All Comments on 'Innocent Text Messages Pt. 02'

We now have depth of character as to Selene. But for future reference: Marines don't have medics. Navy Hospital Corpsmen serve with us in that capacity. Army/Air Force have medics.

Any male that considers himself to be a man will kick your ass out to the street. Any woman who is smart would never find herself in that position. All a smart person has to do is to switch the roles and see if they would accept their behavior from their spouse. I have no doubt that if Tony had been doing what Selene had been doing, Tony would be laying on the curb in pain from where she had kicked his nuts into his stomach.

Hey guys. It was already mentioned to me that Marines don't have medics. I want to say that I do know this, and we will find out later that Brian is actually a Navy Corpsmen that is in the "Navy Green" program. Since I was writing this story from Selene's point of view, this is something that she probably wouldn't know. That is why I had her say that he was a Marine. We will later hear from Brian (spoiler alert) and he will tell his side of the story. I hope you guys tune in for that one, because that is the best one yet. Thank you for reading.

Wifey may not have cheated, but she is still a vain, selfish woman. There is no way in hell that her actions thus far would pass the Husband Test. Like the last paragraph said:

"Now I am left with three problems. One: How to get Tony to see that I love him more than anything. Two: How to get Tony to see that I really had no intention of sleeping with Brian or anyone else for that matter. Three: How to get Tony to not walk out of that door and out of my life."

Good luck with that. Oh, and Brian, the cocky asshole, deserves a beatdown.

5 Stars. A few grammatical and punctuation errors aside, it was still very well written.

Not as gripping as Chapter 1, but still good. Thanks for sharing.

and looking forward to what comes next. I have my suspicions, but I'd rather just let the author take it where he wants it to go.

Thanks for writing--

ohio

Interesting but not compelling. I think there should have been more to it but will await future Pts before rating. Keep going.

This is because I personally prefer single narrator stories. I find having multiple narrators takes the shine off the intensity of the story as well as being a distraction from the established emotions of the initial narrator.

This being said, it was interesting to hear Wifey's explanation; she may not have been unfaithful but she cheated emotionally. I think if she is true to herself, she would probably admit to considering sleeping with the hot & hunky Brian because there was enough warped justification in her mind. She felt like she was getting over the hill and her husband wasn't giving her the attention she wanted, or so she thought even if he was typically attentive.

It's interesting to know Brian was ex-marines which means the extreme BTB crowd would see Hubby come of the worst in a physical confrontation. Not saying it would be hard for Hubby, just difficult...

I rated the first instalment 5* but will refrain from rating this one as I'm eager to hear Brian's side of the story. Still a wonderful attempt by javmor79 and a damn sight better than the flash wimp stories which litter the LW section.

"Would you have done this in front of your spouse?"

She's skiing in an avalanche zone.

Awaiting the next verse ....

Excellent ch.2. So good it sounds like real life. Now we have both husband and wife's take on the situation. Now bring in the asshole Brian. Personally I'm with ID about him needing a beating. Please continue...

She likes to flirt and has a need for attention. Some of that can be sexy but is she in control? She is playing this game with Brian who is an jerk. Why? Teasing a few guys who are basically nice people would probably result in no trouble. But nooooo, she has to go for the bad boy, who she KNEW would be trouble. And THAT is disrespecting her husband. Period. So I hope we don't go the "But I never had sex" route, as if that is the only lousy thing a wife can do to a husband. She screwed up. I hope she can admit it and learn from it. Confess she was on an ego trip but ignored the possible impact on her marriage and that was wrong.

Good story so far.

She really is a self-serving BITCH.

This is not what I expected. The wife's characterization of her married sex life is pathetic. She deserves to lose him. If she wants something else, i.e. sex outside the marriage, flirting.... then leave now and explore that downward spiral to middle age loneliness of quick fucks and no one to warm up the bed! No long term love just fucking, slam bam thank you mam.

And she sounds like she feels being chased is rewarding, but that is for when you are single not for a married couple, with a family of needing daughters who didn't come to this point to be hurt by STUPIDITY and SELF CENTERED ARROGANCE.

I think he has to trash her and then she needs to get some kind of rude awakening and get therapy, then see if hubby wants her?

Thanks for the story so far, I couldn't care less about a few typos and grammaticals here and there (precious few in this story) you write it for free, and we read it for free. Thanks for the effort. Introduction to part 1 stated it was loosely based on a friends experience, and I can feel it in the story, it has the ring of reality. I made a comment on first chapter that hospital Human Resource Departments look dimly on this activity, and they seriously do. After 15 years in acute care, I'm well aware of the damage that a fuckwad like Brian can cause to a health care facility. I don't know how the story will go, but in real life, H.R. needs to know. Selene has some real issues that are cancer to a marriage. She has a lot of work to do if she really wants to salvage the marriage. Once lost, trust is almost impossible to rebuild. She's looking outside the marriage to boost her ego and self image, it's like cancer. This story is very unique and original, the scenario is fresh and with a ring of realism. A new chapter each day also helps. It will be interesting to see if Selene can save her marriage, I kind of hope so but I don't want to see Tony wimp out. Tony does not need revenge, if H.R. finds out, fuckwad's behavior could be his own undoing. Damaged marriage, (or marriages) lost work days, workplace tension- especially in health care. This is a definite employer issue.

It's time for the husband to call HR and then visit them and show them the e-mails and photo. Even if it means firing the wife too. She needs to be taught a lesson and the guy needs to be fired. Maybe the husband can met him one night with a bat and beat his ass. Just two ideas that came to me if that happened in my marriage.

The length was good. I noticed several missing words that kind of took me out of the story momentarily, but nothing too agrievous. Tony definitely needs to have a come to Jesus meeting with her. She needs to be made to jump through a bunch of hoops. She definitely needs to learn that her vows are bigger than her whore ego.

Saxon Hart

Your efforts are appreciated! So far you have gotten a split response to the multi-narration device. I think the one guy has a point that a single narrator can help give a stronger, more consistent tone to the piece. However, there have been too many stories that falter, when ALL of the characters aren't properly fleshed out. I think that in this case, knowing her motivations really helps this story. (I think) Many of us want to know what drives a woman to cheat, but it seems we rarely learn the "true" reasons, and certainly not, when the story is told from ONLY an angry, resentful, betrayed spouse's POV. Your spoiler about hearing from the male nurse, could definitely be an added bonus in perspective, as long as the focus remains on the married couple's actions and reactions, as the plot builds towards the climax/resolution. Javmor, I agree, with most that this is a fine first effort. Thanks again for your time. It is an interesting concept, and SOOOOO much better than much of the crappy cuck BS that this LW category is sadly getting known for. I hope you continue to present challenging stories, designed to make readers think, and avoid the temptation to succumb to what is merely "popular". I know that you will, because even when you comment on other author's stories, you give us all something to think about. Thanks, again!

Love the concept of this one and I'm looking forward to how you wrap it up. Keep up the excellent work!

let's see if the author can pick it up and the presentation as chapter 1...

She's a married woman who got caught having an emtional, so far, affair and it's the guy she's cheating with's fault. I guess cheaters can always find a way to justfy their actions.

Anyway well written looking forward to next chapter.

Butter wouldn't melt in this woman's mouth as she "explains " this was just for fun that has gotten out of hand, due to that cad Brian. Nope, not buying it. She was in full-on cock tease mode. When a woman exchanges 200 texts with a man & talks about seeing his erection - the game is on.

Is Brian a asshole? No doubt, but this kind of game takes two players. This is the equivalent of hand-feeding the wild animals at the zoo. She's supposed to be the smart one, Brian is the beast being tantalized. No way, he sends the graceless picture of his junk without inappropriate encouragement on her part.

I get that hot women are insecure about their appearance, like a cat sharpening their claws, they flirt with random men to give and get boost to ego. But 200 steamy text messages is beyond the pale. Brian was being cock teased by an expert. He's doing what beasts do. Don't feed the bears. Don't

flippantly text the workplace stud. Simple as that.

I mentioned in Ch. 01 the characters needed more development (Or something like that). This was an excellent continuation.We only have to hear from/about Brian and finally how you see it concludes. I have my opinion, which will hold on to for now.

No preference on switching narrators. If it works it works. In this case it's working for me. I needed further character development to get engaged. I am. Thanks. Looking forward to Ch. 03.

This installment wasn't as well written. Missing words etc previously pointed out. No big deal but using resources available including an editor / proofreader might be something to consider for the future. Good story and thanks for writing. 4.

I have enjoyed both installments. Thank you for being timely!

very good, especially for a first effort - but I think you need to get an editor. I made corrections as I was reading, but found it a little frustrating.

Keep up the good work.

Looking forward to the next installment

Good descriptive words that let us know how the 2 of them are feeling. Still interesting. Waiting on the 3rd part for a decent conclusion to this mess.

This search for validation that they are still sexy, still desirable is one of the top reasons that women do cheat.

Their marriage is in real trouble.

That this particular man is the prototypical "dog" and she knows it does not mean that the next one that comes along will not get her to drop her panties.

Reminds me of POTUS publicly filling out a NCAA bracket WHILE Putin is glooming onto Crimea! It is a question of degree! Most years it goes unnoticed (and I think it should!) But, as LSD points out, 200 text messages over a few months is many degrees beyond the pale...and Sweetie and her Wannabe Wood also have a lot of opportunity to interact on the job, so the text trail may be a SMALL fraction of their courtship (even if Sweetie is keeping a close watch on the progress of his suit - and that may NOT be the case - she may have drifted much further than she expected months ago!) With Hubby's wakeup call, she probably sees the Sausage Shot as crude and excessive. I wonder how she WOULD have reacted if Hubby had not exposed his discovery! I suspect she would have complimented Fervent Flawrence* on his good fortune! Or worse!

Interesting - in her priority list, Sweetie does NOT mention decisively shutting Her Suitor DOWN (and OFF!) I would suggest she take Hubby with her to the hospital and sitting down with Suitor, Hubby and Administrator and telling all of them what she's telling WtR (we, the readers!) If the two get fired or sanctioned, too fucking bad ... she MIGHT save her marriage!

5* but weaker than Ch1!

*poor pun on Florence, as in Nightingale!

Different but I am afraid soon to be common type of problem. The psychological problems of on line cheating will come in IM and cell text forms. The person who engages in this activity has his or her feet on the path to disaster. The only thing positive in the wife's commentary is the fact that she is giving priority to trying to save her marriage. The kids deserve this.

So far Selene comes across as super self centered and shallow.

On with the story, but I am not sure that I will want to read Brian's contribution, it will probably give me a heart attack, though it might out Selene.

I'm enjoying this a lot. At the end she says she has three problems but actually she has another more fundamental one. How can she shut down Brian so definitely and publicly that her flirt reputation is buried for the remainder of her marriage? Her husband needs to know and truly believe that she's changed.

When you write like this you're inviting 1's.

Wife is really into this teasing which is a steady march to physical infidelity and already an emotional affair. Husbands' anger is very understandable. Dan

If I were Tony I could not and would not believe a word Selene said. If the bitch is going to flirt so openly with another man and leave him with the impression that she will fuck him, she will eventually do it and keep doing it until she is knocked up with a bastard baby she will try to shove off on her husband or until the other guy looks for greener pastures. Maybe the dumb slut should try flirting with her husband and chasing him a little bit instead of being one way about it. Also, if I could afford it I would hire a PI to get any dirt on her and Brian. If he could not afford a PI, Divorce the slut and tell her they will have to start over again and she will have to prove to Tony all over again that she deserves him. One way quit working at the same hospital that Brian works at

I look forward to more of this quality captivating writing

so forgive me if I am just repeating what has already been written.

I felt this chapter was a drop off from the first chapter. The first chapter jumped right into the action, and kept up the tension. This one meandered from the beginning, enough with the morning routine already. The part about encountering the wife and the husband's cool attitude towards her was effective, and then the endless background from the wife followed. And that was it. End of chapter.

I like he said/she said stories, sometimes. But, the way this story was initially progressing, I was hoping for the wife's side to come out through dialogue, which I think would have been much more effective, if less comprehensive.

Now, we are left waiting for that conversation, which is bound to be an abbreviated version of Selena's narrative in this chapter. I expect it to be repetitive and rather dull, even if you insert some emotional fireworks.

I'm curious whether the couple will get through this or not, but a lot of air has been let out of the balloon with the choices made in having Selena's monologue dominate this chapter.

On the plus side, I think the wife's tale is credible.

Hubby needs to go to the executive board of the hospital with jackasses cell phone pic and let them know what he's doing. Then he needs to confront him and let him know publicly that if he ever harasses his wife like that again, he'll take a tire iron to him.

Then he needs to tell the wife she's on probation. She will live in a fish bowl until such time he feels he can trust her. If she doesn't want to do that, she can hit the bricks.

Of course I'm sure this author already has each chapter written already so we'll just have to see how he handles it. Like everyone else, I'm waiting with anticipation. 5*s from me.

PS. Oh, just one thing; I don't believe he would have awakened with no memory of the previous night's argument. You don't forget something like that. It's the first thing on you mind when you wake up.

Really flirtatious guy, pushes too far sends inappropriate text messages.

What Selene should do (Tony could as well, with the cell phones text messages) is file a sexual harassment suit against Brian; looses his job & worse (spiteful husbands from past conquests come out of the woodwork, etc).

That's how I saw a real version of this story play out.

Really the only way for Selene to prove she truly loves her husband and to never work anywhere near the guy again; lawsuit and possible restraining order (just in case.)

However, for some reason I don't really see this story going that way exactly but, will continue to follow to find out. Great story so far; realistic.

Maybe things have changed but I think marine medics are navy corpsmen.

I think she has more problems than she thinks. If he is sending her pictures of his dick, she is one step shy of a full-blown physical affair. Few men with an IQ above room temperature would risk a sexual harassment suit like that unless he was pretty sure it wasn't going to blow up in his face. One thing is certain though; she has severely compromised marital trust and maybe fatally.

Thank you all for your comments. I also thank you for being patient with the errors. I already submitted this story, so it's too late to correct it. I don't recall any errors in the next chapter, but I will let you guys be the judge of that.

I also want to clear up a misconception that I started. I said that we would be hearing from Brian, but it's not in the next chapter. This story is focused on Selene and Tony. We will hear from Brian in a follow on story called "Love at First Sight Theory". Don't worry, you won't have to wait long. I already posted it to Literotica, so it should come out the day after the last chapter of this story. In my opinion, it is the best part of this story. I won't give it away, but I ask that you wait until you read it to fully judge the story on a whole.

I chose the multiple POV angle for this story because of a funny animated movie that I saw with my daughter. It's called "Hoodwinked". It basically said that if there are three people in a story, you can't get the full story without talking to all three of them. I felt that this way, I could safely tell the full story without making one of the characters psychic. I'm not saying that I will use this method all of the time. If I chose to post more stories in the future, I may or may not do it this way. It depends on the story that I feel needs to come out.

Once again, I thank you guys for your constructive criticism. I was a little over excited about posting these chapters and I bypassed the editor. Now that I "popped my cherry" I will settle down and make sure that I present you with my best if I post more in the future.

While the first part established tension that was skillfully maintained, the second part was kind of a let down. The abrupt change in POV with the wife talking directly to us, e.g. "you guys", was disconcerting and destroyed the effect of the first part. The mostly irrelevant back story also deflated the story somewhat.

I think you could have maintained the tension by revealing the back story through dialog between husband and wife where you thought it would advance the story.

Anyway, it's your story, and yours to fashion any way you want. It's better than average and hopefully we'll be treated to more.

What will it be? Reconciliation story? Consequence story? I do not know, but interesting 5*****.

The wife overflirted with this ashole Brian, which could tend to a wronged future marriage state. Could she and her husband turn back the fate together???

Yeah, what he said.

Looking forward to the rest of the story.

As stated already, Selene needs to have a wake up call. Brian needs a beat-down plus... Hubby should include HR in the process, think of how embarrassed Selene will be from that.

. . . this chapter didn't have the dynamic tension of chapter one. In truth it is almost impossible to get that level of tension in a one person chapter. This chapter might have been better developed as wife trying to explain to hubby how things got to where they are and hubby interjecting his disgust at her behavior as the conversation rolled along.

Still a good read though, keep the story going.

It would have been difficult to maintain the intensity of the first part without burying the wife so deep she could never get out. Many of us are married to attractive women, and hopefully, we all believe that we are. We know other guys look at their tits and asses, and we look at the wives of other guys. We love it when another guy's wife flirts with us, and we often read too much into it. The Brian guy is not the problem here. There will always be a guy that wants to get into our wives' panties. I hope they never stop wanting it! Who wants a wife other guys find unattractive or undesirable? The problem here is for the wife to convince hubby that she is truly sorry and had no intention of following through with the flirting. How does one prove intent? It ain't easy! Few first timers create the interest that J79 has managed to stir up. Good job!

I gave it 4 stars where I gave ch. 1 5 stars.

Others will tell you I am anal about spelling, grammar and word usage. You needed to edit it more carefully, or get someone else to read and edit. Many more mistakes in this one.

The break to Selene's narrative was kind of abrupt, but it did tell her side of the story. One does not have to have intercouse with someone to cheat on your spouse, I know. I do see the change that Selene has a dirtier mouth than Tony, but that just indicates that it is two people giving discourse. I liked that.

Looking forward to #3 but don't get to fast in getting it posted that you get sloppy. Good start.

Story going very well. Thank you J79.

The first chapter was excellent. The story has gone downhill a bit in this chapter, but it's by no means bad. I didn't care for the POV switch for two reasons.

First, it sort of let a lot of air out of the balloon, as far as suspense goes. Now we know the extent of the inappropriate behavior, exactly how she feels about the husband and about Brian. That is, as a previous commenter already pointed out, with the exception that she may have reacted differently had she received the picture in private. It might have been just one more illicit thrill to her, if it hadn't shamed her in front of her husband and caused problems for her at home.

Second, I think there was a drop in the quality of writing in the section from Selene's perspective. There was a bit too much extraneous information (for a fairly short story, that is) directly addressing the readers, a few missing words.

I'm still interested in reading the next chapter and seeing if and how they will get past this. We may know her intentions, but her husband doesn't and will understandably have trouble believing her. Even then, she was still in the wrong, and more than she thinks she was. I definitely think the relationship would be salvageable, but I'm hoping Tony doesn't make it too easy on her. She needs to be aware that she has disrespected her husband and her marriage and that what she has been doing is far across the line of what is acceptable. Two hundred-plus flirtatious text messages with a young stud, with a serious attraction between them...it's going to be quite a hill to climb to put their marriage on track, if it even happens.

Thank you for putting this out there. It's been good so far, and food for thought. I'm looking forward to your next story, about Brian, as well.

Cog

Several grammatical errors here really do not detract from the story at all, since the intention of the author is always clear, meaning that what is being said is clear.

I think the point of view of the wife is necessary here because the fills out the story in a way that just the husband's perspective alone doesn't.

You've created a really interesting scenario, and have written it so that it stirs the emotion of the reader greatly. The intensity of the character's emotions and their investment in the marriage, and the marriage's success, is great. I'm pulling for them staying together in this one, which I'm not always doing from storyline to storyline.

Great job, fine writing and congratulations with your first submission. Thank you for writing.

5* so far.

Best regards,

-Pultoy

This chapter started dragging a little for me. Since this is based on a true story just let me say that wives like this one that feel sorry about how boring their lives are really piss me off and really, really gets my blood boiling when they do stupid shit like she is doing. I'd ask what actually was she doing to make her and your husbands life more exciting??? Looks to me like finding a fuck buddy was her solution to her boring life. I'm sure these type wives also would have a BIG problem with their husbands doing the same thing.

Take all your "like I saids" and change them to "as I saids" and I will add one star to what I think your work deserves.

It landed with a thud. Best of luck reintroducing some feeling and action in chapter 3.

That cunt needs to see a shrink and no one flirts that blatantly without intending it to go somewhere. She's lying to herself if she claims anything else. She got caught so now she wants to pretend she wasn't plaining for the physical betrayal of her husband and marriage.

Also, please find an editor.

The story from the wife’s POV was necessary to complete the story as too reflect that the wife is just not another cheating wife. I think most people like their ego’s stroked by the opposite sex. Women do it to men to get some thing they what, perhaps a discount on a car repair to a mechanic, a man doing to a secretary to get his report finished on time etc.

Now the author has set a series of situations for the characters to over come. It will be interesting how the author resolves the problems facing each character !

Good start to a first story

Keep writing. You will get better.

Like the plot. The characters draw the reader into the story. That's very good.

Just need a bit more conflict. Make your reader uncomfortable . That's how the

best stories do it. Just don't forget to leave room for resolution.

AMerryMan

Or is it going to be a chapter 3 ??. Thanks for sharing.

Good story line and I feel it is well written.

Some people will not like this story. Far too close for reality for them.

Too bad.

Please give us more chapters and more stories, too, please.

Not worth a comment.

Then it fell flat on it's face in the first chapter. But since it began differently, it got some attention. Along came the rushed 2nd chapter, which is a bunch of repetitive messes, combined with the usual punctuation errors, typos, incomplete sentences.

Like typically happens, the thing becomes boring drivel. Still, salvagable...maybe.

I will reserve my votes, so far it's...2's.

though this chapter seems to stop at an awkward place: husband and wife have had a few exchanges the morning after the confrontation but to what purpose so far?

The wife has a 4th problem whose name is Brian. She needs to shut him down socially/romantically and to be able to professionally associate with him at work.

4*s

not a patch on chapter 1. The fast paced and streamlined storytelling that made chapter 1 so riveting was replaced with a history chapter that killed the inertia and held the story back. Like commenters have said, having the couples past come out during a conversation would of worked so much better and would of retained the pacing of chapter 1.

Selene is a selfish bitch with no respect for her husband and not much for herself seeing how much she "flirts" with other men. The guys she works with must think she is a right slut considering her actions. Why didn't she talk to Tony about their sex life if it bothered her so much instead of acting like a bitch in heat? Her pushing guys buttons to the limit through her flirting can only lead to a disaster either by a slip on her part or the guy not taking her "no" as really meaning "NO"!

I disagree with the suggestion a few posters have made about Tony going to HR about the shit Selene and arsehole have been up to, as there is no way wifey could come away from this cleanly. If their text sex game was only starting there might be a slight chance (she would of had to ask marine boy to stop and she didn't) but with over 200 messages there is no way only dipshit would be in trouble from the company's point of view. It takes two to tango and in this instance Selene is way more guilty due to being the cheater out of the two of them (fuckstick having a wife hasn't been mentioned).

Hasn't she learnt yet after all these years that that one thing that destroys a husband deeper than a bullet is belittling him by playing around. She says she had no intention of fucking this dude but hell talk about Russian roulette, what an idiot

The wife's problem is common in cheaters, and one she doesn't seem to realize she has - flirt with the edge, and you just might go over ... Even if you had no intention of doing so. In my line of work I hear that excuse all the time. I never intended to do it! In this case, she didn't actually do it, but chances are if hubby didn't interceded she would have eventually. That's a reality she needs to come face to face with. Beautiful chapter. Five stars.

As many have written, this slowed everything down, way, way down. To much back story. Some, yes. Not a whole chapter. She's very shallow and self centered.

Some questions. I know chapter 3 has been written, but. . .

Why would she NOT come to their bed that night? Sorry. I'm done with you? There's even more going on, and I don't want to face you? Huge red flag to Tony. And would she really have left the cell phone in there over night, with the chance of another text coming in. Not, even with half a brain.

Why not reply to the picture right then, in front of Tony? " Brian, you fucking asshole!! etc.. Not doing anything put Brian ahead of Tony. bad.

Tony forgetting why the other side is empty? Not. Not fighting in front of the girls is right on, but after there off to school, "I'm off" isn't the first thing coming out of Tony's mouth. Tony could have been awaken by the cell. A new text, Brian wondering why no reply; why she called out; or even for a dirt bag, "did I go to far?" Just to start up the AM fire. Just some thoughts.

Really enjoyed the first chapter,5 stars. This was a solid 3. Looking forward to the rest.

Yeah, the answer is simple: it's all Brian's fault and not hers. That's the gist of her side of the story.

<P>

You wrote her thinking she has three problems. Uh uh. The big problem is that the answer she gives to the question of why is that it’s a boost to her ego. That’s not s reason, that’s an excuse—and a very weak one. The big problem is she very self absorbed, and she won’t be able to address the other problems until the addresses that one.

<P>

She stated she’s head over heels in love with her husband. No, she’s head over heels in love with herself.

There's no worse lie than the lie you tell yourself. People who sext do so with the intention of fucking the other person, that's the whole point of it. It's foreplay in words

She really crossed the line by flirting with Brian exchanging engaging emails that would only lead to adultery. The marriage is salvageable but she has to wake up and stop the flirting. They have two children together and she should think like an adult. Well see where tony takes this. Great story for a first time writer. I cannot see a divorce here. Plus she left all those texts on her phone pretty dumb like she wanted to get caught.

This has GREAT write written all over it.....I HOPE !!

Enjoying this tale and still hungering for the next installment. It is well paced and thought out. Once again thanks for writing and sharing it with us.

She is fucked or at least should be. She only didn't cheat because she got caught early on. One day a guys is going to push the flirting till she gives in. Don't leave hope alive. No only means no when you make it mean no. No being maybe possibly someday is how you get rapped.

Deme

Like all other comments, I appreciate your offering. No comments on errors, they didn't detract from story. My offering regarding her actions is to say "you play with a puppy, they will lick your face". Her actions are totally disrespectful to husband, family, and marriage. She needs a wakeup and husband deserves to maintain dignity as a husband, lover, and father. Anything else she's trying to fool someone other than herself. Looking forward to your next submission. TVM

But for those who have read chapter one, this seems like a delaying tactic, stalling moving along with the story. As for the story itself, the same comment applies. You remain at a cross roads. Either she doesn't cheat and the story is already over or she does and the story becomes boilerplate. Surprise me.

All I got from this was BLAH BLAH BLAH her making bullshit excuses.

Hospital administrators don't deal with this kind of shit. H.R. does.

Another stupid cunt who gets caught playing a game and ends up blaming the husband because she has absolutely no self control and can't tell him she is "lonely" and feels like she's being taken for granted. 99% of all these stories would be solved with communication and people simply taking life less seriously. I feel absolutely no compassion for this wife. She dug her grave and that is where she needs to lie. The douchebag Brian needs to be fired. Ex-marine my ass. Friendly fire?

Get it. Here's what I mean in order;

For one there's nothing wrong with a little back and forth; this person then that person. It's actually harder to do well. Don't back off.

Second some of the commenters have already dug Selene's grave. Don't they get it; the number one reason for female infidelity is lack of intimacy. Selene's already indicated she's high maintenance. That's all right.

Third, Selene probably has been flirting for years; probably been harmless. Brian is a real predator. She works a ten hour shift; he's good at what he does.

Fourth, you're doing a good job with Tony. He's in a fix because he doesn't know what's really going on. Thanks to you we do. Selene has been her flirtatious self, she's just found a real shark.

Warnings

First, they've got three kids. I don't think either Selene or Tony want to ruin their lives.

Second, Selene's worked hard to get where she is professionally. If Tony loves her I don't see him going to HR.

Third, being a navy corpsman is no guarantee Brian's some kind of tough guy. As I recall Naval basic training was a rollicking six weeks. Brian just might be another Anthony Weiner; just another asshole.

Fourth I'm afraid you might go ballistic. I don't see that in Tony. He's seems like a rational guy, a planner.

This was a five of course. Slow down though.

Your work obviously hit the nerves of many as you received about 80 comments already. I'm looking forward to the rest of this series. Five stars from me.

My only complaint is that you will find that "tone" relates to sound and music, and "toned" relates to a fit, athletic and trained body.

i may have a low attention span but when the author takes the best part of the story giving fairly boring back story the says to "skip the boring stuff" he should take the clue. The story only moved forward in the last two or three paragraphs.

I thought chapter one was pretty good. this one was less so.

Santa Clause?

also not so sure how the tsunami in the first chapter turned into a tornado in your stomach in the second. Equally unsure about the first paragraph starting with being "ripped" from being asleep. Nor repeating feeling like shit twice in the same paragraph.

I think the precept is pretty good, but feel that you need to go for a finish in chapter three. I dont think its got the legs for a multi parter.

I dont think it warrants a btb as the wife is obviously so dim as to being claasified as mentally inept. But I think Brian definitely has a sticky end heading his way.

... carvohi might tell you to slow down but I say that you need to speed things up. If you have plans for Tony and that bitch to reconcile, the bad light that you just painted her in will only fester into hatred for her by the commenters. I just read a few comments so it may be too late to vindicate Selene, anyway. Just try to wrap up this mess of a story PDQ, will you?

You're writing is good, but this chapter was a bit of a letdown. It kind of stalled as she went on about how fab she is (looks fade, babe). My worry here is that you might be falling into the trap of making the woman look dumb... a common thread in LW.

I mean, she's texting about fucking and she's not smart enough to delete? She seems surprised her texting has become so raw? She doesn't want to do him, but what a bod? She thinks Brian is a self-involved douche, but she's so vain as to love the attention?

In the end she really didn't explain much and perhaps that's the genius of your work... she irritated my ass off.

Looking forward the Chapter Three.

Your doing a great job cant wait to read more.

c

#4 how to prevent her husband from getting an even worse impression about things when he hears the rumors going around her hospital about her flirting with stud boy. Seriously a hospital has to be one of the worst places in the world to try and have a "secret" affair. The only thing that spreads faster than the flu virus in a hospital is gossip

Your first fuck up--MARINES ARE NOT MEDICS. NAVY MEDICS WORK WITH MARINES. The first chapter was good the second chapter SUCKED. You are going down with the ship with this story.

is a lingering doubt in the female protagonist that her husband was "worthy" of her. Or at least hot enough for her.

This is a strong and important story point, if in fact it is developed in the later text.

Kinda reminds me of WWWM, although that almost certainly was entirely different...

I'm looking forward to seeing where the author takes this story - my intuitions of the plot trajectory are not very accurate in general.

Green-something

This chapter seems incomplete?? If javmor79 decide to continue this story he should get to the point sooner rather than later? Also why don't you see if Tony will seek REVENGE or PAYBACK to Brian?????

don't keep us hanging finish it

sans answers that will suffice TK U MLJ LV NV

They are all Navy attached to the Marines.

This still doesn't explain why her reason for not going to his apartment was "My husband would wonder where I am" and not "Because I'm married and would never cheat on my husband."

Oh, yeah, that might finally shut him down and end her stupid game.

I like your writing style and I'm enjoying the story, however, you need to do some fact checking when you want to add detail to your stories. The Marines don't have medics. The Marines use the Navy to supply all medical. A Navy medic attached a Marine unit is called a Corpsman (pronounced core-man). I know it's nit picky, but former marines and corpsmen will read your stories; like me, a former marine, ohh-rah.

That might shut down the game - and she is getting a lot of emotional energy from it, and wants to prolong it as long as possible. I totally get her motivation, and I also think she is deluding herself more than the average "grown up hot chick"; I've met many and they are generally annoying as heck.

Another well written and realistic chapter. Your description of Selena's thought process was so believable and real! Well done!

Why are so many good looking ladies just looking to tease guys. I'm not a he man just a normal nice guy and like all guys we like good looking ladies. It seems if I show an interest the teasing starts. After this chapter I understand more why women tease, but it's not right just cruel and they know it. Fucking Bitches!!

I have read both chapters, now I am curious, how physical did Brian get? and Selene allow? I have read other comments to other stories and agree, heavy petting, groping and anything oral is not considered sex to many. I wonder if this character Selene and Brian feel the same way.

I really enjoy this new author! A nice setup to a good story. Can't wait to see how it turns out.

Marines don't have Medics, that's what Navy Corpman do.

go back to the Why. TK U MLJ LV NV

I was going to point out that the Marines don't have medics of their own but use navy Corpsman but someone beat me to it. I will point out, for future reference, that squids (Marine speak for sailors) are generally held in contempt by Marines, the exception being of course Corpsman. Don't EVER call a Corpsman a squid in front of a Marine unless you desire to end up in sickbay. Corpsmen will wade through hell itself without a moment's hesitation to save the wounded, they truly are the bravest of the brave.

cut some slack here , its a great story from a new Author ,

the Marine/Medic is a big ooooopppsie & its great that its been pointed out

maybe javmor will correct that & respost if it really rubs alot of people wrong.

totaly enthralled by this tale ,

Tony & Selene literally jump off the page & jump up down in your head.

for the anon haters&flamers , stop bitchin & try writing something .

then you might appreciate how dificult it is to mindfuck your readers

xxxhugsxxx

Its obvious her ego getting fed is more important than her marriage. What an egotistical bitch.....having nothing more than eye candy gets old quickly. Find someone real.

How will she?