by JukeboxEMCSA
This story would have been far better if Jessie and Mary had been able to escape Lars' plan via some fatal flaw in his "genius" planning. As it was, it read a bit like a textbook account of some historical events rather than a story with any real tension. The process description of the memory modifications was very well done, but there was no drama to the story, no uncertainty, no real reason to give a damn at the end.
Sorry dude, but only three stars for now.
Not what I expected, but still a really good read. 4 stars mate.
Finally the genius guy gets the genius girl, instead of her going off with the football jock and wasting her life.
This is a brilliantly tragic story. It implies everything we need to know, while still leaving you wondering—are they better off? Is Jessie better off? Would Jessie and Mary have worked out?
Wonderfully done, JBEMCSA. This is one of my favorites.
Seriously, where do your ideas come from? Your writing is so good and you are an incredibly tallented storyteller. I love your straight stories. You know just how to make me tingle. Thank you.