All Comments on 'Jim Sees Dead People! Ch. 05'

Just read the five current parts in one sling through and I have to say it was an interesting read, something that feels slightly in the vein of path of the necromancer. Not as sweeping or involved as that tale was and had the potential to be, still a damn good read and something I'm lookin forward to seeing more of.

5/5 for all 5 parts so far.

Great story so far. But "Path of the Necromancer" was more my speed.

The whole Light Energy thing was so broken, and it felt somewhat like a simplified not as "gritty Path of the Necromancer" to be honest. That said it was a fun read, and as I posted earlier, I dig the 'shit out of Jim's humor. Which by extension is your humor so thanks for that.

~Harlequin

Quote "her pot released her juices" Endquote.

She's got a pot? lol What does she cook in it? lol again

I would be way happier with these stories if we called a spade, a spade. It's not a pole, it's a cock. Her slippery walls, honey pot etc is a vagina or cunt or pussy. Women do not mewl, kittens mewl, women moan! And how on earth (or in the afterlife) does a ghost manage to shave her pussy and where does she get a razor blade from to do the shaving with?

Having said that I am.enjoying your stories, exactly the right amount of sex and story for me and most of the plots are surprising. I take my hat off to your inventiveness and storytelling abilities. 😀 But a pot? Really? Hahaha!

I’m loving this story and looking forward to reading more of your stories especially the current stories.

You wrote: "You were going to slow,"

As written, the sentence communicates the subject, 'you', intended to reduce the speed of whatever action they were doing. In the context of the paragraph, it is obvious that is not what you intended to communicate.

The purpose, the sole purpose of the written word is to communicate thoughts, ideas or other information. If any written words fail to accurately communicate the writer's intention, they have failed as a writer. It is really that basic.

For the lack of a single character, 'o', the sentence fails to accomplish it's fundamental goal, to communicate a concept.

The fix is to write the sentence as, 'You were going too slow,'. As written, the sentence means the subject is proceeding less than fast enough in whatever action it had taken.

Using 'to', imstead of 'too' may be either a simple oversight/typo, or it may be an incorrect choice. Thorough proofreading solves the first scenario, a simple mental exercise can help make e correct decision.

When faced with the decision of 'to' or 'too', look at the sentence, and decide if the 'to/too' is directing or indicating an action to be taken by the subject of the sentence. In this case, 'to' is the preposition in a prepositional phrase. In this case, 'to' is a pointer, or directing word, typically indicating an action verb to follow.

For example, '...to turn right.' or 'to go up th stairs.' or 'to mourn a loss.' Or a more complex sentence, 'were going to slow (down/quickly/abruptly)'.

'To' points to an action.

'Too', on the other hand is more. The easy way to remember is it has more 'o's'. Using 'too' indicates a previous action, or an intended action should be/will be done in a larger quantity/intensity than previously stated.

'Too' typically modifies an adjective or adverb. IE: 'Too quickly/much/greatly.' or 'Too soon/low/intensely. It is used to communicate excess or additional action.

Hope this 'nickel lecture' on the concept of "To vs Too in Written Language" helps you or someone to choose correctly, instead of poorly, too often. and to eventually, with practice, and thought, nail the correct choice every time.

GeoD