It's Gill with a 'G'

"No. We didn't." He thought for a moment. I wasn't going to say anything, as now I realised who had changed the script. Why did Wellman do that? I had my ideas but now was not the time to air them.. I think that Brian had come to the same conclusion, but would have no knowledge of the undercurrents that inspired the changes. Water under the bridge, possibly but it goes to illustrate the cutthroat business we were in.

I had to put some ideas together for Brian, and obviously I couldn't use the copy I had come up with before, even with the changes it would be seen as spoilt goods. It took me about a week of bashing the vocabulary hard, but I was able to put some submissions forward for consideration.

My cousin Jean came to see mum and dad that week. She was much older than me, in her fifties, and was jokingly referred to as the family genealogist. She had been up in her attic at the house she inherited from her parents, and had found an old suitcase full of photos. She had brought the relevant ones with her, and we had a happy evening passing them around. Yes there were the usual embarrassing ones of various members of the family, including me. Then she produced one of my mother. Mum tried hard not to let anyone see it.

"No, give it here. You can't show that to anyone." Dad, Jean and I were laughing. Dad took it first, and told mum he could see how she grew up to be a lovely woman. Then mum looked at it, and of course immediately complained that the photographer had not taken it from the best angle. Then it came to me and I went cold. Mum was eleven in this photo, and it was taken fifty years ago. But the girl that mum was then was the spitting image of Anita. Coincidence? Hardly. Anita had to be my daughter.

I got up, apologising to Jean.

"I have to go and see someone." I don't know if they noticed that I had taken the photo with me. I arrived at Gill's flat not too late in the evening, so I was sure that she wouldn't have gone to bed. I buzzed her flat. After a few minutes her voice asked who it was. There was trepidation in her voice.

"Gill, it's me, Andy."

"Andy? what are you doing here at this time?"

"There is something important I need to discuss. Can I come up, please?"

"Can't it wait till Saturday?"

"No. Gill let me in. I have to speak to you now." The buzzer sounded and I pushed the door open and went up the stairs. Gill had opened her door and peered round it to make sure it was me before opening it completely.

"Do you want some tea, or is this the kind of conversation that will need something stronger?"

"Tea will be fine." She went through to the kitchen and I followed her.

"Anita says that she had a very nice day at Cannon Hill Park, and if Mr. Andy is happy about it, Alton Towers would be nice too."

"I am sure that could be arranged." I replied. She turned from pouring the tea.

"You really don't need to go to that sort of trouble."

"Why not? Any father would do that for his daughter." The tea making stopped dead. Gill stood there silent and immobile for a second or two. Without looking up she said softly.

"You guessed then."

"Not exactly. Let's say I got a big hint when I saw this photo." I handed her the photo of my mum. Gill took it and her eyes opened wide. "That was taken when mum was eleven. It's quite a coincidence isn't it? Too much of a coincidence really. Makes you jump to a conclusion." Gill finished making the tea in silence, handed me a mug and we went through into the living room. She was obviously not going to say anything so I went on. "When were you going to tell me. Gill? Why didn't you let me know. You could have, you know, through the solicitor if you couldn't bring yourself to speak to me. I would have supported her, even if you didn't want me back in your life." I was crying now, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I have a daughter, eight years old, I would have loved to hold her as a baby, but you denied me that. I would have wanted to be there for her as she grew up, took her first steps, said mama and dada for the first time, but you denied me that as well. Why Gill, why?" Gill looked up with terrible guilt straining her face and posture, saw my tears and came quickly over and threw her arms round me, adding her tears to mine. My arms crept around her. It took some time for both of us to regain our composure. I got my handkerchief out, thankfully it was clean, and dried her tears. She then took it from me and dried mine. She sat on the settee next to me, blew her nose, and took a deep breath.

"I couldn't tell you Andy. If I did it would look like I was trying to blackmail you into allowing me back. I did want to come back but I had hurt you enough, I couldn't hurt you any more. I didn't want to live my life knowing I was there on sufferance and every day seeing you hating me. I had sinned, against you and against God's commandment. I had to accept my punishment."

"Gill. That was not your decision to make."

"Possibly. But in the state I was in at the time I doubt that I was thinking logically. Later? Well it was too late to do anything. It came back to haunt me these last few weeks. Seeing you with Anita, how well you treated her, not as the bastard daughter of a man you have every right to loathe. I saw that and felt so guilty. Here was a Man. Big enough to show compassion to a child who was innocent of her mother's guilt. I nearly told you. But again it would seem as if I was forcing you to take me back."

"You're not forcing me. I want you back. I love you Gill. I never stopped loving you. I want you back in the place where you should be, at my side." Gill was quiet, yet there was hope in her attitude, hope mixed with doubt.

"You can't mean that."

"Can't I? Gill I came to see you all those weeks ago, to try and put you behind me, because you had haunted me all these years. But you are not a ghost. Not now. You are the woman, the only woman I have ever loved, and I know I will never find love like this again." This brought a fresh outburst of tears. Through her sobs she wailed plaintively.

"But can you forget what I did?"

"No, Gill. But neither will you. You have explained what happened, and I can understand that, it still hurts when I think about it, but given the choice of having you in my life or allowing that to spoil our lives, I have to say I choose you. I know now that you and I are one, we were always meant to be. I love you." I had something else to say, something that was only half-formed in my mind. "Gill, in many ways we were so naïve. You and I, were brought up to understand the concepts of integrity, truth and loyalty. We lived those concepts and were not aware that others did not. We have both learned now that people are not always what they purport to be, Berryman took advantage of you when you were drunk, and Alex Wellman shafted me, because he thought I had blackmailed him into giving me a rise. That is why if forgiving is necessary, I forgive, as long as you forgive. Forgetting? No we will not forget, and we shouldn't, as it will keep us on guard for the next unscrupulous bastard that comes along."

"I always loved you, Andy. I tried, because I had messed up, I tried to stop loving you, but I couldn't. Then Anita came along, and I found an outlet for all that love." She turned and threw herself into my arms. "Andy, this isn't some game you are playing? You are not going to dump me when you have had your revenge? Do you really mean it?"

"With my body, I thee worship. I can't remember the rest of it, oh yes the bit about with all my worldly goods, Men will remember that bit, but I am sure we can do it all again. No my darling Gill, I am not playing. I love you and I want you to be my wife again." There was this face in front of me. It was red-eyed, blotchy, wet from tears yet carrying the biggest smile I had ever seen apart from one, that was the day we married.

"If that was a proposal, then the answer is yes." She paused and a soft look of love came into her eyes. "Will you stay tonight?"

"No Gill. We aren't married."

"We could stretch a point. In the eyes of some prelates we are. They don't recognise divorce. And I do want to feel your arms around me once more. I have sinned once, but I am sure God will forgive this sin, and it will only be a little sin."

"You are tempting me, I really want to stay, but a cousin of mine has visited, it was she who had the photo, and it would be discourteous if I don't get back." Gill nodded.

"Will you come on Saturday then? I will cook us a meal, and will you stay then. It's not about sex, Andy. I just want to be in your arms, in bed and be loved again."

"Of course I will. And on Sunday we can all go looking for a home, a home for us." A sudden thought struck me. "Does Anita know?"

"No. It may be that we should let it come to her gradually. At eight years old she may have difficulty understanding the horrible things that adults do to each other." She looked happy, her eyes were bright. "Are you sure about a home? I can't help at all."

"Yes you can. When we get our home, just make sure you are there, because without you it will just be a house." I had to leave or I would be in serious trouble with my mum. Gill clung to me and offered her mouth, her lips open for a kiss of love. That was it. I would apologise in the morning to mum, dad and Jean. I couldn't leave Gill now.

"Can I use your phone?"

"Yes." I called Dad and told him that something very important had happened and I would be home in the morning to explain.

"Ok, son. I'll pacify your mum." Gill had listened to my call, with increasing joy. I put the phone down and she took my hand.

"Come to bed, Andy. I need you to hold me, and love me."

Coming to bed was a little more difficult than going to Gill's bedroom. There was only one of those, and Anita slept there. Gill threw the cushions off the settee, and pulled the seat up and towards her. It became a three quarter bed. The addition of pillows and a duvet from the cupboard and it was ready. Gill stood to one side and I to the other. This was no seduction, we both were aware of how important this was. Gill started taking off her clothes, as I did also. She was naked first and slipped into bed, her eyes beseeching me to join her as quickly as possible. Finally I was naked, and she flipped the duvet back and held her arms up.

"Please, Andy." I lay beside her and took her in my arms, flesh clinging to flesh. She shook and gasped, The sensation, so long denied of our bodies together overwhelming us both. Her mouth sought mine and we joined in a kiss. Tongues chased tongues, lips clung and slipped and clung again, legs entwined and hands greedily tasted the body that was so familiar and yet so strange, there was no beginning of me and no end of her, we were us, indivisible. We didn't have intercourse. Anita was sleeping in the next room, and the possibility of her walking in at any moment precluded that. But we connected in a way that gave us great pleasure and warmth.

The light came slowly at six the next morning. Gill was still asleep, clasped to my body in the same way when we had loved each other last night. My stirring woke her, and her first thought was to tighten her arms, drawing the bond closer still. I kissed her brow, that was insufficient for Gill, she raised her mouth asking for mine. I kissed her. Her mouth was redolent of her last meal, as mine would have been, but that could not stop our exchanging tongues and saliva. She drew back and regarded me seriously.

"No regrets?" She asked.

"None." I assured her. "I love you Gill, with my heart, mind and body." She smiled.

"I love you Andy, I knew it when I asked you to kiss me the other week, the feeling that went through me was astounding. I have loved you since you pressed that button, and came and sat beside me. I lost my way, but you came and found me, and are taking me down the right path. You are my man, my protector, my strength, my lover, and my best friend. I don't really deserve you, but you are here and I will fight to keep you here whatever it takes."

"A Gold ring on this finger." I lifted her left hand and found the third finger. "Is all it will take, and I shall make certain that that it is there as soon as possible." We were interrupted by Anita, who had come into the room unnoticed.

"Mummy! Why are you in bed with Mr. Andy." Gill smiled and sat up. "Mummy! You aren't wearing any clothes."

"No, darling. Andy and I love each other, and we are going to get married. When you love someone you don't have to wear clothes when you go to bed. It's nicer that way." Anita gave little thought to the other ramifications of this. Mummy was happy, so she was happy. Anita looked at me. I decided to stay where I was, I didn't want to shock Anita even more.

"Mr. Andy. Does that mean you are going to be my daddy?" I nodded.

"Yes, Anita, if you would like that." She giggled.

"Yes. I would like that. Does this mean we can go to Alton Towers?" Gill laughed. The important things in a child's life are very self-centred.

"Yes, Anita." I replied, trying to keep the smile off my face. "But there are rides there that little girls cannot go on, they are too dangerous. You must promise not to get upset if mummy or I say no."

"Yes Mr. Andy. I will be good." she ran off, telling herself aloud, "I'm going to have a daddy, a real daddy." Immediately the television was turned on in her room. Life is so simple for a child.

Gill suggested that I got up and dress now.

"I liked seeing you walking around naked, but I suspect it may be a shock to Anita." I grinned.

"Yes. I suppose that a naked man could be frightening to an eight year old girl."

"But not to her mother, though." Gill quipped. "You get me all squishy." She leaned in for a kiss.

"Thank you Andy. Thank you for not giving up with me."

"I had no choice. Without you, life was empty."

Chapter seven

There was an angry mother waiting for me when I got home. It doesn't matter how old a child is, an angry mother is a force to be reckoned with.

"Where were you? You just ran out, then phoned to say you wouldn't be back. What was so important that you couldn't show some courtesy to your cousin, not to mention your dad and I. I felt humiliated." I told the truth.

"I was with Gill." Mum's face was a picture.

"Oh no, Andrew. You're not getting together with her again?" That was a question, phrased as an instruction, or perhaps an instruction phrased as a question.

"Yes. Mum. We are getting married again."

"I would have thought you had learned your lesson by now. Have you forgotten what she did?"

"No mum, I haven't. But I have never been able to put her out of my mind. I called to see her a few weeks ago, and I realised that I still loved her, and she still loves me."

"Huh! She will say anything to get you back."

"No mum. She didn't want to talk to me at first. It was me who pushed this."

"Then you're a fool."

"Ok. I am a fool. I thought though that you would want to meet your granddaughter?" Dad came in the room at this point.

"Granddaughter? Did you say granddaughter."

"Yes dad. I have a daughter, and she's eight years old." Mum was cynical still.

"Oh she's clever. First of all she convinces you to take her back, then she palms off her bastard child on you. The bitch!" I got the photo out.

"Yes, Gill has a daughter. I thought it was his at first, but when I saw this photo, mum. I knew that Anita was mine. When you see her you will know without a shadow of doubt." Dad took the photo from me.

"I wondered where that had gone. So when are we going to see Gill and this girl, Anita did you say?"

"When you and mum decide that you can meet her without recrimination." Dad nodded.

"Fair enough." He turned to mum. " Aggie! You and I are going to have a talk. If this is Andrew's choice, so be it. If we have a granddaughter then I don't want your attitude splitting our family."

I had phoned into work telling them I wouldn't be in today, so after a wash and shave, I dressed and went back to see Gill. She had called in sick first thing, after taking Anita to school.

Two hours after leaving, I was back at Gill's flat. We had agreed that I would come back, and the unspoken part of the agreement was that we would go to bed and make love. She had made an attempt to dress as well as she could, but I recognised the dress as one she had bought eighteen months before we split. Were things that bad for her that she couldn't afford a new dress?

"I always liked that dress. You look lovely." I told her as I took her in my arms.

"I'm glad, but I hope I will not be wearing it that much longer. Andy! I want to spend the day in bed with you. Making love and talking as we used to. It is important to me that we find that sort of relationship again." I kissed her then started to unbutton the dress. She smiled.

"Can I help you as well." She caressed the lump that had already started in my trousers.

"I think you have already helped. But you will have to help some more to make it go down." By this time my sweatshirt was over my head, and Gill was unfastening my belt, I had finished unbuttoning her dress, and it fell off her shoulders. She hadn't bothered with underwear. My trousers dropped and Gill pushed down my underpants, freeing my penis. The bed had been made after last night, but not folded back into a settee. We dropped on it, clasping tight to each other's now naked body. Later we would have the refinements, now, I was eager to love Gill and she was eager for that too.

"I'm wet, Andy, so wet. Have me now, please now." She opened her legs and I slid back into the haven of love. Afterwards we lay there basking in the afterglow, breathing hard, sweating and so, so happy.

"Andy, welcome home." I nodded. It was home, that lovely part of her body that she gave and I took. "I nearly said those rude words again. But that's in the past now."

"No Gill. I think we were too reticent in our coupling before. We were innocent, we learned together, but we could never abandon ourselves, and I think we should. Sometimes we were like two academics rather than lovers. I love fucking you, I love having my cock in your pussy. Your cunt is heaven to me." I felt Gill stiffen as I said those words, then she relaxed.

"You're right. We did restrain ourselves. We talked so much about it that we never, as you say, abandoned ourselves." She got up on her elbow and looked me in the eyes. "I loved you fucking me, my cunt thrilled when your cock went in. I want to be on a regular diet now of fucking, sucking and pussy licking. I want to suck your cock, blowing you as often as I can, and swallow all your cum. Is that alright?"

"Gill. It sounds like heaven to me. Now I am going to re-introduce my tongue to a part of you it has missed for a long time." I moved down her body and pushed her legs apart.

"No, you can't. Let me go and clean myself up, you have just cum in me."

"Gill! Lay back and enjoy. I shall." She smiled.

"Yes, Andy."

For the first time in all of our loving, Gill became very vocal as I brought her to orgasm with my lips and tongue. She was very explicit as well.

"Yes, that's it. Suck my clit, harder, harder. Push your tongue into my cunt, oh fuck that's wonderful." I pushed my fingers into her cunt as well. "Agghh, Andy that's marvellous."

When she came, she screamed, calling me a bastard, a wonderful bastard, and many other things, as she shook, held her breath, gasped and shook some more. She was shattered as I worked my way back up her body, taking care to kiss and nibble as I travelled. Her nipples were harder than I had ever seen, and so sensitive that when I nipped one with my lips, she had a mini-orgasm. I lay over her, smiling as she recovered. Her eyes opened and she dragged my mouth down to her lips. I wondered why she was licking all round my mouth, and searching with her tongue the furthermost regions inside my cheeks. She told me she was trying to join with me in tasting our combined emissions.