All Comments on 'Jim Sees Dead People! Ch. 09-10'

You had a nice story, but you fucked it up...looks like u were boored with the story.

you forgot child #3

Amazing superb, loved it.

And to the previous comment it technically could have finished before the third child (with Stephanie) was conceived.

Just finished series. Have you thought to make it a BOOK?

Awesome story. Would really like to read about the next generation. Write more! ;)

After reading Jezebel's Tale and this one, I have to say I like this one more. An open ending with this one, but more satisfying.

What do you think about doing a continuation of this after you finish your current work in progress?

Agreed with Anonymous 1, and lmao at the user asking this to be made into a book, omg... You had a story with great potential and basically ruined it, which is a shame since you obviously have the talent to have written it better. You seem to do ok at the start but struggle on the follow through, and don't even get me started on the sad attempt at a sequel, ugh... There wasn't enough drama and challenges for the characters, not enough time developing and learning his powers or knowing more about the others, barely anything on Stephanie who would've added a lot more to future chapters but we got like 2 pages of actual content with her romantically. Basically you're missing way too much for this to be a successful story in the end though it had all the makings of being one, you just didn't follow through on it. The story wasn't long enough, no sequel worth mentioning (we needed more content for Jim and the others, not just fucking, and you seem bored with the story like in some of your others because you ended this one sloppily and quickly switched to the children in the joke of a sequel). Story potential: 5 star all day, written result: meh, maybe a 3 star at best, such a shame. P.S. on a personal peeve note, overuse of "honey pot" made me facepalm several times, you seem obsessed with the term though to each their own I suppose. That one while slightly annoying to me, didn't factor into my rating of the story, I could still enjoy the read despite it but the other negatives outweighed the positives. You have talent but you still need work, my favorite story of yours was Flame of Cytheria :) Anyway sorry for the long rant that was fairly negative, I know you probably don't like hearing it but just saying it how I see it as a reader and fan of good stories. Instead of taking this negatively I honestly hope you can take this and learn from it to write better in the future, I just try to be an honest person and not sugarcoat my words. I didn't hate the story, I just hated what it was missing, what it could've been which is why I bothered ranting at all, believe it or not I don't comment that often so it's saying something I took the time to here. Anyway keep up the good work.

enjoyed YOUR story keep going

anon instead of whining write your on story and make it like you want.

bitching is easier than doing

Paps

i so hope you write more as i cant wait to read it.