All Comments on 'Jealous E: Evan'

Sad story The crazy man will soon be in prison with Bubba as his love mate

Learn to spell, learn basic grammar. Edit. Decent plot line but so many structural mistakes marred the reading.

I like your idea, but your presentation was a little rough.

She got what she deserved

That might just be the worst story I have ever read on this site.

Doesn’t make sense

2 stars

Perfect

vindictive asshole should just divorce her. jealous anger is not a reason for violence.

They say that it is easier to get forgiveness than permission. But not always!

4

'What to do.about Belinda perplexed Evan. If he lets her go, without punishment of some sort, she will see it as a weakness, and probably plan to cheat again at some point in the future.' How came this question even up? Even if he doesnt kill her or whatever, why would she stay married to him after that night?

Poorly written, juvenile regenge porn.

Couldn't finish, far too over the top and too violent.

"The clerk responded that he wouldn't evade other's privacy"

It's INVADE, evade is to avoid.

"I understand. I'm willing to beet it's the room"

BET, not beet, do you bother to edit?

Finally, an MC that isn't a true follower of Ghandi! It is soooo boring to read of cucks and wimps, spineless creatures masquerading as men. At last, a husband that's as mad as Hell and not going to take it anymore. Revenge is sweet and brutal.

Deep and dark indeed. Well done.

Should have gone with Plan A, and put them both in the concrete!

Well done. Could use some editing to correct some typos, misspellings, and grammar.

A bit choppy.

"Belinda felt that she deserved to date other men since she had given Evan more than twenty years of monogamy." - Not that he wants to, but does she think that he also deserves to date other women?

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"he wouldn't evade other's privacy" = INVADE!

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"When the man smirked at Evan" - Um, he's just got the shot beaten out of him and is restrained, I don't thinknhe's going to be smirking at anyone.

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"So, you'll suck dick and swallow for your boyfriend." - FWIW, he didn't say that she swallowed, just that he came in her mouth.

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"she took it that he was her submissive because he let her always get her way," - Just because he lets her have her way, either because he doesn't really, or he wants her happy, or whatever, that doesn't mean he's her submissive.

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"Darkness surrounds the man" - Tense! This whole paragraph is written in present tense, it should be past tense.

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"she would either have to clean it up or be exercised." - "Exercised?" Do you mean executed?

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Where was the motel clerk while he was in the room?

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Very poor. Needs editing, though not sure how much it would help.

I'd call this more sick than dark.

I gave it only 3 stars because I think his initial plan was cleaner and better. He will be caught for the way he screwed this plan up. The lover and the motel clerk are two too many loose ends. Also he has to worry about the always present cameras and cell phones. Loved the revenge plot but the devil is always in the details.

2

A man that has to use violence to keep his woman is no man.

She wasn't happy with her horrible affairs, she had to let her husband know about them. Had to rub his nose in it.

So as brutal and over-the-top the ending is, it's reasonable and possible. Human trafficking is evil, but does exist in large numbers. Now she gets to fuck other men, and he gets to keep her earnings. Win-win. Maybe he'll even be able to date a woman with a little bit of value in her. After all, he's doubled his income. He can even send her the occasional video for her to enjoy. She seems to get off on cuck stuff, maybe she'll enjoy watching women half her age riding her husband.

‘Loving wives’ is NOT the same as abused wives, just so you know the difference. Yes, in this case she was wrong and IF he could not abide that, divorce is the answer.

Awful. Disjointed. A waste of time.

Love it.

Spelling errors evident, like using confused instead of confessed, made reading a story which could have been good hard reading making it average. Too many writers these days don't seem to care much about what makes a story and sticks in poor grammer

dumb fantasy,,... beating the man she was with was one thing. But you forgot the clerk at the motel would know who he was. plus if she called him,surely she called their son. to many loopholes to make a good story.

Jesus Christ.

dark, yes, but well written

Man! When you go for BTB you don’t do it halfway. However, I can’t see more than a 3 out of this one—it’s just too unbelievable. When he left lover boy in the hole, he had to know his name would be given to the cops and even in the screwed up world, that is ours today, they’d be on him like white on rice.

Still, I salute you for thinking out of the box and putting your thoughts out there for us to bitch about. Thanks cd

I’ll try to be constructive.

Get an editor.

Work on your anger issues.

unsurprisingly illiterate AND unedited - go figure

"Vengeance is mine," saith The Lord ( Deuteronomy 32:35)

Very dark 🕶️

Really poorly written in every aspect. Too many ridiculous points to cover. Is English really the authors first language?

in addition to the comments below, you also got into 'very confusing' territory with some typos, omitted words and confusing 'who did what to whom' moments on page 2. had to go back and read some paragraphs repeatedly to be sure of what you intended to show happening. I get the BTB crowd will like it regardless, but even if you didn't go to some extremes, the writing could be far more clear.

Not sure what the fuck this was, but a legible, coherent story it was not.

I HAD to give this a 2 star rating. The story, beatings & lying to the police (didn't remember that the guy in the hotel opened the room for him?) makes this unbelievable. Going to entomb his wife & lover, with only the son's phone call saving them? There could've been more to the story for depth, but in many ways, I'm glad there wasn't. Lastly, the letter telling her hubby that she feels she deserves dating/ having sex with other guys. Again, even a little history/ depth/ dialogue - what have you, would've been better than what is. Bob

This reads like a middle-schooler's fantasy how they perceive a "real man" would act. Not interesting, poorly written.

The comment about the son does not go well with the planning you put into the story.I would like to think in your life he wpuld have told the son what had occurred with her lover and let the son make his choice. Great BTB story though. Too many natsatrs but thi si your story, short buy very SHOCKING

Not believable! and that is a major error...2*

ARS you need help!!!

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

The writing was passable re style, composition, etc.

The plot illogical and full of holes for consistency and coverage of all the loose ends.

I guess the goal was to present the worst possible outcomes for the two cheaters--but the philandering husband escaped with only some bruises and a (possible) divorce. In a totally out-of-proportion woman-hating pattern ONLY the wife faced a hopeless future as a drugged-out prostitute with no chance of anything but a slow descent into a life of unending misery.

You think she wouldn't get a customer to call her son as well as her (still) husband for help?

I wonder how his greatly-loved son felt about that....

Sorry. Not a story I'd recommend to anyone. My bad.

MLJ

Does this fall under the BTB category lol - thanks for the short diversion into the mind of a very, very angry man living in an area of the Country with lax law enforcement!

It was one long, ham-handed cliché. No feeling, no character development. Just words strung together. A generous 2**

Oh...man. The holes in this story leak like a soup sandwich. Not long enough to even feel like a story. I'm not voting on it. Not your usual.

@ phill1c... I don't think he kept her. Sounds more like like his wife gave him lemons, so he's making her make the lemonade for him.

Five ⭐️ for one simple reason. Once he got the real story out of dear Belinda he took decisive action and "situated" her in a more fitting line of work. I would like to see follow up 750 word stories for each of the other three co-conspirators Belinda had. His ex-best friend, the Army officer, and the single guy from church. Surely evan can come up with a plan for them?

I don't know how you considered this a Loving Wife story. Your methods are crude and sadistic. Is this the manner in which you would react if your wife cheated? Is so, you need help.

It was a little over the top but I liked the idea

Numerous plot holes and poor writing skills combine to make for a most unsatisfactory story. 1* plus 1* for at least making an effort. 2* total.

Harsh.. Be careful who you piss off you never know how they will react

If you are going to write this crap, at least make it believable. This was so far off the deep end it was laughable.

so, your wife left you and you became a depressed, pathetic man who thinks writing this kind of story will some how make you feel better. Sorry, but she left you for a reason. Its because you are pathetic. You can always tell how much of a loser an author is by how much of a badass they write their character.

well, that sucked

Boy that was about as stupid of a story as I have ever seen on here.

There was a time when an author could write a bit of a revenge story and it actually be realistic. Now it seems like all these guys due is try to find the most over the top way to write about this. Its sad how low these have sunk.

Read it all. One of the worst stories on here. Just move on arsehole.

This is an erotic story site, not a wacko revenge story site.

Despite the many loopholes and grammatical mistakes I’m going to give you a C+. , but only because you definitely went outside the box with originality .

Dark as hell but ...........

This is a good solid story and the BTB is a winner. However, there are really too many typos to forgive. They typos break the flow of the story, and the total disassociation with reality and such make it go from a 5* to a 2* story. Take more interest in your stories. Thanks for your effort.

It used to be that the ultimate penalty commenters suggested for adulterous wives in LW stories was to be shipped off to a Venezuelan whorehouse. Why has nobody suggested that yet?

PB

This did not make sense

Screaming and shouting and no police inside five minutes? Young man. Oticing gooves go on over hands not thinking accessory to a crime? Hmm

What do you want?,

Most I ever hear is BTB, kill the bitch, kill the bastard, and then it happens, and you all turn to snowflakes.

Make up your minds, so the writers know what to write or not to write.

I hate cheaters BUT I think he went just a little over the top

Dark.

What the husband did was so unnecessary.

Dump her and find a younger woman.

In a few years that ex-wife would be buying a cat or two.

Far too many writing errors, which detracted from a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. I can’t believe that some readers liked the story and felt that the MC was a “real man.” That should give the author hope that future stories will have a readership base. I, for one, will take a hard pass.

Hes a real man and tried to stop the sh-t before it happened.

What bothers me is when an author stops allowing his readers to comment about his or her storys. We have a author who comments on others stories but will allow readers to comment on his stories or should or should i say fetishists or even too send him a private email.

Thanks for writing stories that real men find interesting. With predictable outcomes.

Stupid husband! Needs to be in a psyche ward for life! She is not ur property or slave! If u feel she cheated on you divorce her! Stupid story ..stupid writer! Correct pseudonym btw!!ur writing stinks!!

Forced Prostitution is never good. And when he accepted her addiction to drugs because of it, he lost all sympathy.

What a shit story. Seems you really need a shrink for being able to have such fantasies.

Look, I can totally understand that, in some circumstances, revenge murder can be on the table, but sick shit like this is something else altogether.

Still, like others have said, at least the author has, for now, enough balls to allow comments. That's still pretty commendable, considering how chickenshit the writers have become.

Suitable recompense for cheaters, the MC obviously has serious mob connections

A bit too dark I think

Should have buried them both in concrete

@anonymous, about 6 months ago: Really? You're going to call out writers in Loving Wives for not accepting comments? This category is notorious for it's high volume of vicious, biting, and personal attacks in the comments! I thank them for continuing to post stories here.

Dark as fuck. Just the way it should be.