a f-ing novel, that should be expected. Overall, good story....kept my interest; however, if you would have put more detail in the sex then you could have easily broken this up to several chapters/short stories. I was trying to guess if you are a young female or a guy that is inexperienced in your own sex life...hmmm....I was trying to understand the rapey vibe. Yeah...and characters names don't have to rhyme. Keep it up and like sex, if it goes too long then it starts to get tired.

I don't know about any of these other commenters but I thought this story truly fantastic! The writing of her personal doubts, loss of innocence and acceptance of her deeply hidden slutty nature was both well done, personally moving and erotic.

It dodged the pitfalls of "instant conversion" and mean spiritedness that so many other stories fall into. I can't wait until i see more from this very promising writer.

Sure there were some minor wording errors not caught by spellcheck, mainly "organism" for "orgasm", but these are easily forgiven given the skillfully portrayed voyage of character transformation.

Well done and thank you for such a great story!

Hugs of appreciation,

-Darla Donna

This was, for the most part, a decent provocative story. However, your editing before posting needs a lot more work. You, especially, couldn't seem to keep the characters names straight....probably because they were so similar.

The grammar. Sometimes you also mix up characters. And it belongs in mon consent /reluctance. I didn't read it all. I read far enough though. There s rape involved. And then reluctance. There's guys fucking with girls mind to fu k them. Disgusting behaviour from disgusting characters.

I would love to see a story where the girl is not shamed for liking/enjoying sex.

I plead guilty for commenting on a story without having read it. I did get through the first half page and found three problems which turned me off and forced me into a 2* rating. 1) the author starts out with the incredibly arcane and stupid assumption that once a girl/woman turns 18 she is an adult. This, of course, comes from the strict rule, somewhat based on law, that in Literotica you can't describe sexual acts that occur with people under the age of 18. I understand the legality of this issue, but that doesn't mean the author has to buy into the idiocy that teenagers suddenly become "adults" when they have their 18th birthday. "Newfound independence" I think the author called it. Has anybody ever felt older or more mature or more capable the day after celebrating any birthday? 2) I hate stories where the author lacks the imagination to use distinctly different names. In the first have page we have a Milly and a Nelly and the way I read these stories I know that I'm going to have trouble keeping their names and histories separate. As I skipped to the last page to get to the commentary form, I found there was also a Shelly and further justified my dumping this tale. 3) By skipping to the bottom of page 1 to get to the forwarding numbers I found that this potential horror had 16 pages to it.

Wasn't I clever to skip 15-1/2 pages of blah. 2* - just as a place marker.