All Comments on 'Just the Six of Us Ch. 16'

WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU STOP IN MID ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're defintely trying to cause me a heart attack. The end of this chapter was smoking hot! Cudos to you on a another excellent chapter. You must bring on the next chapter immediately because now I'm a nervous wreck anticipating your next release.

Thanks from miss Silver766.

And Beth is the last. They always say watch out for the quiet ones.

Anyway, take your time. As long as the product is this good, it is worth the wait. I look forward to the upcoming surprises you mention in your author's note.

Well worth the wait, the storyline just grows and grows, nice to see Beth included in the fold at last, for one moment thought it was gonna be one of the friends going into his room, would have changed the status quo ! while awaiting the next chapter it is always good to re-read the previous chapters! keep up the excellent writing, ignore the detractors they obviously can't appreciate the depth of your creation. Simply the best

Jerry in Washington state, USA - I really liked how you built up tension for Beth and Mike finally getting together. I liked how you avoided turning the pajama party into an orgy. I loved the end where it was unknown which female was with Mike for a while. I love Mike and Beth finally getting together. I also liked that you had the various female friends be different body types and personalities. I also enjoyed the hints that it will be very difficult for Mike's sisters to keep their incest secrets safe from their friends and the jealousy the sisters will have to deal with if Mike does have sex with any of their friends. I look forward to the next chapter. I do appreciate your updates on the status of the next chapter and many of your readers do realize that it takes time to write - especially a top quality story such as this with several characters.

i'd like to echo everything jerry said, and priase your incredible grasp of the erotic! So many times there are great stories that aren't very arousing (or terrible stories that manage great sex). Thankfully,we don't have to choose!

hopefully we'll be seeing another installment in a week!

Definitely not how I expected Beth to join the fray as it seems alcohol helps her become aggressive. Thanks for not letting this become an orgy and letting this chapter be about Beth and Mike. Hopefully none of the other guests decide to join Mike in bed so Beth can make up for lost time.

Oh, and take as long as you need for the next chapter. This is some good stuff.

this is getting pretty stupid IF you had been smart you would have had him leave for the night and most of the next day so his sisters would start to worry and really want him and when he came back say he was thinking of going to a different school to get them even more worried and get a better editor there were quite a few goofs

If Mike had left, we wouldn't had that HOT hot tub scene. Well done guys! And which one of the girls rubbed her tits in his face. The pussy licking surprised me too, I LICKED IT... uh, liked it.

Suggestions are fine, most good writers want and use them for the future, but don't try to tell one how something SHOULD have gone. Write one yourself. And would everyone shut up about the editor. Mentalcase keeps telling you he adds to his work, and is going to keep him. I Trust Mentalcase, and I love this story. Keep'em cuming.

Oh, and stupid. You might want to capitalize the first word of your sentence, and use some punctuation (like commas) in the middle, and a period at the end. It tends to shape the sentence, gives it some form and a “sense” of function anyway.

The quality is more important than the quantity. I think most of my fellow readers would agree. I have no problem with the wait. As you have said it will need a few more twists and turns to keep it interesting and realistic. It seems that the green eyed monster may have paid a visit to Beth. Maybe more than the others. Maybe she wanted to get to him before he was tainted by the redhead. And ooops, it appears she is not on birth control.... Oh the questions. If you continue as you are now without going over the top, I predict that this will be the best and probably highest rated story in this category. All those H's can't be wrong. The other story you mentioned, as I remember, had real life conflict and drama. That is probably why people related to it so much. Just a thought, not a criticism. The story is still damn good. I like it. I like it. I like it. Keep it up...

I love the interplay between Mike and the voice in his head. I look at it as the voice belongs to Mike's little head and the arguments between them are representative of the constant battle all men have to fight to avoid letting their little head rule their heart and their big head. Another very good chapter to your story and a heck of a spot to end it too. Will Beth be able to continue to be quiet as this is only her second time and she is obviously going from a virgin who never really thought about sex as important to a borderline nympho for her brother. Will they get caught by one of the friends? Will she end up pregnant? Many good ways to take the story from here, can't wait to see what happens next.

I enjoyed the chapter, and the long-awaited inclusion of Beth. I also love how she's turning out to be the wildest one!!

Don't worry about anyone pressuring you to churn out chapters faster. I much prefer a meatier 4-pager like this to the wimpy 1 to 1.5-page minis that some other authors seem to produce.

Keep up the good work!

Another fantastic chapter. I wasn't expecting Beth in the middle of the night at a party but that's what made it so great. It was well written and utterly amazing. Thanks again. Don't feel pressured to do anything. Everything you do for us is free. If you never release another chapter, we'd still be grateful. Keep on keepin' on.

I love your work and can't wait for the next chapter to come. Take your time and I'll read it when you post it. Glad that Mike and Beth finally got together and that she might be a wild one, but not too wild. Keep writing them.

Thank you for the stories you keep writing. I know it is hard for you to write these stories as fast as youre going. I love them and will devour them as soon as you put them up.

Take as long as you have to in order to work your magic. I'll always be waiting for the next one.

These stories are awesome. Keep up the great work.

As always, I am very pleased with your work; like many others, I find the dynamic between Mike and his “Voice” very fun, and I particularly like how the characters are gaining depth. I also enjoyed the expansion of the cast in this chapter; the just when the interactions between five characters seemed to be approaching some sort of equilibrium, another half dozen are throw in. It seems quite reminiscent of life; just when you think you've got a hold on something, it goes and changes on you. Of course, unlike in life, I'm confident that however it might change, it's going to be a great ride, and I look forward to following it. Thank you again for a great story, and I'll echo others' comments when they say to take as long as you need; great work takes time, and I, for one, am willing to wait for it.

That's the most accurate description I can give about this storyline. Keep up the great work and take all the time you need for each chapter. I would love for each chapter to be posted sooner, but I definitely don't want the quality of your work to suffer, it's well worth the wait. This is one of the best stories I have ever read, and that includes a tremendous amount of non-erotic literature also. Thank you, thank you and thank you... Keep up the GREAT work..

Love the continuation and depth of this story. Looking forward to the next chapters, when you are in a postion to post them.

Thanks

One of the best so far, looking forward to the hijinx of the slumber party girls as the nighttime play continues

I have to tell you, reading your newest chapter is currently one of the highlights of my week. I love the depth of the emotions and the storyline, the way it's deeper that most stuff around here, but not too artsy... go on, and take your time with every chapter!! It's so worth the wait!

This is what u call a perfect story...cant stop myself from checking for updates daily....by the way anyone knows anyother gud stry of a similar theme????

I have to say this is another great chapter. I find myself checking for updates almost everyday. Can't wait for the next one and keep up the good work

This chapter, and this entire story has been nothing short of perfection.

I just wanted to compliment the author on what a magnificent job he has done.

I've been surfing literotica for years, and I can without a doubt say that this is in the top 3, if not the best story I have ever read on here.

Only thing to make it better is more chapters. Keep up the great work, and keep em' coming!

I've got to say that this series has quickly become my favorite series on this site, and that's saying a lot. Like most of the other folks who have commented, I look for updates almost every day. But definitely take your time with each chapter - it's easy to see how much effort has gone into writing these stories. You never fail to satisfy, but you always leave the reader wanting just a little more. Can't wait for the next chapters and I hope you keep this series up for a long time, because it's honestly the best.

This one is great. I just love the series. I can't wait to see how the next twist in the series takes place. I think this is the best series I have read on this site. I will continue reading no matter what the pace (probably rereading LOL)

This is such an awesome story ... I check for updates atleast every 3rd day and can't wait what you have in store beyond the post orgasmic spasms of Beth .... but stopping chapter 16 in the midst of an orgasm Dude that's a 3rd degree torture

Love this story. Love the characters. Love "the voice" in particular, for some reason it reminds me of Butthead from Beavis and Butthead. No idea why its just how I imagine it. I seriously keep waiting for it to go "Dun Dun dundun! Dun dun dun DUNDUN!!" every time he gets some.

This chapter, all I can say is its always (ALWAYS) the quiet ones you have to watch out for...

haha. oh my god please dont stop seriously this is too good ><

keep on writing this story the plot has got me wanting to read about this family more and more...and i like how its not just hard rough fucking and random shit...keep goin with the danni and mike connection i think its great

... what they all said. Keep it going!

Here is what I like about the story...I doesn't start to suck the longer it goes on. I have read a lot of stories on this site that started off awesome, but then they fizzle out. You have maintained a balance between the humor, the erotic, and the character development. I assure you that is rare and appreciated.

I love your series! The cliffhangers, the pace, the characters, and THE VOICE! Outstanding!

The Voice is great. Funny as hell how he fights with it. Is a sweet story series and each sister is different. Makes it more interesting. Eager to see beyond ch. 16. Again, great series.

No more words needed. After he banged all his sisters, what next? Orgy?

Looks like the next chapter might have something to do with breth getting pregnant coz in the last part of this chapter, it didnt mention Mike using any protection.......THIS COULD BE INTERESTING.....BETH'S THE ANGEL..

Just wondering about an update, great series so far!!! keep up the great work and hope to see something when its ready.

plss write more :P

Best erotica I've ever read, period! Sure hope you continue this story.

Trying to be patient but just curious, when is the next chapter to be expected?

Keep writing... it's really great

This is one of the best series I have read so far on this site. Also one of the best erotic stories I have read, period.

So please don't be one of those people that start a really good story, to never finish it.

It's been almost a month now. What happened to the next chapter?

guys, calm down. click on his username, then "biography". he's "blogging" there. he's at it, only work comes first, not a bunch of internet perverts. also, there's absolutely no need to lie there, so it's not a ruse.

though I'd appreciate more regular updates of that "blog"; you letting us know you're still committed to this story, Mentalcase. It's been already a (long, boring, sad) week again ;-)

Hard to stop reading once you start - in more ways than one.

Mental,

they got you working your fingers to the bone, finish 17 when you can we'll wait for it. During the season as it is, some of us work longer hours when we have to. Thanks for the great read!!!!

The build up is very good and I must say that you do write well. Am waiting expectantly for 17. way to go

I've read a few of these stories now and very few have been able to maintain the level of suspense you have.

I will perhaps suggest that they could do with going over and re-editing as there a some Grammatical and Continuity errors throughout.

Even with the errors I'd have to say that these chapters are 90% perfectly written.

I have three step sisters,ya n they r all hot,shit does go on but there r more dynamics to consider.Great story :)

These stories are so fricken awesome, i can't wait for the next one to come out, please hurry with your writings and publish the next one. Thank You!!!!!

I think your stories are the most addictive I have come across so far! You had me hooked from the first chapter and I cant wait to read some more!

some slight grammar, spelling and continuity errors and I kinda felt that the whole Beth getting it on with Mike wasn't as sensual as it should have been.

I personally felt that her introduction should have been more serene, more meaningful... something like that anyway :P

Keep up the good work and I can't wait for Ch. 17 :)

is Chapter 17.

That was cute. Thanks! MentalCase is working on it. Soon as he gets it to me, I'll return it as quickly as humanly possible. You guys (and gals) are great. This is sooo much fun.

That last comment was mine, ZexWizzard. I don't know why it posted anonymous.

I (and probably quite a few others) really appreciate your efforts. (don't speed it to the detriment of quality though.) happy holidays!

Props to mental and zex. This one hell of a story. One of my favorite things is how its funny in addition to obvious qualities. Keep up the great work. And ch. 17 would be a great Christmas present haha

Best series I have read on here in 10 years. Please write chapter 17 asap!! :-)

I newly registered just so I'd have a chance to say how impressed I am with your writing. The sex scenes you create are very sensual and pleasing. I enjoy your 'slow hand' writing style, which (I'll globally assume) is appealing to women. Keep up the amazing work and I look forward to reading more of your writing!

Over my colorful career reading smut on literotica, I must say, your series is the best incest I've read.. so erotic and the girls are kinky. I wouldn't mind the girl becoming more kinky though... like tonguing the ears and the girls eating their own creampies... that'd be so hottt!

Anyway, I anticipate your next update with great tension. :D

Happy New Decade, dear author.

muciope

How is Emma faster than Mike, if he was the star wide receiver back in high school? lol yeah kinda pointless now but just wanted to mention it.

But other than that, I love this series. I like the way his sisters react to him and the way he's possesive over them, like they're girlfriends. I hope that the sex stays between the family, instead of piling more women on Mike. I'd rather it gets more creative with him and his sisters.

Wonderful story. I just found it over the break, and caught up today. I love the pacing and romance of the story. Keep up the good work and thanks for all of the updates.

A Perfectly wonderful read! My ONLY critism is that this is your only story submission! lol...c'mon...do you REALLY have to have a job? Thanx for sharing your fantastic talent.

I'm hoping that you do have many more chapters planned.

I really love this. Can not wait for more.

Will be trawling every day awaiting each new chapter.

This is the first Ive commented on this story. I know you mentioned at the beginning that these chapters take time to put together since you have a fulltime job, and I get that.

But what Id like to say to all the readers out there, how about we start up a collection, Im guessing if we all put in just a few bucks, he could quit his job, write fulltime, and pump (pun intended) out many more chapters much quicker. Whos with me? :)

This is a great one Beth busts out of her shell but the poor voice didn't get his free 4 all show down lol. Lets hope the girls took there Depo shot or something

I'm with LustyWheels here, I hope Beth got her shot as well. That was fucking HOT!!!!

ride that cock beth yaaaaa!!!

Suck it Bet! Suck it dry!

dude that was fucking amazing go beth ride it all night

I totally love your whole story, and you are completely right, this is the best chapter. I am seriously starting to love "The Voice". At first, I thought it was totally weird. now it makes me laugh my ass off. Keep writing, this is great! ~hugs~

While reading the comments after the chapters of your wonderful story, I noticed that the anonymous commentators were moving in a more constructive and positive direction (YAY). Then, along comes STUPID. Oh well, some do sneak through.

I am an anonymous commenter by circumstance not by choice. I am determined to gain membership in this fine website. In any case, Mentalcase, You are doing fine in my humble opinion. Your editor is really good. Maybe a good independent proof reader would be helpful. Someone with the patience to read slowly enough to see the little errors. Believe me, I speak from experience. I am addicted to this series. I am not speaking facetiously when I say, "I hope I live long enough to see the final chapter". In other words the more chapters the merrier.

Chuck from Cincinnati

...until the mystery girl showed up. I kept thinking 'Don't do it Mike, make sure who it is first'. I actually stopped reading and scrolled down to make sure it was one of his sisters because I was scared he was going to accidentally cheat on them.

Basically what I'm saying is that his is an awesome story and you are an awesome writer. Very few stories on literotica actually make me care about the characters.

Beth is so feisty! I love it! Ashley's pissing me off though trying to get in the circle of love. Plus, she has no boobs. That just makes me go :(

Positively addicting love everything about series my biggest fear is when everything comes to an end

I'm so glad Beth finnaly gave in to her desires or curiosity whatever it was it was well worth the wait! The continuous orgasm was my favorite part the longer i read the more addicted i become. On a personal note to Mentalcase: you are a fantastic writer and i only hope to see more of your material in the future. On to chapter 17!!

I knew from your narration, that Beth was gonna get there. I mean really that's where it been heading, right? But I will say this , you and your descriptions got to me in this story,, The story felt like you'd gotten your rythym, an almost iambic pent... except it was your meter, and metier, that makes this one flow.

My e-mail is: rmcgillvray@gci.net. I would like to read your response.

Rudy

Right off the bat I have to say, the only reason I titled it awful was so you'd read this. This story is truly amazing. Pure genius. And I like the way that you work comedy in there. It's a nice break. I'd love to have a few pointers on writing a shorter story like this (fan fic.) if you could give me a few tips, that'd be great my email is nick09nick@gmail.com

You really have a gift for this! I enjoy the way you build the storyline, but dont drag it out to long, otherwise it can become boring and people read erotica to become aroused, not bored! Look forward to reading more, cheers!

the girls' initials:

B

D

S

eM

beth, danni, sarah emma.

and Mike

man that was a good catch and no way it's by accident. lol

Love Beth!! More Beth!!! Haha!

its always the quite ones

He is such a idiot loser! Yeesh! Lolita redhead is already fucking him and he pushes her off and runs in the house like a ten year old?! Wtf? If he really gave a shit he would have grabbed both her hands and kept them above the water from the beginning. ...then he's upstairs going to fuck the mystery chick no matter who she was, what, just because his sisters wouldnt know? Loser. Oh, but its my virgin sister! Let me shoot a big wad of cum up her unprotected hole, thaaaats ok! ...prolly right after he picked up a case of syphilis from the redhead so he could give it to her! Looooooser!

Gotta agree, mike flip flops from really interesting to big ass pussy douche, ...and everyone vilifies Ash and treats her like shit (sorry, second read thru!) just because shes in love with Mike. The big pussy should have finished fucking her in the hot tub like a fucking man, hell she was already on him so why not enjoy it? The sisters cant say shit since they let Mike play to begin with and KNEW where drunk truth or dare was going to wind up anyway! ...and what kind of loser pussy tells a naked girl in a hot tub to quit playing with his dick?! If my wife was sitting next to me in there and her friend was on the other side playing with my dick Id let her, not like the wife would think a bunch of naked people drunk in the hottub are going to behave! Argh!!

Mike is in love with his sisters and feels like he's betraying them. Also, adding a horny female from outside the family would nix the whole thing.

No, I don't want to get off the losers case, ugh! He doesn't feel like he betrayed them, he sure as fuck didn't care who snuck in his room to fuck him, just ran with it! Hell, the redhead was already on his dick, if anything pushing her off made things look suspiciously worse! (That and made him look like the wanker pussy he is, ya gotta admit!). His morals dont extend to worrying about betrayal, he just didnt want to get caught, which of course, made it worse, lol! I love the shit out of this story, hell Ive read it a few times, doesn't change the fact that he's a wanker for over half the story :)

what a night

As a general rule, writing in ‘(gasp)’ mid dialogue is a little inelegant, especially when there are so many other ways to describe it - primarily because it looks so unnatural and causes issues with reader immersion. Honestly, just your use of ellipses and a note outside of the speech that Beth was gasping would have been more than enough. However, if you did want to put more emphasis on it, you can either write it onomatopoeiacly (again though, a certain level of caution is needed not to overdo this), or write it in a la JK Rowling speech style with dashes, e.g. ‘oh yeah baby -‘ she cut off with a gasp ‘- just like that...’.

I genuinely really like your writing, but that is definitely one of area for improvement! Just fragmenting your speech with punctuation and moving some of the description (of gasping in this example) outside of your speech would do wonders for your style :)

Lovin' the story!! Man, Mike's cock sure does seem to have some poetic license when he has any clothes on, lol. Dudes rock hard cock 'floats' out through his boxer slit in the hottub, rofl! You ever actually tried to get your hard dick out of your boxers, it's a major event, rofl! Ive had to damn near wedgie myself to get the slit high enough before, hehehe. Then all the times the girls are sitting in/on his lap and magically on his dick. While he's dressed. How does THAT work? Lol. Even if it's long enough and shoved down a pants leg, as soon as it even thinks of getting hard, a guy is moving it to aim up to avoid the serious pain of a straining dick being bent down, hehehe!

Oh well, Magic Mike should have dick magic, right?? ;)

...and I thought it was funny as hell that he was being fussy about the short, skinny readhead, prolly the tightest pussy he'll ever get, corkscrewing his cock, but he doesn't bat an eye at wanting to happily dick the midnight stranger! Rofl. Me, I'm thinking a simple 'hey, whose there?' But I guess that's not our slow brained hero, hehehe!

Man the writing is crazy fun!!

still dont like Beth much XD my favs is Dannica and Emma.

He doesn't like Beth,but truthfully Beth was the most virtuous of all the Sisters,knowing Mike would love her for her precious gift she gave him and him being gentle and caring.I don't see why one poster said he didn't like Beth,but to me Beth may have been socially naive but she was the least corrupted of the sisters,almost like the Virgin Mary,but granted after Mike took her V Card she became eager for more but honestly that didn''t make Beth a Slut,just enthusiastic which there's a difference.

Now apparently Mikes Mom & Dad were both Doctors and had life insurance policies that we heard about and how Mike and his Sisters inherited,so if they are all well off how come they are all going to College and stuff if they don't have to work?.I honestly think all 5 Siblings should just quit and become a full-time incestual group and Mike does like the Voice says and impregnate all of his Sisters so they have his babies,they all need that in my opinion.

This has to be THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER READ, as far as literotica!!

My parents had a book called "The Pearl" when I was a kid...was Victorian nasty stories and when I finally was able to get a hold of it, made my teenage dreams so good...and I almost wore myself out.

I identify with Beth...I wa not quite as smart, but socially awkward, like she is...but the girls found out that you gotta "watch out for the quiet ones!!"

PLEASE, keep the chapters coming...😈😵

The only ones who write neg comments are incapable of doing anything like writing. I admire anyone who steps up and does what they like to do just for shits and giggles. I have been hooked on many stories both long and short then was sad when they ended. So bravo to you and the others who put their work out there as a part of themselves. Oh, and Gene would be a good name to use.

Let’s go, one thing thou, I feel mike should have stopped Ashley. He is with his sisters already and even told Danni many times how much he loves her so he should have stopped Ashley before it was to late.

Thank you for writing this fantastically erotic fantasy. I wouldn’t presume to comment on your story line or character development, other than to compliment you on them. I’m looking forward to more adventures. Keep going! BZ

Its always the shy, quiet sister thats the wildest...

Another mind-boggling chapter, full of emotion and love, plus the still-on-going teasing with the siblings.

NOW...Beth has joined the game, so to speak; lowered inhibitions led to she and Mike completing themselves, and the sisterly harem.

As some body else pointed out, the quiet ones are usually the ones who can have the most fun, and harbor the ability to fulfill the needs of not only themselves, but their partner; Mike is finding this out first-hand!!

To the reader from four(4) years ago, who got to read "The Pearl"...my parents had that book also, and the stories in it rival ANYTHING I have seen/read on Literotica, or anywhere else, for that matter. It made my teenage years quite enjoyable, as I was also shy and reserved, afraid of girls for many years...I was not a virgin, just selective about choice in ladies...at least until I was 25...came ROARING out of my shell them!!

Ashley...kinda saw that coming; Mike was targeted, and his sisters should have put a 🛑 stop to her shenanigans. Could have somehow been avoided, without serious drama or giving anything away. Oh, well, what's done is done!!

Magnificent chapter...Five**5**Stars, as usual, and deserving of more!!

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🎉🌪️💥💥💥💥💥🌋💯