All Comments on 'Jealous E: Elise'

2 stars, no conclusion

Is there a second part to this? It seems unresolved.

Sigh, another story without an ending.

A leg and arm were held immobile so she could move them, ???????

Just wow. Elise literally went nuts when she became “hot” after losing the weight.

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Would have liked to have seen Elwood have a talk with Elise after the nightclub scene where he confronted Elise about that “open marriage” crap she was playing. Maybe…just maybe….forcing her to confront her desire for “just sex” might have woken her up. Maybe.

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But probably not. She literally thought she could have her husband AND fuck around. The Martian Slut Ray…administered while she was recovering from her injuries…claimed another victim.

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4 ****

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Good story and hopefully more to go.

This reads more like the outline of a story. For storyline I give you 4. For writing and fleshing out of the story, 2. Result is a disappointing 3.

Ugh. Please stop this drivel. This is utter nonsense.

This one. Makes everyone look like rednecks.

Another decent story, but like a lot of other offerings these last few weeks, it ends too abruptly.. are you practicing writing flash stories?

Too many conflicting/diverging plot lines to really get into the story. Maybe a part 2 can pull it all together so I'm not as confused as a reader? The narration was a little simplistic as well - 3*

Pretty good story, but Elise's complete character change after the accident seemed forced to me to make your plot work.

Gee...lots of drama.

ending was too quick. It needed another thousand words.

Not bad but u just cut off the end with no sort of real conclusion

I love how so so surious and critical the powerful anonymous commenters are.

This was a good story. You did a good job. It's worthy of a follow up or continuation.

And by all means... keep writing .

If you start a fucking story, FINISH IT!!! Even if it's an epilogue. And really dumbass characters aren't funny, just pathetic.

That was a redneck train wreck

Unfinished. Can’t give more than 3*s. I know these stories are meant to be short but this one needs a second chapter.

How dare that bitch yell at anyone about stealing her husband while she's the company windsock. The sheer audacity is alarming

Good premise but turns into “Groundhog Day” with everything repeating. Then it stops without an ending.

Apparently you intended to cast Elise as a mentally disturbed woman whom the mental problems manifest after the car wreck ? If that’s the case you were pretty successful. But as has been mentioned before , this isn’t a finished story , it needs a second chapter to conclude it . You made it interesting enough, in an odd way , that it holds an interest to some of your readers to warrant a grand finale . Otherwise it simply leaves too many open ends that lead to too many questions . This story is decent enough to include an ending . Please consider writing one . I’d have given it 4 stars but as it sits its only worth 2 or 3 , yet I’m not going to rate it at all unless you finish it !

Elise is obviously just plan nuts. Divorce is obvious. However Elwood fucking Angela, to me, makes him less of a victim but rather going along with her idea of an open marriage. It hurts his argument in the divorce as she can point out they both were unfaithful doesn’t matter she went first he accepted it and went along with Angela.

where the rest, did the bitch get jail time, killed by Angela or what

FTDS

Well, it seems you have caught the same virus that seems to affect a lot of authors here.....WHERE IS THE FUCKING ENDING!!!!

A good start to an interesting story that ends in the middle? Why don't you finish the story?

FTDS...Finish The Damn Story!

A really good story that you cut off without an ending.

Thanks for the heads up commenters! No sense reading it if there isn't an ending, right?

It was good but it stopped way to short I would like to know about the devorce and when she realized just how bad she messed up.

Plus I want to know about the relationship between her friend and her soon to be ex.

I mean this story has the potential to be so much more.

Agree with other comments. Finish the story and I’ll give you a better review.

a generous 3* this was a very hard read.

Good start, but where's the ending?

needs, is crying for desperately wants an ending. Puhlease end this story. LP

I agree with a number of comments. Finish the Damned story. Boy I wish FTDS was still around.

I only gave 3* as it is an unfinished story!

QuickMagazine gives the third "Jealous E" tale a 4. Greenday0418 called it - this begs for more. I'd like to have seen Elwood marrying Angela, and them adding some more children to their happy home. Also, it wouldn't hurt if Elise had picked up something nasty. Realism, and all.

Many typos. Elwood seems a bit strange, putting up with her rage and blatant cheating.

........that's it?

Does this happen in some foreign country? No one talks like this in America. No one acts like this in the United States.

ZK

He grabbed a handful of Elise's hair and drug her backward breaking the throat hold that she had on Angela.

I would have thought that dragging her away would've been sufficient but no, apparently he had to DRUG her too!

Seriously fucked-up misuse of the English Language THROUGHOUT the whole of this story- makes it an arduous read!

Dick,you must not get around much. I can’t be the only Southern boy around who grew up thinking the past tense of drag was drug. Many a good ol boy’s lady friend done drug his drunk rear end out the bar on Saturday night. I’ve heard folks from New England, New York and Jersey, and Minnesota talk, so I know we ain’t the only ones talking funny.

Great ending... Of a chapter. Not of the entire story though.

Needs a Finish.