All Comments on 'It Just Happened Ch. 12'

I guess the next chapter will have all four of them jumping each others bones, ow, only one guy seems to be the donor. The other is extraneous.

When i first found this story,only half the chapters were posted. The story grabbed my attention and made me watch for the next chapter. I rate stories on how well they grab my attention and how easy it is to read them. On the easy read scale this story is superior.

Thanks for writing it. Please keep writing.

Jack

The second lesson is that there is a potential for

good in everyone and all acts can be either evil or

good depending on why you do them.

Keep on writing and posting.

Thanks,

Bruce

You can't end it here. This thing has taken on a life of its on. Those two sisters and the mother all talked about the use of of EDs brothers services. Think about the hell Ed brother went through trying to forget about Jen. You and you pen could really fix these two dump ass women. Remember the ex wife. I honestly feel sorry for ED and his brother. PLEASE write more I really want to see this one out to the finish. I don't care if its a happy ending or not. I just want an ending. Car accident for Ed. Both women killed in plane crash. Dog eats baby. I dont know. Something weird happens to the kids, a sink hole maybe. I know thats cold but PLEASE dont end it here. As the black bank robber said in Dirty Harry "I gats ta know".

I got annoyed at the shortness of some of the chapters early on in the series but on the whole i thoroughly enjoyed it, well done

J

I have been waiting to post my comments when your story was complete. You started out great but your ending left me feeling unfulfilled. There were too many loose ends. I waited for 12 days to find out what went down that summer. I will never know. I guess Jen and Ed simply fell in love.

I can't accept the metamorphosis of Ben's character. He went from seeking revenge to a loving brother. I couldn't buy that without him finding out exactly what happened, granted he did exact his revenge. Ed also experienced a transformation. He went from a man who stole his brother's inheritance and his woman to a cuckold who loves his brother and is willing to let him impregnate his wife. Although Ben did it the first time without his permission. I wouldn't turn my back on him if I was Ben. Jen is an enigma; I have no clue as to her motivation. Motherhood? Millie seems to be the only sympathetic character, although for a while she did seem kind of simple.

I did enjoy your story for twelve days. The characters were very interesting and you kept the story interesting with each new element you added. I don't think it deserves a 100 but it certainly deserves more than a 75. Thank you for writing.

Great characters. Good story. But let it be now. Don't do a sequel. They are all too self-consciously trying to measure up to the original. Let it stand as it is, and write something different.

Great series; love your work. Hope you continue to submit. You have a gift.

Please do not leave this unfinished. Does Ben impregnate Jen again? How many other women throw themselves at Ben. In this posting you transformed a group of people that were selfserving and one very vindictive person. They all made monumental changes in the lives that made them all better people. And no you don't need to have dogs eating babies, people getting killed in plane crashes, or any other kind of weird shit to satisfy those readers that seem to embrace the dark side in everything. Again thank you and please add more chapters.

that I can change my vote. I don't know why I didn't give you a higher score before, so I hope this makes up for it.

As much as I was holding my breath, suspending disbelief and crossing my fingers for things to take a reviving turn,

at least towards the end – it just never happened. At the beginning Ben is deeply troubled by the empty label:”it just happened”, and set out to discover the truth about what really happened. Instead, Ben goes through a gradual process of socialization by those who he was supposed to take revenge on…He gradually becomes more and more like them. One major reflection of this process: he too –to use the story’s language – is grazing on both ends of pretty much –every possible subject. Did Ben return to his brother’s home out of necessity, for temporary residence or because he wanted to take revenge at them? Was Ben upset with, or was he grateful to Jen and his brother? Was he satisfied or ashamed for knocking up Jen? Did he love Jen or her striking image sister? Was he proud of his newly found sexual prowess or ashamed of himself? Was he truly going to have sex with___ (fill the name with one of his aspiring lovers),or again regret and not do it for what ever reason he makes up (and bitterly complain about those women who chase him so brazenly…). And so on and so forth Ben goes back and forth with no direction or coherent reasoning. At least I could not create a coherent line between the zip zaps of his decisions and his thinking… <P>

I was not surprised when I found that the story had no closure. First it was one technical ending which had post script longer than some of its previous chapters. And the real ending was just an abrupt break of the writing. It follows, when the implied author could not make up his mind on virtually any issue of substance, and continued to graze on at least two sides of each issue to the end. <P>

Knowing that every author has stronger, as well as weaker works, I will be looking for this author’s other submissions (as well as future ones), hoping for additional great reads (the likes of “Telltale Signs”)…

It is not a great story by any means but it was pretty interesting and kept me hooked. You do write very well, however flesh out your characters more. Why Jen cheated on Ben was left unresloved and so was the question whether Ben would give in to making Jen pregnant again. Whatever happened to Nadine ?

Hoping for a great story from you.

Keep Ed away from Millie, he doesn't have a very good track record. Just because you are breeding his wife doesn't give him rights ti yours, he went that route once.

Thanks for your skill as a writer.

the wishy-washy sugar coatings are pretty hard to take.

Interesting story, but the ending fell flat. I could understand Ben letting her use his sperm, but everyone ok with them doing the old fashioned way...hard to believe, even with the reality of EB. It somehow just did not flow with the rest of the story, and that is what makes an ending work or not.

I just finished "It just happened".

I found it to be well designed with interesting sub-plots and a remarkable ending.

I really enjoyed the multiple irony of "it just happened".

I agree from my own experiance that there is real value in not delivering a well deserved "zinger".

After years of restraint, he's dead now and I have a deep satisfaction that I never gave in to need to hurt him that much.

I'll read some of your other works.

Read this at SOL in 2008. Good story then, good now. Better if a couple of side stories were deleted, and more effort spent on four main character relationship history and development

in the end it just died with a whimper. The original setting I compared to "Sometimes a Great Notion" - a sibling forced to live with a hated - for a good reason - brother.

I should have known better but I had high hopes...oh well...thanks for what we were given

Thanks for sharing.

I started reading around 1AM and could not stop until 7AM ... did not sleep a wink until I finished every single word of your story. I really hate you. =]

Looking forward to read the rest of your works so that I can hate you more.

This was simply horrible.

The epilog was a good contrivance to clear up so many things. When Jen seduced Bed I thought that getting her pregnant was the plan all along - perhaps with Ed's collusion.

Veronica and Beverly's interest in Ben dropped off rather quickly without (IMHO) sufficient explanation or reason. But only a minor point.

At least one on the chapters should have qualified for a Loving Wives category.

The story BEGS for a sequel. A sequel obviously in the LW genre. Many avenues could be uncovered. Did Millie and Ed's fling result in more than dating? Is that why Ed is so unperturbed about letting Ben and Jen have another go at it? There's a possibility that Bruce may reenter the picture and provide a double-adultery along with the already described double-doubles. It could all make a juicy LW tale!

But a good story anyway. Close enough to rate a 5*.

He wimped out in so many ways that no resolution is satisfying. And the obvious Epilogue is beyond your imagination or your desire. In the long run Ben and Jen will become fuck partners as he tries, unsuccessfully, to impregnate her again. Then one day Ben will discover that while he has been fucking Jen, Ed has been fucking Millie. Its only fair, right? The entire family and business will break up, and that will be the end. Ed is a piece of shit and shit always comes out in the end.

It was a light read with some humour and a good storyline. So ....it just happens to be one that I would recommend anyone to read! Even the spelling was pretty good.

Outstanding

Very enjoyable read! I'd like to think everyone lived happily ever after.

Raise your hand if you hate evil, manipulative bitch Jen and are unsatisfied with the lack of retribution.

A really cute story that ended so well. To too long and I saw no spelling or grammatical errors. Well written and entertaining. I liked the length of the chapters which made is an easy and good read.

A good read. I was not happy when Ben started fucking around with Jen after what she did, especially with his brother, Ed, but I didn't see ahead far enough, and didn't catch how important a part Millie would play in all this, then you have Ben breeding Jen, not once, but apparently as long as she wants babies, with Millie's approval, but what happens when Jen is done baby-making, but still wants Ben's cock in her regularly. Will Millie buy into that service agreement or go looking for another stud? You could also add three or four more chapters or a sequel. Now in a sequel, you could have Veronica showing up after a divorce, and really pissing the sisters off with her attempts to get Ben back. Then to make things even better, Nadine shows up, after a bad experience with Max, she's built like a brick shit-house;drop-dead gorgeous, wanting Ben to breed her too. Ed gets killed in a construction accident that was partly of his making, and Ben ends up with a harem and five kids. That isn't the end of it though. All this time, Hannah, Tony's wife has been plotting to get Ben away from Millie, but decids maybe joining the harem is a better idea. Just an idea or two. Well done. Keep writing.

XYZ

If Ben thinks that he and Ed are being honest with each other at some point I'd think he'd have asked Ed if he paid for the tuition *to* get and keep Ben out of the way so he *could* seduce/romance/whatever Jen.

Maybe Ben can forgive him but how can he do that if either Ed *didn't* do that or if Ed did and won't apologize?