All Comments on 'Jackie'

What a sweet story! I loved Melanie, she was hilarious and by far my favorite character. Too bad about Robin's leg though, that's rough. Both Charlie and Jackie were very warm and cute together, but I could have done with a little more information about Charlie's life and who he was. All in all though, a good read.

I enjoyed the reality of the story, and how it ended. You did a great job!

Very Touching but in reality for every white man and black woman in "love" you ever see there are 100 black males and white females with two or three welfare rats where baby mama just keeps shelling em out and baby daddy lives off of her kid's welfare checks and the rest of working people support him by buying his dope, wine, and cigarettes. . It's a damned shame but that's the way it is in our society.

This was incredibly well written. I like the recurring characters and their distinctive interactions. Thank you.

This was a very intiguing story, however hard to follow due to the presence of recurring characters who aren't really developed. Interesting that we know a great deal about 'charlie' but the only inside scoop we have on jackie is the rant on her (steroetypical) background. Otherwise good story.

I loved it! ;-)

Well-written, definitely, but often rushed. It was like there were so many people and situations the author wanted to fit in that he couldn't get them in fast enough. Truthfully, I lost most sympathy for Charlie very early on, when it said he didn't want his daughter, Robin. I kind of hoped things would change -- and it did -- but it was so rushed there was no way to enjoy it. Robin's story might be fun, though.

I enjoyed it.

That was sooooo good! The storyline, characters and flow was simply engaging and very entertaining. Much appreciation for the way the N-term was written; have never seen it done that way before and it made the story a much better read.

I've never understood the censorship thing. It was a good story, no doubt. But if you post a story on a site such as this, and still feel the need to censor, then why talk about 'that slant eyed gook' and not be able to type nigger? What exactly are you trying to say here? You can mock gooks, chinks, zipperheads, pakis, and towelheads, but as soon as that minority hits the magic "N" word it's time to bust out the censor tape. If you are afraid of the words because you think some sensative soul might be offended, on an 'adult' website were one would assume that people are at least half way intelligent (haha)and will realise that you are not speaking from your heart, then think about changing hobbies. Or grow thicker skin. Your characters were being offensive by their nature, therefore they can be offensive and get away with it and it won't reflect your personal beliefs. Mostly because 'they' are not 'you'. Remeber kids; too much PC rots the brain!

Thanks. I appreciated the censored n-word and can agree that perhaps the other racial inicidents could have been phrasd in another manner to get the meaning without offend to others. Perhaps something to think on for Gary & Katherube or Robin's stories. Oh by the way....which one is next? lol Just thought I'd ask =-) :akerirl

i enjoyed this story thank you

Its good to read a great story that transcend racial-and discrimination-and make it a human story about love between two people with unique cultural background.Congratulations.

I really enjoyed the setting of your story, the time and location provided a perfect back drop. I especially liked how Robin found redemption; very moving.

this was a good and well written story about love and second chances. the story flowed perfectly. i like it very much

and say i love this story.

A wonderful story with great characters. Truly enjoyable!

Very sweet and nicely written.

see, closure! :) a sweet & cute read!

Felt kind of rushed at some parts thought there should be more

I really enjoyed it and look forward to continuing reading more. Thank you!

Totally talentless and disconnected drivel which is very hard to read. As if written by a foreigner with thesaurus open. This is no way to create a story ! 1* !!

I can see what JimBob44 was attempting to do. Thing is, he doesn't have the writing chops to pull it off. Insufficient descriptions, too little attention to the sex (what there is of it), no character development at all, no tension, and the conflicts were not even explored, much less developed. It is more an outline than a story. To call it disappointing is to be polite.

I liked the tale, it was a bit rushed, but likable. I totally got how each characters were. I also understand how other commenters felt.

So many writers on Lit use various skills or even strategies to bring a story to life. I can't tell you how many avid readers I have advised to check out online stories like Lit and ValentChamber.

Charles/Charlie I got completely. The author did not need to use 3 pages or a chapter to give readers the goods on him. He was a guy that got caught up with fake women. He learned to see a spirit first. As for Jackie, it's obvious, she is a free-spirit or maybe it was just that era. I can see what was written and form a clear and consistent idea of how all the main characters (the secondary characters from the diner were somewhat unnecessary or vague) interacted in the story. And yes, the story was rushed.

Another good one. It's also a tale of interracial love that crosses the old lines and erases them. I like that. Good job, JimBob.

yeah made me cry.

What can I say? I loved it! I mean, I would like to know what happened to old stankin' ass Antoine, but I loved it!

This was unexpected and beautiful.

Wish it was longer and dove into each character in more detail. Not overly sexual just a simple sweet love story. Charlie and Jackie deserve each other. Thanks for sharing.

It was a real good story,at my time in my life I like nice endings,,,It was a real good read,enjoyed it,,,

Take care and God Bless,,,

Loved the story.

I kind of feel bad for Antoine, why is he being treated this way? Such a cute story otherwise.