All Comments on 'jo4daddy Ch. 02'

While I will be among the first to admit that this selection is indeed written superbly on a technical level (barring a very few small and minor typos), the story seems to lack any real tension or intrigue. I'd suggest ramping up the excitement factor just a touch to keep it interesting. And I also think that more direct interaction with Jo would go a long way towards humanizing her a bit more- right now she's just this cardboard cut-out of a person and it's hard to feel anything for or about her. The same can be said for the narrarator, too, actually. Just food for thought.

god, I love your stories. you have me hooked on this one...please write faster! ;)

First introduction to Jo, first paragraph: she steps out of the car, I gave her a hug "and a few moments later we were taking her laundry down to the basement." I just don't get it...

You all do realize this is just chapter two right? Let the man tell his story and grow some patience to be able to wait for more chapters I personally love the build up. Keep it up :)