All Comments on 'Iron Rain Pt. 09'

Well, this story has gone down the tanks. Sometimes, it's just too hard to read and believe what is written. Mixing in technology that has out of this world AI with mysticism about your inner Ki makes no sense. By the way, the guy is an outright man slut, fucking any girl he sees left and right.

That opening paragraph, and many of those which followed, was too long. The sentences run on and on and on. Chop them done to one idea. Communicate one scene or one emotional response to a sentence. Yes these shorter sentences may initialy seem insuficent to the task you intend, but the reader can take it in and see or hear or smell the described action.

Story has become too ... written.

I have rated it 5 stars. In all honesty it is becoming too complex to follow but your story still retains and hold my attention. In fact even fascinates me... I want more. Keep it coming but make it more seamless. Thank You

Your story is to long and to boring to read. It deserves a minus star rather than anything plus. I just couldn't put more time into this loser. It should have ended at least 4 ch. ago. Please no more your just wasting space now. You went from a favorite to a never going to read again.

Still love reading this story! I love the way you keep expanding the idea and can't wait to see whats next. Superb job!

I come to Literotica for sex stories, and there are many types I like. I read novels on my free time and greatly enjoy them. Over the years of reading erotic stories, the one's that I remember the most and like the most are ones like yours. They mix passions, sex, story line, intrigue, sci-fi, even bit's of morality. If one were to ask of all the stories I actually remember over the years of reading erotic stories, only a handful come to mind. All of those that made an impression are long, integrating, in depth, and have a good plot. All are similar in that way to yours. You are creating something lasting, while some others are just one night stands. Many of those complaining have no stamina, imagination, or comprehension. Thank You.

good to me and want more.thanks for your time in writing this story.

This started out as a good story and has become fabulous. Can't wait for the movie, uncensored of course.

Those of us that enjoy this type of writing will continue to read. And those that don't, well it is there loss. Just keep doing what you are doing. There was a series of westens that came out some time ago, that was on the sexual side called Longarm. it is nice to see something like this. Please, please continue.

Keep going, great story!

Perhaps even darker in nature.

Nick seems to have even more enemies than he knew he had and it seems that he can't trust anyone fully.. The history of the order seems to be the answer to knowing whom he can trust, and where he can proceed to.

Very exciting and totally captivating to this reader, and wanting to read the next chapter.

Thanks for the fantastic read.

I have loved reading since I was young, and have read many types of genre. To keep someone interested in a story, it needs things that interest that person. I have found that your story has done more than kept me interested, it has caused me to crave more. To me, that is the indications of not a good story, but a GREAT story. And what you are writing is a GREAT story. Keep up the great work and can not wait to read more...... btw, I am surprised that you haven't thought about trying to get this story published....

' "I will admit that my curiosity is peaked Oswald," '

Um, the word you want is "piqued", and a comma should follow to set apart the addressee.

I Love the story, but some help from a good editor would help; especially with punctuation. Just as I get caught up in the story (amazing storyline, by the way), some bit of messy syntax, aggravated by a lack of clarifying punctuation, breaks the flow. Do please see to having someone review each chapter and point out these bumps in the writing. You would be doing your readers a great service.

You should really have him like get married to his step sister and get her pregnant

I real like the story line but it is getting hard to follow the different tangents. They are needed but the story bounces around within those tangents and is hard to follow.

loving the story, only one comment MORE PLEASE!!

Kat will have to announce "He IS the Kwisatz Haderach!" Between the Silver Dawn and the computer tech, he's getting too omnipotent for the story's own good.

The plot is getting too convoluted, but the sex is good. Still a 5/5 for sheer scope of work.

I've really enjoyed the story so far, but as it becomes more convoluted some of the enjoyment is lost in the effort needed to follow everything.

in Central America it was black{Olmec} then Spanish sold the blacks into slavery, and not mention raping the women. moving most of them north into the Americas then came the french.

Certainly very detailed. It's fantasy and one has to suspend reality.

Yes, a lot of sex but is he beginning to realise and mature with all the responsibility he now has?

Yes, some errors in words and rammatical /punctuation errors, and no doubt a good editor would sort those out. But they're not so bad that they spoil the read.

5 stars.

Cuck again...

About time he found Morrigan