Jumping to Conclusions

"Damn it Jill! There is only one fucking way he could know about that, he had to have seen it. Tell me the truth, what happened?"

"I don't know! Honest, you have to believe me. I never let him touch me, I never would."

"Get in the fucking car!" I told her. She meekly went around and got in, but her face had now taken a set. She sat there looking out the window all the way home.

No protests, no denials, no "I'm sorry." Nothing. Her face was like stone, she wasn't crying. She just sat there, silent.

Jill went into the bathroom the moment we got to the house, not a word.

She was not reacting at all like I would have expected.

I went into the bedroom and started packing a suitcase. Jill came in, stood there with her arms folded across her chest and watched without saying anything.

"So you are leaving, then?" She asked finally.

"What do you expect?"

"I expect you to believe me when I am telling you the truth, Dan." She was now sounding angry. I stopped and looked at her closely.

Her manner was wrong, she was not showing even the slightest sign of guilt?

"Jill, Brent knows about your tattoo. How in the hell could he know about that if he never saw it?" I demanded.

"I don't know. But tell me, why would he even mention it in the first place?"

"He was..uhh.. bragging, he said he could..seduce you." I stammered a little bit.

"So just how does that bring up my tattoo?" She demanded.

"We made a bet."

"What? You made a bet? About that? You BET on if I would cheat on you? With that little weasel?You asshole, you son of a BITCH, so help me God....!" Jill turned and stormed out.

She came right back in a few seconds with her overnight bag.

"God damn you! I am the one who is leaving, I am going to go stay with Mom. This is bullshit, I didn't sleep with your asshole friend!" Jill was yelling now.

I had never heard her swear before, not really. But Brent knew, he did! That meant just one possibility to me.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Is everybody around here lying? What in the FUCK is going on?" I yelled right back at her.

"I don't know, but until you get your head back on straight I am leaving. You can just handle your legal crap yourself. You broke Brent's jaw, and a bunch of his ribs by the way, so he is pretty mad at you."

"Good!" I yelled at her.

"Good!" She yelled right back. Then she was out the door with just that over the shoulder bag.

I heard the Camaro start, ran outside but it was too late, she was gone down the street.

That pissed me off even more, now I was stuck with my old pickup.

+++

"Assault, 2nd degree. Bodily harm adds to it. You can't even claim he asked for it, hell, because of the bet you gave him permission to do your old lady. I would bet you get 18 months, restitution, probably out in 4-6 months."

"Damn, you really fucked him up from this medical report." The lawyer added.

"Good." I muttered.

"Probably not, this guy is going to have thousands in medical bills."

"The guy seduces my wife and I have to pay his fucking medical bills?" I aksed.

"Yep, afraid so. We can try but this doesn't look very good. Anyway, I will need three grand for a retainer, five more if we go to trial."

I wrote him a check, hoping that Jill hadn't cleaned out the account.

+++

As soon as I got home I called her, it went to voicemail. I also called the car phone, it just said not available.

To hell with her, I went into the bathroom to take a shower. When I got out, I reached for a towel, in the process I accidentally bumped the digital clock we had sitting on the counter.

I looked at it, it had stopped, the battery must have gone dead. I picked it up, shook it but nothing. Thinking I would change the battery later, I set it down.

Then it hit me!

Brent had given that to me for my birthday, months before. In fact, he was the one that noticed the old one we had was stopped.

Looking closer, I spotted the tiny hole. I went into the other room, got a screwdriver, flipped the thing open.

It was a camera! A fucking spy camera!

Sitting on our bathroom counter for months?

Brent was over to the house a lot, he used our bathroom. It would be easy for him to take out the little card and replace it.

That dirty little son of a bitch!

Drying myself off and getting dressed, I went in and pulled out our laptop, hooked up the player. It was an older style, it had a tiny little Zio cameramate with a cord that had to be plugged in.

The first few photos were of me, sitting on the toilet just partly in view, getting in and out of the shower.

The next ones were of Jill, dozens of them. Dressed, then nude, also taking a shower. In several of them I could see the tiny little butterfly tattoo!

In a couple of the photos, she was sitting nude on the edge of the tub, one leg hiked up as she was shaving herself.

If that little prick had seen any photos like that, Jill had no secrets from him at all!

One quick call to On Star, I gave them the number and they told me where my car was parked.

I got into my truck, taking the digital clock and laptop with me. At Jill's Mom's house, there sat my Camaro so I knew she was still there.

"Jill!" I was yelling, pounding on the door.

"Go away!" She yelled back through the door.

"Honey? I found out the truth, please! Let me in."

Finally the door opened, she stood there blocking it with her arms folded across her chest.

I must have sounded like an idiot, trying to explain in a jumble of words.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" She asked.

"Let me show you these." I finally told her. She opened the door, let me in.

I sat down and hooked up the laptop, ran through the photos.

"That dirty little bastard!" She said finally.

"Come on, let's go home." I told her, hugging her. She let me, but she didn't hug me back.

"Honey?" I asked.

"No. I told you, you didn't believe me and I told you the truth. I thought you loved me, how could you not believe me? I need some time, I have to think."

With that, she pushed me out the door.

I stood there on the porch for several long minutes in shock. My God, what had I done?

+++

Brent dropped the charges as soon as he was confronted with that evidence. He was careless and managed to get a few shots of himself messing with the camera.

After all of the upset, he had no way to get in and take care of the digital clock camera, which I might never have noticed or even thought about except for the battery running down.

It would not have been enough all by itself, but word got around. Several in our group had gotten one of the little clocks.

Confronted, he folded.

In exchange for his dropping the charges, I dropped what would have been my own.

Brent was a pervert, he loved to set up hidden cameras to spy on people. Dale and Charlene also found one in their own house, as I found out later.

But Jill? I apologized, did everything I could think of. She refused to come home.

"I told you the truth, yet you didn't believe me. You are my husband, yet you believed Brent over me. Even worse, you made that awful bet, like all I am is a piece of meat? I just can't deal with that, I just can't."

I did everything I could think of to make it up to her, she was adamant and would not budge.

One thing I did know about Jill, she was stubborn, once she made a decision she would stick with it come hell or high water.

The end came when a man knocked on the door, handed me a manila envelope.

"You are served." He told me.

I collapsed onto the floor.

+++

I knew that she was terribly hurt, but her reaction seemed to be way out of line for what I had done. So I had been sure Jill would come around, given time.

She didn't.

Even when I protested in court, and the Judge ordered counseling, Jill would not budge.

She insisted that since I had not believed her, there was no way we could ever have a trust in each other like it was before.

When the subject of the bet came up, both Jill and the therapist gave me scathing looks.

There comes a time when it is enough, and a man can give up.

I gave up.

+++

Jill didn't ask for alimony, she kept the Camaro and the house. I got half of the bank account and that was it, it was over.

The circle of friends I had went away, the parties and gatherings were no more. At least, I was not invited anyway.

I went to work, and I went home to the small house I had rented outside of town. The garage began to fill up with garbage bags, piles of clothing were strewn around the house. Nothing was dusted, nothing cleaned.

The landlord never came by, I mailed the rent check to him, that was probably a good thing.

I just could not get up the energy to do anything about that. Beer cans? There must have been a thousand of them strewn here and there, the living room became a hallway.

I did manage to get to work, and do my job, somehow. Then I went home, doing nothing.

I had seen Jill around town a couple of times, once walking into the grocery store. I almost pulled in and ran after her, but managed to not do that.

Once I saw her sitting on the passenger side of a late model Mercedes, a good looking man behind the wheel. She saw me too, her face didn't change expression as they went by.

I sat and cried about that when I got home that night. I now knew she was dating, and I knew what that probably meant.

+++

Then one morning nearly a year later I woke up, managed to drink some water before getting sick.

Who knows what creates a change in a man? But that morning did it. In the fridge I found 5 bottles of beer, I opened them and poured them down the sink.

Then I began to clean up, I made six trips to the dump with my truck, loaded to the hilt. It took me all weekend, but suddenly things looked...normal?

At the tiny store where I bought my beer, a full case every other day, the woman looked down at the fruit juice I set on the counter, and grinned at me.

+++

With my new haircut and business suit, the staff at the office noticed right off the bat.

I went right to work, I had plans of getting my life back on track.

Life has some kind of Kharma, I think so anyway.

One afternoon, I stopped by the gas station, to fill up my old truck.

"Hello, Danny." I heard her say from behind me.

There stood Jill, filling the tank on the Camaro. I hadn't even noticed it when I pulled in.

"Hi." I barely managed, my voice catching in my throat.

"You look good." She told me.

"Thanks. So do you."

We both nodded, stood looking at each other for several seconds, then paid for our fuel and left.

From that moment on, Jill was right back in my head.

When I got to my house, I fixed myself some food, went into the living room. I reached for the phone, wondering if Jill still had the same number.

I guess I started to call and hung up at least a dozen times. I clicked on the TV, scanned the programs, not really seeing any of them.

Bedtime was miserable, it always was. Just a few weeks before, I might have spent the night in my chair like I often did.

I went into the bedroom, stripped the bed and put on fresh. Just as I was starting to go to bed, my phone rang.

"Danny?" It was Jill's voice.

"Danny?" She said my name again when I didn't answer, for a moment there I couldn't.

"I...hello?"

"Can we talk? I mean, sit down and really talk?" She asked.

"Yes, of course. When?"

"Right now." I glanced at my watch, it was nearly 11 PM.

"All right. Where?" I asked.

"Can you come here? To the house?" She asked.

I could and I did, breaking a few traffic laws on the way.

Jill opened the door before I could knock, she showed me to the couch. My house, OUR house? I looked around, it wasn't mush different.

"My Mother passed away a few weeks ago." Were the first words out of her mouth. I hadn't heard, and it was not what I expected.

"I am sorry to hear that." I managed.

"Before she died, right there at the last, she told me I was being silly."

"Silly? Why?"

"Because, she knew I have not been happy. I tried, I really did, but it wasn't working."

"Tried what?" I asked.

"To find...you. She told me that it was what I was doing, going out with...men, trying to find....you."

"Me? But I was right there, at my....?"

"Someone like you, that is what she meant. There isn't anyone." Jill broke into tears.

I thought I knew what she was trying to say, but I didn't answer.

"Honey, I know I didn't believe you, and that stupid stunt I did hurt your feelings. When you told me that Brent was lying, I should have believed you. But I apologized, and you wouldn't accept that?" That came out of me before I could stop it, I had some bitter feelings still mixed in with everything else.

"I know. I am sorry too." Her face was screwed up, she was trying to not cry.

"So, where are we then?" I asked.

"I want to...start over..try?"

"Yes! I want to also." I reached out to hug her but she held up one hand. I wasn't quite getting it.

"Danny, I dated some guys, several in fact." She said.

"Yes, I know. It's OK, I understand."

"I am not sure you do, a couple of them....I let make..love to me." She said.

"I see. Well, we were divorced, so I guess.....?" I began.

"I am sure that you...you probably did the same?" That was a question.

"No. I didn't. I haven't even been out on a date." I told her.

"Really? Do you think you and I..? Can we maybe get past it all?" Jill asked.

"Yes, I think so." Jill slid over and hugged me. I suppose I could say here that we made wild passionate love, we didn't.

I did spend the night, we fell asleep right there on the couch.

I moved in the next day, that took most of a weekend. Sunday afternoon, after everything was put away Jill and I finally did make love.

It was almost like both of us were trying way too hard?

+++

It has been a year now, Jill and I get along fine. Life is not parties, one after the other. Things are OK, I suppose.

But some things are always there, some things a person can't take back. I violated Jill's trust, her reaction was more than I would have expected, but knowing her, I should have.

My wife is no longer as pure as the new fallen snow, if she ever was. I think about our first time, was she then? I have to admit it does enter my thoughts.

She did have lovers during that year and some change we were apart.

Who and how, I don't know. I didn't ask. Were they as good as me, better than me? I admit I do wonder sometimes, but we never talk about that.

But Jill did come back to me, so in my mind they were not. She did say she looked for someone like me, and found none.

It is odd how things can mess up a relationship, and I do have to say things were better before.

But, we are getting there, it's one day at a time.

And some things? They are always there.