All Comments on 'Julie Covington McGill'

Of course I am biased in my views but it is still a very well written story. There was actually very little editing to do as it already flowed wonderfully. Loved the little details like how they were both dog lovers and other descriptive narratives. Well deserved of a 5 star rating regardless of how biased I am and I think you have a good writing career in front of you.

Thanks Julie

I wish more people would leave a comment or send feedback, so I know what to do better next time.

Reading this story got my Friday "off" to a good start. The beginning suggested one angle and the end took it to a totally different place. Well done. Please keep writing. I look forward to you next submissions. This story has a future as do you.

Off to a great start. Keep writing.

Great story Miss Albany. Very well written and I agree the story had a great twist. I thought I had things figured out and then boom, the story went a different way. I love your naughty mind as well as your writing. You are a good writer. Good writers stories are fun to read and this was a fun story to read. Thank you for sharing. I hope we are able to read more of your works soon.

Very nice first story. Like others, I'm looking forward to where this goes!

Thank you AlbanyGirl for a most interesting story. I thought it developed well and logically. I also appreciated the little sideline details that encouraged me to want to know more about your characters. (Although I do think the tendency in stories to mention breast size to justify attractiveness is being overdone in Lit stories, just as mentioning penis size has reached the point of ridiculousness.)

So anyhow, are your characters going to do anything now they have reached this point? Is this something Julie does with all her newly hired employees? Do she and her husband take the out-of-office relationships with employees further than fantasising and making use of her panties? So many possibilities.

Once again, congratulations on a great start.

Lue

Well, your phrase "we work very hard here at S&M" got that reaction from me.

5*

Good work Anonymous.

I threw that in there as a little joke, wondering if anyone would pick up on it!

Nice story. Congrats on getting the gumption up to post. Didn't expect the reveal at the end, but it was nice. (Am now wondering if our young protagonist will ever get invited to join... but that of course, is a another story)

You asked for helpful feedback, so just one thing I spotted.

Potential typo?

"she and her mom had several weeks to hunt for an apartment in Poughkeepsie furnish and decorate it. "

Perhaps needs comma, but even with that its a bit awkward. I'ld probably drop the furnish and decorate all together, or make it part of a new sentence and give more detail.

The only actual "Writing" thing I noticed was the two description blocks for the women involved- both quoting height, bra size, clothes, relatively close together. Having them cover similar details in a similar format close together makes them stick out more, feel almost formulaic. Is there some way to spread these details around? Or focus on different details for each lady?

It's tricky, because we DO want pretty clear pictures of the people involved (in any story, but in this genre in particular), and I don't exactly have better solutions, but having those paragraphs close together tends to remind we are reading a story- slight break in immersion.

Anyway- have fun, keep writing.

heBetterNamesWereTaken - first, that's a fucking funny screen name. Second, thank you for taking the time to point out areas where the story could have flowed better. I know that things like that are 'nails on a blackboard' to some people, and it does tend to distract from the mood that the words on the page is creating. That all being said, I read you comment AFTER submitting Chapter 2 of this story for publishing, so don't think I ignored your feedback, if you see similar gaffes in the second installment.

I loved the pic and can't wait for the next chapter!

What a pleasant switch at the end. It opens this story up to all kinds of sex and fun. I have no critical comments. Being from the Poughkeepsie area (Rhinebeck) I couldn't picture the gated community, but then again I moved away 40 years ago, so things have changed. I'm anxiously awaiting the next installment. thanks for a really fun read, and keep up the good work!

But I still gave you 5 stars, Michelle. Your editor could have done a better job. But, having been an editor professionally for a time, I understand how difficult it is to catch everything. I admit I'm surprised to see from your bio that you are bi. The last time I heard from you, you were just into older (but not as old as I am) men. Therefore, I understand your story's heroine's interest in J.J. and his cock. You have obviously graduated from UA since the last time we communicated. Looking forward to more of your work in the continuation of this tale.

I can't wait to see where this story leads. I hope you have a Chapter 2 soon..

Very good first submission. Going on to the next one now. The Irish brogue adds a nice exotic nuance. Flow and punctuation can be challenging as I am discovering for myself. 5*

If you liked this story, there's a new chapter available on my story page. Enjoy!

I grew up just outside of Albany, so it is really cool having a story with towns and cities I am very familiar with. Also exciting is the story line which has so many ways to go, all of them highly anticipated by me .... Keep up the great work :)

Off to a good start, left me hard and wanting more ;)

You've put a lot of effort into detail, which is great and your dialog is very good. I think, personally, that it would be unusual for the owner of a large regional accounting firm personally interview an associate, but they had to meet somehow.

Really makes me want to read more of your work.

PS: a few typos - nothing too much, but just enough to be noticeable.

Great first story. i love the NY references and the pink bra and thing details. Sounds like you are drawing from life experiences. :)

Good writing. I enjoyed the local references. UAlbany is just a few miles away

Interesting that her boss "borrowed" her panties and came in them.

Sexy

I think I fell a little bit in love with Michelle when she spun in her office chair. Is that weird of me?

This is a very well written story and a very erotic concept on many levels. It certainly warrants a second installment!!! I'm surprised it's your first posting. Well done...

Things I didn't like

1. The people are too perfect, it comes across as wish fulfillment. Where do you take a character who in chapter one is already the richest, cutest, smartest, most successful, prefect marriage, big D cups. It might have been more fun building to that over a few chapters.

2. The storyline is odd. Nothing says accounting professional like stealing your new employee underwear after getting her drunk and wearing it while having your man fuck you silly.

Things I do like.

1. The fact that you got something posted on here. I have 8 stories that are still in rough draft form that one of these years I will finish enough to let others see. It is a hard first step submitting something and having everyone read it and maybe not like it.

2. The backstory for the woman was well done.

Thanks to everyone who has commented.

To Anonymous, I initially wrote this as a stand alone story, so didn't intend to flesh out the characters and plotline over several chapters. However, I fell in love with the characters so I kept writing more chapters, so you can see where I take these "too perfect" people.

So many stories are pattern, that I wanted to through in some zigs and zags, such as the primary and proper boss pretending to be her protege, complete with nicking her panties. I guess she's not so perfect after all!

I'm glad though that there were things you liked.

You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself!

well done it had me standing at attention i can't wait until the next installment.

And it's your very first story too!!!!

You have a real gift my dear.That was a real kinky😉,especially the role play & panty play haha..

And ooh man!! 3 more chapters of this delicious series eh? That's gonna keep me occupied for awhile....

Adding you to my fav. if you don't mind and hopefully more will CUM out of you in the future as well 😍

liked it , i red first the 2 part, would surely like to see more how characters develop and deepen

Masterfully crafted in both content and style.

Very erotic and scary good for a first effort. I look forward to reading the other episodes in your tale.

Wow! I’m glad i found you! I’m looking forward to many hours of pleasure and fun with your dirty little mind ;)

Albany wow great story.looking forward to chatting again soon :-)

I came a bunch to that, thanks. Haha. I’m hoping that’s a true story. Please say yes. niceguyinct2016@gmail.com

This was terrific! So vivid.

Excellent first effort! Well timed, erotic and a great tease!

When will Julie & Michelle hookup? Is Julie’s husband going to join a three way. I will be looking forward for the next chapter. Don’t make me wait too long.

For a first entry into this naughty world of erotica, you definitely nailed it. It's late where I am and I just got off work but you can bet that I'll be reading the next entry as soon as I can.

I wish I could vote... 5 stars all the way. I can’t wait to see where you take this in chapter two.

It amazes me that you were able to fit in decent character development, interesting people, technically wonderful writing and a wonderful sex scene all in that small story. You have a lovely mind.

And a revelation! Much to cum and so well written!

Hi UAlbanyGirl518, First a belated Congratulations on your graduating in 2017.

You really did some fine work here.

But then all good authors, write what they know.

You really blew life into all of your characters. Made me care about them.

Nice touch adding the dog. So few do.

Looking forward to more from these three, if you're up for it.

Thank You.

I'm not surprised often by story twists, but I did not see the role play coming. I appreciate the unexpected, and the strong characterization. I could actually hear the dialogue. Nicely done, I'll be catching up on the rest of your work.

Oh my! What an erotic story. The thought of a couple role-playing about me sends shivers through my body, I already feel like I know Michelle, and I love her.

Wonderful....we'll miss your stories.

A fine howdy doody to the company and the boss and her husband. A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.